The journey, and the final stop is.....?

[sarah378619]

Hey everyone,
I have had Gender Disphoria since I can remember. I have always felt like a girl and was a girly girl in my early 20's. I had grown my hair to mid back and was dressing as a girl almost always. I tried to be what everyone thought I should be so I cut my hair, got a job and got married. I recently got divorced and realized that being a Sarah is very important to me. I am at the point of deciding on whether making physical changes makes me a woman or is it my mind.I think i can still be a woman without removing certain parts, but at the same time I am drawn to being completely Sarah. I would appreciate your Wisdom.
Sarah

[KellyJameson]

Did you present in public as a woman in your twenties ?

When you say being Sarah it sounds like you are talking about being this "other person" separate from you but how is that person different from you ?

What does being a woman mean to you ? What would you gain that you do not have now ?

[sarah378619]

Really good questions Kelly. I am the same person, but have not come out at work and I am still a father to my daughters.Being a woman is hard to explain, it is something I feel, that I am.A feeling of being pretty and fem and just peace. I would gain an inner peace of knowing my body is the same as my mind. But I feel that way now too even without the physical changes.I guess the freedom of being Sarah 24/7 I guess.
Sarah

Kelly,
I forgot to answer a question.I did very much dress as a girl in my 20's skinny jeans pastel tops, hair in updo's scrunche pony tail holders,pretty bun's. I miss it very much some days. I was very happy then.I have started going out again and am enjoying it very much.

Sarah

[Rachelakld]

A point of view.
I can be a father to my daughters, and also a girlfriend to them.
You do not seem repelled buy having incorrect appendages, and you sound fem with where you are now, why change?
The TGs in my area accept their bodies and everyone accepts them as GGs

[Persephone]

I am at the point of deciding on whether making physical changes makes me a woman or is it my mind.I think i can still be a woman without removing certain parts, but at the same time I am drawn to being completely Sarah. I would appreciate your Wisdom.
Sarah

I totally understand your conflict, Sarah, and I'm not dismissing it nor am I resorting to platitudes, but it is really your own heart that can guide you.

I lead a wonderful life in which I live and socialize as a woman. Retired, I am out to everyone in my circle of friends, I belong to several women's social groups, have worked out at women's gyms, travel en femme even on very long multi-day train trips, and have spent weeks at a time as a woman with other women sharing a time-share condo. I move through the world as a woman.

I still have parts that I rather wish I didn't have, but my circumstances work out best this way.

So for me it is the socialization that makes me a woman and parts occupy a secondary tier.

It has to be what feels right for you.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Megan72]

Sarah, while my wisdom in this area is somewhat limited the best advice I can give is to begin therapy and just be open and honest, and leave your mind open to any and all possibilities. Megan

[Kaitlyn Michele]

You should approach this very slowly...
If you are going on a journey the more you know about your goals and how to achieve them the better..


....if sarah is a part of you, go for it and dress all you want and see what happens out there in the world...asking people about it is just gonna get a new opinion every post...including mine..hehe

Not everybody knows what is right for them when they are given the freedom to explore..
gender dysphoria can be explored in words but can only be mitigated by action.

You can live as a lots of time/full time crossdresser and be accepted by many people..you can dress as you desire, when you desire...
...that is an attractive choice for some but its a lot easier if you don't need to work or if you are not a highly intense transsexual
....if you work as a guy then you are really talking about crossdressing..which anyone can do happily at any time and for any reason they choose.. you don't have to change anything about your life unless you do it for your own reasons..

just dress more, enjoy it and see what happens... interact with more people, get feedback.. you just got divorced, take your time and explore your freedom..

bottom line is to get yourself into a therapy situation with an experienced person

[mary something]

Do you feel a need to change your body? I'm not talking about getting getting rid of parts necessarily, but do you feel the urge, impulse, need, desire, whatever you call it to change your body?

[MssHyde]

I feel for you, this can be so confusing, at least you have good memories, but its time to make some new ones.

be as discrete as you need to be to protect whats most important to you. most of its in your mind, just like happiness is a state of mind.

I've often said battles are won and lost in the mind. I wish you peace.

[sarah378619]

Right now I am growing as Sarah and experiencing so many wonderful feelings and emotions.I dress as Sarah in nearly all my off time. I have gone out to some alterntative LGBT clubs and have enjoyed being accepted. I was even hit on by another girl which brought out such strong feelings. I liked feeling beautiful,attractive and wanted as Sarah and it felt so right in so many ways. I am just going to explore and find myself.I know I am at a very real sense a girl at heart.
Sarah

[mikiSJ]

When you say being Sarah it sounds like you are talking about being this "other person" separate from you but how is that person different from you ?

I was asked, 6 weeks ago, by one of my therapists why I referred to Miki in the third person, as Kelly asks. I think this was the turning point in my journey. I am Miki and I like myself.

I think it is important to combine who you are, what you want to be and who you can be into one person. It is very difficult. Sure you can do in the mirror in your bathroom, but can you be you in front of your friends.

I am not silly enough to think I can be myself everywhere I go. I have a professional reputation I don't want to give up. But as soon as you can admit who you are, you will heading in the right direction.

[sarah378619]

I know I am on my way.That is what feels so good. The best feeling is not knowing where the story ends. But I do know part of my heart of hearts is femme or a girl. It is a natural part of me in either male or femme mode.
Sarah

[Kaitlyn Michele]

good luck with that..

[Jorja]

Only you can say where your journey begins and ends. For some there is a stopping point due to things like medical reasons, finances, and just not the desire to remove or add body parts. For others, it is all the way or bust. Look deep within yourself, mind, body, and soul. Your answer lies within you.

[Inna]

Being a woman rather then sensation of being a woman are two different aspects of self.
One external, having to do with interactivity with your environment, the other internal, having to do with mechanism of self.

Internal, sensual woman is at the core of you, this is who you are, however as for most, visual sensory reinforcement tells you otherwise, therefore creating a Dysphoric, Non Congruent discourse.

Some do ok with duality, but I believe that number to be very low. As for most, well, the visual aspect needs to follow the essence of internal being.

Internal being is your true self, the external is a mask, regardless of gender expression, it is an AVATAR you interact through with the world.
If Woman Avatar is of preference or rather necessity, then by all means do pursue the correct expression.