If she were very accepting of your cross dressing -- would you date a trans woman?

[PaulaQ]

So let's suppose you met a woman at a CD / TG type event. She tells you she's a trans woman, you tell her you're a CD. She's cool with it, and seems to like you.

Would you be inclined to date her?

She might want to set some limits on your CDing, or maybe not. (She might enjoy a man once in a while.) But regardless, she'd be very understanding of your need to express your femininity.
If so would you consider dating a trans woman who was:
a) non-op - she'll never have surgery, but may be on hormones.
b) pre-op - she'll eventually have surgery, but hasn't yet
c) post-op - she's already had SRS.
d) doesn't matter - she's a girl, plastic surgery be damned, if we connect, she's mine!

The above don't really cover all the possibilities - but that's enough since this is all hypothetical anyway.

What would you expect from such a relationship - could you treat her as if it were a relationship with a genetic girl?

Would you consider a really long term relationship, if you really connected together? Or just a one night stand, if that were even on the table?

[bridget thronton]

Assuming I were single - if I connected with her it would not matter

[Cynthia Anne]

B AND C yes I would! A and D I'm not sure!

[mirandacdgirl]

Yes I would, but I'm taken so ;)

[Beverley Sims]

I would certainly have a date with her and associate with her.
Any intimate relations would have to come the same as any other girl.
You wait and see what develops.
This is a hypothetical question for me as I am already spoken for.

I think. :)

[Kate Simmons]

If I loved her for who she was as a person, it would make no difference. :)

[Erica Marie]

All of the above. I would in a heartbeat. I feel a transitioning female may be the only type of female who would be understanding enough to accept me. I would be delighted and exstatic. I would accept her for her choice of what level (a,b,c,d) she feels comfortable.

[Allison_Leslie]

VERY thought-provoking question. I'd have to say C to be totally blunt and honest here. As I would expect one would want ME to commit to one or the other sex, I'd want to have it if that were my thing and if I had wanted a guy.. which I do not. But if I take on a woman as a love interest in a serious fashion who happens to be transgender, I would want her to be post-op because I am a guy and I would want to be able to have relations with her fully, not to put anyone off. just speaking bluntly here.

I enjoy my womanhood a great deal, at the end of the day, I am a male.
If my feelings change on this I will certainly let everyone know when it is appropriate.
I just feel if I'm to date a trans-gender and only be a CD myself, I'll still prefer one who has committed to the reassignment fully.

[LelaK]

TG, anything but sex. TS, maybe anything. I don't think I'm monogamous though, more poly.

[Rogina B]

If I was single and we clicked together,nothing would matter. Things could get very interesting and might be a good subject for a reality TV series! lol

[MarciManseau]

Yes, to all four categories. In fact, we regularly get together with a TG girl. She comes to stay with us for a weekend about once a month, and once she was here for over a week, on her vacation. We both think she's wonderful.

I won't go into more detail now, but if anyone is really curious, feel free to message me here. :)

[sweetshauna]

Assuming I were single - if I connected with her it would not matter

Counldnt have said it better.

[CarlaWestin]

Well, yes I would date her, as in, getting to know you dating. I've never really subscribed to the intentional one-night-stand thing. Now, are you saying date her as a very male, husband material, hetero life situation that my crossdressing would be celebrated? Hmmm? Why not! This could possibly be the wonderful open minded relationship that I've always wanted. I'm sure that the introduction of other, ehem, enhanced proclivities would be accepted as interesting, and not just labeled weird. Carla loves role playing.

[KayleeTaylor]

Gender doesn't matter at all for me. It's all about what's in the heart not what's in the pants :)

[Melissa_59]

Sure, I would date her. I would hope we'd find something in common as well. I don't like relationships that go nowhere. I've been to nowhere too many times.

[Barbara Dugan]

I have a contact on flicker that is on a relationship like the one suggest, I think it can work real well

[Veronnie2]

I would definatly date her, and if things got more personal, well so be it. I have dated other CD/TG/TS gurls and still see them on may occasions.

veronnie2---aka-- Veronnica

[Monica2013]

Here Here! I've been nowhere too many times also. I would also.

Monica

[MisterEgurl]

I would in all circumstances suggested. If we connect and the feelings are strong and mutual, I would pursue a relationship.

[JennyLynn]

I guess if I were single, it would be fine with me. It's all about who you are inside and if you are attracted to the person. Not the plumbing or the lack thereof. Since I'm married, it might not be my place to say, but the thought of it still gives me the tingles!!

[Pandys]

At this point in my life If there is a "connection" I am in.

[Jenni Yumiko]

Date, yes. Marry probably not. Mainly because of my need to have children. (This assumes the past not my present)
IMO its all pink on the inside :-)

[Jessica giovanna]

All! In a heartbeat!!!

[suchacutie]

I've been in a wonderful relationship with a GG for over 40 years. That's one heck of a lot of positive reenforcement, so if I were ever again single I'd probably stick with GGs as my first choice for a relationship.

[UNDERDRESSER]

So let's suppose you met a woman at a CD / TG type event. She tells you she's a trans woman, you tell her you're a CD. She's cool with it, and seems to like you.

Would you be inclined to date her?

She might want to set some limits on your CDing, or maybe not. (She might enjoy a man once in a while.) But regardless, she'd be very understanding of your need to express your femininity.
If so would you consider dating a trans woman who was:
a) non-op - she'll never have surgery, but may be on hormones. No, I don't think so.
b) pre-op - she'll eventually have surgery, but hasn't yet. Maybe, at the very least, I would be open to a relationship when she did get surgery.
c) post-op - she's already had SRS. Yes.
d) doesn't matter - she's a girl, plastic surgery be damned, if we connect, she's mine! See above. I don't think I can get past the point about her having male parts. I understand it is a hangup on my part, but there it is.

The above don't really cover all the possibilities - but that's enough since this is all hypothetical anyway.

What would you expect from such a relationship - could you treat her as if it were a relationship with a genetic girl? With the caveats already stated, yes.

Would you consider a really long term relationship, if you really connected together? Or just a one night stand, if that were even on the table? Either, though I don't really have an interest in a one night stand as such.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Interesting post , but my answer would be no; with no disrespect to our transsexual sisters.

[MichelleinEugene]

Yes, Yes, Yes & Yes

[Michelle789]

I will date anyone, as long as you let me be the girl 100% of the time.

[TerriCD]

Love to date a transwoman, the only problem is I'm married!

[KaceyR]

Gender doesn't matter at all for me. It's all about what's in the heart not what's in the pants :)


I would in all circumstances suggested. If we connect and the feelings are strong and mutual, I would pursue a relationship.

Yup...all pretty much sums it up for me too. Connection first, the hardware doesn't matter.

[drushin703]

Carmen Carrera, hell yeah i'll date her, and have her children too...lol, dana

[PaulaQ]

Thanks everyone who's answered so far. I really appreciate your candor however you answered, and I have to tell you that I really appreciate how respectful y'all have been! I was a little worried that this might be a really controversial question to ask, but I am delighted, and my heart is warmed, by your answers, be they "yes" or "no". I love you girls! :love:

I guess I'll answer the opposite question for myself as a transsexual - because that only seems fair because y'all have been so honest with me. "Would I date, and be accepting of a CD?

So the short version is that the answer is categorically yes. Even if they are trans, and one day transition, and I lose the man I care about. I would be completely accepting of wherever their journey takes them if I loved someone. I would be totally willing to date a CD, be they "just a CD" or were more than that. If they dressed only a little, or partially, or fully and quite frequently. I'd find ways to have fun and be accepting of their gender identity.

My initial response to this interested and surprised me - because the one above, which I wholeheartedly feel now, wasn't "yes" - it was, in fact "no - I want a 'regular guy', and kind of the heteronormative relationship I'm used to seeing." This really did surprised me! I thought about it though, and I realized "what a bunch of bullshit - I want someone to be completely accepting of me, but I'm not willing to be accepting in return?" And my attitude really bothered me. It just seemed wrong - but I couldn't really pin down why I felt that way.

What I think it was, upon further reflection, is that I've always wanted to feel normal. I have a certain amount of grief that I'll never be a 20 year old bride getting photographed in the park before her wedding. I've missed most of my life as a woman. I just have - and this grieves me. So to make up for it - I'll just be "super-hetero girl!"

But look, that's bullshit too. I don't live, nor am I likely to, the same type of life I saw all the time before I started transition. I'm surrounded now by this wonderful community of LGBT people. I love it here, and I'm not leaving it. The hell with life I used to know. My life is going to be totally different than anything I've ever known. It's a mystery unrolling before me. And it's fun! And so realizing that, I let go of my grief, and I realized what a fool I'd be to turn down the affections of someone with whom I'd share a special bond that most people don't share, and could never understand.

So hell yes I'd date a CD! I know I could love a man who cross dressed, I could accept him however he expressed his gender identity. I'd never judge, and I'd maybe even be able to help him. And he'd understand me in a deeper way than some "regular guy". You know, come to think of it - "regular guys" can be pretty boring. What was I thinking?!?! I know for sure now that I could love a CD with all my heart.

I hope you all can appreciate my sincerity in writing this, and not hold my initial gut reaction against me. Hey, even being TS, thinking about gender and our relationships just doesn't come naturally to me. But I am trying to learn, and I am trying to grow, and I hope people here can be patient with me as I do.

Paula

[Zylia]

It's not like I would have any say in it as a partner and if she wants it I obviously would be OK with it, but if my partner was a MTF transsexual, she really wouldn't have to go through SRS for me. It's not because I don't care about the 'plumbing' in the first place, but for me as a partner it wouldn't be worth it. If she's tough but feminine and likes my CD'ing, it might just be a match made in heaven.

[JennyLynn]

Never a one night stand. Ick! If I had a connection with this person, I would support anthing they felt a need to pursue. I would not have a problem with trans this, or bi that. If I truly liked the person, and eventually grew to love them, I would be with them in any form they wished to live their life as. I can honestly say, that it's more so about the emotional connection and the sexual part comes from that. I could just as easily be with a man, cd, trans... you give it all the labels.. I don't care about the labels.. If I'm attracted and fall for a person, I really don't care what the plumbing is or the old plumbing was. It's so about connecting with somebody. The heart. The Mind.

[Angie G]

If I was alone I'd say B,C,and D It wouldn't matter a bit. After the surgery that person is a woman as I see it.:hugs:
Angie

[Sabrina133]

absolutely and without a doubt - yes to all 4 questions. I've dated both men and women (am currently in a LTR with a gg) but gender isn't important as is whats in the person's head and heart.

Bree

[gailprice]

A simple yes from me defiantly c, d........Alas i'm sure my wife would have something to say though....

[smartcdforfriends]

I'm not currently on the market, since I've got a cisgender girlfriend (who's slowly warming up to the idea of working my CDing into our relationship). But I'd definitely date a transwoman. In fact, if I were looking, it might even be something that I'd seek out. I agree with Angie that a post-SRS trans woman is a woman, so I'd have no problem with it at all. I think, pre-SRS, the sexual possibilities might be too limited, but that wouldn't be an issue post-SRS. And since I'm not sure I even want kids anyway, the fact that we wouldn't be able to have kids biologically wouldn't be a problem for me at all.

[Jennifer Kelly]

B and C. Although in the case of B I would hope she was pretty far along the road in her transition because I'm impatient like that.

[PaulaQ]

@ Jennifer Kelly - :) believe me, most of us TS girls are pretty impatient too! Transition is a slow process, what can I say? I'm on the bullet train to girl town, and I'm probably a year and a half away from having a functional vagina that's ready to entertain company! What can you do, right? :)

[VickieFairfax]

Being married for so long to a wonderful and understanding lady, it is difficult not to accept for me not to be willing of the same acceptance. When a connection is made between two individuals, they build on the trust, understanding and acceptance that is necessary for the survival of the relationship. Problems arise when the outside world influences their behavior.

I only would hope that I would be as understanding if the shoe were placed on the other foot.