What am I?

[carhill2mn]

There are people here who wonder where they fit in the list of "labels' that are frequently used to describe us. Often times they do not feel that they really fit into any of them.

For decades I have thought of myself as a crossdresser. It is true that I am a crossdresser in the sense that I wear clothes that are usually thought of as "belonging" to women.

However, the term "crossdresser" does not accurately describe me. Do you remember when you were young and playing with other children how you "pretended to be someone? Maybe it was a cowboy, cop, superhero, or maybe a dog. You knew that you really weren't this person or animal but you tried to act as if you were. I see myself as a "pretend woman". I know that I am not really a woman but I am pretending that I am!

Whenever I am en femme I do my best to look like a woman and act like a lady. In other words, I am pretending to be someone that, in reality, I am not. But, like the youngsters I referred to, I am enjoying myself immensely!

[Chari]

IMO your "label" should be a title that is comfortable, confident, and with a touch of class. Rather than labeling yourself as a "pretend woman", consider being a faux feminine.

[Nadine Spirit]

That is a great question. One that I have often pondered myself. Too bad that I don't have a great answer for you. I don't even have a good answer. Heck, I don't even have an answer at all. Anyone else have one?

[Zylia]

Well, do you feel like your cross-gender expression is a result of a (self-asigned) gender identity that doesn't really match your biological sex? If you want a noun (or rather an adjective) for yourself, 'transgender' is a pretty broad and safe one these days.

[Kate Simmons]

Or you could be a "reverse Victor/Victoria" like I am sometimes Hon. A man, pretending to be a woman, pretending to be a man. For myself it's mostly skill and showman(or woman)ship.:battingeyelashes::)

[Lucy_Bella]

I guess we never out grow our childhood when it comes to emulating, trouble is I never emulated a person of the opposite sex as a child .even tho I had these urges..I guess you could say as a child I innocently emulated me..So growing up back then ,for me ,there wasn't much of a choice ..You were born a male you will be raised as such or go through the extreme's of it being forced upon you..( I'll make a man of you yet if it's the last thing I do)..

But even so could you just be expressing something you never could have openly in those early years? Kind of a rebellion secretly with yourself ,something you've felt was always missing in your life.. Maybe it's different ( I know it is for me) than what it was as a child because then there was no attraction then puberty ruins it all ..Next thing you know you're a masculine male getting your fix by wearing women's under garments ...You sometimes wonder ,thinking back, if things would have been different if you just allowed yourself to have shamelessly gone through the process as a child and how different things may have turned out..

[kimdl93]

Kids try on a variety of roles, sometime utterly fanciful...like princess or pirate...others that are potentially possible. It's part of the process of developing our sense of self and finding roles that 'fit', As adults, I suppose as CDrs we are still trying out what's possible, pushing the boundaries to see if being a woman fits...regardless of our birth gender. Those first tentative attempts, the crude make up, the wardrobe failures were, for me at least, a chance to try try out the role I'd imagined for so long. And if outfit it for rather well. I have progressed from pretending to living much of my life as a woman. It no longer feels like an act.

[Rachelakld]

My label,
husband, father, builder, plumber, electrician, mechanic, mum, medic, cook, fashion designer and consultant, Cross dresser, marksman, navigator, pilot......

OH - found it - full time financial sponsor of teenagers.

The label I actually want - Tourist

[Rachael Leigh]

I know when I was younger I seem to be drawn to girl things but I was comfortable with being a boy, the girls clothes were just prettier and I always wanted to wear them but had very few chances. It wasn't till much later in life where I actually dressed. I was never fully comfortable dressing but could never shake my love of the clothes. So what am I? I'm a man I accept that but I like feeling pretty sometimes and when I dress I do feel more girly so I guess I'm cross gendered how's that.

[docrobbysherry]

As someone who grew up with NO gender issues until age 50, I believe I know EXACTLY what you're feeling, Carole!

Which is why I enjoy having Sherry play as many fem characters as possible. Because it's too much fun and by now, I'm fairly certain none of them r really me!

[Rachel2000]

I thought I knew, and then I suffered a stroke last year. I haven't dressed since before it happened and to be honest I really haven't had the slightest desire to since. Might have something to do with the brain "rewiring" itself after having a stroke - I just know that "its" gone and so is that constant tug-o-war that always tormented my head.

[Lynn Marie]

Good post Carole. I've always liked the term crossdresser to describe who I am and what I do. Like any other label, it only touches on what I am. It's sort of like if I say I'm an electrician, you immediately know that I work with wires and electrical devices but you really only know the barest minimum of what I have to know and do. Electrical apprentice training takes years!

I'm a crossdresser, to know more about me you'll have to ask. If you really want to know, I'll open my heart to you.

[Beverley Sims]

If I want to know who I am I do the asme as the customs at the border do.
I look at my passport. :)
The only labels I have are on my bags.

[Denise69]

You are you... there are no others exactly like you. Be the best you, you can be!

[AmyGaleRT]

You are a lot like me, Carole. The difference lies only in our attitudes towards our dressing. You dress to create a pleasing feminine image, because it pleases you to do so, while I do the same thing, but because I feel it's expressing part of my own soul. Both are valid, and the end result is hopefully the same: a pair of fine, respectable ladies.

Do you really need a label? You are Carole; that's the most important label of all.

- Amy

[LilSissyStevie]

If you really want a label, how about femulator?

[Confucius]

You are who you are. No one is youier than you. So do what you want, and say what you think. The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind.

[carhill2mn]

Thanks to all who have replied to this post. It is amazing to read all of the variations. Personally, I am not that concerned about what "label" fits me (I know what I think I am). I just thought it would be fun to see what others think.

[Amy Hepker]

I hate labels, I am a Female trapped in a Male Body, other wise known as a person

[EmilyPith]

If you really want a label, how about femulator?

Love it! Femulator. Gonna use that one for sure!

[EarringGirl]

I'm a screenwriter. Everything else is just a collection of ingredients that make me that person; those ingredients inform my world view which then informs my writing. It's all a tad Ouroboros-ian.

I think labels are best used when applied to oneself, and not when applied by others.

[donnalee]

The only true statement I can make is that I am me, but this is useless in trying to convey to someone what that entails. All descriptions are inherently flawed and inaccurate; I can choose or not to offer them; it is nobody's business but my own.