Do you get moodier when you've gone a while without dressing?

[Stark]

Hi all,

I haven't posted in a bit, so for refreshers, I'm a platonic but increasingly emotionally intimate friend with a beautiful human being who also happens to be a CD'er. I'm also an Ft* transperson, in case that matters. :)

My friend moved a few months ago and is living with a friend of his who does not know, so he has all his girl clothes in boxes for when he eventually gets his own place. This is probably the longest stretch he's gone in a few years of not being able to get fully en femme, and I'm wondering if it's possible that it's an underlying cause for what I see as an increasing tendency towards moodiness. Or maybe he's just gotten more comfortable letting me see his cranky side! :straightface: But I really think that with all the stress he's under financially, relationally, and professionally (stressors that were present at his old location as well), that he could use the release of getting to be in "girl mode." He still underdresses, and does little things like put on lip gloss on his drive home, but maybe that's not enough...?

Any thoughts from anyone who's had to go through a forced layoff of full-on dressing? Did you find it made you more inclined to be, well, a bit bitchy, or to have a lower tolerance for things than you normally would? If so, how did you deal? How would you recommend I deal with the "flare-ups" when he just seems to get childish, for lack of a better word?

[Beverley Sims]

I most certainly got frustrated if I could not dress occasionally.

[Lady Catherine]

I am definitely a lot more cranky when something happens that I can't dress for awhile. My wife notices this as well.

[divamissz]

Yes. Ask my family.

[Brooklyn]

:yt: I told my fiancée about my past and resisted dressing the entire time I was married. Maybe I would still be married if I had, because I was def a crank-pot for a few years. Now I'm like all rainbows, butterflies and unicorns...

[Aneline]

Well I'm rarely "all rainbows, butterflies and unicorns..." but I definitely get cranky if I can't dress up for a while.. It is a stress reliever for me.

[kelly10]

I did not dress for almost 20 years as my family grew and I did not want to burden them with the confusion I thought it would cause them (plus I was terrified of being outed to all but my SO). She was always amazingly comfortable with my CDing, often more than even I was. Well the kids are grown and moved out and I am BACK in CD mode (with my wife's full encouragement) after all these years with not even a stocking against my legs... I was truly a ferocious resister...In retrospect, my marriage was almost destroyed by the angry, emotionally distant, tense and frustrated person I became. I had no real sense of how distant from her and myself I had become. We are now rediscovering the relationship we had when we met 35 years ago (I was always totally upfront with her about my CDing). She says she cannot believe the change in my personality, how much more relaxed and loving I am. I honestly feel as if in many ways I have been asleep for 20 years and am finally alive again. A bit bitchy, cranky etc. when resisting who I am...ohhhh yeahhhh.

[Kate Simmons]

It depends on the person and the situation. Some are more tolerant than others. In my own case, the CDing has more or less taken a back seat to management of my diabetes which is like playing with a chemistry set full time. The simple fact is if I don't stay on top of my condition, I won't be able to CD or much of anything else. Priorities do sometimes change with the situation.:)

[Joanne f]

As the saying go's " It come's with the territory" and it can only get worse if you plan a time to dress but for some reason it doe's not happen .

[Bethany38]

I have noticed that if I do not dress or at least semi-dress for a period of time. I will get cranky as a matter of fact my wife has looked at me and told me I need to dress.
She says Bethany is b....... to get out.

[sweetshauna]

Looks like you got your answer. And to add to the majority of the replies to your post....Yes, I do tend to get moody, and my wife can vouch for that.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Stark, Oh yea that happens after about twelve to sixteen hours of not dressing.

[Marcelle]

I would have to go with "yes" on this one and my wife would be the first to agree. I don't go out full femme that often and when I do, I find I can go a good spell without a total Isha transformation before I get a bit edgy. However, we (my wife and I) found that if I dress at night in femme lounging clothes (fleecy shorts, top) and wig, no make-up (Isha au natural), I am less likely to get cranky. When I do get cranky (having not dressed semi or full) for some time, my wife is the first to say, I think Isha should visit today.

Hugs

Isha

[CarlaWestin]

After an extended Carla time, I have to adjust back into faux reality. Wife wants no real part of understanding and there are times I just want to scream, "Don't you get how boring everything else is?" But, I just keep my cool. Other than that, I'm OK.

[linda allen]

1) There are plenty of things going on in the world to make me "cranky", dressing or not dressing is not one of them. I think that's an excuse that many crossdressers use.

2) Your friend made a conscious decision to put himself in a situation where he could not crossdress. He has only himself to blame for his situation. And only he can get himself out of it.

3) How to deal with your friend? Talk to him. Tell him he needs to change his behavior around you or else he won't be around you.

[Sarah Beth]

It sounds to me like there is combination of things that would make this person a bit on cranky side. Having to move in with someone else and you mentioned financial problems. Its a lot of stress just being in someone else's home when its not really yours. After awhile everything gets to weighing on a person and they can get cranky. I'm sure a part of that is the lack of freedome to be able to dress. I know for me if I go to long without being to able to get that fem time I get a bit edgy.

[Karren H]

I rarely get cranky or moody.... and if I do it has nothing to do with what clothes I am or am not wearing.....

[SherriePall]

Just ask my wife. After I first told her about me, one of the first things she said (after she calmed down and spoke to me again) was that my CDing (or lack thereof) explained why I would get moody or cranky for no apparent reason. I guess it must be true because since that time I get more opportunity to be myself and I have heard few if no complaints about my demeanor.

[Lynn Marie]

Obsession leads to frustration when we are prevented from partaking in our obsession.
Many of us are obsessive with our hobbies and interests.
Removing the obstacles in the way of our obsessions should lead to balance.
At least that's how it seems to work for me.

[KarenCDFL]

Great question and the answer is a definite yes!

My wife does recognize this and she makes sure to let me know that its time to get girly.

[Linda E. Woodworth]

That is a definate Yes!!!!

It is incredibly liberating to be able to dress and relax enfemme. Linda doesn't have any of the baggage to drag around that her "male" counterpart carries.

My wife watches for this and will try very hard to give me "girl" time where I can be me for the afternoon or sometimes the entire day. The best was when I came home from a 3 1/2 month contract and she took the kids away for a 4 day weekend. I was feminine the entire time and even went that way to a support group meeting. It was wonderful and I hated to change back in the end.:)

[Judith96a]

I don't get moody but I do get rather frustrated. Shopping for girly things helps :battingeyelashes:


How would you recommend I deal with the "flare-ups" when he just seems to get childish, for lack of a better word?

Throw a full-on tantrum??? ;)

In my hometown they'd say to him "Dry yer eyes"!!

I'll let some else from the Emerald Isle translate that one!

[Jackie7]

Yes, I too get cranky when I don't dress for a while for whatever reason. But while I prefer to dress fully en femme, just underdressing will take the edge off my crankiness and restore usual sunny self. The more out of sorts I'm feeling, the more elaborate and complex the underwear.

[JulieMcKie]

I definitely get edgy and cranky when going through "can't dress stress". As I get older, the period of time it takes to reach that level of moodiness seems to shorten.

[Shanine]

I find the longer I go without dressing the more depressed I get. Not really cranky or irritable, just blah. Weekends are great, can go almost all day dressed, but the work week is a little bit more complicated, and this is where my moodiness happens. The time to dress is just soo compressed and short, not satisfying.

[ReineD]

Obsession leads to frustration when we are prevented from partaking in our obsession.
Many of us are obsessive with our hobbies and interests.
Removing the obstacles in the way of our obsessions should lead to balance.

This is very true. I'm not a CDer, but I was at one time a beyond avid skier. If I didn't get my twice weekly fix, I would be cranky beyond belief.

But, I disagree with Lynn Marie in that the solution is not necessarily to remove the obstacles to doing what we want to do. Working on obstacles is all well and good, but we must also work on self-control. Most importantly, we must find ways to replace the need to indulge in our obsessions with a knowledge that we are multi-faceted people who have the ability to have a multitude of passions. And then engage in what we can engage in and enjoy THAT instead, and have faith that the time will come to engage in the passion that we are currently deprived of. (I'm not speaking of transsexuals here.)

In other words, there is no need to regurgitate our discontent all over other people.

[Gillian Gigs]

Do I get;
1. moody
2. cranky
3. edgy
4. bitchy
5. all of the above

Just like the rest of us around here. It's amazing what a few articles of clothing can do to mellow me out. I definately like to "OM" regularly.
* "OM", over mellow, LOL.

PS: it is not good to get obsessive about anything, but I would rather indulge myself in lingerie, than drink, or do drugs!

[Crissy Kay]

I do think that is the thing for me as well. I usually do not dress until the weekend. But, if I am not able to get any dressing time in, I find myself being moody or short tempered.

[nooneknows]

I definitely get the can't dress stress, as soo perfectly phrased above lol. I'm sure it varies between individuals but i get cranky and short tempered.

[Lexi Moralas]

I am currently on a forced lay off from dressing ! And it sucks! Yes it makes me moody at times. But participating in this forum dose help take the edge off.

[Abbey11]

Oooooh yes! I get moody and irritable and Abbey must come out and play.

[aly01]

That would be a definite yes from me. I notice when I don't dress I get cross with family.

[Nadine Spirit]

That is totally how I know I have gone far too long between dressing.

[Tracee-Anderson]

HMmmm. Had to think about this one for a bit. It seems like I go in swings regarding dressing at all. Like I will go for a stretch without thinking about it. (Never self imposed as I am perfectly OK with it as is my wife) But when it comes back it's usually pretty strong. So I dress every chance I get for a while. I never looked close enough to see if the swings correlate to other events in life, or if moodiness is a precursor to the desire hitting.
Maybe someday I'll take the time to analyze myself at that level............NOT!:)

[Stark]

Thanks for your thoughts Linda. I just wanted to clarify (even though I don't think he's on this forum) that he's not taking it out on me per se; I'm just noticing the crankiness directed at things in general. Don't worry; I'm good at setting my boundaries. :)

[Emma 73]

Yes I do get a bit cranky and irritable when I can't dress for a while, I've tried just heels and while this slightly takes the edge off I know I will be seeing emma sometime soon when I'm at this stage......:)

[EllenJo]

I don't think I get cranky but my wife thinks so. On more than one occasion when I was angry about something she will tell me to "go get your girl on" and calm down. I do and it works. Since I can dress when I want to it is not from lack of dressing opportunity but more just a calming factor that lets me gain perspective. I don't care if there is some scientific reason for this, it is just what works for us.
Hugs
Ellen Jo

[tylia]

you look fabulous Julie, If i looked like you i would be dressed all the time and not get moody at all

[jennifer60]

I certainly am more moody and grumpy when I go without dressing

[lovetobedani]

I get moody, cranky and depressed.

[karenroberts]

I try to stay happy and positive all the time. When I can't dress I can always look at my secret photo albums :)

[Adriana Moretti]

HMMM this is a good question......my nickname is "moody" maybe this is why....and this week I am EXTRA moody...cause I know next week I will have all WEEK to dress

[Nancie64]

Thought maybe I was the only one this affected (just kidding). My SO also notices the different. Harder in the summer because the heat does cause some problems. In the winter it's a little easier but the breeze up the skirt at 15 below is dam cold. That's why those trips to Vegas are so much fun. We do are best and we should not be taking it out on our SO. Be glad our SO is understanding and tolarates us. Thanks baby.