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View Full Version : Finally the first official step the good and the bad



vetobob9
11-18-2013, 07:41 PM
It has been a couple of months since I've moved back to California. But I have not been able to go to the VA until today. We had to take my dad there because his legs were swollen from all the soda's and junk food he consumed.
While there, I went ahead and started the process of filling out paperwork. I had to find my way around of course. I ended up finding the transition services rep when I went to ask him for directions. He told me to come back after 1:00 pm so they could assign me a primary care doctor and find out if there is anything else I needed help with like education, job searches, mental health and the like.

I went downstairs to check on my dad and they had him hooked up. His pulse was only 29 so they were discussing giving him a pacemaker. The problem was that because of the damage to his kidney from all the soda's beers, cigarrettes, junk food, and salt, his kidneys might not be able to take the stress from the installment of the pacemaker. They had to admit him.

That is the bad news. Now the good news.

I went back upstairs and talked to the case manager. I asked her if they got very many transgender patients at there, the Long Beach VA. She said they have a lot of them. It turns out the VA in Long Beach is trans friendly. I then said I was trans and she asked if I wanted to transition. I said yes, but I would like to hold on to certain parts that provide me the only means by which to become a biological parent.

She asked where I wanted to start. I said I thought I should start with counseling since, that is what everything I read on the internet says you are supposed to do.
So now I have an appointment with the primary care provider and they are going to call me about the mental health appointment. She usually makes referals for things like PTSD and TB but she is going to try someone at the VA to set me up with.

When I get my appointment, what should I tell them? Any advice from those of you have already been, are going through, this part of the process?

Angela Campbell
11-18-2013, 07:56 PM
They will probably start with "why are you here, and what do you hope to accomplish" Don't worry they will guide you and get you started, once it starts there is no end to where the conversations will go. I went in, fully dressed as a woman, and told him "I want to transition". I figured there was no need to dally around about it. I did realize that time is different there when speaking to the therapist. An hour only takes about 5 minutes.

mary something
11-18-2013, 08:01 PM
Angela is exactly right, an hour lasts about 5 minutes lol :) I've only had a couple therapists before, one for gender issues and another for relationship issues but each time the first visit was more about introductions and what brought you in. Just be honest as possible about yourself, there are no wrong answers lol. The days of trans people needing to fit a narrowly defined narrative to be taken seriously are over thank goodness.

Stephanie-L
11-18-2013, 08:03 PM
Basically, I would advise you to tell them the same thing you said here, you want to transition, but you still want to have kids. Sounds like an excellent place for a discussion. There is a fairly large trans community in the area, so you should be able to find resources, both in and out of the VA. As to having kids, there are other options, such as freezing some of your, um, genetic material, and of course adoption. I am not saying anything either way, just throwing those out there. Be advised that if you do start hormones, there is a large chance you will become sterile, probably permanently, fairly quickly, so I suggest you figure out how you want to handle that before you get to that point.

I spent a lot of time at that particular VA as a volunteer many years ago, it was huge then, I am sure it is even bigger now. If Dr Winer is still there, he was a good kidney doc, and would probably be head of the department now. Much luck to both you and your father.............Stephanie

I Am Paula
11-19-2013, 09:00 AM
I too showed up for my first five minute hour fully dressed. That was all I needed to break the ice. A common fear is that the therapist is a 'gate keeper', and there to prevent you from something. They are there to help, AND to follow basic guidelines of care. Try to relax (hard), tell your story, as simply and accurately as possible, and try to convey your hopes, and expectations of the outcome. I went in with a pretty good knowledge of the drugs, and protocols of HRT, realistic expectations, and dangers, and side effects. Just a couple hours of research.
Good luck!