Where I am right now in life

[Billiejosehine]

Hi everybody,
I writing this post to share my feeling and experiences for the first time. To begin with i am a pretty private person, due to shame and guilt. Since I was 15 I had been pretty content in doing things in private and no one knew. We'll at the beginning of the year, my marriage was not doing so well. This caused me to have a mental breakdown (already deal with anxiety and depression). I left to my fathers house to take a break and seek help. It was during that time when my step mom read my journal without permission; forced me to tell my dad, and told a lot of people in my family; including my wife and mother. My dad and step mom are not accepting, my mother is very accepting, and while my wife does not condone me for what I want to do; she feels that if that is what I choose we can't be together and I can figure things out on my own. Since doesn't want to deal with it. In fact she has ask if I wanted or have been with a guy and tells me that these feelings I have put a wedge between us when it comes to intimacy. She has also says she can't trust me with our children. While I love my wife and can't imagine loosing her, I know what I really want to do for myself. I have tried to keep my feelings under control and have purged several times, but the feelings come back stronger then before. I just take the next in faith.

[Nadine Spirit]

Sorry to read of your troubles. It sounds as if things have been pretty rough. That is too bad.

Much of your story is quite familiar to many of us. Especially the purging and the shame and the guilt.

I don't have anything else to say, except to let you know, you are not alone. Stay strong and hang in there. Best of luck.

[kimdl93]

nice to have meddling step parents, eh? Put your father and step mother's intolerance aside. Lets focus on your wife. She apparently has very little valid knowledge about CDing. The views she expressed reflect little other than prejudice and misinformation. If you want to try and have a relationship with her, it will require that she learn a great deal about what CDing is and is not. And in particular she needs to get over this absurd notion that CDrs in any respect are a danger to children. Now, the questions that you need to ask are 1) will she go with you (or alone) to a competent counselor to learn the truth about CDing, and 2) is she open minded enough to absorb what she hears? You know better her than anyone else.

[Rachelakld]

??? what risk does a CD or transgender pose to their own or any other children except to probably be more empathic, caring and mothering?
Do they really need a dad to smack them, growl at them?
Your children are at more risk from "Men" with high testosterone and "celibate" men.
What she probably means is there is only room for 1 woman to love them as a mum and 2 loving, caring mums are not permitted.

Anyway that's my hissy fit.
There is often a cost involved which is also dependant on how far you need to take this

[sandra-leigh]

I would pretty much read your wife's response as "Crossdresser = Gay, Gay = Pedophile".

[Beverley Sims]

Things are obviously rough for you at the moment.
A mediator may help and advise you, but you do need to explain to your wife about the whole situation.
You are not necessarily a pedophile, pervert or deranged in any way.
You do not need to involve the children either, nor dress in front of them for that matter.
Try and keep the rest of the family out of it as they may help tear the relationship apart.
Ask your MD in the first instance for a suggestion of help