accepting myself with others

[mykell]

been to several shops, first a thrift SA asked what i was looking for and told what i needed, she of course asked what size is she, "its for me i think an x-tra large."

then a wig shop, can i help you, " yes i need help with wig and makeup for myself "
owner was incredible, all in male mode...it felt amazing and gives me more courage to have the talk with the MRS.

will share details in the other forums....

hope this is OK here, more about courage and acceptance, mine and others...

[sweetshauna]

wishing you the beset on your talk with the Mrs.

[KayleeTaylor]

That's awesome :) I bet it feels so good to be accepted for who you are! It also takes a lot of courage to do what you did, congrats :) In no time, you'll be waling about the town enfemme with no problem :)

Yes, this will all add up to the courage you need to have "the talk"

:hugs:

Kaylee :)

[kimdl93]

The biggest step is accepting yourself. Then coming out to others is easier.

[Marcelle]

Well done Mikell. I did my first make-up request for me "en boy" and while it felt weird, the acceptance I got from the SA and the help was a real confidence boost.

Hugs

Isha

[thisgal16]

I guess that i skipped the steps of shopping by myself and went straight to going out with my wife. You seem to be several steps ahead of where I was when I had the talk with my wife, I literally could not answer any of her questions because i didn't know. My wife is super supportive and helpful throughout my finding myself process. Best of luck to you with having the talk but remember you do have the advantage of having accepted yourself.

[Lainie]

Really big difference between SAs & Mrs.

Strangers have no expectations, don't really care, almost always enjoy the fun of encountering someone out of the ordinary.

Your wife likely married you because she needed a man, a protector, a father for her children. Most likely she did not and does not want you to be anything else, and does not want to change her self-image as a wife. So coming out to your wife is a really risky proposition. Lying to your wife is evil. This is the proverbial rock & hard place.

Sometimes, wives are ok with crossdressing, enjoy joining the game, are very supportive. You're the best judge. It's not easy.

Read some of the sticky threads here. Really important--if you decide that honesty is the best policy--that you give her time to adjust. You've been progressing on this path without her for a long time. She will likely also need a long time. Don't rush it. Pay attention to what she wants, not just what you want.

"Shower the people you love with love.
Show them the way that you feel
Things are gonna work out better, if you only will"

[KayleeDahl]

I agree with Lainie, Sales associates are paid to say hi and smile, where as your significant other isn't. There are real implications for her, for the sales associate, it is just another sale.

That said, until you have that discussion, you will never know how your significant other feels. I was incredibly lucky, and though there were some hard times, we are now 2 years later, and stronger than ever.

Truth is, being trans is more and more accepted now, and it makes it much easier on us, and the angels that are our significant others.

I know that for me, not having to hide today, is worth all the risk of starting that conversation. I wish you the best, and the courage to begin that path.

[Jackie F]

Congrats to you Mikell, My SO was the first I told. She is having trouble accepting the progression but trying very hard. This will be difficult for your SO. Best advice I can pass along is, as you are talking to her picture her side of this. I have not made it to going to a store and buying my own clothing as of yet so good for you!! Good Luck

[Beverley Sims]

Mikell,
Doing what you do gives some of the SA's a challenge and I always get positive interaction.
I only proceed if I have had a positive reaction for my first reply.

"It's for me." :)

[mykell]

I agree with Lainie,

Truth is, being trans is more and more accepted now, and it makes it much easier on us, and the angels that are our significant others.

I know that for me, not having to hide today, is worth all the risk of starting that conversation. I wish you the best, and the courage to begin that path.
with the passing of my father her finding my "stuff" is the push for me to level with her, then their is a conversation instead of questions when i pass.

Mikell,
Doing what you do gives some of the SA's a challenge and I always get positive interaction.
I only proceed if I have had a positive reaction for my first reply.

"It's for me." :)
being in the group here is the reason im up front now, exposure, bought myself beautiful wig makeup on snow day, i expected the shop closed, asked if i could recommend and she says call for a quiet time, very classy was my opinion, respectful of my feelings, if she just didnt agree with the lifestyle she could of said shes not comfortable with it.
thrift shop, not a sales driven position, and still very helpful,

Really big difference between SAs & Mrs.

Strangers have no expectations, don't really care, almost always enjoy the fun of encountering someone out of the ordinary.

Your wife likely married you because she needed a man, a protector, a father for her children. Most likely she did not and does not want you to be anything else, and does not want to change her self-image as a wife. So coming out to your wife is a really risky proposition. Lying to your wife is evil. This is the proverbial rock & hard place.

Sometimes, wives are ok with crossdressing, enjoy joining the game, are very supportive. You're the best judge. It's not easy.

Read some of the sticky threads here. Really important--if you decide that honesty is the best policy--that you give her time to adjust. You've been progressing on this path without her for a long time. She will likely also need a long time. Don't rush it. Pay attention to what she wants, not just what you want.


"Shower the people you love with love.
Show them the way that you feel
Things are gonna work out better, if you only will"
was just the experience of looking someone in the eye and bearing my soul, practice makes perfect, im the same person and lately i feel a burden lifted just by sharing here and i talk a lot more with her lately and got some of my sense of humor back.

[Devin C]

This is great. I'm very happy for you. I'd have to say that telling the one your in love with is the hardest thing to do. But in the end it's always best to be up front. I told my first wife an my current wife long before we were married. My first marriage lasted 18 years an ended for different reasons. But my first wife wasn't very supportive of my dressing. Even tho she knew long before we were married. She made me hide it as if it was wrong. So that may have lead to some of 5 he issues we had but not the major ones. My current wife is an amazing woman. She's so very supportive of me being me. Although it did take along time for her to reach this point. There were many times were she very upset about it. She was more concerned that I was Gay or I was going to have a sex change to become the woman she thought I wanted to be. I had to make sure she understood an was certain that I wasn't looking for that. I'm a man a whole man that loves who I am. I just enjoy dressing as a woman. That I'm not gay. That I have no intention of being a complete woman or being with a man. But in the end honest Prevailed. We are a very happy couple. I get to dress most everyday. We go out dancing an have a ball.

I wish you the best. I hope all works out. Just know it will be a huge shock an she'll need time to adjust. Remember to be just as supportive of her as you want her to be for you. It's always a give an take in a marriage.

Hugs, Devin

[Dana M]

You go Mikell! Good luck with the wife. Just take it slow.

[Kristina_nolagirl]

Congrats to you! You're very brave. I wish nothing but the best to you on telling your wife. Take your time, make sure to do it at a good time and be sure to reinforce the fact that she is gaining a girlfriend, not at all losing a husband. Let us know how it turns out....we will all be here to support you no matter what happens! :)