Girl on the inside ?

[Lucy_Bella]

I am girl on the outside ( a failed attempt to emulate by appearance only) but only when I give into those strong desires to dress..I will be completely honest ,I have no clue what being a girl on the insides feels like .. I feel the same when or when not dressed and that's odd for some to grasp because I am still crossing into femininity by dressing and presenting as a female would, but am I?

I would like to think that if I was to dress and present not only by appearance but also by personality .Should I act as a girl would by changing my voice and waving my hips around as I walk? .. Should I dress how most GG's dress as conservative for the most part in today's standards and not as erotic as I do? I do not and there is nothing feminine about me other than the clothing I choose and the appearance I've added to them in time..

Then there are those popular threads going around about liking boys as a girl. I would like to be clear about this one, I dress for no one but myself plain and simple and dressing does not change my sexual preference in anyway.. Not that there is anything wrong with those who do have that change of preference..

What are you? Are you a girl on the inside with the need to express that on the outside as well? Or just a girl on the outside driven by an occasional desire ? Am I alone here?

[Donna June]

You are not alone, Lucy. You'll find the whole spectrum here on this forum and I'm sure you will get a lot of different responses which is why it's so cool. As for me, I feel like a girl on the inside.

[KayleeTaylor]

I feel like a girl trapped on the inside. My desires started at a very young age and with nobody to help me with my feelings, it made them stronger and I was more determined. Even though I had no sisters, I had found a way to get clothes for me that fit. I would be alone in my room a lot daydreaming about how my life could have been. Sometimes I would dress up and sneak out of the house after my parents went to sleep. In my later teen years, I lived as a girl for a while until my roomates kicked me out for not paying rent. Then I joined the Army and left that life behind for a while. But the feelings never went away. Yes, I wish I knew what it is like to be a girl, even when I lived as one, I was never treated as one, I was treated as a gay guy in girls clothes.

Now, when I dress, I don't do it to be sexy, I don't own lingerie or pantyhose. I have one pair of heels that I call my stripper shoes and I only wear them around the house. When I dress, I am almost always in pants or jeans with a blouse. The shoes that I wear are either flats or wedges. Basically, I don't dress to be sexy, I dress to be a girl.

[Jacqui Summers]

I have always found it easier to develop friendships with women and feel like I have some feminine touches in my personality. When I dress there is an effect on my personality. I think it is natural and not something I have to try at. I find myself smiling more. I think that changing a personality to act more girly is a chasing after a stereotype. That said, I do want to work on my mannerisms. There is a lot of learned behavior for how a lady walks, and how a lady talks, etc. I want to learn and improve on those.

I want to echo the spectrum idea. We all dress for our own reasons and these are rather varied.

[Candice Mae]

In my opinion everyone including GG's will feel different on what exactly "Feeling like a girl" is. To me its as long as your expressing how you feel on the inside by your outward appearance, more then mind games to make me "feel like a girl". In the end you can only be your self, changing your personality based on appearance seams like acting a role rather then being it.

[suzy1]

The trick for me Lucy is to just be comfortable with who I am and not try to over analyze it.
I have a feminine side and I love it. Suzy is the real me and its so nice, I love it. I love being me.
.

[Kate Simmons]

Simply put, when I'm en femme my outside matches my inside.:)

[Beverley Sims]

When in emulation mode, I think I am successful. :)

[Tina_gm]

Often, and I see GG's who will typically join in when this subject arises about feeling like a woman, or female, is what does being a woman feel like? Some GG's have expressed negatively when a CDer will say they feel like a woman. How could they, since they are not a woman, they could not possibly feel like one.

I would express the same. I cannot feel like a woman because I am not one. But, I do feel more feminine than the average guy does, because I am more feminine than the average guy is. Ok, so what is feminine then anyway?? I don't think we really need to go there, and I think most of us can at least agree in general to what is more feminine and what is more masculine. And yes, for most of us there IS differences, which is why we are here in the 1st place.

For the GG's who articulate a response about how we can never truly feel like a woman, would you or could you agree that we can and do feel more feminine than the average guy? That the femininity we feel makes us more like a woman in some ways?

Personally, I do not try to feel or act feminine, it just is what it is for me. My femininity will bring out certain actions, responses both physically and emotionally that are more typical of women. There are ways both physically and emotionally that I am and feel that are more masculine and are typical of a man. I don't try to cover those up, or try to boost those too much. (I used to try to boost up the masculine in an effort to cover up the feminine) Again, for me it is what it is, I am a mixture of masculine and feminine, as are all people. I am far more mixed with femininity than that of the average guy who has very little.

[Jaymees22]

I don't know if I feel like a girl when I'm dressed, I just know I feel better, more myself. Sometimes when I'm doing routine things in male mode I feel that I am a woman doing these things. Most of the time I just feel confused, but happy. Jaymee

[Cheryl T]

I would say I'm mostly the girl on the inside struggling to get out.

[julia marie]

I'm with the GGs who are going to say that even dressed a guy can't know how a woman feels or thinks. I'd like to believe that I may get closer to being in sync with them as my dressing progresses. Reality, though, is that for many/most of us we're really just acting as we think they would. Further reality is that GGs can't define feminine thought and the feelings for women at large, just as guys can't define what masculinity is for other guys. The definitions would vary for each individual. While we can dress, walk and talk like we think women do, and (i believe) establish closer bonds with women, we will never have their perspective. They were raised as girls, viewed as girls (for good and bad reasons), and have gone through things we never have. Note, the same applies to women transitioning to male and trying to act and feel the way men do. Whether we are just crossdressing or going through a full gender reassignment, we'll always be playing a bit of catchup with those who have lived 20, 40 or more years as someone born into the opposite gender. If that's the best I can do, I'll just make the most of it and feel comfortable with who I am.

[Adriana Moretti]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYwgG2oyUbA

[Nadine Spirit]

I am me, on the inside and the outside. What body do I possess? That of a male. Does that mean that I have the brain of a male? I don't know, as I have never been able to read the minds of any other person. What qualifies something as a male thought or a female thought. I don't like football. Is that male or female? I like nail polish. Is that male or female. I like hunting ducks. Is that male or female? I like a variety of things, who is the gender judge that qualifies these things as male or female?

I don't think I am a woman trapped inside of a male body. I am me, and me has thoughts, feelings, behaviors, that can be considered traditionally male or traditionally female. I do not feel compelled to only do the male or female ones as well, I do not restrict myself to doing only the male or female ones.

[Katy120]

Nadine, In a word "brilliant!" You have captured a few words what I have struggled to express. For better or worse, I'm me, and part of me enjoys dressing as a female. It's as simple and complicated as that.

[Jenniferpl]

All I know is when wearing feminine clothing, that raging inner voice goes away and am better able to focus mentally. Does that make me a girl? Doubtful. There is more to being a woman than clothes.

[PaulaQ]

All I know is when wearing feminine clothing, that raging inner voice goes away and am better able to focus mentally.

Hrrmmmm... you just described one type of symptom for gender dysphoria. Pretty accurately, really.

[Angela Campbell]

People will say you cannot know what being a woman feels like. I do not know, but when the inside does not match the outside it is pretty obvious.

[linda allen]

None of us know what a girl feels like on the inside. We don't even know what other men feel like on the inside, only how we feel.

Just for kicks though, let's give it a try. The vast majority of girls (women) are sexually attracted to males. Do you feel this way or are you going to try to claim you're a lesbian?

Really though, females, like males, don't all feel the same. Some females want to marry a guy, have children, and be a housewife. Others want a career. Some females are interested in sports. A few get into cars, boats, motorcycles, etc.

Males are no different, their interests vary from the arts to pro football and everything in-between.

[KayleeTaylor]

The vast majority of girls (women) are sexually attracted to males. Do you feel this way or are you going to try to claim you're a lesbian?


I know I am. I have had more meaningful relationships with men than I ever had with women :)

[daviolin]

I'm just me on the inside and outside. I wear what I want. End of story. Daviolin

[NicoleScott]

LucyBella, it sounds like you are unnecessarily dwelling on not having the desire to emulate women in ways other than appearance. If you don't have that internal femininity, it's OK if you just want to dress up to LOOK feminine.
I like the feel and sounds and smells of CDing, but they are by-products of transforming. The overwhelming reason I CD is for the visual effect - I want to appear (as far as it is possible) as a woman, more specifically, how my eyes and brain envision femininity, not how others do. I don't go out much any more, preferring to stay home and transform MY way than to blend out in public. When I did go out, I tried to pay attention to my walking, talking, and mannerisms, to appear more ladylike. It was a bit artificial, though, not driven by any internal femininity but by the hope of not drawing attention by exhibiting masculine characteristics. I am just a guy, after all, made up and dressed to appear female, which is challenging enough.
Liking boys as a girl: fantasies are just fantasies - as long as they remain fantasies. I have them, but my preferences have never changed.
So to answer your question, I'm just a guy who occasionally likes to appear as a girl.

[Alexis.j]

I have always known there is something different about me, i was never like 'normal' guys, and I tried supressing any feminine traits, thinking it was wrong...
Everything made more sense after accepting 'myself' and what I am. I am not over feminine when in girl mode. But I do notice many feminine traits during my daily life. I have come to the conclusion that transitioning as 100% woman will probably not work for me, but I take it one day at a time, and besides, there is no hard rules what and how a transgender person MUST do. We are all individuals, and whatever works for you, is good.

[Lucy_Bella]

I guess what I am having a hard time understanding and this is directed at no one in general.. Going off of the popular thread on this site " Liking boys as a girl", What does that mean? Can you shut off your sexuality ? Are you Bi only when dressed ? Does something magically happen when you go feminine and become a real girl?

Like I mentioned before, I'm not poking into anyones sex life or preference.. It's none of my business anyways and I really don't want to know the details.. I am just curious ,is there an on and off switch that makes people otherwise straight when in DRAB .....Bi when presenting as female?

I know a lot of people answered as they would only be with a guy as a fantasy and would never act on the attraction...I can see were a lot of folks really do live a double life.. That's why I ask.....Is there really a girl inside you?

[docrobbysherry]

I think I'm well qualified to reply to your post. I've been here over 6 years. After arriving here, I was fairly certain the next phase of my trans developement would be the appearance of my "female side".:battingeyelashes:
After years waiting for THAT shoe to drop I realized that is a CD/Trans fantasy! Unless u have a split personality or r bipolar, most r just like u and me. We're the same person no matter how we're dressed!:eek:
Or so it is for me, anyway.

And, like u, I've read all the posts about changing your clothes changes your sexual orientation. What a lot of crap! I'm a guy. I had those fantasies of being a woman for a man. But, I'm not attracted to men, so they went away. However, quite recently, I've become more comfortable about going out. That comfort, and meeting lots of new trans, has seemed to allow me go a step further. I met a trans that is very effeminate. And, while I'm not attracted to her, I am fascinated. I don't seem to mind a little touching or kissing. Mind u, she seems to like me if I'm dressed or not. And, nothing changes for me whether or not I am. :straightface:

My point is, never say never! Life is way more complicated/convoluted than any of us can ever comprehend!

[Jacqui Summers]

I guess what I am having a hard time understanding and this is directed at no one in general.. Going off of the popular thread on this site " Liking boys as a girl", What does that mean? Can you shut off your sexuality ? Are you Bi only when dressed ? Does something magically happen when you go feminine and become a real girl?


Hmm, I don't think it works that way, but it may amplify the feelings. Sexual preference is a spectrum. It isn't an on/off switch. Labels make it seem on/off, but reality is different. You may have a strong preference for girls, but it doesn't mean you'll never be aoused by, or for that matter enjoy, the same sex, girl mode, or boy mode.

[Lucy_Bella]

LucyBella, it sounds like you are unnecessarily dwelling on not having the desire to emulate women in ways other than appearance. If you don't have that internal femininity, it's OK if you just want to dress up to LOOK feminine.
Sometimes I wonder Nicole just what it is I am doing and where it's heading you know? You have many here say "just go with it" ,I kinda think I have, and still nothing that translates to, femininity inside of me..
Makes me wonder if I actually know myself and it's not that I am really questioning my direction, it's hard to explain but I'll try.. It seems most everyone here has a valid reason for dressing in feminine and I not so much ,compared..Do I really know my self ? Because I am stuck so deep into the closet there is no body around to judge me on things like if I do change when presenting, other than me..So as masculine as I think I may be in DRAB am I really? I say that because I ( to myself ) do not feel any different when I do my events..So there very well could be a "girl inside" of me ( I doubt it tho) but nobody has seen a difference in me.. Some folks here are feminine all the time in one way or the other with or without being dressed in DRAG, I get that they are just being themselves..Is being feminine or a girl on the inside like having a on/off switch ?
If so do not have it other than ,in a, fetish way.. Does that make sense?

However, quite recently, I've become more comfortable about going out.
Doc I been here just as long and have read many of your post..I've seen you grow with settled changes and have nothing but the up most respect for you and your journey.. I don't believe I am on a journey ,I think I have met my destination as I really have never grown past the emulation..I've tried going out and it only took one time for me to know it's not for me .. Not that I had a bad time or harassed it was fun and I even forgot a few times ,that I was even dressed up.. I was in a member of a local social group for cross dressers and I felt out of place ,I felt they were different ( all of them were into guys) .. I finally realized that what I do is confident and personal and there is no need to share it to the world..Everyone does have a different path of course and sometimes we go astray I feel I am on the right path for myself at this time..

[Melissa73]

i've dealt long and hard with this question this last year, since coming out......and being honest, like most of said already.... i cant say what a girl feels or what a boy feel like.....i just know me: i am a man, who wears clothes made for a woman. it makes me feel sexy, and comfortable a same time....

[AbigailAlexis]

I can only say that I know what it is like to be a rather feminine minded male, having always had more girl friends (friends that are girls?) than guy friends. That feminine mentality does not change at all when dressing, though my mannerisms and voice tone change quite a bit. I am the same person either way, not trapped as one or the other. I am me.

That being said people always try to explain their sexuality and how they dress in the same sentence. My sexuality didn't change when I bought a bra... it's always been this: I have always been more attracted to women, but could see myself being attracted to anyone presenting femininity as a woman (cd, trans, etc.). You might say I have a preference for the feminine. Some of the folks in this forum present very well and I can say that (if i weren't married) and met them in a bar, I would certainly want to get to know them better if they were of like mind. And yes I have been on a date with such a person, prior to meeting my wife (the true love of my life).