I Should have been born a female/I was...

[Wildaboutheels]

born into the wrong body. Both statements a common train of thought around here along with Guilt and Shame of course.

Which brings about TWO Qs.

One, when people utter that, do you mean you would have your male equipment removed if money were NO object? "Maybe" is not an acceptable answer.

2] Do you realize any/some/all of the "advantages" of being born a male you would give up?

Bonus Q for those that HAVE transitioned or are IN the process. Anything/s about being male do you miss? Or maybe perhaps never even thought about or considered until you were "well on your way"?

[Lucy_Bella]

Wild,
I've often said on here that if I was born a female I would have an addiction to male clothing ..This is what I was dealt so, I have to make the best of it and try not to let it stress me out by the should haves or the would haves..:)

[RenneB]

I'm sure I was 'born this way' for a reason.... still not sure why though. I will say that after over five decades on this rock, if I had known that I wasn't the only one born this way (ya know life before the 'net) I would have made the switch a long time ago. Back then, we didn't have access to all the information we have now and just kept our voices repressed.

I'm sure there are advantages and disadvantages being born either sex.... For me though, I really don't care for this six of one and half a dozen of another. I'd rather have just picked a side and stuck with it.... not somewhere in the middle... oh well, maybe the next time around things will be different.....

Renne......

[Valarie]

Well money is a factor, it always is. But I think now I am more comfortable as me, I told my wife if I had the choice in the womb I would have chosen female. I think it is more my family that would keep me from going through with that. I would miss my penis I think.

[KayleeTaylor]

One, when people utter that, do you mean you would have your male equipment removed if money were NO object? "Maybe" is not an acceptable answer.

Yes I would, it has always been a hindrance, it has always been in the way, it does not give me any pleasure or satisfaction and the last time it was used for anything other than using the bathroom was over 8 years ago.And even then, I don't remember anything pleasurable about my last sexual experience.


Do you realize any/some/all of the "advantages" of being born a male you would give up?

I don't see or haven't experienced any advantages at all. I have never saw past my own depression and loneliness to really enjoy what being male has to offer. This has caused me to not be in relationships for very long and lately, I have always been the one to break up with the other person.

I am in counseling now, so I am starting to see hope in the future.

[Angela Campbell]

One, when people utter that, do you mean you would have your male equipment removed if money were NO object? "Maybe" is not an acceptable answer.

2] Do you realize any/some/all of the "advantages" of being born a male you would give up?

Bonus Q for those that HAVE transitioned or are IN the process. Anything/s about being male do you miss? Or maybe perhaps never even thought about or considered until you were "well on your way"?

Ok...number 1.
Yes no matter the price the "equipment" will be dealt with. In truth very little is removed, it is mostly re arranged. But yes I will have SRS.

Number 2...
There are no advantages to being a male I have been able to determine. There are differences, but not advantages. I am giving up nothing.

Number 3 (bonus)
I miss nothing, I cannot wait until I can forget as much as I can about that life.

[Donna June]

Yes to "the removal" if money were no object..The few advantages of being a male? Give 'em up in a minute. The things I enjoy, hiking, camping and nature photography, music (I play keyboards and percussion) can be done equally as a guy or a gal. I'd rather do it as a girl.

[LelaK]

The only male thing I'd be reluctant to part with is the ability to experience orgasm.

However, although I'd love to look and feel female, I'd want to be assured of having long-term female companionship before I'd consider transitioning. If the prospects were poor for finding compatible female companionship, transitioning would likely seem not worthwhile. Then again, I suppose I might be able to warm up to another transsexual.

[Angela Campbell]

The ability to experience orgasm? Why would you have to give that up? I won't.

[jenni_xx]

Wild,
I've often said on here that if I was born a female I would have an addiction to male clothing

That raises an interesting thought. Could it possibly be that we'd be transgender irrespective of our birth gender?

If we were born female, with the same conscious/subconcious thoughts, would we, as individuals, then feel an attraction to wearing male clothes?

I ask that question, because it's one I've never pondered before, that is, before reading Lucy's post.

[LilSissyStevie]

When I started wanting to be a girl in my childhood it had nothing to do with genitalia. It had more to do with the social roles that girls occupied as opposed to the expectations that were put upon me as a boy. Being a girl just seemed to be a better fit for my personality. As a boy, I was a failure. I doubt that I would consider SRS even if it were free, not because I'm emotionally attached to my junk or because it defines my gender identity, but because I'm mostly indifferent to it. I do, however, think that putting the urethra at the end of a hose is a better design. Presenting as a male is also helpful when dealing with doctors and auto mechanics.

[rocval2001]

I agree with Donna June - even though there may be some advantages as a male - I would give them up in a second. Women are just as successful in my profession as the males, and they get to wear much better looking clothing.

[Zylia]

I don't get some of these reactions. If I really felt like a woman trapped inside a man's body I wouldn't make money an issue. I'd probably give up just about everything to be myself. Life's too short for woulda coulda shoulda.

I honestly don't know if I don't have any gender issues at all, but I do know I'm not 'dysphoric' enough to even consider something as radical or inherently life-changing as SRT. Money isn't an issue, my social life isn't an issue, my job isn't an issue, my personal doubt IS an issue.

[PaulaQ]

One, when people utter that, do you mean you would have your male equipment removed if money were NO object? "Maybe" is not an acceptable answer.

Why is "maybe" not an acceptable answer. For what it's worth, I know a fair number of non-op trans women, or trans women who get SRS years after completing transition. Sometimes what's in your pants is just not the thing that bothers you the most.

Also, they don't remove it - so realistically, the only answer to your question, with the exception of certain fetishists, is "no." One surgery option that many choose *is* to have an orchiectomy, which is having your testicles removed. There are a variety of reasons a trans woman would choose this as an option for herself.

As for me:

1. Yes, I am already talking to a doctor about SRS. I'm going to get it done this time next year, if I can possibly get it through the bureaucracy I'll have to deal with and getting it scheduled.

2. Yep. Male privilege is a big advantage. The only people who get treated worse by the world in general than young women are young trans women.

Bonus Q. So far, the only thing I miss is upper body strength - I'm losing mine with HRT. Not much else I miss - I hated being a guy.

@LelaK - there are plenty of lesbians, both trans and cis, who are fine with having a relationship with a trans woman.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Well I don't think I was born into the wrong body, or want to switch. BUT, I wouldn't mind having a "smoother" outline, I've often wished I could get a fully "retractable" model. Something that would become a neat and mostly unobtrusive bulge. Also the ability to control unwanted or embarrassing reactions. Though, to be honest, it's been a while since that was much of a problem.....:brolleyes: I'm quite happy having male genitalia, I'm just slightly jealous of some of the advantages that women have in that regard. Switch? No way! I'm only slightly jealous, and I quite understand that the female version comes with a different set of issues which I want no part of!

[JessMe]

It's not so much the cost, monetarily speaking, that stops me from considering transition (there actually isn't a lot that's "removed", so much as repurposed... it's all homologous tissue, after all.), but the true COST, in friends, family, and the ability to live a "normal" life that stops me. ...even if I could blend seamlessly into normal everyday life as a woman, I still wouldn't have the people that mean more to me than being myself. As to the advantages of being male, I won't deny their existence, but there are disadvantages as well. The grass ain't always greener... that is unless you are willing to graze around the shit.

[LaraPeterson]

It took a long time for me to figure it out, but I WAS born into the wrong body. And, since money is not a problem for me, if I live long enough, I'll have my plumbing changed.

Life is only advantageous for those who make it so. Growing up poor taught me to work hard and to "take" advantage of every opportunity in life. Applying a good work ethic has made it possible for me to afford most anything I desire--so if you're talking about that sort of advantage, I see nothing to give up.

If I could magically become a GG today, I am certain I would miss nothing about maleness. Maybe some day some of us will get to find out.

[Aly Cat]

If and when I have the money....I will be re-purposing that area. I hate having it and other than peeing standing up (which I rarely do anyways) I see no other advantage to having it. Its ugly, awkward, and obtrusive.

Everything I can do as a man, I can also do as a woman. Everywhere Ive worked, women hold the same positions I do. The world of equality is coming closer and closer between the sexes and I see no advantage to being a man.

Bonus Q....ask me in a few months when Im on my way....

[kimdl93]

Maybe seems a perfectly valid answer, don't you think? If money were no object, there may be other reasonable caveats, like an aversion to pain at a minimum, concern about infection...no small risk in surgical procedures. Indecision is a good thing...far better than acting on impulse. It gives a person time to sort things out.

As for number two, male advantage I'd be willing to forgo. But advancing age is eroding those I possess anyway.

[JessMe]

If I could magically become a GG today, I am certain I would miss nothing about maleness. Maybe some day some of us will get to find out.
Well said! ...I feel the same, but I recognize that at 6'2", and being wedge shaped, I'd be a very awkward and unattractive female. I WANT to be a regular girl, yes. If magic were real, and unicorns really could fart fairy dust, I'd make the change and never look back, but for me, at least this time around, that's not a conceivable happy ending.

[wilt575]

Well I don't think I was born into the wrong body, or want to switch. BUT, I wouldn't mind having a "smoother" outline, I've often wished I could get a fully "retractable" model. Something that would become a neat and mostly unobtrusive bulge. Also the ability to control unwanted or embarrassing reactions. Though, to be honest, it's been a while since that was much of a problem.....:brolleyes: I'm quite happy having male genitalia, I'm just slightly jealous of some of the advantages that women have in that regard. Switch? No way! I'm only slightly jealous, and I quite understand that the female version comes with a different set of issues which I want no part of!

I am very jealous, don't know the different set of issues a female verson comes with. I'm sure I could deal with it, women do every day, might learn to enjoy them. Being male isn't easy every day. Money is my only hold up now, pray to hit lottery.

[Beverley Sims]

I thought a little like this sometime.
I felt I was a hermaphrodite more than anything.

[weyburn]

For me money is not the issue it is age and all the or riches can't change that one.Knowing what I know now if I was considerably younger I would change it all so for now I will settle for having breast implants

[mary something]

to answer this question well it is first important to question some assumptions. It will be difficult at best for you to understand the relationship I have with my body if you aren't also TS. My best understanding of myself at this time is that if my body were unquestionably female I would feel much less anxiety, especially around other people.

Of course I realize that being born a male is an advantageous thing in our society. Even living in a male role is advantageous in ways, there are MANY priviliges that this entails. The problem is that I was not born male, I was born transsexual.

To wish that I was something else than exactly what I am only leads to unhappiness. It is much better to accept the things that cannot be changed and change the things that can be and to have the wisdom to know which is which.

I will not miss very much about being seen by others as male. The societal perks of being male I might miss most likely but it is a very small thing to lose for a chance at feeling normal and complete.

I do not wish to have anything "removed" from my body except two small parts that produce testosterone. Would I have my tissues reorganized in a way that will make me feel authentic and will not cause others and myself to see that area as male anymore? yes.

None of this is about becoming something different. It is about changing the things that are changeable so that being who you are is less painful.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I am very jealous, don't know the different set of issues a female verson comes with. I'm sure I could deal with it, women do every day, might learn to enjoy them. Well, if you do decide to switch, most of the issues aren't going to be a problem, medical advancements haven't reached the point where SRS makes you into a fully functioning female. But I do warn you not to mention that attitude to a GG who is having a bad case of cramps. At best, you're going to be snarled at.

[JuliaC]

I honestly don't know if I don't have any gender issues at all, but I do know I'm not 'dysphoric' enough to even consider something as radical or inherently life-changing as SRT. Money isn't an issue, my social life isn't an issue, my job isn't an issue, my personal doubt IS an issue.

I have the same issue with doubt...I sometimes really feel like I should transition but I have a lot of personal doubt

[JuliaM]

Money, family, work aside...I'd be on hormones and get implants, keeping the male parts. Living and functioning (and passing) as a GG but with a male secret would be the best of everything.

Just turned 40...had I known myself this way 10 years ago I definitely would have tried to make it happen.

[Justine Dawn]

but the true COST, in friends, family, and the ability to live a "normal" life that stops me. ...even if I could blend seamlessly into normal everyday life as a woman, I still wouldn't have the people that mean more to me than being myself..

Well said JessMe; there is much to take into account beside the $. Perhaps if my parents had not ignored the obvious when I was little, I might be a girl now. But back in the early 60's that wasn't something that was talked about (at least in my parent's world). Now I know that my desires aren't the only consideration, and that the cost would be too high.
I must say though, that in a perfect magical unicorn farting world, I'd be first in line to lose the gear and give up any so-called advantages of being a male.

[PaulaQ]

Well, if you do decide to switch, most of the issues aren't going to be a problem, medical advancements haven't reached the point where SRS makes you into a fully functioning female. But I do warn you not to mention that attitude to a GG who is having a bad case of cramps. At best, you're going to be snarled at.

Its really cute reading some of the responses about what the biggest issues are when you transition, as if you were trying to decide between buying a Mercedes or a BMW. :)

I mean no offense - it is difficult to imagine life without male privilege. You kind of have to experience it for yourself. Ultimately, though, trans women are at the very rock bottom of the social order. I'm not trying to be negative or scare people away- just trying to tell y'all a hard truth.

[Desirae]

Yes, if I were much younger and money was not an issue, I would get rid of (ya, I know, it's not really getting rid of it, so to speak) this male junk in an instant. But, I would have wanted to start transition before puberty with T blockers. Giving up any of the advantages of being male would not be of any consideration to me. It's a "if I only knew then" kind of thing. Give me another go around and I'll get it right this time. I wouldn't miss a thing about being male.

[linda allen]

There is the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." I think it applies here. There are females who wish they were born male and some of them follow through with it just as some males have surgery to change their bodies to female.

Time spent wishing things had been different is time wasted. You have to make do with what you have. I've often wondered if the ones who have had all the surgery find that it solves all their problems or if it just brings different problems into their lives.

[Jaylyn]

Not a good answer to this question. I enjoy the CD but I also enjoy being a grandpa to the Grandkids. I feel they also need a male model or role player in their life. My four children all turned out being successes in their lives because I was a good daddy to them. Their mom and I kept them in every activity in school and church every Sunday. My three daughters and son have now blessed me with nine of the most beautiful Grandkids and grandpa would want. They already have the best grandma they could have and really don't need two. Now with that being said I love my life. I'm retired with enough money to live comfortably. I enjoy my hobbies of hunting, fishing, wood working, remodeling my home, my animals, I enjoy visiting with the old friends and talking about good old days. Just being able to enjoy my happy life as I am. I wouldn't change anything. Even at my age the sex with my wife is great. She lets me be a woman when I want also. I find that I can get up and dress on some days or go to the farm and be a man all day if I choose. Since I'm older I don't think my body would make the change very well anyway. Only advantage I can see is maybe I could then go out dressed as a woman. I don't think I would a pretty one but I guess I could dress and go out now as not a very pretty one so why change. Think there is differences though in the work place still wether a female or male. One day every one will be equal I hope but probably not in my lifetime. There are problems in both bodies but that's more societal problems not the sex one is. In answer to your questions money's not a problem and no I wouldn't change.

[sarahspinkdress]

"I wish I'd been born a girl."

I say that literally every day. (and I'm picky about people using "literally" when it's not true)

But for me, it wouldn't make me happy to try and change from a boy into a true girl. I just don't believe that's possible, maybe someday, but I don't think we're there yet. I wish I could have been born a girl because that's the person I'm supposed to be and I guess in my mind "born a girl" and "turned into a girl" don't work the same way. Makes life difficult and unsatisfying to think the way I do though, I don't recommend it :P