What clues do you leave, what precautions do you take?

[Deedee Skyblue]

For those of us whose dressing isn't general knowledge, what kind of clues do you leave? What precautions do you take against discovery?

For example:

Clues... there is a folder on my hard drive with pictures of Deedee. I have an email account in the name of deedee.skyblue. I chat on Facebook with a couple GG friends who know, and I occasionally send them pictures, either through email or via facebook chat. I log on to crossdressers.com twice a day or more.

Precautions... that folder is buried deep in the hierarchy. Nobody would find it in a casual search. This forum is the only account I have on any websites in Deedee's name. I use a different browser for facebook and all my other browsing (including cds.com). I never ever connect to this forum on my work computer. My browsers are set to automatically delete cookies.

I know some of you are going to want to tell me how worthless all these precautions are - please don't bother. I know that it wouldn't take much of an effort to uncover a lot about me. Any precautions I take are precursory, and I'm aware of it. But if a house guest asks to use my computer, I don't worry about being exposed.

Others are going to say, stop hiding and then you don't need to worry about precautions. Again, please don't feel you have to. Everyone's situation is different and we all have to live our lives the best way we can - and not coming out is the best way for me. I KNOW it's not the best way for some of you, but there are others who follow a similar path to mine.

Hope you gurls all have a great Thanksgiving holiday!

Deedee :)

[Jenniferathome]

Deedee, heres the problem: regardless of your precautions, its the slip-ups you don't remember that bring down the house. Wives notice an item hanging in a slightly different place. Underwear folded differently, some lipstick they never bought ends up in a drawer. You can run, but you can not hide. It hits the fan eventually.

[~Joanne~]

I am out to my SO so I don't really have to hide anything at this point. She actually covers for the things that may be seen and has twice now already by saying it was hers. I put all my pictures on a 16 gb pen drive which is password protected. I do have a folder on my external that has the best of the best (if such a thing exists lol) but no one ever uses this PC but My SO or myself so I am not really worried about it. Other than this site, I don't exist any where else as my femme self ;)

[Kate Simmons]

I leave kind of a convoluted trail on my Internet experience, hiding in plain sight as it were. If NSA or anyone else wants to take pains to connect the dots they can find me but to what end? I used to be in Intel myself. Blackmail wouldn't work as I don't give two hoots, even though I don't shout from the roof tops I'm a CDer.That's on a "need to know" basis. So, let them "expose" me for all the good it does. If they want me to do something, the offer would have to be pretty exceptional. Even so, I'm loyal to the people of my country to the core and always will be. That's just the way it is. :battingeyelashes::)

[Maryesther M.]

Very fortunately my wife doesn't use computers at all, so everything in there is 'safe' for the time being. I keep all my femme clothes in my work premises, anticipating a dressing opportunity I will bring some stuff home in my estate car, which has a hidden boot space and which I keep firmly locked. The wife doesn't drive it, either.
My real problem is making sure everything is safely packed away again after a 'session', which is more difficult than it used to be, as I am chronically forgetful.

M.

[Nikki A.]

I'm not that paranoid, but I do have a separate email adress that I use for my cding activities. I don't have too many pictures and they are mostly on a memory card.
If someone can connect the dots, so be it. I'm almost at a point where retirement is in the future and my kids are now grown and will soon not be an issue. I'm out and about more often, and it's only a matter of time that it'll no longer be a secret.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Very fortunately my wife doesn't use computers at all, so everything in there is 'safe' for the time being. I keep all my femme clothes in my work premises, anticipating a dressing opportunity I will bring some stuff home in my estate car, which has a hidden boot space and which I keep firmly locked. The wife doesn't drive it, either.
My real problem is making sure everything is safely packed away again after a 'session', which is more difficult than it used to be, as I am chronically forgetful.

M.

I thought I was safe too, until a virus infected my computer and was beyond my ability to repair. So, I had to take it to a repair shop. All my files appeared to be deleted. It turned out that they were only hidden, so the biggest problem was exposing all the dark corners of my computer to a technician.

[Rachelakld]

Funny how wives notice something not quite put back correctly in the draws or closet, lipstick an inch to the left of where she puts it etc, they never say anything about it, god bless them for pretending not to know.

Last week Miss 15 told me I lied to her and she was disappointed by the lie, when she was younger by not sharing, I told her I had to wait until she understood sexuality and what not to tell even BFFs.
My clue for her was I "accidently" left my makeup bag out - It took 3 days before she looked inside and asked whos it was.

[Beverley Sims]

I use a dedicated computer to talk on the net and look at nefarious sites.
I am talking downloading music and you tube here.

[RenneB]

It cost me three 'extra' lap tops, one for the SO and one for each of the offspring. All the 'stuff' is saved down deep in the external slave drive. As for the comfy clothes, it cost me about 30 of those 18 gallon containers from the home depot store. My stuff goes in about 10 of them and are labeled discretely as stuff for me to sort, while the rest is clearly labeled as the contents xmas stuff etc...

Eventually, I found a job out of state and now have a house to myself. Yippiii....

Renne......

[Helen Grandeis]

Google Chrome - Incognito Browsing. Private browsing on my IPAD. Don't touch her stuff anymore after the first reveal. But I am not iron clad. I don't dress much.

[suchacutie]

Clues: trimmed-arched eyebrows, hairless ears (how many older guys don't have a forest in their ears?), great complexion (see previous paranthetical expression), femme jeans (although not gaudy), almost no white shirts with suits, great nails with matte finish polish, and lastly that I know too much!

Precautions: Not many pictures around, I keep my genders very separate except for the above, and any clothes that can't pass as my wife's are put away but not so far that someone determined wouldn't find them. Same goes for Tina's makeup.

I would prefer that it all not be found, but if it is, c'est la vie.

[Shari]

Clues? Doesn't matter that much. My wife knows about Shari and grudgingly accepts her.

Precautions? Clean your history and don't place any of your "nefarious" sites in your favorites.

I keep my pictures hidden in a folder in Shari's e-mail account. Not too worried about anyone in the family hacking into an e-mail account they know nothing about.

[linda allen]

I think if you're leaving "clues" you really are wanting to be caught. It's a simple matter to search for all *.jpg files (you don't even have to know that, just search for "pictures". I have a Wal-Mart photo upload application on one PC that automatically finds all photos and displays them so you can send them to Wal-Mart for prints.

To answer your question, personally I don't leave clues if I can help it and I take what precautions I can to avoid others finding out. My wife knows and is OK with it so I don't have to hide from her.

[Karren H]

The clueless wouldn't understand the clues..... not that they are clues.... they are more like character traits..... of an effeminate male..... which no one seems to really care about... Even my wife said last night when I got a flyer in the mail from Casino to pick up a free gift.... a woman's handbag.... "bet you'd like that"... lol. She understands.... she doesn't like it but she understands it...

[DeeArel]

For all the photos that I want to save, I insert them into a word document that is password protected to open. I found that no matter how deep you bury them on a computer, they have a way of surfacing if you do not protect how they open.

[linda allen]

My photos are stored on a password protected USB drive that is kept in a drawer, not in the computer. No, it is not labeled "Linda's photos".

[Christina Kay]

You can run , but you can't hide....Google ...the beginning of "The gig is up" ..a Hugs

[Jordan]

I am out to my wife so I really dont have to hide much she just hates to see pictures of me as jordan all dolled up

[Deedee Skyblue]

I am also out to my wife, and it's OK to dress at home. So I'm not as careful with stuff at home as I might be. Much more careful in the work environment - never putting anything on the corporate network that could be identified.

Deedee

[Laura28]

I am also out to my wife and she is fine with it. It is funny she loves to see pics of me dressed fully. But doesn't want to see me fully dressed in person.

[Andrea Renea]

I'm out to my wife also. She likes Andrea's clothes out were she can look though them and sometimes wear something.

It is great not to have to hide.

[melanie206]

I'm out to my wife but have a teen around so I must maintain the secret. As was mentioned, Chrome's incognito window is an easy and reasonable precaution. However, anyone with serious intentions could figure it all out. Kate mentions blackmail. My wife raised this as a concern and part of her fear about my going out to gurl events. Anyone else thought about this or ever heard of it happening?
Melanie

[BLUE ORCHID]

HDeedee, I find that the easy way is not to put anything on the computer and clean the browsing history.
My wife knows about my dressing but it's a DA/DT kind of thinggie so nothing is hidden just put away .
I know my boundary's and stay within them and my life is great.

[Sarah Beth]

Being out to my wife I don't have to worry a lot about things with her. But on occasion have a grand child who uses my computer so have to be careful about things on there. I don't think I am very photogenic so there are not a lot of pics of me dressed or in drab either one but the ones I have I keep on a thumb drive. I also try to delete my history if some else may use my computer. The biggest hints I think around are the makeup case under the sink in the bathroom because everyone knows my wife doesn't use makeup. My fem undies in the laundry if someone else comes around. Then why would people be going through our laundry.

[CarlaWestin]

Clues? I'm sure that my excuse of growing up with sisters is wearing thin with my lady friends at work. I seem to be more interested in their makeup and nails than anyone else but, working in a predominantly male environment, they're starving for girl talk so they indulge me.

As far as media and browsing security, Carla is a separate entity, I avoid FB like poison and media is on a designated drive with a unique usb cable that I keep buried with the other pile of cords and junk.
What are your thoughts about keeping media encrypted on cloud servers?

Back to clues. I am thinking about loading an electronic picture frame with all Carla pictures. Thoughts?

[adrienner99]

How much you hide is your decision, no one else's. Undeleted computer histories have exposed many people who wanted privacy....I browse in Safety/private mode, and all my sensitive pics are on a flash drive in my briefcase...

[Katie Russell]

I have a DADT relationship so I don't flaunt what I'm up to. I also have young children who are getting more computer literate so I make sure my history / favourite sites are deleted and there is nothing incriminating that could be pasted. I don't have any photos so no worries there. All of my clothes are in a wardrobe and drawers in the loft so out of sight. I guess that there are tell tale marks in the carpet left by the loft ladder so my SO know if I've been getting stuff down!

Katie

[JennyLynn]

I keep all my clothes in a locked suitcase in "my room" . I told my wife it was there and it was my "bugout" bag with ammo, food etc. She never goes into my room (den) except to vacuum and is not at all a snooper. I make sure I only dress and undress in my room, so all my Jenny stuff stays there. I only use my tablet for anything CD related and it is password protected to open. She doesn't know the password and I change it about every 2 weeks just in case. When I do take time off from work to dress, I always call my wife from my cell just to say hello. That's to make sure she's at work and not maybe coming home early. It's about a 45 minute one way drive home, so I'm guaranteed at least that amount. If she were to just show up at home while I was dressed, I would just book into my bathroom, undress and stuff into a drawer and hop in the shower. We have seperate bathrooms.
Jenny

[Cheryl T]

So, no one would find your folder in a casual search...true. Just try using search to find Pictures and see what comes up....


We all leave tell tale clues when we are in stealth mode as I was for decades. We delude ourselves into believing that no one would find a thing, but there is always "something" left behind. When I was "borrowing" my wife's clothing no matter how precise I was about returning things I'm sure I missed something. There were looks and curious questions that said she suspected something but didn't know what to call it.
Personally I think we subconsciously leave a trail hoping to be discovered and end all this hiding and secrecy so we can just be ourselves. We hope being uncovered will lead to acceptance and allow us to shed all the guilt.
But that's just my 2 cents.

[JamieNorman]

I am not sure if I ever want my wife to know but, all I can do is be extra careful. I travel a lot with my job and that is when I dress and go out. I go to vegas once a month to be Jamie and the expereince is amazing. I keep my clothes in a suitcase in the garage, making sure there are empty suitcaes above it in case she needs one. Meeting other girls makes this experience that much more enjoyable. Talking about it with people who understand it makes it even more amazing

[Carla4Guage]

I have a great way of hiding everything! It's all in the spare bedroom downstairs with the attached bathroom. Everything is there; my makeup is in the drawers and on top of the bathroom counters, clothes either in drawers or the closet. Nothing is locked, my computer is there with only my login to secure anything you would want to see. That is the blessing of having a wife that although she is not at all fond of my "hobby", she is at least tolerant of it. The only problem is putting it all in storage boxes every Christmas when our house become Christmas Central for both her and my extended families.

[~Joanne~]

I thought I was safe too, until a virus infected my computer and was beyond my ability to repair. So, I had to take it to a repair shop. All my files appeared to be deleted. It turned out that they were only hidden

That's why I have a file shredder and never use the delete option. I found a very good one right here: http://www.fileshredder.org/ I am not saying that it is a 100% accurate but I have tried to recover old files and they are not there so I assume it is working as it claims. If you feel that you need the protection, you can always buy one at best buy or where ever PC programs are sold.

[JanetWood]

I surf from a VM that is password protected and well hidden. Never take any pictures - too paranoid. As for clues? I have multiple, cryptic, reminders to check and double check that everything that should not be seen is 'not' seen. Its unfortunate, but this is what I have to go through to CD.