time to quit CD

[rah]

i can't buy my own (girl)cloths and wearing sisters cloths is violating her privacy and also i'm going to be very busy.

[Dana M]

Hopefully only temporary.

We are still here for you.

[Alice Torn]

Life is not fair, in this present world. You have to do what you have to do. It is ok, and sometimes good, t abstain from it for a time, and forever, if you need or choose to. We must not let it run our lives, and it surely can! One day at a time, or minute at a time. Replacing it with other important things, is ok, too, for a time.

[kimdl93]

you have plenty of time, so focus on growing up, becoming independent and then worry about building a wardrobe!

[Confucius]

When I was young there were many times when it just wasn't possible to cross-dress. I even went years without cross-dressing, but no matter how busy I was, it was still there. I believe our brains are just hard-wired to interpret cross-dressing as actual contact with a woman, and it responds by releasing neurotransmitters that give us feelings of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratification and bonding.

My advise to you is to concentrate on developing your social skills, self-confidence, and abilities. Learn how to hold conversations with others, talking about their interests, learn how to dance, learn how to compliment others. Reach out to others who need a friend. Date girls who never get asked out on dates just to develop your social skills. Tell girls that you think they are wonderful and just leave it at that. And finally learn to appreciate all the good things about being a man.

I think those things will be valuable to you all through your life.

[Kate Simmons]

That is your choice but it may be harder than you may think. Many of us here know that from experience but there are always exceptions.:)

[Alice Torn]

Confucious , your advice is good, even for old farts like me. I needed that advice decades ago, and can still use it.

[rah]

Confucius, who are you?
u know me more than i do myself....
thanks for the advice,
some wonderful things u said

[Valarie]

Sweetie these things happen, there were times when I could not dress or I would tell myself I shouldn't. The important thing to remember is that you love who you are whether it is en femme or not because their is a lady in all of us you just have to channel that when you can't :)

[BillieJoEllen]

Part of my journey was 'violating' the rights of other girls. I didn't like that part and don't do that anymore. Of course now I probably wouldn't find any clothes to fit that way anyway.

[Rachelakld]

Hi Rah,
Probably easier to quit breathing, but good luck to you.

[Beverley Sims]

Rah,
I agree about your sisters clothes.

If you are going to be busy earning money you will then be able to afford clothes.

[Desirae]

It would be 100% impossible for any of us here to not have violated someone's privacy at some point in time in regard to wearing their clothes. ALL of us did it! No exceptions. How could a 5 or 6 or 7 year old go out and buy their own stuff? There may be a few exceptions today. I have seen a few shows on TV where TG children of 6 or 7 years old are being allowed to dress and live as their perceived gender. Their parents are supportive and have bought the child clothing that allows for this. But, even in these cases, at some point in time, the parents had to have seen their child's "interest" in the opposite gender clothing. So, we all have done it.

The only difference I'm suggesting to you as that no one told me I was doing that. That I was violating someone's privacy. I FINALLY realized that on my own. You just have the benefit (hopefully you see it that way) of the Internet and this forum and the years of experience that everyone on here possesses. We're able to suggest to you that this is, indeed, what it really is.

Hopefully, you'll be able to work something out that best for you and that works for you. Good luck.

[ChristinaXOXO]

Gonna be hard. I've been there, trust me. The urge and crave will kick in eventually.

[Adriana Moretti]

see you soon....

[Maria in heels]

Rah...don't worry about dressing in my mind. Yes, you may miss it, but its not the clothes that makes the girl

[DAVIDA]

You may quit dressing, for now, but you will always be a crossdresser.:)

[Marcelle]

Hi Rah,

As many have said, this may be harder than you think. Just remember that supressing a desire can be very hard on the psyche, I put my desires away over and over again during a 24 year period before I decided to just live Isha as best as I can. The constant supressing caused great confusion, anger and depression until I could not take it anymore. If you can put CDing away with no issues than I applaud you but please be honest with yourself and if it is causing you emotional distress then embrace it. There are ways to enjoy what we do without violating your sister's privacy. Even if you could afford one outfit and dress on occasion, you may find this is enough until the time comes that you can express that part of you on a more consistent basis.

I wish you luck in your journey.

Hugs

Isha

[hazelm]

Its always tough the first few years, when you are not independant, but look forward to the time when you'll be financially independant and will be able to buy your own things. It always kept me going when I couldn't dress.

[Launa]

Quitting is not going to be a problem for now. I would strongly urge and caution you if or when you enter into marriage or relationship to have the open conversation about this side of you.
I would make it clear about what you need to do or may need to do. Even if you seem to think the only amount of CDing you will ever need is to throw on a nightgown once and a while. There can come a time that you might want to go all out in public and I strongly encourage you to have this discussion so you don't have internal marriage problems over this.

Just look at all the problems the members have here.

Launa

[mykell]

rah,
cant or wont buy your own, dont know your whole situation but we're here to help.
dont think that any member here didnt think that they quit at one time or another only to be standing in front of mirror as a girl again.
see that you have been here for over a year, you must have learned to accept by now, if its finance you have thrift stores, privacy ive hid clothes all my life, shopping-buy most of my stuff while doing x-mas shopping. its for my auntie or my sister, gift cards are so cold and thoughtless.

but just dont make my mistake, be open to whomever you choose to live and "share" your life with, then you may do so with no regrets.

[katssun]

I "quit" for a period of about 10 years, maybe dressing three times total in that period, mostly due university and living at home while working. Also, I didn't fit very well in my sister's leftover clothes anymore, didn't have the courage to buy my own.

Now I dress pretty much every day.

Best wishes,
Kat

[Laura Collette]

Confucius, this is such thoughtful and good advice. I'm a shy married senior and am taking it to heart (all except the part about dating!)

[sandra-leigh]

Second hand stores, especially charity shops like Salvation Army, don't care what you are buying, and prices can be very inexpensive.

[Alice Torn]

One more thing. When one lives with family, or roommates, the desire to dress is far stronger, than when you finally have your own place. At least, that is how it has been for me, and some others on here. There is something about wanting the "forbidden fruit" , but, when we finally have our own clothes, and place, the desire is not as strong, and we can go days, or weeks without it! Human nature. Who can know it!?

[Vickie_CDTV]

It would be 100% impossible for any of us here to not have violated someone's privacy at some point in time in regard to wearing their clothes. ALL of us did it! No exceptions. How could a 5 or 6 or 7 year old go out and buy their own stuff? There may be a few exceptions today. So, we all have done it.


That is true, but if you have read previous posts, they were borrowing their sisters more intimate items while they were in their 20s, which is totally unacceptable. It is one thing for someone as a child to do it, but a full-grown adult is another.

[LaraPeterson]

Dear Rah, please give heed to all the replies here about quitting, only to take it up again. Unless your experience is much different from most of us, you will likely come and go throughout your life. If I had kept all the stuff I've purged over the years, I could open my own second-hand store.

Our stripe has a million and one colors in it, many more than a rainbow. One thing is for sure, the CD's here will always support you, no matter what. For that, I am very thankful. Stay close, try not to feel guilty, and love those who love you. Always count the cost of your decisions, and be careful to try not to hurt those around you.

[Desirae]

That is true, but if you have read previous posts, they were borrowing their sisters more intimate items while they were in their 20s, which is totally unacceptable. It is one thing for someone as a child to do it, but a full-grown adult is another.


I agree with you. But, maybe I missed it, but I don't get the impression that Rah is in her mid twenties. To me she came off to me as a teenager. I may be wrong about that. Additionally, people mature at different levels and ages. I'm sure the idea of violating someone's privacy would would occur to Rah, or any other, eventually. Even then, it isn't a crime, it's a lack of good judgment and decency. How many adults do you know, or have heard of, lack good judgment and decency? It's not a good thing to do. I agree with that. I just don't want to be overblown about what it is. There are far worse things someone can do. I think it's best kept in perspective.

[Ciara Brianne]

Like most others, I have had this thought too. I agree with the invasion of privacy, I've done it and still feel bad about it. It is the past and I cannot change that. I have purged several times. I have tried to resist the urge. I found that purging and trying to deny who I am led to insane binges that. I have finally found a balance through acceptance of who I really am. Without the girl side I am not whole and to deny that side leads me to emotional chaos. I accept both sides of me, but I realize I don't have to dress all the time to do so. As time goes on I think about it less and less as sides of me and more of it as just me

Ciara

[Adriana Moretti]

well said ciara

[kristy321ca]

I've wanted to quit, and every time I decide it's time I just end up accumulating more clothes. I don't know why.