That true destination

[Erica Marie]

I read so many posts about, how did we start dressing, why do we dress, do I pass, can I blend.
Here is a real question, and one I probably can not even honestly answer myself yet.

What is your true destination. Where do you want your dressing to take you.
Is it just something for comfort and to wind down, a stress reliever?
Is it a fetish?
Do you feel trapped in a mans body and cant get out and need to express anyway you can?
Have you taken the steps to physically change gender?

We all have gone through so many different obstacles getting to where we are. Loss of family, divorce, being outed, having to come clean to a spouse/so. We all have been down some pretty rocky roads but keep trudging on.

How many of us have made it to your final destination and how many of us are not sure what that destination is.

Im still on the long journey. It has taken me from having my mom find my stash at a real early age, having my wife at the time find me out, having my last gf use my dressing as a lame excuse to cheat on me. It all ends up being a deterent but the will never dies. Someday Ill find my place.

[linda allen]

I don't think we set out crossdressing with a destination, I think that's a constantly moving target. My next goal is to walk around town (another town, not where I live) as a female with my wife by my side. Not just once, but from time to time.

That said, I do not want to live full time as a woman or have surgery or take hormones.

[Judith96a]

Good question Erica.
Sometimes it's actually easier to identify the 'non destinations'. So, to answer your questions in reverse order:-

No, I've no interest in surgery or permanent physical changes
I don't feel like a woman trapped in a man's body
My cross dressing might be slightly fetish-ish
It certainly is a stress reliever.

Where do I want to get to? I'm not absolutely sure. Perhaps at least to the point where I can blend confidently and dress as a woman more or less when and where I want (which actually isn't all of the time and everywhere!). As to whether that's achievable, I really don't know.

Lets see where everyone else is headed!

[ringedjohn]

I under-dress only and I do not have a destination. I like the look and feel of women's underwear.

I do not want to try to pass, live as a woman, have surgery or take hormones.

[Kate's at home]

I agree with Linda that the intention remains constantly moving, just like so much of everything else in our lives. And I would argue that as so many conversations here report, how this part of our lives integrates with everything else is critical to the quality of our daily experiences, in this context, and in others. Finding the daily balance in acceptance is the key.

Kate

[Jaylyn]

At present I am satisfied to just dress at my house and about the farm. I have wondered though what it would be like going out with other cross-dressers to clubs or a bar where there are others like me. I am finding my self at age 64 not wanting to be anything but a man in heels and a skirt with a face made up . I love the feel when dressed. I also love the male role I have to play now with so many Grandkids. Wife says I'm much more easy going now and she thinks it's the dressing. I like myself at this stage. Just let me keep my great health to watch my Grandkids grow up and being able to buy the dresses or heels and makeup I want is probably my end destination. I think I have found my place.

[NicoleScott]

I arrived at my destination some time within the last ten years. I'm pretty satisfied with my CDing, much like Jaylyn but without the grandkids.

[kimdl93]

As you stated, some know what place CDing has in their lives, others are feeling their way along. Our answers to tour question are uniquely our own. I presently live more than 1/2 my life as a woman, and hope to approach something close to full time again soon.

What about you, Erica?

[Kate Simmons]

Since my retirement 11 years ago, I've had the time to embrace my feelings and amalgamate them into my overall being. This has not only made me a stronger person but also more caring of others. I'm pretty much who I want to be so my main goal in life at this point is to help others achieve that. My final destination, however, is a spiritual one. :)

[suchacutie]

When we started down this path a few years ago the destination was to understand who Tina had been in my life and who she was at that point. Now that we have a better idea about those issues we're moving on to what might be called"sustainability". What is Tina's every day role? Can she become natural with the millions of little eccentricities that are natural for GGs? Can her voice and language use become second nature? Can we get out of bed and be as natural and routine in whichever gender is slated for that day?

Now that I've written all that it seems a bit overwhelming.

[Beverley Sims]

No destination here.
That sounds like finality.
I will just go on and let it take me where life is interesting.

[EllenJo]

For me this is a journey and I have no idea what the destination may be. I once wished I could find a way to wear panties everyday and I did, then I wanted to wear pantyhose with them and I did, then if I could only wear skirts when I wanted to and I did. Then if only I could dress in whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to without having to hide and I do. Then if only I could .......

I am enjoying the journey and will see where it goes. I do not feel like a woman in a mans body and have no wish to transition...... yet. Who knows and who cares, I am just enjoying the ride, the view out the window is fabulous and I am not going to miss the ride while thinking about the destination.
Hugs
Ellen Jo

[Alice Torn]

Having to survive one day at a time, around my cruel harsh family of origin, and going through the hell of childhood all over again, I only know, that my destination is a hole in the ground, or a crematory oven, or maybe become spirit. I do hope to go out away from the area i live in, if my car is ever healthy to drive again. I would like to actually go to a place, where i can dance, if the music is not too mind bending loud! I shun bars, and booze, usually, but, where else can a CD dance as a lady? I could not do bars or clubs much- way too loud, and way too uch drinking. Maybe once. Also, we are entering very uncharted waters , and our economy is on extremely thin ice. I know, that the day is coming, when times will be so hard, that dressing will end, and just having food, and drinking water, and shelter from the elements, or being in a prison camp will be the issue. Just sharing.

[Zylia]

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. I did not choose to have these feelings and urges, but I do have them and I have decided to deal with them in a positive and constructive way. I don't know where it will take me but I can honestly say that it already surpassed my initial expectations. I've found enjoyment in it.

My short term goal is to find some friends with 'mutual interests' to go out with. I might be able the make better plans for myself if this whole thing wasn't so inherently irrational.

[I Am Paula]

I was going to post about personal evolution, how the destination is in sight, and how well I'm adapting to my new environment. Then I read Alice Torn's post.

[Gillian Gigs]

Life is a journey, so the destination would be to find out what is beyond deaths door. My thoughts on what it is to succeed in this life has more to do with developing character, rather than the outer trappings of what you drag along with you.
Judith96a says it for me;
•No, I've no interest in surgery or permanent physical changes
•I don't feel like a woman trapped in a man's body
•My cross dressing might be slightly fetish-ish
•It certainly is a stress reliever.
If you look at it from the journey point of view, does it make any difference what kind of car you use on your journey. Does the color of the car, or the upholstery really make that much of a difference during the journey. Ok, maybe the guys will give you a difficult time because the car is bright pink, and the interior is kind of girly, so tint the windows and just keep moving. Life shouldn't be about the destination, though you need to be prepared when you get there, but about how to enjoy the journey! PS, please don't drive over anyone in the process.

[rachaelsloane]

Erica,
Good question and one I discussed this past Saturday night while out with a friend.
Prior to going out, dressing was just something I did and was perfectly happy with.
Now that I've been going out for 2+ years, one can't put the Jeannie back in the bottle,
I find I dress more, even while home and am still perfectly happy.
I'm not sure that I have a destination and like the Cnydi Lauper song "Girls just want to have fun"

[Debra Russell]

If it took me anywhere it would be amazing.............................Debra

[CynthiaD]

I seldom think beyond next week. The journey is the point. There is no destination.

[Suzanne F]

I do know that I am transgendered. It is more than clothes for me. I am very lucky to go out on a regular basis. I have friends from the forum and several other friends that know about Suzanne. I am working with a therapist and trying to find a path that works for both me and my wife. She has been great through this journey. I am trying to stay in the day and not go to what may happen in the future. After all today is all I have. I want to be honest, open and loving! I feel more of those things when I am out in the world as Suzanne.
Suzanne

[Steph_CD_62]

Can't say that I have a destination, and the path I am on keeps changing.

At one time I would have said my crossdressing was purely a sexual fetish.
Now it is a stress reliever and a way to relax.
I don't feel trapped in a man's body because I am a man.
I have not taken any steps on changing my physical appearance and have no desire to either.

[AllieSF]

As a few others have said life is a journey and the way I see it, death is the final destination. So, I try to take that into consideration as I live each day as if it may be my last, and I really am enjoying this journey.

[KayleeTaylor]

No destination here.
That sounds like finality.
I will just go on and let it take me where life is interesting.

I agree :)

[chrissy111]

I just enjoy the journey.

[Laura28]

I am not sure were it will lead or end, as long as i can remember i have enjoyed trying femme cloths and such, but the urge would come and go. For years it was not an issue never had the urge to dress although i would try on some of my wifes things from time to time but only try them on and take them off. Then about 10 years ago my wife and i started getting into it, mostly underdressing she enjoyed it and so did i, as time went on i shaved my legs she loved it and so did i, so every year as soon as i could get out of shorts i would shave my legs, then one day tried shaving the chest and underarms she liked it as much as i did. So that was another step forward. i only did it the winter still really only underdressing but had the urge to go further, then last summer i asked her if she would care if i kept my chest shaved she was all for it and i did the whole summer smooth on the chest, this year i know it will be no hair at all from now on, i have been lasering my body hair and it isnt coming back. lol no turning back now. ( i should say i have always had Gyno and when younger it bothered me now i love it and so does my wife, you might say i have become obsessed with growing them, i pump all the time and also purchased a 5 month supply of estrdoil from an overseas pharmacy, have taken a few but stopped not sure just how far i want to go, sometimes i want them a full C but i am not ready i guess to do that as or should i say society is not ready for me to walk around with a full chest. i love the beach and we go to nudist resorts a lot and with out hair they look very much like a womans breast ( i am a full B cup), Anyway for the last two years i have been going further and further, i have 5 pairs of heels numerous dresses and tops, drawers full of under things, a make up bag fully stocked, and thank fully my wife has helped me purchase or purchased herself these things for me. What i cant seem to understand is that my wife who embraces my crossdressing and has always supported it and encourges me, doesnt want to see me fully dressed, she is fine with under wear even make up but not dressed with a wig??? except in pictures i take, she enjoys seeing those??? i dont get it ??? We have been married for 31 years and she has known about it for over 35 years as i told her before we were married. I guess i would love it to progress to were she wants to see me and would take me out dressed, i would never go out on my own as i just dont feel i would pass well enough.

[dana digs sweaters]

Destination? ---- Trapped? Transgendered? ---- No
Physical changes? ---- No
Fetish? ---- No, not even during puberty or after
Stress relief? ---- I could see that/this as a form of escapism
The journey now is to just be enjoyed, as it has been with the magic of the transformation

[Emma 73]

Good question Erica, I don't feel that I am trapped in a mans body as I love doing my manly things. I ride MX and love hanging out with my mates working on old cars. Since I've found the other side of myself I find it a great stress relief and I think it maybe some what of a fetish.
As to where this will lead me I haven't worked that out yet.....

[julia marie]

Nope, no destination. I'd say one day at a time but work dictates that it's more like one weekend at a time. Like, where do I go and what do I where this weekend. That's fine in my case.

[Stephanie Morgan]

Destination........heck, I'm doing good to keep track of whose panties are whose around here...lol. But lets see, trapped in a man's body...nope; trying to change physically...nope; is it a fetish......yea mine is on some level........is it for stress relief....I don't think I ever intended it to be as such but as it turns out I find I am much more relaxed when i'm Stephanie. I wonder myself sometimes where I want to go with my CD'ing but haven't found any answers to that question yet. But hey, the journey has been pretty exciting so far!

[Shanine]

I honestly have no clue. I don't know if I am going to attempt Transition, or is this just a hobby like tying flies. I think the best course is to just ride it out, see where it carries me, because right now I feel like a ship without a rudder.

[Brooklyn]

I would like to take advantage of being this way to help some others and enjoy my life. Aside from that, how much control do we really have? :rose:

[mary something]

Nice point about control Ashley, it's funny that I spent some years of my life trying to control my expression and could manage not to crossdress but my desires were never something that I could control but only make myself miserable by living against my nature.

[sweetshauna]

just another journey in this great adventure we call life. though none of my planned destinations have come to pass, so far the adventure has been more than I could ask. At this point the destination is unknown, and I'm happy keeping it that way.
As far as my CDing goes, I think I have a repressed desire to be outted. the subject came up with my wife one night. ( that conversation is a whole topic itself. lol ) She told me she really didn't care if anyone knew. Since then i've thought how nice it would be to have the freedom to go about life dressed as I wish. Perhaps that is my desired destination.