Sister, girlfriend, her, she, miss, ma'am, any other female pronoun...

[jenni_xx]

The time when a crossdresser "passes" 100% is the moment when no one realises that that person is a crossdresser.

When out and about, being referred to by others using a female pronoun towards ourselves is regarded to be a validation that we've either been accepted as a female, or judged as a female. And it's a nice situation to experience. The person who elicits such a comment either genuinely believes we are female, or is considerate enough to refer to us as such.

But the truth is that we're not female. And when it's the case that a crossdresser does pass and fool everyone around them in doing so, they no longer represent the "crossdressing community", for in regards of other people, they are not regarded as crossdressers because they have "fooled" those people into thinking that they are a woman.

So it's only the one's who don't pass, the one's who don't attempt to hide the fact that they are a man, while having the confidence to dress in clothes more suited to women, that are surely deserving of more respect. It's those that don't pass that make others aware of cd's, and it's how those who don't pass interact while out in public that are the one's who are able to address and counter the public's perception/understanding of what cd's are actually all about.

When I was younger, I had a build and a face that made it easy for me to pass. Now that I'm older, my build is slightly bigger, my face slightly more rugged. And it's only through time that I've been able to become more comfortable in my dressing, so much so that I no longer deem it necessary, or relevant, to pass as a woman while out in public. So what gets me through the day is my confidence. Confidence in wearing what I want, and wearing (owning) what it is I do wear. I like/prefer clothing that is regarded to be feminine. I justify that be saying that it's merely my own style - my choice in clothing.

So how do you justify it? Do you try to pass? Do you try to present yourself as a woman? Do you wish you were a woman? Or are you just happy, like I am, being yourself?

[Kate Simmons]

I honestly don't dress to "pass" Hon. I just want to look nice when I go out to the club to socialize and dance. I prefer to let others draw their own conclusions on what they see when I'm out there. Surprisingly, many tell me they thought I was a woman. Works for me. ;):)

[Cynthia Anne]

I always answer this by saying this! I would prefer to be one or the other! If I had a choice then I would be the other!
And yes I do try to pass but knowing that I don't always pass doesn't Affect me any more at all! I am what I am!

[Jenniferathome]

The time when a crossdresser "passes" 100% is the moment when no one realises that that person is a crossdresser.

When out and about, being referred to by others using a female pronoun towards ourselves is regarded to be a validation that we've either been accepted as a female, or judged as a female. And it's a nice situation to experience. The person who elicits such a comment either genuinely believes we are female, or is considerate enough to refer to us as such....

You forgot to mention that this cross dresser is riding their unicorn to fantasyland when they passed. Don't confuse passing with accepted. There are millions of cues that make men and women different. The idea that a cross dresser can navigate all of these and "fool" real women is so infinitesimally small that it can be discounted.

[AimeeG]

I definitely don't wear a button that says "Crossdresser - are you fooled?", but a lot of people tell me I do a good job of "passing". If no one "outs" you, did you pass/accepted? I tend to think more so that someone (over 24ish) doesn't want to embarrass themselves by being wrong. What was Pat (SNL character)? You'll never truly know unless you can read minds and if you could you will undoubtedly hear a lot of things you don't want to hear about everything. I definitely think confidence and determination go a long way. When I went grocery shopping yesterday I looked everyone in the eye and gave a smile. I don't want to know what they thought, I don't care! But it sure was fun seeing some confusion...and. I got some she's and ma'ams too, never hurts.

[Lucy_Bella]

So it's only the one's who don't pass, the one's who don't attempt to hide the fact that they are a man, while having the confidence to dress in clothes more suited to women, that are surely deserving of more respect. It's those that don't pass that make others aware of cd's, and it's how those who don't pass interact while out in public that are the one's who are able to address and counter the public's perception/understanding of what cd's are actually all about.

I get your point .. But I think those who do go out with confidence are not out to fool anybody.. They are only expressing themselves with no regret to damaging their gender at birth... I.E. they don't care what people think they don't find it important to protect their masculinity and they are not most certainly confused.. I do not go out I am a crossdresser and I represent no one but myself..I feel a need to protect my masculinity because I have IMO, zero urges to be a female ...

[Rachelakld]

I see lots of guys with beards, wearing dresses and skirts, most looking like they haven't washed in weeks, with worn out sneakers on their feet. Obviously not caring about passing but just being comfortable in themselves.
I also dress to be comfortable, which for me means shaving my stubble off and dressing nicely, makeup as well.
At home I don't wear my wig often and when talking to kids, mostly use my normal voice.

I'm in male mode now, so no I don't want to be a woman, but when dressed up, then yes I would love to be a woman (although I'm greatfull for the toned male skinbag - could easily be a worse bod) and yes I use the womens room when required.

[Beverley Sims]

I make an effort at all times to look like a woman.
I grew up like that and my outlook does not change.
When I look butt ugly in a dress, I will just have to get better makeup or take up another hobby.

Is there a stamp collectors blog on the net? :)

[Rachael Leigh]

Without a doubt I would love to be able to look so pretty that no one could tell, but I know that's not going to be the case unless I had a professional makeover and a real wig that looked good. So I am one who is trying to accept that and find the courage to dress and do my best to blend and do it with confidence. Hay I've already tried on a dress at dress barn en drab maybe someday I will go there enfem an do the same.

[Tracii G]

I'm comfy being me who cares if I pass or not?
Have I passed? I would love to think so, a few GG's have acted surprised when they did realize I wasn't a female.
Those times do feel like I have hit the mark in my presentation.Other times is a quick glance from a GG then a double take and wow you look awesome, at first I thought you we a female good job sister.
I enjoy being me plain and simple.Passing isn't all that important but showing confidence and poise is.

[kimdl93]

I try, within my considerable to present as a woman. I'm not often successful in that respect, but I at least hope others will recognize that my presentation reflects who I am.

[Jilmac]

Whenever I'm in the public arena, I always try to present myself as female. I'm not always successful at passing but in most cases (whether I'm read or not), I'm treated with courtesy and respect from others.

[docrobbysherry]

I have passed a few times the last 2 Halloweens. I can tell because guys, in particular, treated me differently and came on to me. Until I opened my mouth. Most, couldn't move away quick enuff!:eek:

The rest of the year? I have a mirror. I see what everyone else sees. A guy in a dress!:straightface:

I don't care if some trade person calls me; Miss, Lady, Mr, or Hey U!

We ALL know I'm not a female!:brolleyes:

[BiancaEstrella]

As long as I'm neat, clean, and presentable, passing is just icing on the cake. If I have the first three bases covered, at that point anyone who attempts to ridicule is doing it from a place of ignorance.

As far as what people call me, eh, I don't make a huge deal of it. Neither set of pronouns bothers me, I guess.

[Marcelle]

Hi Jenni,

Interesting thread. When I go out it is to express that side of me that I kept hidden for so long. While I might blend, I hold no illusions that I pass as close scrutiny examination will reveal the guy behind the make-up at all times. I can tell as people get that almost neuronal short circuit look when they interact. However, for the most part people pay me no attention in a busy mall or store because blending occurs (they process, small frame, long hair, girl clothes . . . girl). I have had people refer to me as she or ask myself and my GG friend "how can I help you ladies today" but that is them being graceful and kind. While it can be said I try to present as a woman when out and about, I do not wish to be a woman only me dressing in a manner which feels right.

Hugs

Isha

[KayleeTaylor]

When I dress, I do so to pass, but my larger frame and face will always prevent me from passing. So when I am enfemme, I usually stay home, but on occasion I do go out. While in drab, I show my feminine side as much as I think will be socially acceptable i.e. womens jeans, tight v-neck shirts or feminine-looking men's shirts, perfume, etc.

[Allison Quinn]

I want to pass as I should have been born female :P But seeing as I can't transition I hope I can be as comfortable being myself as you have gotten to be some day :)

[Stacy Lynn]

After many years growing up with this (I think I am a woman) It never hit me hard that I NEED to be female untill I told someone I like to dress as a girl, I felt so much better about myself. From that moment on I wanted to be female, YES, I am a women trapped in a mans body. My attitute changed, feelings I never had before came out and friends and family noticed I was different, talking, body launguage, facial expressions, etc. They said I seemed more calm, and happy. I live as female, I pass no matter what I wear. I LOVE being treated like a lady, people are just so much more nicer to woman. I hated being called Sir when I was younger, but I didnt know why. Growing up, I get just as excited going past Victoria Secrets to get to Home Depot for power tools. I am finding that I am WAY happier being female. The comfertible clothes, hair make-up, nice comments, etc....I hated the way I looked and felt as male, and I think since I have been transitioning, This is how I am suppose to be, my frame is small, my legs are toned, I am gratefull that I have a full head of hair, never had alot of face hair. etc....

As per your post, I rather live as a female, I do not try to pass, I just do, I am lucky I guess, and I spent a flong time perfecting it. I am taken for female unless I tell people I was a guy. If you are comfetible with yourself then go for it. BUT if you have a beard, thick eyebrows, cheap wig, where clothes that don't fit, or try to get into a teenagers mini skirt, heavy blue eyeshadow, red lipstick, red blush, get ready for the stares and comments. If you do this and expect to come off as female, it doesnt work.

**I was there, I did the it this was once, got all dolled up, thought I looked good, went to the mall, and got the laughs, stares, the OMG, called freak...and that was all within 20 minutes, I was so humiliated. I didnt go out in public again till I spent alot of time perfecting it** If you are trying to pass in public, Girls, Do your homework

Wearing womens clothes is one thing, being female is another. The crossdressers that do this because of inner feelings, do it better. they (we) spend alot of time learning the way, doing homework, from wig care, to make up, to body launguage, and walking is something that takes priority on crossdressers that are serious about presenting as female. It is an awesome feeling to be taken as female, I don't feel like I am fooling anyone, I just love being female, this is me. We can all pass as female, if it is done right.

[Candice Mae]

I just want to be comfortable with being my self in public and be accepted for who I am instead of what I am.

[Amanda22]

I've given up pressuring myself to "pass" and being dependent on total strangers to validate me. Having said that, I do everything I possibly can to appear as a woman and I get a thrill when I'm complimented on my appearance. After regularly presenting as a woman for three years, my experience is that virtually everyone recognizes I'm trying really hard and at least respect me for that, regardless of whether I've succeeded in "fooling them" or not. I do wish I was a woman, unlike many/most others here.

[carhill2mn]

I am one of those who tries to "pass" when I am out in public. My goal is to look like a woman, act like a lady and to be treated accordingly. To my knowledge based upon my experiences and what others have said, I have been succeeding.