I love the disclaimers.

[Nicole Erin]

One fun thing about being TS is that no matter how confident we are in ourselves, when we make new friends or start dating, people feel the need to tell their other friends or family about us. I can hear it now - "I am dating/hanging out with this lady named Erin, she is a transgender woman..." Of course people have to tell us, "I told so and so about you".
Well that is not awkward. :thumbsdn: It would be like having to explain to someone "My new friend has a colostomy bag and is missing an eyeball and a leg but she is really nice".
Like a damned circus freak or something.
So great, not only do we get to worry about the scrutiny or acceptance of people we like but also hope their acquaintances will accept us. "Hey everybody, the circus freak isn't too bad after all!"

Maybe it is because for me - my family is really small as is my circle of friends. I don;t feel the need to explain anything to anyone when it comes to who I decide to associate with.

Yeah I started dating again and all those insecurities I THOUGHT I had beat are starting to resurface. It is easy to say "it doesn't matter what others think" but none of us is an island.

[PaulaQ]

It would be like having to explain to someone "My new friend has a colostomy bag and is missing an eyeball and a leg but she is really nice".
Like a damned circus freak or something.


I can relate to this - I'm handicapped, and I've been disclaimered my whole life. What I can tell you is that:
1. Although it drove me absolutely insane growing up, it doesn't bother me now
2. People who are my people basically don't even notice it anymore. It's just who I am.
I presume being transgendered will eventually be like this for me / them.

Since you are dating a woman, and she's comfortable with that, I'm going to go out on a limb and conjecture that her acquaintances are probably more accepting than usual.

But yes, being labeled "OH LOOK - SHE'S ALMOST A NORMAL PERSON!" is uncomfortable, to put it mildly. I never enjoyed feeling like I was someone's show and tell entry.

[Melissa.Lynn88]

One fun thing about being TS is that no matter how confident we are in ourselves, when we make new friends or start dating, people feel the need to tell their other friends or family about us.

Right now I'm finding out how much this type of thing happens. Recently I've come out to a few people at work and have since become good friends with them. The other day I found out they have told some others about me. I find it somewhat annoying because I feel like this isn't their thing to go and tell whomever they want. Still where I'm at in my transition it may end up being helpful because those they have told are a few less people I'd have to explain my situation to if I were to ever meet them.

[Angela Campbell]

"OH LOOK - SHE'S ALMOST A NORMAL PERSON!" .

Is it bad that right now that kind of sounds pretty good to me?

[PaulaQ]

@Angela - LOL, no, that's not bad hon!

[thechic]

I'm all over it now being TS is odd for a lot of people, the other day at work I surprised a friend who was shopping with his wife, boy did she give me the evils , he then told her I'm TS and then every thing was ok , what gives

[AllieSF]

I have seen a lot of that, and am as guilty as many, though I am trying to eliminate that from my vocabulary. I don't know how many times I have referenced in a conversation a black friend, gay friend, TS acquaintance, whatever. It is really a hard bad habit to break. I had a close friend call me on that one day. Then later that same evening she used the very same phrasing when referencing one of her friends. Of course, I called her on it and we got a good laugh about it. It is totally unnecessary to describe who or what that friend is unless it is specifically pertinent to that conversation. My friend or acquaintance is more than enough.

Some people use it to indicate that they are cool with whatever or whoever is different, i.e. they are accepting. Some are trying to brag a little about knowing someone who is different. Both have applied to me at one moment or other. Sometimes I think that it is part of human nature to try and fit in to a clique, crowd or conversation. Like when we may say, "Oh yeah, I tried that once." I believe that though inconsiderate, we and they are just not aware of how bad it sometimes really sounds and is. Hopefully, I will eventually purge all that and so will everyone else.

[I Am Paula]

Others are guilty of it, I'm guilty of it, and sometimes I even do it to myself, as in, when an SA says ' Hey I remember you!' , and I respond 'Hard to forget a six foot transsexual'.

[Ann Louise]

dang Paula - I used to be six foot. My last doctor appointment measured me as 5'10". Can't decide if I'm happy or sad about that. I'll take happy... :-)

[I Am Paula]

Dang, Ann Louise- The cost of shoes must have been staggering!

[Nicole Erin]

dang Paula - I used to be six foot. My last doctor appointment measured me as 5'10". Can't decide if I'm happy or sad about that. I'll take happy... :-)

All I am gonna say is -
Think of those white hair'ed short ladies you see at MCL cafeteria, 80 year old ones with walkers. They were 6 foot at one point.