I hate the term "crossdresser"

[alisa63]

While yes, I have male genitalia and prefer to wear clothing that society typically associates with GG's but I am beginning to resent the term "crossdresser." Part of it may be that I don't like being labeled, but I think it's more that the term has a negative connotation. I just like to wear what feels right, whether it was designed for one sex or the other. Guys wearing guys clothes aren't called "straight dressers" so why should I/we be labeled for what feels right to me as an individual?

Sort of just venting, but hopefully this makes some resemblance of sense.

[vallerie lacy]

It certainly does, guy in panties.

[Toni Citara]

the term I hate more than crossdresser is when they use the word transvestite.

[tylia]

I have always hated the term "crossdresser". I kinda like T girl.

[Jaylyn]

I will be glad when all the clothes are exactly alike for women and men. Just so they are more feminine than manly. I really don't mind the term cross dresser but your right we are all human dressers. I could go for just clothes that every one wore.

[Zylia]

It serves its purpose as a word to describe yet another range of individuals who have something in common. The term itself is a bit of a misnomer for many. The word definitely has a negative connotation, but it's not the word itself as much as the thing it describes that has something of an image problem.


I will be glad when all the clothes are exactly alike for women and men.
I'm always a bit puzzled by these kinds of statements. I can't speak for everyone, but many cross-dressers wear clothing made for the opposite sex because it is clothing made for the opposite sex.

[Abbey11]

I to dislike the label crossdresser, as far as I am concerned I'm dressing

[Dana M]

Hi Alisa,

I understand the whole not liking labels thing. I was surprised before I joined here that they consider CD as being transgender. Like most people I associated that term with transexuals. but if i need a label transgender works and CD not bad. Don't like the term transvestite though.

[Ms. Laura]

Yeah, I'm kind of with you. It has a deviant behavior connotation, but no sense in getting too wrapped up in it. It's just a word to describe what we DO rather than what we ARE maybe? I like being described as being on the TG spectrum.

[Dianne S]

I don't mind it. I prefer it to "transvestite" and let's face it: It's accurate and it's more precise than "transgender" which covers everything from CDers to TSes.

People's brains are wired to categorize and label. We just have to live with that fact.

[Rachael Leigh]

I don't really mind the word but understand those who do, I just like the clothes and also wish it didn't matter if I dressed what some would consider fem, look I'm a guy and I accept that but just love the cute clothes.

[Karren H]

I actually like the term.... simple and descriptive.... way better than Effing Pervert! lol.

[Ms. Laura]

Do you get that a lot Karen? RE: ZIP TIES

[MikeRamsey]

i prefered to be called a sissy boy :)

[Karren H]

Do you get that a lot Karen? RE: ZIP TIES

lol. only on electrical forums!


i prefered to be called a sissy boy :)

So much better!

[~Joanne~]

I have a love/hate for the term crossdresser. In a perfect world though we would have the same freedoms that women have when it comes to shopping for clothes and which section we shop for them in. Unfortunately, that world doesn't exist. I think that is my biggest pev sort to speak......Women can wear men's clothing and not a word is said, switch it around and here comes all the label's.

Like Toni though, I dislike transvestite a bit more. I am a CD, nothing more.

[AndreaCalifCD]

My own (private) term is dress(ing) up. Mostly because I am dressed UP when "CDing" - especially as male mode is always shorts and a T-shirt. Even my wife calls its just "dressing" or "dressed". I don't particularly care for Trans(vestite) for myself, as I don't feel trans(gendered), and it seems to confuse the average member of the general public. However, as some people probably feel thats applicable to them, the best way forward is probably education on what a wide divergent group we are?

[JustMee]

Transvestite sounds so clinical, like you need a shot of something powerful to clear it up.
Crossdressing is a term that I don't mind, however I don't like being referred to as a "crossdresser" as it seems to be such a limiting description for the multi-faceted people we are. If you insist on a one word description, you can call me FABULOUS! :)

[ArleneRaquel]

The term "crossdressing" is OK with me. I certainly prefer it over the hideous "transvestite', I would love to be called lady, at all times.

[Tracii G]

Sissy boy is worse than crossdresser or transvestite IMO so if someone calls me one the game is on.
I wear what I want and it just happens to be clothes that a female would wear.

[Rachelakld]

If you don't want to own a label, then don't own it.
Last week I was called a tranny, didn't own it, totally missed who I am.
The story develops past name calling and they nearly ended up on the wrong side of a fight, but I'm trying to be lady like :)

[Nadine Spirit]

Personally I have never minded referring to myself as a cross dresser or transvestite. I am somewhat partial to Eddie Izzard's use of executive transvestite.

But now that I am reaching out to the general public more and I see the negative connotations that either of these terms brings with them, especially the sexual fetishist impressions that people think, I am beginning to dislike them.

Lately, more and more I like the label Nadine. I am who I am, and the clothes I wear are mine. I bought them, so they are my clothes.

[sometimes_miss]

I will be glad when all the clothes are exactly alike for women and men. Just so they are more feminine than manly. I really don't mind the term cross dresser but your right we are all human dressers. I could go for just clothes that every one wore.

Ohhh, you're going to get the first part of your wish. But unfortunately it's going in the opposite direction; work gear is becoming such that it hides the sex of the worker more than shows it. As more women get into the workforce, they'd rather discard the extra work of trying to look sexy. Example; even in hospitals, where there used to be lots of beautiful women in white dresses that were cut to emphasize the female curves, now virtually all of them wear loose fitting, plain, scrubs. And, they cut their beautiful long hair off because it gets in the way of their work in sterile areas. Rats. And women in the traditional men's trades such as mechanics, plumbers, electricians, etc., all go to extra trouble to AVOID any sexual attraction, and prefer to wear androgenous male type clothing. And it's not going to get any better.

[Judith96a]

I actually like the term.... simple and descriptive.... way better than Effing Pervert! lol.

Yes, that!

[jenni_xx]

Alisa, I completely see where you are coming from. And agree with you. Actually, in my case, it's not so much the term "crossdresser" that bothers me, more the word transvestite. But the connotation is the same. And the question you ask "why should you be labelled" is one that I've often wondered about myself. To provide another context, I'm a gay man. I had to come out as gay. Yet no one has to "come out" as straight. That's just a given. So while straight people do have a label (i.e. straight, heterosexual, or some not so liberal places in the world, "normal"), they are rarely referred to by such a label. For such an identification is merely automatically assumed.

It's only when people deviate away from what is assumed that the label ascribed to them (as a description, in order to categorise) becomes more prominent. And I, personally, hate that. I've been introduced to people, by friends (who have meant no harm), as "this is Steve, he's gay". I've never yet met a person who has been introduced to me as "this is (insert name), (s)he's straight. So even by the very nature of introductions, sexuality becomes a focal point, a point of address, a point of identification. A primary identification.

It simply bugs me. Yes, I am gay. Yes I am a crossdresser. I've had more conversations than I care to remember that have included people saying to me "you're a crossdresser?!!!!, ah, you're gay, that explains it then". Well, no, actually, it doesn't explain it at all. The chances of coming across a gay person who is a crossdresser are, I would imagine, pretty much the same as the chances of coming across a straight person who is a crossdresser.

[Debra Russell]

I am a "happydresser" :):battingeyelashes:...................Debra

[Barbara Dugan]

I prefer ''Gay Transvestite'' than crossdresser for myself because it sounds more cool...I really don't care about connotation

[Lacyfem]

The name "crossdresser" works for me. It's just a word!

[Gillian Gigs]

I actually like the term.... simple and descriptive.... way better than Effing Pervert! lol.

Yes, I could think of many names that are way worse. I do agree that many words do not have the kind of connotation that paint us in a good light. So, I guess we will have to continue to "dress with style" and do our best to keep a low profile.

[Deedee Skyblue]

I always preferred tv, myself.

Deedee(tv)

[Aly Cat]

I have always hated the terms crossdressing and transvestite because they have such negative connotations associated and they just shout out taboo. I prefer the term Crossover which is the term I came up with for my gender blending fashion page on Polyvore. It describes blending lines but doesnt have such a negative tone to it.
The actual definition means:
1. a point or place of crossing from one side to the other.
2. the process of achieving success in a different field or style

However, it cant really be used to describe a person so much as a style. Like, I cant say...Yeah, Im a crossover...well, I guess you can. Personally, I would just say that I have adopted the Crossover style and leave it at that. Let people make of it what they may.

Thats my :2c:

[Stephanie47]

I understand why someone may not like the term. Definitions and connotations change over the years. Being called a "cross dresser" now does not bother me at all. Being labeled a "cross dresser" in the 1950's, 1960's and even 1970's would have bothered me. Back then it meant I was something I was not. Back then if you were gay you hid in the closet. If you were a cross dresser you hid in the closet in the basement.

[Lynn Marie]

I like the term "Crossdresser" just fine. About the least offensive term for me and what I do that I can think of. T-girl is okay too. I love labels. They make communicating so much easier.

I like people who hate labels. It's fun to watch them try to describe stuff without using them!

[Eryn]

"Crossdresser" is fine within our community, where we understand what it means. Outside of our community I prefer the umbrella term "trangendered" since the media often trivializes the word "crossdresser."

[Girly Sara]

the term I hate more than crossdresser is when they use the word transvestite.

I agree! Hate the word!

Sara x

[VeronicaMoonlit]

The word crossdresser was created by a crossdresser (Virginia Prince) to replace transvestite, because of the connotations of the latter. "Crossdresser" still has far far fewer negative connotations.

Veronica

[Jaymees22]

I don't hate the term and how would we have found this place without it? I also like it better than transvestite just because it's easier to spell!

[sweetshauna]

i prefered to be called a sissy boy :)

Me too! When im dressed in women's clothing, I am dressing across that male/female threshold. Crossdresser fits the act to a "T" (pun not intended).
But like mike, I like "Sissyboy"

[Lucy_Bella]

Guys wearing guys clothes aren't called "straight dressers" so why should I/we be labeled for what feels right to me as an individual?

Nothing wrong with "ranting" Guy's wearing feminine clothing aren't always called "straight dressers" either..I don't mind the word cross dresser and I understand your rant because on the other side of the spectrum there are some who don't like to be called "trans gender"...But I am use to it ,call me what you want ..

[JennyLynn]

Personally, I don't care what term is applied to me. If I had a choice, it would be "complete human". We all, even if we refuse to admit it, have both feminine and masculine attributes. Some choose to repress the opposite role into which they were born, while others embrace both roles to which they are naturally inclined. Thousands of years of history and genetics have assigned roles to men and women, which in olden times, were somewhat necessary to compliment each other. Men, being bigger and stonger, hunted and gathered. Women, being smaller and child bearing, were inclined to be passive and caring. The days of old, not being so applicable today, have blurred the "man-woman" lines and allow us "complete humans" to explore both sides of our identities. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or bad. But, we have basically evolved to a point where gender compliance is not as important or necessary as it once was. Geesh...am I babbling or what??? :) Too sum it up, I like femme regardless of the plumbing!

[KateSpade83]

I would prefer / admit to being called a straight crossdresser but I hate being lumped into the GAY term!

[CarlaWestin]

I really don't give a rat's ass what you call it. Benefit of age. But, when someone calls me ma'am, I love it!

[KaceyR]

While I'm new at it..to a certain extent I don't particularly care what I'm called.
Technically I've probably always known of having a "sissy side" since grade school.
So it doesn't really matter to me. Call me what you like..just don't call me late
for dinner..

It's just automatic as humans to have a need to "label" everything..
But really, it comes down to whatever term is used will probably not never really
be as understood by a majority of the general populace.
Although with more recent popularizing of LBGT issues, terminology has
acquired a lot more publication. But then it comes down to the fact that
"if it doesn't directly apply to me so I ignore it" by the reader/viewer of
the info.
So it's slow for true "understanding" of all meanings to spread anyways.
The more people "experience" an alternative life (as in even actually
meeting a CDer, and not just doing CD), then they themselves would
maybe be able to learn and keep track of the differences. But because
it's a quantity underdog, it's ignorable as an "info I should know" item
and thus spreads slowly.

2-3 Years back, I technically didn't know about the specifications of all the
various "Trans-es" out there. Knew about LBG side (again, thanks to knowing
LG people/coworkers). Turned out at work we had one employee
go thru a full transition, gender changed and all. An email was sent out by
HR to everyone to help bring understanding and to make it all known
and easier for the girl.
With all the legalese in that note, it was probably the first time I realized
the specifics of all of that. Both in identification, and also of what was
supported by the company (and their laywers).

With CD having a bit more of a "hidden" aspect (e.g. the CDer that doesn't
go out, or the CDer that only does it when wife's not around, etc) it's just
not something that gets well known and understood by general populace
and will probably always be a bit more of a hassle by CDers to have
to explain themselves.

[JennyLynn]

Kudos Carla! Quick, sincere and to the point!

[Jessica1983]

dont think it matters what u call it most people think were gay typical sterotype even my wife said r u gay when i told her about the cding

[NicoleScott]

While yes, I have male genitalia and prefer to wear clothing that society typically associates with GG's but I am beginning to resent the term "crossdresser."

Alisa, your description of yourself pretty much agrees with Webster's description of crossdresser, so maybe you complaint should be directed to the dictionary folks.
Instead, you compain to members of a site with crossdresser in its name. No, your vent does not make sense.

[JennyLynn]

More to the point and title of your thread... I try not to "hate" but work more to understand.

[MarissaSynth]

I love the term I love doing it I love being called one by my wife its a life of fun for me sorry you feel that way.

[Kate Simmons]

I've never really been a fan of labels per se. On the other hand, I say if the label "fits" wear it and embrace who we are. Works for me Hon. :battingeyelashes::)

[Beverley Sims]

Cross dresser suits me, because it does give me angst on occasions.
Especially when I ladder a new pair of stockings. :)

[GenderCurious Andrea]

Well the term cross dresser explains an action witch one does, which is literally accurate. But if I take a picture with my camera phone does that make me a photographer. I personally like the term transgender simply because the prefix (Trans) comes from the Latin word transcend witch by definition means to rise above or go beyond. To me sexuality is not a limitation but an invitation to exceed the standard of social dogma. My sexuality has limits but I haven't discovered them yet...

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Alisa, I like the term Crossdresser it has a softer feminine tone for me ,
I don't care at all for the term Transvestite.

[KayleeTaylor]

The term crossdresser fits for who we are, it's up to us to re-define the negative meaning that society has given to it. :)

[linda allen]

You can call yourself whatever you want to, but other people will call you what they think you are. If you are a man who wears women's clothes, "crossdresser" is one of the nicest things they will call you. Learn to live with it.

[alisa63]

Alisa, your description of yourself pretty much agrees with Webster's description of crossdresser, so maybe you complaint should be directed to the dictionary folks.
Instead, you compain to members of a site with crossdresser in its name. No, your vent does not make sense.

Ummmm...yeah I am well aware that I meet the definition of a crossdreser. That's kinda the entire point of my thread. Also, I wasn't trying to complain, rather share my thoughts on a topic to see if others who potentially fit this definition feel the same.

[Karen kc]

I is what I is= c r o s s d r e s s e r and Im good with it!

[Shanine]

I suppose I don't mind crossdresser that much. I cant stand sissy or gurl, or even worse sissygurl. Other than that, I'm pretty easy.

[franlee]

This is amusing, how many of you stopped to think about where we are discussing this? I do see where crossdresser is simplified and doesn't describe all the add-ons and alternatives. But that is subject for individual debate as to offensive or distasteful. Personally this is a accurate title for me and both male or female people that wear any articles of clothing society identifies for the opposite gender/sex. Political Correctness is not high on my requirements to communicate as long the terminology is truthful. I can't see where sexual orientation and/or preference is needed until the subject becomes relevant to the participants involved in an interaction or story line for others to understand.

[Allison Quinn]

I hate the term.
Since I identify more along the lines of trans when it comes up I just tell people i'm trans it has got less shock it seems :P

[Krystalina]

Ohhh, you're going to get the first part of your wish. But unfortunately it's going in the opposite direction; work gear is becoming such that it hides the sex of the worker more than shows it. As more women get into the workforce, they'd rather discard the extra work of trying to look sexy. Example; even in hospitals, where there used to be lots of beautiful women in white dresses that were cut to emphasize the female curves, now virtually all of them wear loose fitting, plain, scrubs. And, they cut their beautiful long hair off because it gets in the way of their work in sterile areas. Rats. And women in the traditional men's trades such as mechanics, plumbers, electricians, etc., all go to extra trouble to AVOID any sexual attraction, and prefer to wear androgenous male type clothing. And it's not going to get any better.

As an African-American living in and growing up in the inner-city areas, I saw/seen this more with "civilian" clothing on women than anything to do with the work place, and it usually makes me cringe. Like the insistance on wearing very mascaline namebrand shoes like Jordans(100 dollars for those ugly shoes? Ugh!) as oppose to the myraid of shoes women could wear.

I've even seen many of them wearing their pants baggy and sagging *sigh*, while I'm trying to work up the courage to buy and wear skinny jeans!

Never been a fan of labels, especially now. I'm me. Just me.

[kimdl93]

a rose by any other name.... honestly, its an apt descriptive term for a GM who elects to wear GG attire. If anyone reads more into it than that, they're at risk of overgeneralizing. For example, many CDrs don't like the notion that they are presumed to be transgendered or transsexual. Other CDrs, myself included, see CD as an acceptable label, but acknowledge that transgendered fits as well. If I were transsexual I would probably be more offended, because I would feel that wearing women's clothes simply an accurate reflection of my gender.

[Desirae]

I don't mind the phrase cross dresser. Like many words or phrases in the English language, it can take on a negative connotation depending on who is using the word, or who is addressing someone with the word, or what the situation is when the word is being used.

On another "CD" forum, of which I was a member a long time ago, I distinctly remember a "sticky", or something like it, wherein the terminology used in the transgender community was defined. There was a distinction made between the words (phrase) cross dresser and the word transvestite. The distinction made was that transvestite had the additional aspect of "for sexual gratification" while cross dresser did not. The "wearing of clothing normally associated with the opposite gender" was the same for both. I came across that distinction on a few other websites, the names of which escape me right now.

I don't know if its taboo here or not (forgive me if it is), but I haven't seen anyone mention the word she*ale. I think that term has a connotation all its own and is one that most of us, IMHO, find more offensive than cross dresser.

[Asche]

I'm less concerned with the term used to describe me than the assumptions people make based on the term. Particularly on-line, and particularly here, I find people presuming to know more about my inner life than I do, based solely on a brief description of how I dress.

Generally, I don't label myself. I let people meet me and see how I dress, and take it from there. Most of the time they aren't all that interested in the backstory, anyway. If I have to describe myself, I say I'm a guy who likes to wear skirts and dresses.

[linda allen]

You realize, I hope, that you logged onto "crossdressers.com".

[Majella St Gerard]

I got no problem with the term cross dresser, that is how I would describe myself, it's simple and to the point. If you have to use a label then I think that is a good one, for me anyway.

[julia marie]

Too much focus on labels in general, not just with "cross dresser". If people want a label that's fine. I've given up. Crossdresser, TV, TG, TS, straight, gay, bi, whatever. I haven't pinned down myself, and I'm not sure where I fit. Not going to worry about it. Enjoy life.

[thechic]

I don't mind the use of the word crossdresser as it does narrow the group down from transgender which is too broad ,but if ever someone calls me a crossdresser as Im not a crossdresser ,I would definitely through my toys out of the basket. hate the word transvestite.