so my daughter said a few things...

[Georgie]

Hi all just want to ask you all for some advice....

As some may know I have a young daughter (age 4) and me and my ex are very worried anbout me coing out as trans and how it will effect her and how other parents and her friends will react with school etc


Well myself and my daughter were sitting doing a jigsaw the other day (it was of the ballet and their was boys on it doing ballet as well, so I think this is what made her think of it) and she said to me

"you can be a girl if you want daddy, I don't mind" I was shocked and went "erm why thank you, that means so much to me, anybody can be what they want to be, even if its a boy or a girl or a monkey or a cat" she then said "I love you daddy" and went on with the jigsaw

She has then several times called me a girl or a girl boy

and the next day when reading her a story (I always do all these funny voices and she always says "no daddy in your normal voice") well that night she said "no daddy in your normal girl voice"

So I had to read it in a girly voice.

So I think its clear now that she must know and is kinda saying its ok, no idea how she knows as me and my ex has not said anything to her yet, she must pick things up and over heard us talking I dunno.

Just want to know what your advice would be?

As I said we are worried mostly about how other people in the school will act etc

[chelyann]

i would take it real slow and see how it goes with her and your ex

[Sarah Beth]

It's my thought that if more people would start letting kids of that age know that it's ok for people to be tg/cd bi gay or some other color whatever we wouldn't have some many bigoted people in this world. At the same time I understand your situation and your concerns about how others will react and interact with your daughter. I just wish you the best in all of it and hope everything turns out as it should.

[mary something]

it sounds like things are going well. Part of the challenge of sending your kids off to school is the fact that they are leaving your safety zone and will be in a situation where you can't protect them. I can assure you that no matter whether you are trans or not she will feel problems at times with her classmates. The fact that she is mirroring love and acceptance to you is really nice. Someone taught her how to do that :)

[Rachelakld]

I waited until they were old enough to understand how much grief they would get at school. It's okay for school boys to be girls at my local school due to the support systems, but not okay for dads yet.

[AllieSF]

Sounds like that whatever you do not know that you are doing is working out just fine. So, my recommendation is to stay in the dark and continue making those mistakes that end up with so much success.

[docrobbysherry]

If u r planning to come out to everyone I think u should do it ASAP. Obviously, it will not be an issue for your daughter as much as it may be for many others.

[ReineD]

What a sweet little girl! :)

It just goes to show that kids that age are so resilient. And they sense everything, don't they. But most importantly, they don't want to be lied to. I think it's wonderful that you and your ex are on the same page. This will help to make your daughter feel secure, in the face of a situation that is unusual among her peers.

When does she start school? It may not hurt to let her know that some people don't understand daddies who want to be girls but this doesn't mean that it isn't OK.

:hugs:

[Rogina B]

From my own experience I think all the above responses are good ones! Continue showing her the love and she will be resilient to any one that thinks otherwise. She will be smart enough not to share "everything that goes on at home"..little girls have that sense...when they are loved...

[mikiSJ]

Kids your daughters age are blessed with not being blinded by social influences and are also able to freely express themselves as they almost always speak what is true to them.

I would be concerned about how your ex will react to your daughters acceptance and try to turn her against you with her own biases and the innuendo that can become part of your daughter's mother/daughter discussions. But, your daughters comment almost leads me to believe that your ex is broaching the subject of your transgender with you daughter.

IAC, I am glad you can have a girl to girl talk with your daughter.

[donnalee]

"Butterflies and little girls need no excuse." - Robert Heinlein