"You Guys"

[FurPus63]

Tonight I had an experience that takes place often. When being seated in a local restaurant, the host/hostess/greeter will welcome us with "how you guys doing? You guys want to sit ......" Now I know this person (who happens to be male) doesn't mean to be insulting. However; there's something about it that bugs me.

I've been in plenty of other restaurants where the hostess will refer to me and my dinner partner (a girlfriend, other TS/TG girls, my sister, etc....) as "you ladies...." From time-to-time someone will say, "you guys...." but it's mostly been the other way.

How about you? What kind of experience have you had and does it bug you if you and or you and your female (TS or GG) dinner partners are referred to as "you guys?"

Paulette

[thechic]

I don't have any issues with the use of guys ,because its so widely used, I know they still see me as a girl not a guy, been to many outing just us girls me the only TS ,and most hostess refer to most of the patron's as guys. we even use the term when meeting other groups of girls.

[Chloe Renee]

This doesn't bother me in the least, anymore. Pretransition, pre HRT yeah maybe. But I stepped out of myself and realized that non of my cisgirlfriends were offended and thus why would I?
I have had a conversation with my wife and a couple other people for what is the informal way to address mixed company other than "you guys" the best we could come up with was "folks" which instantly makes you sound 90.
We as trans-people desperate to express ourselves tend get over sensitive about little things like "you guys". Do your best to let it roll off your back like water on a duck, 99% of the time there is no malice.
BTW, (waves) Hi, I am the butchy redhead that was seated by the door at group.

[Chickhe]

It's probably not about you! That's the first part to remember, it is about what the other person is accustomed to. Many people use the phrase 'you guys' as gender neutral. I cringe when my daughter's coach yells out to the entire team of girls... come on over here guys... ...we are free to dislike it, but its just the way it is.

[PaulaQ]

Some people just use the phrase "you guys". They don't even intend it to imply gender. Here in Texas, we'd say "howdy y'all!" which is genderless. But other parts of the country don't have such a term, so "you guys" has become a generic genderless term to refer to more than one person, regardless of gender.

And yeah, it jars me sometimes anyway - it's like "OMG, did they read me!?!?" Usually not though, and they are just lazy about how they speak.

[Rianna Humble]

I think Chickhe has hit the nail on the head. Before the last Ice Age (i.e. when I was young), a good friend of mine always called everybody "you guys". I did suggest to her that she might like to call the girls something else (even suggested "guyesses" :hhehee:) but she just replied "to me they are all guys - just some of them are girl-guys" :eek:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

it happens all the time ..

in context the word is genderless...try not to let it bug you...its a friendly term and frankly if they read you as transsexual they probably would not have said it.

[linda allen]

"you guys" does not imply gender to the extent "you ladies" does for most people. When talking to another couple (friends of ours), I might say "Are you guys busy Saturday afternoon?"

I don't think you should let it upset you.

[MsMandy]

I actually dislike wait staff referring to customers a "you guys", unless you are at TGI Friday's or similar... Regardless of its it males, females, or blended... For some reason, I just find it unprofessional.

[Eryn]

It first happened to me when a CD friend and I were shopping mall kiosk on one of my first dressed outings. The SA came up and said "Can I show you guys something?" I just about panicked because I was sure that my cover was blown and the Gender Police were going to descend. I soon realized that this was a common way of referring to groups of women, particularly younger women.

These days, I don't particularly worry about being made, but I get more suspicious when somebody starts using feminine pronouns too often. No real issue, though, as they are showing their acceptance that way.

BTW, I get "ma'am" and "you ladies" occasionally when I am in male mode. Muggles just don't pay that close of attention!

[RenneB]

It used to bother me until I was overhearing a small group of GG's chit chatting and with no males in their circle, several of them would just say, "you guys know when... and you guys wanna go.." From then on, it doesn't bother me a bit... Sure beats, "he dude in a dress, we don't want you here..."

Renne.....

[Jorja]

As transsexuals we are hypersensitive to anything that even remotely references us as a guy. After all the pain to shed that image it is understandable. However, as RenneB has said, groups of GG's say "you guys" when talking to each other. So my advice to you is to just get over it. At least they are not addressing you as, "hey faggott" or a few other choice phrases (which btw, I have been addressed that way in the past).

[Contessa]

Hi I don't care about how I am addressed anymore. I feel I am not going to change anything so I just go on. I am neither a guy or a girl. I get called ma'am alot not matter where I go. I am okay with anything if I think yu're not sure.


Tess

[Melissa Rose]

It does not bother me since I grew up with the phrase as a more generic comment, and you can often tell by context and vocal tone whether it is mean to be derogatory or not. As others have mentioned, I have heard it used by women when referring to other women or mixed gender groups. Some of the 20-30 year old women where I work sometimes will directly call another "dude", but only in a certain way or context. Randy Jackson on American Idol used to refer to some of the women contestants as dude. Some words or phrases are starting to become "de-genderized" even though they contain a gender specific word.

[SherriePall]

I realize the term has become genderless, but it does bother me when wait staff use the term. I mean I don't stand up and start hollering and screaming, but it does grate a little bit. I just wish they would use a term such as "folks" instead.

[Dawn cd]

If I walked into a high class restaurant and the headwaiter or hostess said "you guys," I would think them gauche, but in an informal place one uses informal language. It's just an expression, nothing more. I have a friend who bristles every time someone says "no problem." I tell her: Get over it. There are more important things to spend ones irritation on.