Coming out as straight

[PaulaQ]

Only in transville would I have to do this.

So ordinarily, I don't think it's really necessary for most people to come out if they are straight - it's sort of the default assumption. But everyone sort of assumed I was a lesbian - I thought that was a likely outcome at first too.

But after 4 months on HRT, my orientation changed. I really used to like girls, wasn't interested in men. I spent many years chasing after, sometimes catching, lots of times missing girls. I've been married to two of them, the last for 17 years.

Now? Suddenly attractive women just do nothing for me - although I look at them to get ideas about clothing, makeup, things like that. But I'm about as boy-crazy as any hormonal teenage girl I've ever known.

So now, I find when I talk about my interest in dating in TG support groups, I find that some of the girls are kind of shocked that I'd want to date a man. I mean - they are men - yuck! I hear that a lot. Usually someone else will chime in "I've kind of thought about men a couple of times lately." (This never fails to happen too.)

When I talk to cis-people about it, I've found that I generally get two reactions:
female friends - well OF COURSE you like guys - you are a woman! (Hey ladies, there really are lesbians, I'm just not one of them seemingly...)

male friends - Hmmm... How is it not gay sex if you do it with another dude?

My kids are pretty confused by it.

I mean, none of this is bad or anything, in fact I find it pretty amusing and ironic that I have to explain "but I'm straight!"

Only in transville, where up is down.

Anyone else get these kinds of reactions?

[Marleena]

My kids are pretty confused by it.


Actually I understand why your kids and you wife would be confused by all of it. In the short time you've been here I've never seen so much going on in one person's life. It has my head spinning at times. Now your sexual preference has changed too. You seem happier now so that's a good thing.

No... my sexual orientation has not changed.

[stefan37]

You are just getting out of am emotional relationship. Why not concentrate on you and your transition. Don't even think about dating or orientation. You have enough on your plate

[PaulaQ]

@Marleena - oh I won't talk to my wife about this until after we're divorced, which I'll start early in January. And maybe until after I have SRS. And after I get married again. And about 10 years go by...

@stefan37 - hey, my hormones are driving the bus - I'm apparently just along for the ride. Wheeee! Seriously, I've about wrecked my damn car once or twice craning my head around to see some really cute guy. I wasn't really looking for this at all - but oh my goodness I sure seem to have it. I have no idea what I'll do about it, or even how to go about meeting a nice guy to date. I just know that I want to do that. Believe you me - it was a surprise to me too!

[Ann Louise]

I still appreciate a beautiful female, although more and more it's based on comparisons of hair styles, sense of fashion, and demeanor, but there definitely are a few men who I'm finding more attractive each passing day. The Joe Blow's in baggy pants, a sideways ballcap, and a "gansta" swagger have always been total losers to me, as have the macho gold-chain set, but a fit, intelligent, well-dressed and well-mannered man? Whoa!

Big Smiles, Ann

[Barbara Ella]

I guess I am of such an age, that even after a year of HRT, I am still very much into my wife. I look at others of all sexes, but have little interest. Lack of sexual drive factors in also. My wife is the only one I would do.

Barbara

[PaulaQ]

It's OK to be a lesbian, Barbara Ella - most of us are! <3

[PaulaQ]

Yeah Angela, you may well not change. You may develop more of a sex drive after srs, I've heard about that happening from several women. You may not though. Feel free to pity me for liking guys - I'm like the poor, poor woman in this heartbreaking song of lament:

I spent my last ten dollars on birth control and beer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkRVodqIcvs)

Crying in your beer country music, at it's finest! Stupid strong hairy-legged men!!! ;)

[Leah Lynn]

I'm still attracted to females, but I'm not looking for any kind of relationship now. I'm never going to be a hottie, so I'll never attract a man, and while transitioning, I couldn't satisfy a woman in the normal way. (I do have a very talented tongue, though.)

Leah

[Rachel Smith]

I went from bi-sexual to non-sexual but I think the bi stuff was just the GD and me looking for a place to fit in. Don't get me wrong I still need to be held, kissed and caressed by a woman and do the same but as far as sex I could care less. Like the others here I look at women differently now hair and fashion to possibly see what may work for me. Oh and boobs I get so jealous. Just the other day I saw a woman with perfect "B" cups and thought, "Damn I can only wish" then wondered if I would ever look like that.

Rachel

[tori-e]

One of the weirdest things that happened to me was about a year or so after I transitioned I was out for a walk in my neighborhood. It was early morning, sunny summer day. This attractive shirtless man walks out of his house and into his garden with a cup of coffee. This little voice in my head goes, "OMG!:battingeyelashes:". Then another little voice goes, "What?! Who said that???"

It was the first time I realized that my sexuality had shifted. It still freaks me out.:)

Victoria

[Kathryn Martin]

You seem to have a virtual coming out rush going on right now, first on facebook people now know you are a gurl, now that you are straight, wow..... and all that after four months on hormones.

[melissaK]

Straight??? :doh: What about being TG/TS is straight?

- For sure nothing we do is straight forward, at least not until we're in the home straights of transition.
- And nothing we do is done straight away, transition takes FOREVER.
- Mostly our lives are in desperate need of straightening up, especially in wardrobe. I mean we now have to decide long straight hair or curly, straight leg jeans or capri's, blouse with straight stitch or running stitch seams? Ugh!
- The Moral Majority is sure we're going straight to hell, because we can't keep on the straight and narrow to save us, although more than some of us have been scared straight by them for at least a while.
- Straight edge punker's don't get us, at least not the one's I know.
- And few think of us as straight shooters, I mean we always have secrets.
- Really, who among us is labelled a straight arrow by our friends or co-workers?

- But, we always do seem to be in dire straights.
- And we can lie with a straight face ("Honey, I'm just a cross-dresser, honest")

- So if you wanna be thought of as sexually straight in your orientation I guess you're gonna have to get everyone you meet set straight, straight away!
- Give 'em the straight dope, straight off the bat!!
- Get straight to the point with 'em.!

:heehee:

[mary something]

'lissa it's nice to see you straighten this out for us :hugs: :fp:
Paula- do you anticipate this announcement to help people understand you better or do you think it might confuse them even more? Are you strong and healthy enough right now to face additional criticism or skepticism from others? When the dog catches this truck are you gonna know what to do with it? Meaning are you intentionally trying to limit yourself to only being in a relationship with people who will consider a TS person 4 months into physical transition as straight?

right or wrong if you're male bodied and in a relationship with another male bodied person just about every other "straight" person on earth (besides you) will most likely think that your actions indicate you're homosexual and in denial. I'm not saying this is true, but you can't change the entire world's feelings no matter how eloquently you argue your point.

Wouldn't this just invalidate your gender identity even more? You're very ambitious, careful roping that shark so soon.

[Badtranny]

It's certainly been an eventful 4 months.

After my first 4 months I was asking the doctor when I would start seeing some changes. I'm kinda jelly of you girls that get all this fun stuff happening, almost like a magic potion or something.

[gonegirl]

You seem to have a virtual coming out rush going on right now, first on facebook people now know you are a gurl, now that you are straight, wow..... and all that after four months on hormones.

I guess I never got the 4 month memo about this happening to me....

[Rianna Humble]

After my first 4 months I was asking the doctor when I would start seeing some changes.

Isn't it great that we don't all have exactly the same experiences as each other running to a strict timetable but that we are all (gasp!) individuals with our own unique experience of transition?

[Badtranny]

What? I'm not allowed to be jealous?

All I'm saying is that HRT didn't do much for me. Perhaps it was my advanced age of 42.

[mary something]

let us be the judge of that Melissa cause I think you look pretty darn good! we can sometimes be our own worst critics, I've been mine for sure. I've read your site, that early pic of you at santacon was hot, and you did NOT look like a guy, you looked like a woman who had experienced a little too much T for too long.

[PaulaQ]

@Badtranny - you are allowed to be jealous as far as I'm concerned, Misty. I doubt it was your age - I'm 50. One of my close friends is under the same protocol as I am, with the same doctor. She hasn't seen very good results. She's a good 15 years younger than me. She's changing docs, and protocols, which I think is appropriate, as she isn't getting much benefit from the exact same stuff I'm using. It's a roll of the dice, what can you say?

Most of the changes I've noticed have been emotional, and mostly those have been good - my GP, who's known me 30 years and who was scared as hell about my emotional state was shocked by how much better I'm doing emotionally. HRT did MUCH more for my emotional state in 3-4 months than anti-depressants did in 8. I'm really happy for that - because I wasn't sure I was going to be around by this time this year. I felt I had about a 50/50 shot at it. But here I am.



first on facebook people now know you are a gurl, now that you are straight

I take strong exception to being called a gurl. Here's the definition #2 from urban dictionary.com:

A transvestite or drag queen who enjoys flaunting it and having a good time
I am a woman not a gurl.
I'll answer to the following terms:
girl
woman
lady
bitch
trans woman
tranny
sister
mom
aunt

If you were implying the first definition:

the way of spelling girl, favored by girls below the age of 14 or dyslexics.
then you simply fail at slang, and kind of pissed me off.


STRAIGHT? You gotta be kidding me.
...
Straight??? What about being TG/TS is straight?


Thanks for getting the joke, MelissaK! Yeah, I know, right, what a laugh! I think this is hilarious for a couple of reasons:
1. The notion that I'd feel the need to inform people "uh, I am a woman who likes guys" strikes me as the funniest damn thing ever. The inversion of a normal situation is just too funny.
2. And you are right on point - there is nothing straight about being TG/TS. Not. One. Thing. At least not for me. You know what? Sure, I dream of being 18, transitioning, and leading a pretty heteronormative life. Hey, it's what I've been socialized for - albeit as a male. It's what I know. But I missed that ship by 32 years now, and it's sailed far, far away. So instead of being a cute young girl in college, finding a boyfriend, and getting married in the park and moving to North Plano - I'm a 50 year old tranny living in the gayborhood. My neighbors and new friends are all over the LGBT spectrum. If I can find a man to date me (best I can tell, liking dudes = get used to loneliness), well, most of the men my age in Dallas are not exactly going to be all that thrilled to date a trans woman - so by the standards of Dallas, he won't be exactly "straight" either.

So sure, I'd like to live a life like my sister had. (We'll ignore for the moment the time her husband pushed her out of a moving car.) But that isn't going to happen, and the life I actually lead, and expect to enjoy, will likely be very far from heteronormative. Hey, hopefully at some point I'll find a nice dude - and walking someplace with him will be about the most normal appearing thing about my life in the future.

And given how I walk - even that is not all that normal.

I've grieved over this some - I really do want the life of a "normal" woman. But even if I magically got that, starting at age 50, most of the straight girls who are my girlfriends are divorced, and lonely. So maybe I don't want that so much after all. It doesn't look like much fun, at this point. So I guess I'll just have to learn to deal with being kind of queer, and having an unusual life. Should be interesting anyway - it has been so far.

Oh, hey - it's always possible that perhaps I was just gay or bisexual, and in the closet all those years, but now that I've come out as trans, it was easier to accept that about myself. Full disclosure - I've slept with and chased after and been married to women all my life. I've had zero crushes on guys up until now. Attractive men never really caught my attention before, until recently. I tried to make out with exactly ONE guy - it was in high school, and we were both plastered out of our minds. Nothing happened, my fumbling drunken advance was rebuffed. We treated it like a ufo sighting.

But I told my therapist that I'd always had attractions to men before - it was what she wanted to hear, and I want my damned letters. So if that's what you want to hear - then feel free to believe it. Heck, maybe it's true even - it really makes no difference to me, either way. It is what it is, and it surprised the hell out of me, but not in an unpleasant way.

[Kimberly Kael]

I find the terms "straight" and "gay" to be particularly unfortunate for anyone with a non-traditional gender identity. It would be so much simpler if we could just use androphile and gynophile. Of course, I find it extremely handy to be able to describe my orientation and identity together using "lesbian", but that's convenient only for some. There aren't nice, neat comparable labels for other fairly common combinations.

[FurPus63]

"Now? Suddenly attractive women just do nothing for me - although I look at them to get ideas about clothing, makeup, things like that. But I'm about as boy-crazy as any hormonal teenage girl I've ever known." Paula Q.

Paula; I know exactly what you mean when you say this. I too was married twice to women. Dated Women. Loved women sexually for over 40 years! Now? I've been taking hormones and on HRT for 19 months and aproximately four months into it, I began to become so "boy crazy," I thought I was going insaine! Now I live with a man. I love kissing him! If someone would have told me two or three years ago that I was going to enjoy kissing men, I would have told them they were nuts! It blows my mind away! Yet it's my reality. I have to accept it, because it's just the way it is.

So now, I see myself as a heterosexual woman. I enjoy my feelings and my sensual/sexual/intimate relations with men because I am a woman. I'm certainly NOT a gay man. So blame it on hormones. To me it's the only explaination. I know this doesn't happen to everyone who is a t-girl and starts HRT. I've spent enough time on this website, reading posts to know that it just doesn't happen to us all. It does happen though. It's happened to me, and I'm glad to read it's happened to you too. So it must be true. It does happen to some of us. Our sexual orientation does seem to change with the addition of estrogeon into the system. Why it doesn't happen to everyone? I don't know. That's a mystery to me. I can only speak for myself.

Thanks for posting this. I am so glad to see someone else has had this experience.

Paulette

[KellyJameson]

I would urge a wait and see approach about where this all ends up. You may find your awareness of men as a woman was always there but you pushed it down.

A transsexual relates to men and women both and it is in both that our identity is experienced so what you think may be sex could also be your identity experienced against the other gender as "men"

It is very easy to tangle up sexual identity with gender identity

Being transsexual is living in a state of flux and this state of flux intensifies once you consciously are able to identify as transsexual.

It is like taking everything stored out of sight in the basement and moving it all up into your bedroom.

It takes time to "identify" what is going on.

Let the transition take you where it may to show you "it's truth" instead of trying to control it by labelling it.

Think of it like being carried down a long winding river in a raft by the currents and waiting to see what you shall see.

Trust your subconscious because it knows the truth.

Let the transition make you which is really already there waiting to come out instead of you making the transition.

[Rachel Smith]

Geez.....I guess I should not expect much.....I started at 55.

I started at 57 and while I don't "expect" much I can dream can't I. Either way I will be happy however they turn out. The will not be enhanced, se la vie say the old folks.lol

Rachel

[gonegirl]

I take strong exception to being called a gurl. Here's the definition #2 from urban dictionary.com: (Edit*:definition not quoted because it is offensive in this context)

I am a woman not a gurl.
I'll answer to the following terms: girl, woman, lady, bitch, trans woman, tranny, sister, mom, aunt

If you were implying the first definition:

"the way of spelling girl, favored by girls below the age of 14 or dyslexics."

then you simply fail at slang, and kind of pissed me off.


To be fair, Paula, I think you set yourself up for that pretty well....
(from this same thread)

But I'm about as boy-crazy as any hormonal teenage girl I've ever known.

[Rianna Humble]

All members of the forum have the right to post and reply to posts and generally take advantage of the features of the forum without abuse from other members.

[Ann Louise]

It is like taking everything stored out of sight in the basement and moving it all up into your bedroom...

Gosh, and think of all the boxes of junk that'd be scattered and piled all over! Sorting through all that? It takes me like months to move a room of stuff like that. How long would or could this take?

One thing that I'm so relieved about, even at my age when matters of sexual attraction are rather more conceptual (darn it) than perhaps they were truly actionable several years ago, is that I still LOVE the idea of loving and being loved, holding another warm, thinking, caring being closely and being intimate and nurtured and cared for, desired for who I am, and sought after to the exclusion of others.

Call it "straight sex," if you will. Call it homo, hetero, andro. WTF ever you want to call it, I'm thinking I'll call it a sure sign of recovery from ongoing years of a hell of a nightmare, and am so thankful that it seems to be ending.

So it's dinners, dancing, early breakfasts in our pj's over nice cups of tea, long walks in the morning sun, slow lazy vacations, and long, meaningless phone conversations about nothing in particular? Yes indeed.

Love to us all,

)0( Ann )0(

[Michelle.M]

So now, I find when I talk about my interest in dating in TG support groups, I find that some of the girls are kind of shocked that I'd want to date a man. I mean - they are men - yuck! I hear that a lot.

Yeah, I’ve seen that in groups and in online forums as well. When I ask this question in groups I meet about 40% who identify as transbian, but I hasten to point out that this is not a scientific poll. It’s only the observed average in informal conversations, and results in other groups may be radically different.

Of course, if someone identifies as trans lesbian then that’s great, but the anti-hetero shock (and sometimes hostility) always gets my attention. Some of these voices are rather critical, as if there’s something wrong with any trans woman who likes men.

I attribute this to any of several possible issues:

- Some people are strongly committed to the idea of strictly established sexual orientation and are not open to the idea that someone might broaden their experiences at different life stages. Sort of a reverse homophobia. Is there such a thing as heterophobia?

- Some people have this notion that if something is true for them then it’s true for everyone, and anyone who denies this is being deceitful. This is not limited to trans people and sexual orientation.

- Some people have been treated very badly by men with physical abuse, sexual exploitation, discrimination, etc. Kinda stands to reason that someone who’s been mistreated like this would have a natural antipathy towards men, and the idea of having an intimate relationship with a man is repulsive.

- Some people may be wrestling with their own self-loathing of their former male life and body. The idea of being intimate with someone who has a male body is equally loathsome.

And of course, some people are just saying "WTF?"


No... my sexual preference has not changed.

Neither has mine. I was heterosexual and I still am.


All I'm saying is that HRT didn't do much for me. Perhaps it was my advanced age of 42.

Advanced age! LOL! I've got stuff in my purse that's older than you!

I started HRT at age 54, and it caused a whole lot of changes for me! Remember, everyone’s body reacts differently. Didn’t quite happen at 4 months, though. Well, except for Mr Happy getting lazy on me almost from the get-go.


Most of the changes I've noticed have been emotional, and mostly those have been good

Same here, but I do not attribute it so much to HRT as I do to finally admitting to myself who I am and giving myself the freedom to be myself and to enjoy life. No longer having to suppress myself to fit into an image that isn’t me has gone a long way toward creating positive changes in my life. Of, the body changes have a validating effect as well, so it all kinda goes hand-in-hand.

[Rianna Humble]

No... my sexual preference has not changed.
Neither has mine. I was heterosexual and I still am.

Don't you think it is time to put that joke to bed?

If you want to claim that your sexual orientation has not changed, then yes you can make an argument for that. However, if as a man your orientation was heterosexual, then your preference was for women and now that you are a woman, to be heterosexual your preference would have to be for men. So I'm sorry, your preference has changed if your orientation has not.

[Marleena]

Yes I had to look it up...My orientation has not changed. I thought they meant the same thing.

My apologies.. and I do feel dumb.

[Michelle.M]

Don't you think it is time to put that joke to bed?

It's not a joke. Too bad that you think so.


If you want to claim that your sexual orientation has not changed, then yes you can make an argument for that. However, if as a man your orientation was heterosexual, then your preference was for women and now that you are a woman, to be heterosexual your preference would have to be for men. So I'm sorry, your preference has changed if your orientation has not.

Thanks. I had some nits that needed to be picked and it looks like you've taken care of them!


Yes I had to look it up...My orientation has not changed. I thought they meant the same thing.

My apologies.. and I do feel dumb.

No need to apologize to anyone nor to feel dumb.

[DeeDee1974]

I don't think my orientation changed, I just think my transition allowed me to fully accept myself. I think a lot of us probably spent a lot of time doing things to try to fit in as men. I for one have two failed marriages to women. These were beautiful successful women, but yet I did not feel the need to be overly physical with these women. And when I was physical I imagined myself in the female role.

I still remember the first time I saw my boyfriend 2 years ago. I finally understood the whole butterflies feeling. And for the first time in my life I look forward to getting physical.

[PaulaQ]

Do realize that the title of this post was intended to be a little bit of a joke, although a part of me really wanted to take it seriously. (In my neighborhood, I like to joke that there are some closeted straight people who live here...)

Upon further reflection though, some of you in this thread asked the question "hmmm - how are any of us exactly straight? Some of us may like men, but if "straight" refers to the denizens of the heteronormative world, well, that ain't really us?"

And you know, yeah, you have a point. I don't really belong in the vanilla hetero world. I don't know really where I belong, although I sure seem to like men. But I've been with women for my whole life before this - so maybe I just like people who I find attractive. Anyway, "straight" doesn't feel all that applicable to me - it carries a ton of assumptions with it, many of which simply don't apply to me. So I guess I'll just eschew gender relative labels altogether.

[PaulaQ]

So ... I had one brief, and surprisingly awful online "thing" with a guy. I had one surprisingly awful date with a guy who we'll just refer to as "gluten boy". (Celiac disease is a serious condition, and not to be made fun of. However, if you are going to go on a date with a trans woman, and not pickup the tab on dinner, and if the highlight of the evening is discussing your intestinal condition and food allergies, please understand that I WILL make fun of you.)

Anyway, I'm in a relationship now, seemingly serious, with another trans woman I know from one of the support groups I attend. So much for "straight..."

I believe I'm still attracted to men - maybe I'll actually sleep with one someday, but it isn't looking too promising - I really care for this girl I'm seeing. I'm not looking to date anyone else.

I fail at being "normal." Oh well, I'm having fun anyway, so I guess that's all that matters.

[MatildaJ.]

Normal is a range on charts of behaviors, but no one's actual life and loves are "normal." Honestly, everyone's a freak in one aspect or another. Let go of the fantasy and enjoy your new relationship.

[PaulaQ]

I am enjoying it a lot, really. I'm happy being outside the range of "normal" behaviors. I didn't ever think I would be - but I am. I have so many new friends now, and a wonderful girlfriend. We have a date tonight, in fact. This woman affects me in a way that I've never experienced before - her touch, just a gentle caress on my shoulder, just makes me melt somehow.

I don't feel bad about having an odd life - I know it is. When I talk to my friends and family about it - they really don't know what to say. But I am a part of the GLBT community now, and it feels like home to me.

I really am quite happy - which is unusual for me to report on these forums, I know.

BTW, I know that "normal" really is a fantasy. I used to live a heteronormative life in the far north part of Dallas. I hated my neighbors. I hated the arrogant and pretentiousness of most of the people around me. (There were exceptions.) I hated the materialism. I knew my neighbors, and in all but one case, I regretted knowing them. I hated the constant competition for who had the most stuff. I hated all the judgmental people around me.

Where I live now? People can just be themselves, love who they love, nobody cares. We may not understand each other always, but mostly we're tolerant of one another. It is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen - it feels like freedom.

[TrishaMarie]

The real question to me is what is "normal?" I am heterosexual and a lesbian, just depends on how I am dressed at the time. Though when I am dressed I want to be the submissive female and want my wife to be the aggressor. Would prefer to have sex that way most of the time, actually find it easier to get it up. I know I am not normal, but am I? I think we work to hard to to judge ourselves by someone else's standards. I am working on defining my own for me. Can be confusing but also a lot of fun.

[TessInJxn]

I find that the more I identify as Tess in my exploration of my gender status (my therapist and I are working on this), the more I feel "straight." I've historically been attracted to women. However, as you rightly assess, I look at them now and more likely than not I think: "I wish I were her" or "great shoes" or "I wish my shoulders weren't so broad so i could wear that blouse" or "I love her makeup, I wonder how she did that?" I rarely have the hormonal male response of: "Boy, I'd like to get her in the sack!" You know? I think, at least in my experience, the more the right pieces fall into place (aligning our bodies and minds) the more easily your true nature can develop. So, if and when I transition, I image that I, too, would have to come out as straight.


Though when I am dressed I want to be the submissive female and want my wife to be the aggressor. Would prefer to have sex that way most of the time, actually find it easier to get it up. I know I am not normal, but am I? . . . Can be confusing but also a lot of fun.

Yes. Confusing. But you and I are the same: when dressed as a woman, I much prefer my wife to be the aggressor. Actually, even when not dressed, I prefer her to be the aggressor. That is kind of what is feeding into my earlier response about coming out as "straight." I seem to prefer the submissive female role.

[PaulaQ]

BTW, what's really bending my mind is:
- was I always straight, and just never let myself express this part of my sexuality?
- was I going through a period of denial about being lesbian, wanting to be a heterosexual woman?
- am I actually bisexual?
At this point, I'm not really going to think about it much more. My sexual orientation is just this thing I don't quite understand yet. I think I'm probably a lesbian, but just tell people I'm a queer woman, because labels just don't really seem to make a ton o' sense. It doesn't really matter anyway. I'm with who I'm with, and if I were cis-gendered and either gay or lesbian, it would be a step up from being trans, so it really is no big deal whatever the "label" is.

[LenGray]

Sometimes the easiest thing is not to label yourself :) I've been confusing friends and family with my sexuality for years lol
I'm an androgynous female who enjoys dressing as a male. I'm attracted to both men and women regardless of gender but reject classic examples of both as being unattractive. In truth, I suspect that I'm either drawn to 'beauty' or other androgynous people lol
It's hilarious to see the confusion on my friends faces though when they're all like 'So, do you have a girlfriend yet?' 'Well, I found this really cute boy...' and vice versa. Then they meet them and they're like 'Um...which one are they again?' They just call me 'Len-sexual' now since no one can make heads or tails of it. XD My poor mother insists that I'll be the death of her... ^_^;

It's good that you've found someone you connect with, regardless of if it's a woman or a man. I wish you luck in finding your answers and, most importantly, your happiness, sweet lady :)

[Angela Campbell]

I don't sit around thinking....Hmmm I like to eat steak so I guess I cannot be a vegetarian.....

No, I like who I like, and I love who I love. So what am I? I am me.

[PaulaQ]

I overthink everything. I always have, lol!

I have at least figured out why I even care about all of this. I may write a thread about it sometime, but probably not.

[Michelle789]

Paula, I overthink everything too. The psychic said my problem was that I overthink everything. It's nice to hear that I'm not really crazy and that maybe I do have real problems, that are solveable, and that I'm not just over-thinking everything, even though I really do overthink everything.

[Sarah M]

I have been on HRT for over seven months an the HRT does change the mind also so their is nothing wrong going out with a guy !!

[Angela Campbell]

In my experience, overthinking is usually better than underthinking.