First Time to See My Parents since My Transition

[steph1964]

I went to visit my brother this weekend in Sacramento and my parents drove up there from the San Francisco Bay Area for the weekend. This was the first time my parents had seen me since I transitioned and my father hadn’t even looked at a photograph. My parents are very loving but had previously told me that they weren’t ready to see me, and didn’t know when they would be ready. I was expecting not to be able to make my yearly visit home this Christmas because it didn’t look like they would be ready any time soon.

They phoned me last week and asked if I would be able to go to my brother’s for the weekend because they were going there to see my nephew in a school play, and thought that it would be easier to see me there. I visited my brother and his family last month so they were comfortable with me.

I was very nervous because I didn’t know how they would react. I know they love me but I was afraid that it would be too much for them to see me in person. My ex-wife Angie came with me for support and we arrived at my brother’s house first. Angie and I are very close and my family loves her. When my parents arrived my Dad said “Hi Stephanie” as they walked in and they both gave me long, tight hugs and told me that they loved me. It was very emotional.

The weekend went better than I could have imagined. For most of the weekend it was no different than any other time and my parents acted very comfortable around me. We did talk about it some and my parents wanted me to know that they loved and supported me. My Mum said that she thought it would be a little strange at first but she was comfortable as soon as she saw me. They both made an attempt to call me Stephanie and although they called me Anthony frequently, it was obvious that they were trying.

They dropped us off at the airport today and when I hugged my parents goodbye my Dad told me that they are always here for me for whatever I need. Again, it was very emotional. I couldn’t have wished for a better outcome.

[Julie Gaum]

That was even emotional and heart-warming to read. Without needing to know the details of what you must have endured to reach that point in your new life it would seem that it's now all very well worthwhile after that fantastic reception.
May your future be just as bright,
Julie

[Barbara Ella]

Steph, you have handled yourself wonderfully throughout all you have accomplished, and those around you can sense this and act accordingly. Your parents are wonderful and you are a lucky woman. So happy for you dear.

Barbara

[Eryn]

Steph, thanks for telling your wonderful story. I know that it was tough, but everything seems to have gone well for you and your family!

[ReineD]

Oh Wow! I'm so pleased for you, Stephanie. Congratulations! :)

[Persephone]

How wonderful, Stephanie!

I can only imagine what it took you and your parents to reach this moment, but it is a beautiful moment in your new life.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[MssHyde]

good for you, that was a very heart felt touching story

[S. Lisa Smith]

I'm glad things went well!!

[Megan72]

Stephanie, this was so touching and wonderful to read, thank you for posting it. Am so happy it went so well. Megan

[Allison_Leslie]

That is VERY inspiring!

[Sonya]

Always happy to read good ending stories. I am also very happy for you, and I wish you more and more and some more happiness.

[vallerie lacy]

So happy for you. Where the hell are the tissues when you need them.

[Bunny Girl Zoe]

Lovely to read story's like this. So happy for you.

[nicolecdgal]

This is such wonderful news Stephanie!!! I know after out lunch date the other day that you really wanted this to happen and you didn't know if and when it would. In such a short period of time you have made so much progress!!! Just think what life will be like one year from now. Congrats again...very happy for you...and so nice that Angie could be there for you for support!!

[Bria]

Thanks for such a heartwarming story, you have very loving parents! If I as a parent was faced with a similar situation, I hope that I would respond just as your parents did. Hugs Bria

[Jorja]

I am glad everything went well for you. I remember my first meeting with my parents wasn't so plesent. I remember my father yelling F. O. and die fagot. At least there was no doubt where he stood on the subject. It took several years but he got over it and was a joy to be around before the end of his life.

[Angela Campbell]

It sounds like things went pretty well. That is good considering they have had little time to get used to it all. Sometimes it just takes a while before they will be comfortable, but many will. I still have a few in my family who are avoiding me, probably because they just don't know how to deal with it. I love them so I will just give them time.

[PretzelGirl]

What a great story! Damn, my face seems to be a little wet.

[I Am Paula]

This is what we all pray for.
It took me weeks of mental preparation to walk into my parent's house. Luckily, when I did, I got nothing but love, support, and encouragement.

[mary something]

Thanks for sharing this! We don't all get this type of treatment but it is important to know that it is out there and possible! Congrats :)

[Julie8181]

Congratulations, Steph!

[VickyMI]

Your story made me tear up. Thanks for sharing.

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Steph what a wonderful story.It touched me and made me very happy.

[Leah Lynn]

I am so happy for you, Steph! I have no idea how far I'll make it with this, due to health issues, but if I reach the point where you are, I can only pray that it would be at least half as good as it's been for you.

You are an inspiration for the rest of us.

Hugs,

Leah

[steph1964]

It sounds like things went pretty well. That is good considering they have had little time to get used to it all. Sometimes it just takes a while before they will be comfortable, but many will. I still have a few in my family who are avoiding me, probably because they just don't know how to deal with it. I love them so I will just give them time.

I told my parents last November so they have known a year but they didn't belive I was really going to transition until May. It took me over two years to accept it and I have know about this since was 4 so one year isn't really that long although it feels that way.

I know that I have been very fortunate and I feel very sorry that others like Jorja have to go through such rejection. On Monday I went to a PFLAG meeting and a 19th year old said he had just told his parents that he is gay and they told him he wasn't part of their family anymore. It is so tragic that people have to go through that.

Thank you everyone for the comments.

[Angela Campbell]

Being told and actually being around you are two different things. I have seen such a big change in my Mother over the last few months. Except for rare occasions I am fully a woman when we are together now and she is slowly growing more and more used to it every day. My name is becoming more natural to say and telling people I am her daughter is done more often as well. I think it is more being around you as you are now more than just the knowledge that this is now you is much more of a factor in how they grow to accept this. Seeing how much this has positively effected your life has a very strong effect and that takes time.