The heels are on the other foot

[nhlighthouse]

I got to thinking about how us males are handling the response from SO of us crossdressing. Well think of it this way...How would we males feel, handle and accept the fact that our SO wants to cd as a MALE? Could we accept the fact that our little lady didn't want to play her role anymore and be feminne with us...Kind of makes you want to think this CDings through a little deeper....Just my take and some food for thought...Mychelle

[Kelly DeWinter]

I've thought about this many times, and the answer for me would have to be we would have to talk, accommodate if we want the relationship to continue. I'm pretty positive that i would not want to be a hypocrite, although if she wants to work on the cars, she had better clean off the grease before comming in the house. Oh and NO tidy whiteys on date nights.

[Pandys]

I think I would be very encouraging, could be fun.

[binx]

I've seen this asked before, and the majority of the answers are about being supportive, accepting, etc. (which is awesome and I believe are truly honest answers, don't get me wrong)

But would that be your initial reaction if the situation was REALLY flipped? I mean..as in you know very little or possibly NOTHING about gender identity, transgender, etc. Imagine knowing diddly about the topic other than what you see from very isolated or dramatized cases.

Kelly mentioned not wanting to be a hyprocrite which tells me that at least some people read this question as "my SO would be doing what I do." When I see it (and other GGs?) as "my SO is doing something that never even existed in my world before." If you really put the shoe on the other foot, it wouldn't be something BOTH partners do. (I know there are trans*/trans* relationships, but I don't think thats the point of this specific question.)

I think this question gets answered with the knowledge you already have as a trans* person and I think that has a huge influence. To really answer, you would have to imagine not knowing the facts, having misinformation already implanted that you'd have to clear out, and you would have to look at it without having your own feelings and experiences being a deciding factor. I think this question is pretty loaded.

[Sara Jessica]

It's a theory that comes up from time to time and while it can be amusing to play "what if", this is simply a phenomenon which rarely happens.

[mykell]

ok ill bite.
while i believe the assumption that it rarely happens to be true sara, binx makes a good case on my not knowing what i have learned being a CD and being blindsided by the info when told, which im dealing with at the moment, she does not know at this time.
one point that was stated was she didnt want to play her role as feminine, my wife is not a girly girl, but as i have stated in another thread she is feminine 24/7, but in my crossdressing i accept that at the end of the day im a male and chest hair will be stroked while being close with her as well as my activities that are associated as male so she will not lose my masculine side or my "role", so being a "loaded" question is paramount, this splinters many different directions depending on each specific relationship. i honestly can not answer how i may react not knowing what i have learned here and feel from my life experience with this lifestyle ive lived with for most of my life.

[Requal Jo]

There a many women out there who continually wear male attire and we do not batt an eyelid. My wife at one stage preferred male jeans and tops and enjoyed wearing them and no one said anything. It was all accepted as natural.

Just us males try to wear their clothing out and see the reactions.

I suppose it would be different if your SO said she was going trans gender.

[Jilmac]

I think it would make a great role reversal scenario

[Beverley Sims]

Well there's another thought for the boudoir.

[nhlighthouse]

Well maybe I didn't back up what I was trying to enlighten us about cross dressing. I only presented the scenario to make us aware of the feelings of our SO and how she would handle it. In others words ....Go slowly and be aware of her acceptances and don't force it on her!

[linda allen]

Considering this is posted to a bunch of crossdressers, I don't think you'll get an answer that would reflect the opinion of the general public.

In my case, I would accept, and possibly enjoy it as long as it was kept under cover, just like my dressing as a female. Would I like for her to cut her hair, bind her breasts, and live life like that in public? Nope, and I can understand why she doesn't want me to go out among family, friends, and neighbors as Linda.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander (or vice versa).

[Deedee Skyblue]

I wouldn't like it if my wife wanted to transition, but if her interest in FtM crossdressing was similar to my own MtF (fun, relaxation, and feeling sexy), I think it would be really neat. It would be cool to go out crossed together.

Deedee

[Laura28]

I have to agree with Dee Dee

[nhlighthouse]

I agree with you both Deedee and Laura28

[jenni_xx]

It's an interesting question. One that's hard for me to answer as I'm gay, but nonetheless one that does make me sit and and wonder. I do have to ask though, when you say "our little lady didn't want to play her role anymore", what role is that? Simply the "role" of being the woman?

This is going to sound completely hypocritical of me, but I wouldn't want a partner who himself was a crossdresser.

[Eryn]

If my wife decided that she wanted to be FTM I would support her as she has supported me and for exactly the same reasons. We committed to a lifetime together and a little thing like gender issues shouldn't stand in the way of that!

[Cheryl T]

With my having been in the closet for so long before coming out to her and hoping for tolerance at the least and acceptance being more than I could wish for How could I deny her the same?????

[ReineD]

I think this question gets answered with the knowledge you already have as a trans* person and I think that has a huge influence. To really answer, you would have to imagine not knowing the facts, having misinformation already implanted that you'd have to clear out, and you would have to look at it without having your own feelings and experiences being a deciding factor.

I agree with this. It's fun to imagine a quid pro quo arrangement for someone who already crossdresses, since it would also allow greater freedom for the CDer. But I'd bet that most men who do not crossdress would hate the idea.

[Kelly DeWinter]

I've seen this asked before, and the majority of the answers are about being supportive, accepting, etc. (which is awesome and I believe are truly honest answers, don't get me wrong)

But would that be your initial reaction if the situation was REALLY flipped? I mean..as in you know very little or possibly NOTHING about gender identity, transgender, etc. Imagine knowing diddly about the topic other than what you see from very isolated or dramatized cases.

Kelly mentioned not wanting to be a hyprocrite which tells me that at least some people read this question as "my SO would be doing what I do." When I see it (and other GGs?) as "my SO is doing something that never even existed in my world before." If you really put the shoe on the other foot, it wouldn't be something BOTH partners do. (I know there are trans*/trans* relationships, but I don't think thats the point of this specific question.)

I think this question gets answered with the knowledge you already have as a trans* person and I think that has a huge influence. To really answer, you would have to imagine not knowing the facts, having misinformation already implanted that you'd have to clear out, and you would have to look at it without having your own feelings and experiences being a deciding factor. I think this question is pretty loaded.


I agree with this. It's fun to imagine a quid pro quo arrangement for someone who already crossdresses, since it would also allow greater freedom for the CDer. But I'd bet that most men who do not crossdress would hate the idea.

Actually my answer really has nothing to do with cross-dressing, I've read a lot these last few years about long term relationships, and it's amazing how many relationships are in turmoil because of major life changes in one spouse or the other. Some examples are:

Depression
Schizophrenia
Loss of Job
Loss of Affection
Stress of Family Life
Falling out of Love
Severe health issues.
Revelation of extramarital affairs
Revelation of past abuse
Revelation of children from past relationships.
Addictions (porn,shopping,gambling,drugs -insert a major unknown item)
Menopause ( a lot of men have no idea of what happens to a women when this occurs and flip out instead of becoming educated)
Sexual dysfunction (OK guys , yes there is Viagra, which a growing number of married women over 35 would like to kill the inventor of)

and the list goes on.

It's not hard to imaging a question like this posted on a crossdresser board would elicit a empathetic response, having gone though it ( and Riene, I chide you for suggesting a quid pro quo would be because it would allow greater freedom for the CD, LOL) but I do agree that most men who do not crossdress would hate the idea. This is where I would like to hear from our transmen brothers to weigh in, since they could answer from experience.

Major Life changes cause major life stress. How many times have I wondered if a simple midlife crisis would not have been easier and shorter.

Best wishes all :)

[mary something]

what an interesting twist to this question! When I was in my late teens I was terribly in denial about myself, I couldn't even say the word crossdresser while wearing bra, panties, the whole ensemble lol. I met a gal who had just turned 18, her hair was much shorter than mine (maybe 2 inches long?) she wore it spiked with gel, always wore blue jeans and a t shirt or flannel shirt and refused to call her lady bits anything but a "wiener" lol.

I married her. She was very femme bodied but butch dyke image and I couldn't resist it.

[Annaliese2010]

"..us males"? huh? Oh please. How bout 'Us Females'. geeze nhlighthouse. I'm a girl 1st and foremost. Not an "us guys" pretending. Ya know?

P.S. Actually...I must remind myself...all kinds of people fall underneath the umbrella of CrossDresser. Sorry guy....was just a momentary juxtaposition or whatever. You guys are somethin, actually. Love ya but never wanna date ya tho, with all due respect, Mychelle (really cute name!)

[ambigendrous]

In my case, my wife has always preferred jeans and T shirts to skirts and dresses. While she doesn't bind her chest or stuff a salami down her pants she is perfectly happy in jeans and in fact she does not even own a skirt or dress. She does have some nice knit tops to wear when we need to "dress up" for an occasion but for every day wear it's jeans (bought in the men's side of the store) and T shirts or sweat shirts. I'm perfectly happy with that because I fell in love with the person inside the skin, not her wardrobe. And while she doesn't want me to go out in public in my skirts she has no problem with me "getting comfortable" in a bra, pantyhose, skirt, blouse, and heels. We often joke about how opposite our definitions of "comfortable" are...