Coming to accepting myself

[confusedcder]

Hi guys, i've been on and off here since joining and well as my original username suggested when I was initially on here I wasn't sure where I was going after 9 years of cross-dressing on and off. Well I know feel I have turned a corner. Last time I was on here I had bought a pair of panties myself. After that purge a week or two later I felt awful about it and next time I was out of time in the airport myself bought another pair. Cutting jargon short I realized and got around to wearing because I enjoyed the feel of the clothes and how it made me feel. Last weekend I bought my Christmas outfit I wanted since i was a young teen and wished there was a present of lingerie under the tree for me or my mum would have too me to one side and gave to me. I realize everyone has there thing. Yes I am still closeted and have no aspirations to come out o the cd closet, though it is much easier with all my clothes (bar a pair of full tights- will buy my own at somepoint soon, sidenote i had bought my own 4 yrs ago before quick purge.. and the shoes borrow that a fam member doesn't wear). There may be tough times ahead and if I get a girlfriend I know there will still be times I want me time dressed up and there may be a barrier there and whether I tell/show her early on the relationship or keep a secret that might tear us apart. Anyways super happy and anyone that are not accepting of themselves I say not to worry, I truely believe that ur day will come to know ur cd stage and what it means to you.

[Beverley Sims]

I think you are right, our day does come.
I hope yours does soon.

[KayleeTaylor]

Beverley is right :) Our day comes, it's all about self-acceptance. We were born with a special gift to see between gender lines and because of that we are more open to ALL the world has to offer. Some people will never understand how special our gift is, but that's okay. Remain confident and be proud of who you are. Once you find the women of your dreams, the woman that you will want to spend the rest of your life with - tell her how special you really are.

Welcome back to the forum :)

:hugs:

Kaylee :)

[kimdl93]

Sounds like your on the right track!

[boone]

Your doing okay, I think.

[Alexis.j]

Accepting who and what you are is the biggest struggle, it gets better and generally less stressfull after that.

[Jaylyn]

I think you are just like a bunch of us on here that have been through this before. It is confusing to know where one stands on this. I feel also that there are many degrees of this CD thing. I know many will get to a place they are comfortable at and stay on that point for their whole lives. It could be just an occasional dress, maybe just a certain item of clothing does the trick for them, or maybe it's the whole out Trans thing. You are right take things slowly. The kicks will come. Take baby steps and you will have enough kicks to last your life time. If you reach the pinnacle where there are no more kicks left in life then you will try and find something else that may harm you or kill you. Remember as an old song says "Kicks just keep getting harder to find". We sometimes rush those kicks in our life to the point we lose who we are and where we should be in life's journey. Be true to yourself but take it and make it happen slowly so you can enjoy the kicks along the way. JMHO on life and CD.