The one thing you want your SO to know about your CDing is...

[Briana90802]

Besides that you love them, what do you wish your SO knew and understood about you crossdressing?

Just one thing.

[Sarah Beth]

I wish I could get her to understand how comfortable I am when I'm dressed. That may sound a bit strange but in spite of everything we have gone through over my cding she just doesn't really understand that there is just something comforting to me about being dressed.

[Carroll]

I need shoes!

[CarlaWestin]

It's not a bad thing.

[JessMe]

I am lucky enough to have an amazing girlfriend that not only accepts my CDing, but encourages it on occasion (you're getting all negative, I wanna see Jessica soon. ) ...that being said, I DO occasionally wish she could see it from my pov, just once. ...trust me, ladies and. ...well... ladies, I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth... I more than appreciate her and everything she does for me (both of me. Lol), but I'm not sure she really "gets it" sometimes. ...having to hide something about yourself for nearly 30 years, and suddenly having it known isn't easy either. I know she's super cool, but I don't think she quite gets why I still sweat like an NFL linebacker when it's 60 degrees and I dress around her. It's panic. Lol

[Rachael Leigh]

Sarah I so agree with that, I to am very comfortable when dressed. I mean I like to be pretty but that is secondary to feeling comfy.

[mykell]

that there was nothing that she could be at blame for about me having these desires, it was there all along !!

[Julie Gaum]

Sarah said something and not realizing it, may be on to something that a SO would like to understand and so would I! Feminine clothes are usually more comfortable
than male clothes due to the lightness, the sheerness and the fit (and more I missed). But Sarah in the same vein indicated that, synonymously, they are "comforting"! I agree with both descriptions but why are they also comforting? Explain that and we have opened a can of, maybe, worms.???
Julie

[JenniferYager]

That the desire has nothing to do with her

[julia ann]

I would like my wife to understand that my male side and female side make up the whole person that she originally fell in love with. I believe my female expression makes me a much more understanding and compassionate person. And besides without it how could I ever understand the agony over a panty hose run or broken nail.:)

[Steph_CD_62]

That I am the same person she loves no matter what type of clothing I am wearing.

[kimdl93]

Gosh, she pretty much knows what I know. I'm trying to think of anything I haven't shared or quite understood...I'll get back to ya!

[edith]

I want her to understand how wonderfully happy it makes me feel.

[MissTee]

That there's no such thing as "too many shoes."

And for the record, I buy my wife a new pair every time Misty gets a pair.

[Ozark]

Edith, I am going to take what you said and adapt it to my circumstances..... I want her to understand how wonderfully happy it makes me feel when I am dressed like this and with her.

I'm move of an Missouri farm wife type, my wardrobe consists mainly of jeans, tops and jackets. And nightgowns. Did I say nightgowns?

I enjoyed reading the responses.

[Karren H]

One thing..... that not telling isn't the same as lying.......

[Jason+]

That it was a part of me long before I met her and that it is not a reflection on her worth as a woman, mother, husband or anything else. It's simply as inherent a part of me as loving music or computers.

[GaleWarning]

That I am the same person, regardless of what I am wearing.

[Shayna]

That it's part of me, just like all the other parts she loves.

[Jenniferpl]

Although she is the one who has to deal with it, it has nothing to do with her.

[AmyGaleRT]

Maybe just that sometimes I do still need to buy more clothes! :heehee: :D

(She understands pretty much everything she needs to understand. She and I are perfectly comfortable around each other as two women.)

- Amy

[Kelly DeWinter]

.... your closet space is up for grabs if you don't use it. :)

[Foxy Lady]

That it relaxes me when I'm stressed.

[Teddie]

To love me, is to love both side of me.

[Rhonda Darling]

I would like her to understand that while I may have dreamed about, had fantasies about, and imagined myself as being a total woman -- I really really really don't want to, nor do I intend to, transition. I love the freedom of CDing.

Rhonda

[NancyJ]

That for her to know, accept, and love Nancy would be the greatest gift I've ever received. Nancy

[Beverley Sims]

She already knows,
my taste in clothes is better than hers.

[stephNE]

My goodness! There are many very good thoughts in here. You all are fantastic!

[Guy19]

I completly agree with you there, OP. :)

[JuliaM]

She doesnt "get" that men love to feel sexy too!

[Briana90802]

One thing..... that not telling isn't the same as lying.......

Wow, a great answer. I couldn't agree more.

[LelaK]

(Assuming I had a GF, what I'd like her to understand is: ) that being told at age 4 that you can't be the woman that you previously expected and hoped you'd become when you grow up would make life seem like kind of a bummer.

[audreyinalbany]

How about: Keep a sense of humor. It's really not so terrible...

[Kiva]

That I didn't ask to be this way.

[sweetshauna]

I need shoes!

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[Kate Simmons]

That it comes in second with regard to my feelings for her. :)

[Kelly DeWinter]

My SO read my post and is now threatening to get out the measuring tape !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Deborah2B]

I would like my wife to understand that my male side and female side make up the whole person that she originally fell in love with. I believe my female expression makes me a much more understanding and compassionate person. This was a part of me long before I met her and that it is not a reflection on her worth as a woman, mother, or anything else. I am the same person she loves no matter what type of clothing I am wearing and that my not telling her is not the same as lying to her.

[Briana90802]

My SO read my post and is now threatening to get out the measuring tape !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My closets divided into 1/3s. ;)

[Kelly DeWinter]

Hmmm Briana, I could try that on Jeannie, but i think i'll hide the measuring tapes first.

[Launa]

That anytime is a good time to crossdress!

And it can never be often enough!

[IwishIwasTracy]

That I need to do this. And it isn't a reflection oh her.

[linda allen]

That I am still the same man she married. That includes the facts that I am not turning gay and won't be having surgery to become a woman. It's all part of the one thing.

[Jubileee]

That although I am waaay greatful to have her acceptance, I want her support more than anything. But hey, one step at a time...

[Tina_gm]

That CDing and me accepting my feminine side does not change the way I feel about her at all. I am still as attracted to her both physically and emotionally as I have ever been.

[Dianne S]

That it's not a rejection of her, but just a built-in urge.

[Karen kc]

That I love her dearly, we are not bad people, this is something I have to do, I will not leave you for another cd, I am not gay and I never will be, I do not want to be a women, it is not ur fault. You are the only person for me.
my wife supports me!! Just for reassurance

[chrissy111]

Whatever clothes I'm wearing, it's still me. The guy you fell in love with!!!

[NicoleScott]

I'm not sure if the OP assumed the SO already knows about our CDing, or not. If not, each person will have to resolve that sometime somehow. But once the SO knows, there should be no holding back. When you have "the talk", it's time to reveal all. My wife accepts my CDing after getting answers to the big two questions (Want to be a woman? No. Gay? No.) It was pretty easy for me, a straight guy who just likes to dress up occasionally, driven by certain fetishes she knows about. But I think it would be much harder for others whose revelations would cause great distress for the SO, like transitioning or desiring to be with men and/or other CDers. Those things are game-changers.
My point is: if she already knows and you have something to tell, then tell.

[Ally 2112]

Im not defective im just different and nobody is the same :)

[Mssusan]

Thank you OP for starting this thread and many thanks to those of you who are replying. The posts are heartwarming to read.

[Victoria Davison]

That I am the same person she loves no matter what type of clothing I am wearing.

This!!! While she knows I dress it causes her anxiety sometimes because she worries I will become interested in men or uncontrollably transform into a full-time girl. I blame poor media representation for unfairly coloring her views...but that's a different thread.

[kelly10]

That her acceptance of me means more to me than I could ever possibly communicate to her! Her gentle good humor and nonchalance about me is gold.

[Briana90802]

Thank you OP for starting this thread and many thanks to those of you who are replying. The posts are heartwarming to read.

You're welcome. I too read them and feel great comfort from the fact that my worries are similar to other people. It makes me feel connected to people.

[valerieg]

How wonderful it is!

That said, I have to maintain a little perspective. When I was preparing for my Pinkfest adventure in October I did a little navigating of the pinkest of fogs. Part of that was several trips to the salon. I wanted to get my nails in shape so that when I would be in femme mode for a full week I'd be sporting my very first nice manicure that I could wear for more than just a few hours. That meant CND Shellac in a nice pink color on nails that I grew out for eight weeks. Of course, I arranged to be in full femme mode for those salon outings.

Oh, back to that perspective thing. My manicurist was/is a lovely young lady and took me under her wing (can I say it like that when I'm almost twice her age?) instantly. She had questions and I was more than willing to answer them. One thing she asked me was whether I was happier as a man or a woman. I thought about that for a few moments and then I told her this. For me, that's not really a valid question. Why not? Because opportunities to dress come to me very infrequently. When I do, it's like an escape. I don't have to deal with all the harsh realities of life when dressed because I am in a de facto vacation mode. I could unequivocally state that I am a nicer and more open person when dressed. I could also say that, yes, I was happier as a woman but that that had to be tempered with the truth that it was just temporary thing.

[luca]

It kind of feels like my SO as already knows what there is about me. I don't know what I need her to know that she already doesn't (she can really see right through me most of the time, she is the one helping me figure this crap out). The thing is, my SO is more than smart enough to understand most of it, and she does, but even when you in know something, that doesn't take away the fact that you still need to process and be okay with it.

Ps, I apologize for the poor grammar and excessive use of commas here.