going out

[Majella St Gerard]

I've been getting more and more comfortable being dress and going out. I don't get butterflies in my stomach as much. I see a lot of posts about going out dressed and how hard it is. I know I been there. Thankfully I have a GF that is into it as much as I am, she encourages me to be me. It's easier if you have support. So gurls, get off the fence and put on your big gurl panties (and dress) and go out and be proud. Remember to own it. Sorry for the mini rant. Peace out.

[Katy120]

Thanks for the encouragement. It is something I need to read repeatedly, fence-sitter that I am.

[Di]

My :2c:
It is NOT a race.....and do not feel pressure to go out unless it is something you want to do.

For those that might venture out for the first time pack a guy bag for emergencys like car breaking down ect ( change of clothes and shoes, baby wipes to remove make up)

We started out many years back at lbgt clubs now just go most anywhere.

[Majella St Gerard]

I'm just having some fun with ya'll. I'm making light of the situation, I know how hard it can be for some people here, having to hide and keep a secrete, I've done that. I am very lucky to have someone that lets me be me. It is easy for me I guess. I am not hiding my crossdressing, I don't care who knows, so going out dressed for me is not so hard, it's getting to this point that was the hard part. I'm more at peace with myself now than I was. What do I care what people think. If going out is not your thing then don't feel obligated to go out dressed just to appease some people.

[JillianF]

I've found that little baby steps were the key to my building the confidence to go out more and more. I came to realize one MAJOR factor: No body is watching you! I remember the first time I went out as an adult, I was with my wife in the car & I thought the whole world was shining a spotlight on me. I started wearing earrings in my car on the way to work, and putting on a new blouse in the car & wearing it home, if I had bought one that day, even if I was still in "guy" mode. You'll quickly learn that no one is watching, and no one cares anyway - they're all just going on about their business. And when it comes to dressing & going out shopping, as long as you're dressed age appropriately (no latex mini skirts) and casually, no one will give you a second look at the mall or any other store, unless you're just so out of the realm of passibility it's ridiculous (full beard with a wig & skirt, hairy legs, bodybuilder in a sundress, etc), I just think the way to get better at is to KEEP PRACTICING. After 4 or 5 trips, you'll notice the obvious reads stop. Another 4 or 5, and you'll really start to have fun with it. Sure, there will still be a moment from time to time that you feel "whoops...! SHE picked me up..." but that's OK. If you're not read, you're just a gal shopping. If you are, they'll likely think that you're transitioning & "...isn't that nice..". All this provided you look good, act respectfully & like other women your age, and smile while looking folks in the eye. THAT alone goes along way!

One thing that's really been helpful to me is to be a student of other women when I'm out with my wife, or with my friends, while in guy mode. Watch how they look at clothing on the rack. Watch how women eat, drink, hold & carry themselves. I even learned a lot from watching women put gas in the car! How they deal with their purse & wallet at a checkout counter. How women hold their arms & hands at a restaurant while holding a glass of wine, or drinking water through a straw. I love to watch & learn all this - and I do it ALL THE TIME. It really helps!!!

Have fun!!!

[MsRenee]

Like Di said. When the timing is right you will take the first step.
Trust me Its nice to be out n about enjoying yourself . Thats probably the second hardest thing to do right up tuere next to telling tour S/O.
Glad to see.you had fun and getting more.comfortable with being yourself.
Renee

[Madeline80]

Majella and Jillian, great advice from both of you.
I just went out for the first time, two different nights in Vegas. I was full of confidence and satisfied with my appearance until I left my own safe little bathroom. As soon as I had to face some people i started looking for places to hide, but. I kept those big panties on and tried to walk through the crowds with a smile. I was dressed to blend and as you said, hardly anybody noticed. Practicing is a huge help. Physically, women do almost everything a little differently. Last night, I got dressed and SO helped me work on the "walk."

[Nikki A.]

When you're ready do it. Don't let someone force the timeline.
That said, I've gotten to the point where I'm comfortable presenting as Nikki, no nerves or trepidation, it just feels normal being dressed.
If read, and I know that I am, I just hope that the see someone who is appropriately and well dressed and that I've made an effort to look nice. So far so good, I seem to get a lot of complements from women on my make-up and overall presentation. Thats all I can ask for.

[JamieQ]

Oh yes, I agree. Its not a race...only you will know when and if you are ready...I hope no pressure comes from here. I was in the past pressured to post pics of myself on here by some members. They thought I had to "prove" myself to back up things I posted. So, when I was ready I did...and I have been left alone since. I probably way exceeded what they expected, so I hope they are happy now. I posted them not to prove anything but to share my experiences and hopefully be accepted some.

[Beverley Sims]

Majella,
You have to look good and support is a great morale booster.
My butterflies went years ago.

[Laura Collette]

The few times I've been out -- none of them recently -- the scariest part for me was getting clear of the house without a neighbor recognizing me. After leaving the immediate area I felt more confident... but it was at night and I was in the car so I still feel inexperienced. I'll have to build up now to the level of daring I had then, and then keep on moving forward.

[AmyGaleRT]

Good job, Majella! I know it took a lot of building self-confidence for me to even walk out as far as the Dumpster that first time. But I kept it up, until the point where I lost all fear of being out as Amy. That's when the real fun started! :)

- Amy

[Katy120]

Thanks, Jamie, for your perceptive thoughts. They really spoke to me.

[Krystenw]

Yep, what they said.
It does get easier as time goes by.
My wife is only just lately letting me go out fully dressed.
After my last back surgery, she didn't want me to take any chance of falling.
She still won't let me go out wearing heels.
I have to agree with her. Old fat ladies don't fall gracefully and I'm not going to take any chances.
I know I look like an old guy in ladies clothing, but I have found that if I dress conservatively and not worry about drawing attention to myself, things usually go just fine.
Krysten

[Kristina_nolagirl]

I tend to disagree in the fact that it is not a race...I think it absolutely is a race. If you have a desire to leave your house, you need to make it happen. You will never be fulfilled in life if you don't. Just read all the sad stories of the poor girls who waited to their 60's and 70's before they got the confidence to walk out the door. They talk about the regret of not going out sooner. I fully understand where these girls were coming from with no internet to realize that they were not the only man on the face of the planet that likes to wear womens clothing. But this day and age, you can talk to others who have been there and hook up with girls to go out with. And for every girl who waited until she was 60 or 70 to walk out the door there are dozens more who thought about not ever doing it on their death bed.

My philosophy on life is I want to accomplish my goals and dreams sooner rather then later. We're not guaranteed tomorrow. You could end up dead or paralyzed and never be able to dress again so what better day then today to get your dreams going. Never let anyone pressure you to do something you don't want to do. But more importantly, NEVER let anyone tell you to "wait for the right time" because the only right time to live your dream is ASAP.

[NathalieX66]

Yay, Magella!....Welcome to the club.

I'm not a full-timer, thought not sure whether I will ever be ,or won't be, So I just leave it at that. My public outings usually number 1-4 times a month.

However, I have never felt more comfortable being out & about in public more than I do now. It just feels so good. I feel happier than a parrot on a tot of rum, and interacting with normal every day people makes it all worth it. Just get me out of the damn house, and in the company of people so I can be me for a while.

[Suzanne F]

For me the best part is being out in the world as I imagined. The joy overrides the self consciousness. Sure I still have a nervous second once in a while. But for the most part I am too happy to worry. After so many years of hiding I am free. I am lucky that I am thin and having a supportive wife helps immensely. I know some people Just want to dress in private and I get that. For me it is more about being out in the world the way I always wanted to be!

[docrobbysherry]

We don't all need to go out dressed. I've gone out a lot this year. But, only around Halloween or with other girls to T friendly venues.:battingeyelashes:
Yes, it gets easier the more I do it. But, it will never be "enjoyable" for me to be out and seen as a man in a dress, or worse, by Muggles.:Angry3:

I have no desire to go shopping or out to dinner at vanilla venues, dressed. I resent dressing to suit others and am always stressed when walking/being around vanillas! :eek:

I'm a closet dresser. Where there's no stress, no blending, no fears!:D

If u don't like getting fisheyes from strangers at Starbucks? Then, don't! Not all CD's go out dressed. Don't feel guilty if you're one of them!:)

[AmyGaleRT]

Kristina, I would be inclined to agree with you, but with one caveat: Only you yourself can make the decision to step out that door while dressed. You can be influenced by what you read here, or what you hear, but no one else can make the decision for you. And that means only you can decide when, or if, the time is right to do so.

No one can force you outside; you have to find the courage within yourself to step out there. Some girls never do, or never want to, and that's totally OK.

I won't deny that reading about other ladies' ventures out helped plant the seeds that led to me going out. But that's my personal experience; I don't speak for others in that regard.

- Amy

[Tracii G]

Good for you !!! A big Yay is in order here.

[Lucy_Bella]

I'm just gonna say good for you... If that is what makes you happy in life.....Go for it and have fun:)

[KaceyR]

?.. or worse, by Muggles.

Uh oh... We have a Wizard.. Er ... sorry.. Witch here :). Everybody behave! :D

While on the whole, you don't _have_ to ever go out... I think it'd be best to plan to do so sometime before you croak.

I'm kind of a pseudo state with the thinking for myself.
On the plans to get out... I've pretty much considered (to myself) that I _will_ be going out sometime.
But I don't really "set" any specificness with any dates,etc. my logical side though wants me to get out sometime however... Just for validation on how well I'd pass. So there's that.

But I'm new at this... While I'm learning the dress and so forth, I don't think I've really "studied" the female mannerisms, actions, so forth fully enough.
Heck, in RL I'm quite a bit shy... And have a harder time really looking at people let alone staring at any for any time. So while I work on that and others (thanks internet) I just figured I'd let whatever 'outing' happen whenever it does and I feel good enough to make an attempt.
So there's really no specific rush for me... It'll happen when it happens.

(Just as long as it happens sometime before I croak... Although if I do croak then Sherry knows where an available frog is at for her brews then.. :)

[Majella St Gerard]

Yesterday I got "dressed" to run to the store, it must have taken me a hour or so to get out the door. I kept checking myself out in the mirror, going over my look, making sure the skirt and blouse looked good, the heels, the stockings, I just kept on nit-picking and wondering if I look OK. So even us experienced gurls get that twinge every now-and-then. I went to the store with no incident, as usual. I do take a little pleasure in messing with people's heads, a man walking around in public dressed in women's clothes is not something you see everyday, I can imagine that it makes some peoples day, "hey honey guess what I just saw at the market?" And hopefully they walk away thinking Hey, he's just a normal guy doing normal things, he's just wearing a dress, and nice legs by-the-way. Peace & Love

[linda allen]

It's not only not a race, it's not necessarily a goal. Many of us hesitate to go out in public dressed because of the fear of embarassing our wives or the fear of hurting our careers. Others just know that they can never come close to passing because of size, build, etc. and could only be a "man in a dress".

I've been out a few times and it was a great experience but I've had to change and change back in a car and that's a hassle. I'm not going to embarass my wife by walking out the front door in broad daylight as Linda. I love and respect her too much to do that.

[Kristina_nolagirl]

It was a goal for me and so many others. To clarify my earlier comment, I totally understand and appreciate that each individual is unique with different hopes, dreams, wants, needs and circumstances. I'm not at all suggesting or trying to pressure those who have no interest to get out into the world to do so. All I'm saying is that for those girls who do have the desire, but are waiting "until they are ready" or "when the time is right" because they are paralyzed by fear to get to it and just do it! This life we are given is too short and precious to waste away goals because of fear.

Also, I love, honor and respect my wife more than anything in the world. She's the one who literally pushed me out of our hotel room the first time I went out. She's also encouraged me to make friends, start a blog, and lead the life that I want to. Not only do I not embarrass her, she's actually quite proud of her best girlfriend! :) Everyday of my life she shows both my male and female self an unconditional love that I dident even realize was possible before I met her. And that I will never take for granted and am forever grateful to her and God for.

So girls - if your dream is get out in this big beautiful world - remember dreams are worthless, goals are priceless!

[Suzanne F]

It was a goal for me and so many others. To clarify my earlier comment, I totally understand and appreciate that each individual is unique with different hopes, dreams, wants, needs and circumstances. I'm not at all suggesting or trying to pressure those who have no interest to get out into the world to do so. All I'm saying is that for those girls who do have the desire, but are waiting "until they are ready" or "when the time is right" because they are paralyzed by fear to get to it and just do it! This life we are given is too short and precious to waste away goals because of fear.

Also, I love, honor and respect my wife more than anything in the world. She's the one who literally pushed me out of our hotel room the first time I went out. She's also encouraged me to make friends, start a blog, and lead the life that I want to. Not only do I not embarrass her, she's actually quite proud of her best girlfriend! :) Everyday of my life she shows both my male and female self an unconditional love that I dident even realize was possible before I met her. And that I will never take for granted and am forever grateful to her and God for.

So girls - if your dream is get out in this big beautiful world - remember dreams are worthless, goals are priceless!

So well said! I agree if fear is what is holding you back get out there! If going out is not your thing we respect that. I need to express myself in the world as a woman. It was killing me to suppress that need. That's just me!
Suzanne

[Marcelle]

Hi Majella,

To bring the focus back to your story . . . Well done and congrats.

Hugs

Isha