Wife found my stash

[Glenda58]

Since the first of the year I have been buying sexy panties and bras. And I was putting them in my dresser under my tees. Will the wife did my wash one day and put away some my tees and saw the panties and some lipstick. When I came home she confronted me and told me to get rid of them. I toss the lipstick right there and the next morning she went for her walk I started getting the things out of the house.
I had over 20 panties 7 bras 1 skirt and top a skort and top for golf and 2 skorts and tees for exercising. So I got 3 bags put some panties in it I did like and gave them to her. The second bag I went into the closet and some of my man shirts that I don't wear and put them on the bottom I put a skort a tee and shorts that were XS that I could not wear and took it to good will. The third bag I put everything else in it and put it in a suit case in the basement. On the way to good will I pass my wife walking and showed her bag.
When got home I gave the panties she said I had good taste in cloths.

Later I was thinking about what I had bought this year. 3 pair of high heels 1 floral dress 1 skirt cami and top and a dressy skirt and top in gold 20 tees and tanks tops 1 pair of skinny jeans size 2.

My wife knows that I was CD before we married and doesn't want to dress up. But most of my cloths are female. I have no male underwear. All my jeans are women jeans most of all tees and tanks are womens.

I love my wife and I try not to dress but I love to shop and when I get a free offer from VS for a panty I go.

[~Joanne~]

Sounds like a pretty shitty deal to me. She knew you were CD before you married and thought that because of the marriage that you would change? so now you run around with no under wear on? and She kept your nicer panties? sound to me like you and her need to sit down and have a real, nice, long conversation.

[Glenda58]

No she knows I won't change. I have cotton bikini panties and yes she kept the sexy ones but I still have some just can't wear them all the time.

[~Joanne~]

So basically you have a DADT relationship and when she comes across your things, she makes you throw them away even though she knew from the off set that you are a CD and it won't change. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that SHE KNEW and it sounds like she hasn't done any background as to what that meant to you as a person BEFORE she married you.

I can see this sort of reaction if the sister didn't tell their SO before they got married or too far into the relationship, but your marriage leaves me perplexed. It's not like she shouldn't have expected to find those things. I still say you two should have a long truthful talk about all of this because it sounds like your going to have troubled waters ahead.

[SherriePall]

Or was it a case of too much? I, too, have a habit of buying more things than I can ever wear anywhere, but for a few minutes in the house or a couple of times a year out. I have to twist my wife's arm to buy any clothes for herself.

[Glenda58]

We're good friends we love doing things together. We shop together and she knows I'm looking at cloths for me because she doesn't wear skirts or dresses or heels. And she knows that I will keep buying things. We have talked this out before we got married and at 66 she said she'll live with it.

[CarlaWestin]

All I can say is, you can wear jeans size 2? Not fair!

[Jenniferathome]

How can she find your stash when she knows you cross dress and you only wear women's underwear? I'm not following.

[Glenda58]

All I can say is, you can wear jeans size 2? Not fair!
And womens jeans do feel diffirent than mens they're a lot softer.

[Maria 60]

I think you should sit with her and try to find a happy medium were both of you can win, and show her who wears the pants in that relationship, or who where's the skirt. You know what I mean.LOL.

[Chari]

It appears that you have given up quite a lot of feminine attire - which will probably be replaced very soon with "new" items., but how much has she given up? Although you state "you are good friends and love to do things together", you both need to communicate, set boundaries, and respect each others privacy! Your feminine feelings & needs will never go away, and may grow stronger- no matter how many times she demands "you get rid of your feminine things"! IMO it sounds like a give and take relationship - you give (up) & she takes (control).

[Heather-Hill]

Oh how I feel for you, I too cannot resist a bargain when I see it. I live in uk and cannot pass a Matalan store without a bag in my hand. This is my very first attempt at communicating on the forum and plan to put a full account of myself very soon. Good luck, my wife is very very slowly coming to terms with it but the emphasis is on slowly, she has just given me some of her duplicated makeup and jewellery . Progress can be slow but worth the wait.
Hugs Heather

[linda allen]

Seriously, how long did you think you could get away with "hiding" bras in your dresser drawer? I suspect you somehow wanted to get caught.

It's time for you and your wife to have a talk about your desire to crossdress. Keeping secrets from a spouse seldom works and hiding things in such obvious places almost never works.

[Beverley Sims]

The best place to hide clothes is certainly not in your drawer.
Keep them out of sight for now and work on your wife slowly so as she may eventually accept what you do.
Drop the deceit also.

[MsRenee]

If she knew at rhe onset of your relationship rhen there shouldnt have been any suprise on her side.
I dont understand why you had to hid your things if she knew.
Something just doesnt seem right to me.
All I can do is wish you both good luck and hopecully you xan both come to sme sort of agreement.
Renee

[sweetshauna]

WOW! That sux!
She knew, she shoulda come to terms with it. If she couldn't she should've told you at the beginning.
Sounds like a good talk is in order.
I wish you the best of luck.

P.S. Don't throw anymore away. So wasteful and expensive.

[KateSpade83]

I can't marry a woman who won't accept my crossdressing, as I have probably $50,000 in women's clothes!
!

[Wendi_cd]

Jeez, and I have a whole room just for my stuff!
There are hooks on the doorl and I will often hang up my outfit of choice on them. My wife will sometimes change the top or bottom for what she thinks matches best (my fashion sense in nil).

Honestly I can't even fathom trying to hide something like this from my spouse. You might as well try to hide that you like Selena Gomez and Greys Anatomy!

I don't really know how I would react if my wife ever said stop, throw it all away, because I know it wouldn't be possible for me to do so, I've tried.

[Glenda58]

She knows I didn't get rid of everything. She's not looking but knows some things are still here she just doesn't want to know about them. She can't get her around the fact that I like to dress in womens cloths. She tells me my the best man she has ever been with and I treat her great and give her anything she wants.

We have had our talks about this before we got married and she was OK with it but didn't want to see me dressed up. I think she knows I dress up when she's not home because she always calls before coming back home if she has been gone for awhile.

This is my third wife and the first 2 didn't like it either.

[stefan37]

I am confused.

[vallerie lacy]

Do yourself a big favor, and sit down and talk with her. It sounds like if you do not communicate with her concerning your dressing, you will be looking for #4.

[kimdl93]

I'm a bit confused. If you wife knew before you married, and if you have no male underwear, why was it necessary or even remotely appropriate for her to suggest that you discard clothing she never sees outside a dresser drawer?

[jules]

I'm a little confused also.
My wife finds my clothes kicking around the house and get miffed because she don't want our son to see it.
She knows about my wig and makup. ( our son is 22 pops by unannounced)
But she never makes me throw it out. She has acceped that part of me and know it will never go away.
So again I'm so confused with you situation ?

Julie S

[Tracii G]

Confused here as well.

[Glenda58]

I'm confuse to. She knows I dress up but doesn't want to see my things. But yesterday after giving her some of my panties she goes into her closet and gives me 3 of her things she doesn't wear a sweat shirt with a silver zipper and chain on it 2 long sleeve tees that are in female colors. She sees the tees and tanks I have and they all female colors but she not upset with them. only the fancy ones with lace and satin.

[Stephanie47]

I'm not confused at all. Many women marry a guy with knowledge of all his "faults,' but figure she can change him. On the slip side how many on this forum thought marrying a woman would 'cure' him of cross dressing? I think you did your homework by telling her prior to marriage you cross dress. That was sensible after two failed marriages.

You need to have a sit down and discuss the issue.

[Glenda58]

I'm not confused at all. Many women marry a guy with knowledge of all his "faults,' but figure she can change him. On the slip side how many on this forum thought marrying a woman would 'cure' him of cross dressing? I think you did your homework by telling her prior to marriage you cross dress. That was sensible after two failed marriages.

You need to have a sit down and discuss the issue.
Only one failed the other passed away and made me promise to tell anyone that I was serious with about Cding.

[sometimes_miss]

And womens jeans do feel diffirent than mens they're a lot softer.

Only if you make them that way. Or you buy specially pre worn out jeans. GF buys new jeans and if you don't put softener in the washer or dryer, they come out like boards.

[docrobbysherry]

She knew before u got married u dressed. And, it's ok with her as long as she doesn't see u?

U go shopping together and look at fem CLOTHES items that she doesn't wear. But, she doesn't approve of u owning those things?

She knows u have fem clothing and that's ok unless they r frilly or fancy? Maybe she means "sexy"?

U don't need help from us, Glenda, but from HER! Find out exactly what she wants, what she expects, and what she can't live with. Then, u tell her the same from your side. U need to understand each other a lot better! Then, come to a reasonable compromise. "Compromise" means EACH party gives up something to get along. That's how marriages/partnerships work. When one dictates to the other what the rules r, it's NOT a partnership anymore!

[Wendi_cd]

only the fancy ones with lace and satin.

Almost sounds like she is ok with you dressing, as long as you don't wear nicer clothes than she does...