How Out Are You?

[xdressed]

Just out of interest, how out of the closest do you consider yourself to be and how do you identify? Comparing a few different forums and trans groups I get the feeling that the further away your gender identity is from your gender assigned at birth the more out of the closet you're likely to eventually be, but I want to see if that idea actually rings true. For example I am currently half out. I'm out to my girlfriend, everybody at uni including staff and friends on the other courses, my parents, my band, a few of my girlfriends friends and a few of my other friends, with plans to tell my girlfriends immediate family in the christmas holiday's, but am not out to the rest of my family, any of my old school friends or drinking buddies or most of the people I know from being in a band (other bands, promoters etc). I also identify as Bi-Gender, essentially half and half so this seems to fit my theory quite well, how about you?

[Beverley Sims]

The only time I am really out is when I am a long way from home base.
I do go out and shop locally but I do see too many people that may recognise me to do it often close to home.

[Kate Simmons]

I'm very comfortable with myself and am pretty open with most. However, who I am and what I do is on a "need to know" basis. Some of my family know, some don't. Some of my friends know, some don't. The bottom line is I have more people to think about than just myself here and what could potentially befall them by virtue of being associated with me.:)

[Jenniferathome]

I am out to my wife only. I was born male, identify as male and enjoy being male.

[Diana Bain]

Let's see, I'm out to my wife, my two adult children, all the people I work with and certain close friends. One I haven't told is my best friend who I consider my little brother...but since I'm transitioning he's going to find out sooner or later.

[Nadine Spirit]

My, wife, my sister, and a couple of close friends. I plan on telling a couple of other friends but that will most likely be it. No one at work and no other family knows, and they most likely never will. There is no reason for them to know.

[Jaylyn]

Ok for me I'm not out in public but could be in a big town far away from home maybe a group or something like that at a club. Have been invited by several from Texas but right now just content to play at and around the house at the farm. My wife is a very big help in all of this. She does not want me to be out in our rural area. I agree with her so we play at home a lot when I feel the urge. Now the harder question. I feel I am just a Crossdresser ( whatever that means). I love the feel of the soft apparel next to my body and really love what I look like when in the gal mode with full make up and short skirt, hose n heels. I always ten to go to the sexy look. I can't lie I have fantasized about what it would be like to be the woman sexually. My wife and I have experimented some with that fantasy. I still love also my male mode and my male hobbies. I can be rough and tumble with my guy friends at the ranch and never want any thing sexually from them. Always my sexual fantasies which are rare are with another Crossdresser. Weird I guess but I wouldn't mind going out with a other cross dressers to a club and experience what we would talk about, what they think, and I for some reason would enjoy the attention that they might give to me.... I really don't think of myself as bi curious and would be a chicken probably if I was approached. So in conclusion I think I'm just a cross dresser that loves to dress sexy and pretend I'm a gal off and on. I hate labels any way so I just really try to be myself. No label, just me with a weird almost, rebellious attitude about fashion and what is the norm for males or females....

[Dianne S]

I'm out to my wife and to our couples' counsellor. Also out to a bunch of CDing and TSing friends at a local CD/TS support group.

Other than that, not out at all. In fact, the support group has a party coming up at a hotel and it'll be my first time really out in public where I might have to interact with non-T* people... I am extremely nervous.

[Rachael Leigh]

I'm only out to my wife, others in my family knew I dressed but not really to the extent they I have my own clothes and such.
I too like my male self but when I have a chance to get pretty I love it and hate having to change back. Not sure what that means.

[Cynthia Anne]

I'm 'bout out as far as I'm going to get! Been that way ever since I purged all my ''male'' clothes!

[Barbra P]

I’m out to my Wife, Daughter, two Grandchildren, Doctor, and Therapist, a number of my neighbors, our regular Mailman, and the members of a local TG support group. My Wife does not like me going out so I’m not fully out nor am I sure I feel absolutely comfortable being totally out to everyone. If some of my neighbors didn’t know I would have to hide in the house with the shades closed and I’ve spent too much of my life that way already. I prefer to go out into the yard and I enjoy some Brief chats with some of the women in the neighborhood – for the most part the men ignore me when they see Barbra, but are fine when I’m my male self.

Lately I’ve been going to my therapy sessions en femme. I was somewhat surprised this week that I felt very little apprehension about walking into the crowded medical center. In past visits I was always apprehensive and nervous walking in and through the crowded lobby – I was fine once I stepped off the elevator on the third floor. This week I was glad there were other people in the waiting area and I felt pretty much at ease sitting there as a woman. When Kelly, my Therapist, opened the door and said “Barbra you can come in now” I knew the other patients waiting were watching as I picked up my purse and walked through the waiting area – but don’t all women secretly enjoy being admired?

I believe I am detecting some easing on my Wife’s part about me going out; she asked me when I got home from therapy if I had stopped and gotten gas. I had not and she seemed honestly disappointed that I had not. I don’t think she will ever get to the point where I could go to the local supermarket en femme, we’ve been shopping there for over thirty years, and I think it would embarrass her. However I have been openly wearing toenail polish for two and a half years and no one has said anything about that.

[Bria]

I'm out to the wife and that's it now. Bria

[Helen_Highwater]

Ok Helen does make limited appearances in public but away from home. Other than that no-one, family or friends(as far as I know) is aware of my alter ego.

[Majella St Gerard]

I'm out of the closet but not everyone I know, knows. I don't hide my dressing, so sooner or later it will get around. I just assumed my ex-wife told everyone in my hometown after I left town. Just told my sister (she suspected) haven't told brother or step dad yet, just don't want to get teased too much, I'm sure they will be cool with it. My son, and step kids all know and could care less, as long as I'm happy. We all are a strange bunch anyway, when we get together with the wife's family, I am the least weird one in the room. I dress up almost every day and go about my business, running errands and doing chores. I just came back from the market and I went wearing a black skirt, white blouse, tan hose, my peep toe heels and make-up. Had a nice chat with one of the girls from the store about what gets said after I leave the store, seems they all wonder if I am gay, she said she told them I wasn't because she knows my wife.

[Beth Wilde]

Out to most people except my family. It seems a lot of people expect me to be a CD as I am an out gay male...... I haven't taken the trouble to correct this rather outdated view too often as it works in my favour. I don't really care who knows, my male Facebook is friends with my female Facebook and there are plenty of clues......

[katssun]

No one...yet. I'm still building up the courage now that I've increased a lot more.

I'm getting a bit tired of always having to pack everything away when someone comes over.

[CamillaCD]

I was in a national TV-series a bit more than 3 years ago, so in principle I am out to everyone. In 8 episodes of 45 minutes the series portrayed 10 transgendered persons (5 transsexuals). It won a prize as the best "documentary soap" program that year. I have only one Facebook profile. No secrets there.

[stephNE]

I will say I am only out about 1%. I am only out to my wife. No one else in my family or work associates knows that I cross dress.
However, I have been attending a few meeting and I am developing a few new CD friends.

[dana digs sweaters]

Out to my family. Nothing to hide from them.

[Christina Kay]

Out to just my wife :) Hugs

[KayleeTaylor]

Well, lets see. I am out to my close friends, my ex-wives, my former girlfriends, my former boyfriends, my current boyfriend. My neighbors have seen me go out enfemme, but I have never talked to them about it. Also, when dressed around the house, I leave the shades open. I go to a trans support group, so I am out to them. I sometimes go shopping enfemme at the same stores I do "en boy"

I am not out to my mother yet, but I suspect she has her suspicions, and I am not out to my daughter yet. So 2 people, the 2 most important people in my life, I am not out to. I know I need to come out to them, but I am just not ready to yet :( Oh and I have been wearing Victoria's Secret Pink lounge pants around the house all day but my daughter hasn't said a word, but they are grey and just the word "Pink" on one leg so maybe she hasn't noticed.

Edit: I also have a male persona facebook page that I am not out on. I keep it for business mainly, if I came out on that page, I would prolly be out of business :(

[mbmeen12]

How out of the closest do you consider yourself to be and how do you identify?
On a scale of 1-10 10 being totally out and fully transitioned/full time, I am a "2" because my wife and my close CD gurl friends know only.

[Valarie]

Not out of the closet, but I have at least my foot out. My wife knows, a close friend, and co-worker. I am just trying to be comfortable with me now. I identify as Bi-Gender too, I see my-self as a combo of male and female, but lean more female.

[sweetshauna]

Out to my wife. But that's all. We have a 12 year old daughter, and don't wanna cause any unnecessary drama and stress. That is about all that's stopping me. What few times i've been out has been with her encouragement.

[Sarah Beth]

The light is on in the closet and my wife has peeked in on me that's as far out as I am.

[jamie-upstate]

I'm out to my wife my brother has seen me dressed but I don 't think he know the extent of my dressing. My 96 year old mother live with us and I have gone around with makup and nail polish she never said anything and she is still very sharp. Sometime I get the feeling that my daughter is aware someting is going on. She has been over to the house and seen somecloths in the basement and made coment to my wife that she liked some of my things and wanted to take them as she has never seen my wife wear them. My wife has come up with some excuse that it is tne only thing like that that she has for those special ocasions

[Suzanne F]

I am out to my wife, mother and sister and many friends. I go out in public about once a week and love it! My son is ten and does not know yet. I am going to tell my 2 older daughters that don't live with me probably in April. I would be totally out but my wife is not comfortable with that. So I respect her wishes while trying to be me! I am transgendered and proud of it!
Suzanne

[Stephanie Morgan]

I am out to my wife and a few of our very close friends. Other than that, I'm pretty comfy here as I have a pretty big closet.

[kimdl93]

I see a lot of similarities between my 'outness' and yours. I'm fully out to my wife and step daughter, my sons know but we keep that part out ogpf the father-son dynamic, and I'm out to several neighbors, friends, and business associates. Basically, I'm out where it's most compatible with my life, and closeted where it might cause problems.

[kymmieLorain]

Well I am out of the closet but not out of the house, my wife and my older two sons know I wear female cloths. I have yet to fully dress.

Kymmie

[vikki2020]

On a "one to ten"---I'd say I'm at 8 1/2.

[Robin777]

I am out only to my wife. No one else knows.

[Kandy Barr]

All the way now hon and it's a wonderful relief!! Guess it was a necessary next move after starting HRT. It was the right thing to do and for me much easier than I ever thought it would be, at least so far.

[MissTee]

Out only to the wife, though I think the adult kids might suspect. I never venture out in public. I identify as male.

[Krystalina]

I'm out to you all(on crossdressers.com) but not anyone else. In fact, all of my best friends are so homophobic that I'll probably never come out to them(at least, not on purpose). That goes for my family as well...and I'm sure they're wondering why I have yet to get a girlfriend/wife/woman. I dream of traveling to another city, somewhere like San Francisco, and dress up all of the time and be my true self, not the manly shell I'm forced to wear.

Okay, putting away the violin:).

[Persephone]

I am out to everyone of significance in my life, spouse, son, sister, most nieces and nephews, all of my close friends, etc. So far no-one has had a problem and they are comfortable with me either way.

The folks I am not out to are those who only know me as a woman.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[PretzelGirl]

Hmmm...unless I am misreading it, one question is being missed and that is how you identify. I identify as Transgender. It gives me a nice, free pass as it is open ended. Once I am done with work, I am me roughly 90% of the time with the main variance being when I am around family members that don't know yet. Plus I have a few interactions on a side business and some of those are pretty drab.

So how out am I? My wife and two daughters know, but not my son. He is on the east coast and I haven't seen him for a few years. He will know when I see him in person. Same with my birth family. I always said that as I see them face to face, I will tell them. That seems to be going pretty slow and that may change my mind. Some in-laws know and most friends. And since I do all my running around and fun outside of work, anyone who sees me regularly knows.

[Michelle51]

The only time I am in "man drag", as a friend recently put it, is when I am doing physical labor, fixings things; therefore, being a man in a traditional role. Otherwise, I am dressed in women's clothes of some sort, out in public at parties, getting groceries, or simply meeting a friend for a chat, etc. So I guess I'm out...period. And I am so grateful for living in such an accepting community.

[Jenniferpl]

Only the wife knows but the kids must also know by now or strongly suspect something.

[linda allen]

"Out" to people or "out" of the house? Some folks answered one, others answered the other.

I am "out" to my wife but nobody else. Once you start telling others, you've lost control of who knows so you may be out to the world eventually. A wife should be expected to keep your secret if you want it to be a secret.

I've been out of the house but not where anyone is likely to recognize me.

[chrissy111]

Only my wife, and the strangers that see me when I venture out in public.

[hazelm]

Nobody knows...shhh...
But my roommate will be out of town for the next month, so I plan on spending more time en femme. New clothes and shoes and jewelery.

[KayleeTaylor]

Hmmm...unless I am misreading it, one question is being missed and that is how you identify.

Totally missed that part. I am gender-fluid :)

[laciewhite]

i'm not out to anybody. unless you count internet 'friends'.

when i was younger i was terrified of anyone knowing. maybe because i didn't know what/why i was feeling and didn't know anything about CDs/TGs etc. i felt alone and like some kind of pervy freak.

well maybe i am just a pervy freak, but nowadays i don't think i care so much about what anyone else in my social circle thinks, but i still don't want my wife or kids to know about my CDing so i keep it under wraps just as a precaution in case the news ever got back to them somehow.