For Those Of You Who Go Out Regularly.......

[Desirae]

When you go to a club, or event of some kind, dressed, do you ever get asked to dance by men? Have you ever danced with a man? Would you if asked? Have you ever asked a man to dance? Fast or slow music?

[jaye_cd]

I've been asked to, and have, danced with both men and women while out dressed to all kinds of music. Mostly club music, so nothing slow. I have never asked anyone myself to dance though.

[Cynthia Anne]

I've been asked and unless I know them I turn them down!

[celeste26]

I don't usually go to places where dancing is done.

[Amanda_P]

I'm a singer not a dancer. karaoke I love it. The drunker I get the better I sound. But I have danced a few times with mostly females. When dressed up I just have more fun when I go out. Haven't been out except for Halloweens though but still had a great time.

[pinkhyori]

Always turned them down.
Just don't want to give anyone the wrong idea.
Plus, I'm not into men.

[AmyGaleRT]

I've never had this happen to me so far...not sure how I'd react. I suppose it would depend on if I knew the man in question.

- Amy

[Princess Chantal]

Very little of my going out is to go clubbing anymore. The few times that I do, about half of those outings ends up when I am asked to dance and I usually accept as I like dancing. I've only slow danced a couple of times.

[Sophie Yang]

I told my wife that I was going out dancing last Friday and she asked me basically the same questions. Her biggest concern has always been and will always be for my safety and her safety if we are out together.

Get asked:Yes – I have been asked at both TG and non-TG venues. If it is a known TG venue, not a problem. The men know and the other TG'ers know. I tend to stick to known TG venues mostly because they have been local, convenient and safe. Since I go out alone most of the time, if it doesn't feel safe, I go in and out right away. Once I find a comfortable venue, I stick with it.

Danced with a man:Yes - I love watching women dancing together. Most people do not have a problem with this. Men dancing with men still makes most people uncomfortable. Why?

If asked:Yes - It depends on how they ask, how they act, how much they have had to drink, what I have observed of them before they ask. I establish a home base at the venue first and a good relationship with the wait staff. This may take visit or too or a good tip. I talk with the guy first and check my safety vibe meter.

Ask: Only once – I was talking with a women who told me someone was going to come over to ask me to dance. He must have chickened out and she told me to go ask him.

Music type:Both.

Your questions have a sexual under tone component to them and others have said they are not interested in men in this and other posts. I too am not interested in men in that way, but really enjoy dancing. Since I have started CD'ing, I have become much more interested in people, male and female, as people, as human beings. I have been engaged in some very interesting conversations on broad ranges of topics while out dressed.

If the prospect of being asked makes you uncomfortable, go with a group and stick with your group.

[Lynn Marie]

Having had a couple of years of dance classes, and being at least 6'6" in heels, I suppose I can be somewhat imposing on the dance floor! I lead, I cannot follow. I've danced with lots of girls, lots of CD and TG girlfriends, but no men. I can make the girls look good, I'd probably trip over the men!

[Rogina B]

Always with girls..Females are so much more free spirited and whimsical than most men[most gay guys that are club dancers stick with the same].I enjoy partying with the girls!

[Kate Simmons]

Yes, I dance with guys from time to time. Mostly to club music but sometimes slow dances. They usually ask me to slow dance, the other stuff they just join right in on the dance floor..Seems nice to me. :)

[ClaudineD]

Love to dance at clubs....so easy for girls to just jump out there and express themselves......as to men....yes...but there is a brief appraisal to get over "creepy" factor......just love to dance all out and slow......

[Beverley Sims]

Desirae,
Jive and 60s rock and roll get everyone but my partner and I watching our act.

I do the same with women as well.
Very spectacular when it was the square dancing club with taffeta petticoats under full skirts.
A light full skirt by itself can come level with the waist using a quick powerful twirl.

Just make sure you are wearing neat, attractive underwear.:)

[stephNE]

I have attended a few meetings, dinners, etc. with other CDers and T-girls. Occasionally there are men there that come over to talk to us. Not only will I not dance with them, I am so uninterested that I don't even talk to them (I am courteous, but not interested in conversation).

[bridget thronton]

I have danced with men in virtual worlds (where I am using a female avatar) because that is the norm (of course in most virtual worlds the women out number the men at most dances so you may not get asked very often)

[sherri]

I've danced with men and women -- and in-betweens -- many times. It's nearly always fun, and sometimes more than fun. ;-) My favorite is dancing with a GG who likes to lead, I just like that dynamic. But for pure fun, I love two-stepping with my gay cowboy friends -- which is funny cuz as a guy I never learned how to 2-step and couldn't lead very well if I tried, but in a skirt and the arms of a skilled cowboy it seems like I'm an old pro.

[Sally24]

I dance every chance I get! Once in awhile I get asked by a man and usually accept. Never been asked to slow dance, mainly because clubs rarely play slow music! I would be a little choosier for a slow dance partner as I'm VERY married!

[Veronnie2]

Yes I have been asked and yes, I do dance with men and women. With men i prefer slow dancing as they seem to like that better. With women faster dances, and polkas. As my male side, i do not dance, but Veronnica l;oves to dance...go figure....Veronnie2 aka veronnica

[AllieSF]

I have done all but ask a man to dance. My first time dancing en femme was at a Lindy Hop gathering. The Lindy Hop is a popular type of swing dance when my Mom was a young adult. I asked some girls to dance and then was asked by a guy to dance. I told the guy I would have to lead. Once he realized why, he politely left, much to my dismay. After that I have been to a few clubs to dance more in a group or with other women. At one of those a guy asked me to dance knowing what I was. It was all great fun, but maybe the best was when I went ballroom dancing. I went with a blind man I had met and helped walking around at the Folsom Street Fair (a edgy leather and whatever fair held annually in the Fall in San Francisco). We went to a ex-veteran's hall. He was an excellent dancer, even taught dancing some, and help me learn how to follow. It was a wonderful evening with one very memorable moment when they did a mixed music dance with a twist. Every time they switched the music you had to get in line and then take the next random partner (males on one side and females on the other). Since the Vet's hall had been converted to a senior meet up hall there were a lot of seniors there too, beside a few younger and regular dancers. I probably danced with 3 or 4 different partners and finally had to sit down. I was laughing so hard, internally of course, because I would get matched up by an old geezer (where I am also rapidly heading) and they would always take a few steps before they realized what they were dancing with. As the old credit card commercial used to proclaim, the look on their face was "priceless"!

[Cheryl T]

Hasn't happened to me. I'd consider it if (IF) I could dance. I have the proverbial 2 left feet and in heels that just makes it worse.
I'd be flattered but would decline gracefully.

[Vickie_CDTV]

For me personally, it has never come up, thank goodness. If I go somewhere people are dancing, it is usually a gay place, and gay men are not usually interested in dancing with a man who is dressed like a woman. I don't want male attention anyway, personally.

In straight places, I am ignored by men. They obviously read me... or they don't like big girls.

[linda allen]

If a man in a bar asks you to dance and he doesn't know you are a crossdresser, things could go very bad very quickly if he finds out, especially if he is out with his drinking buddies. Something about the male ego and being embarassed in front of his friends.

It's not something that I would recommend.

[NV Susan]

Yes, I've slow danced with men when out....I loved every minute of it!!

[windycissy]

I never had the nerve to go to a straight nightspot and try to get picked up by a guy, that's a dangerous game...but for as long as I've been going out dressed, I've yearned to go dancing with a man as a woman. For a while I got into GLBT square dancing and had a lot of fun dancing the girl's part. Finally, when I landed a steady boyfriend, I hounded him until he finally relented and took me ballroom dancing at the Top of the Mark in San Francisco. I wore my little black dress and strappy heels, and was in heaven!

[kimdl93]

No, in all the times I've been out, I've never been asked to dance by a man. I have danced ...if you can call what I do dancing, with a couple of women.

[Angelofsomekind]

I usually go to clubs, so again, not much for slow music. But yes, I have been asked, and it depended on the person if I accepted the invitation. I always go with my wife, so she is there with me, but one time we were sitting at a table and ended up talking with two other guys who were there, they were friendly, started buying drinks, they were looking for nothing other than a fun night out. So I ended up dancing with one, we ended up on a raised platform in the middle of the dance floor. Good time, don't think that will happen again though (but you never know). Then there was another guy who walked up to us when we were sitting down and asked me to dance with him, I said no thanks, he asked why not, so I said I was there with my wife, he still kept asking. Normally that doesn't sound like a big deal, but the whole time he was talking to me he was fingering his belly button, slowly circling around it, then every once in a while he'd stick it in and move it around, then go back to circling around it. Really weird, couldn't take that guy seriously.

[Brooklyn]

The evening is not really complete unless I get to dance. I'm hetero but dance with guys all the time. Sometimes I'll ask a persistent admirer to dance to get him off my back. I used to compete, and am a horrible back-leader now!

[Desirae]

Your questions have a sexual under tone component to them and others have said they are not interested in men in this and other posts. I too am not interested in men in that way, but really enjoy dancing. Since I have started CD'ing, I have become much more interested in people, male and female, as people, as human beings. I have been engaged in some very interesting conversations on broad ranges of topics while out dressed.

If the prospect of being asked makes you uncomfortable, go with a group and stick with your group.

No. Just asking about dancing. No sexual undertones meant or implied. I was mostly interested if anyone had the opportunity to slow dance with a man while out enfemme. Not, that there's anything wrong with two females dancing, or two CDs, for that matter. Or even two gay males. I was more interested in the man in drab / CD dynamic. Just dancing. Nothing else.



If a man in a bar asks you to dance and he doesn't know you are a crossdresser, things could go very bad very quickly if he finds out, especially if he is out with his drinking buddies. Something about the male ego and being embarassed in front of his friends.

It's not something that I would recommend.

I wasn't implying being deceptive about your identity. I meant with the understanding that the man knew you were CD/ TG.


I guess my question was geared more toward slow dancing, with no sexual overtones (or undertones) or otherwise. Just dancing. You know man's arm around onto the small of your back. Your arm up on top his shoulder and around to the back of his neck. Each of your other hands clasped together. You know dancing.

I would if asked. Not sure if I would ever ask anyone. He'd have to be taller than me in heels, though. And he'd have to lead, too. I'd like that experience at least once. It would probably be like a drug, though: Once there's a first time, you'd sure want a second time.

[cdintraining25]

If asked...I don't dance but maaaaaybe?

[josrphine]

I was at a dance of our gay church, a woman came over to me as I was sitting down an asked me too dance. As we got to the floor an started I was two left feet. I then told her that I was a man an she stopped an said no way. I was very pleased so we stumbled thru the dance an sat down. She came with me an had all types of question. We danced some more got better, an said she hope to see me again. You never know, I am all smiles.

[NathalieX66]

I have gone to a couple of LGBT clubs, and often get drinks bought by guys, and lots of offers. It feels affirming, but' I'm really not attracted to them.

[Cindymay]

This halloween I was asked by a group of GG's, it was so cool they acted like I was just one of the girls!

[Sarah V]

Yes, this is beginning to happen to me now as I find myself as some TLady friends of mine are now "dragging" me out to a few clubs with them. So far this has been pleasant to experience.

[ErikaFunGirl]

If it's not too late to chime in, this is happening more and more to me in the mixed/gay nightclubs I frequent. At first I was pretty much shocked, but I now I find it quite exciting. It's overwhelmingly bi curious guys who secretly like girls like us who usually ask me. I'd never ask them.

[GinaD]

I have been asked by men and women. My sister kind of taught me how to dance so I learned to lead and follow. I don't get crazy but I have watched how women dance and can make many of the same moves without looking too ridiculous. I have danced with both, but avoid close dancing unless I'm into the person. I find it thrilling when I catch an attractive person's attention and they approach me. I've never approached someone else though. I feel as comfortable being held by a man as holding a girl when out as Gina.

[Donna Jean GA]

I'd love to, but I'm going to have to practice more in these heels first.

Donna Jean

[Terri Andrews]

I sometimes attend a local dance and have been ask to dance ,by men,and like GG`s there are some nights that I never get asked to dance . I love the feeling of dancing in heels.
It is always very well attended ,and I am usually pretty nervous ,like others said it is a risky thing to do .