10 days en femme

[Jannis]

I am still closeted in my family setting. My wife has been away for 10 days and I have been in a pink fog for the whole time. I got my nails done (wife approves) got my hair done at a salon while totally dressed in skirt and heels. Hair was styled in obvious femme style, shag cut. Wife won't be too upset with the look. I have been out and about en femme and feel terrific. Now my SO is coming home and I need to put Jannis away for a while. My problem is I am already feeling depressed and kind of sick in the pit of my stomach. I really want to come out to her, but she has previously indicated she is not in high regard for CD and does not think I am a CDer. I need some kind of support to get through this. I live in a very conservative area and counseling is not easy to find for this situation. Please, let me know I am not alone with these feelings. Hugs.

[Barbra P]

I feel like I’m missing something here as to why your Wife hasn’t put two and two together. Your Wife approves of you getting your nails done and she won’t be too upset about your obvious feminine shag cut. You went to the salon wearing skirt and heels, is this the same salon your Wife uses? Because if it is she is certainly going to learn that you came in wearing skirt and heels, in which case the gig is up.

As for counseling a lot has to do with your health insurance, mine covers counseling accept for a $10 co-pay. My Doctor, she knows I have gender issues, put through a referral to the psychiatric department for me to see a Licensed Therapist regarding my gender issues. I have been seeing Kelly now for about two and a half years now and I feel a lot better about my cross dressing.

[JustMee]

I'm with Barbra here, something doesn't add up...seems like your wife sees some aspects of Cding in you and doesn't mind. While I am not a proponent of keeping secrets you need to make your own decision on this maybe with guidance from a trained therapist. The up side of disclosure is the feeling in your stomach will go away and maybe it's worth a shot to alleiviate your depression.

[Beverley Sims]

You are not alone with your feelings, you do need to talk to your wifea bit more though.
She obviously knows what is going on and if she won't be upset with your hairstyle, talk to her.

[Jannis]

Let me try to fill in the blanks. My wife is very OK with my nails getting attention as they are troublesome with ingrown toe nails and split fingernails. I get my hair done at a totally different place than the wife. She does not know the stylist. Over the years I have been trying to push the envelope a little further and have not met serious resistance yet. She did draw the line at my ears getting pierced....said no. I try to keep Jannis neatly tucked away when she is home. She does travel somewhat for work which is my open window.
I recently switched doctors and very much want to come out to him. I am hoping he knows a gender therapist I could talk to when I finally do. I will try to be more bold with my wife and engage her in some discussion about my desire to dress and femme my self somewhat more. If I did not have this relationship, I would be full time and start to transition, as my feelings are so very strong to do it. Thanks for your support.

[julietalyse]

My wife is resistant to my dressing. She will help in my purchases, and feels okay with my female clothes in our closet. But she does not like to see me en femme. So occasionally I excuse myself from home and go to a rented apartment.

On my way to my getaway I will start my dressing. Sometimes I will under dress with panties, bra, and nylons along with earrings, lipstick, wig, and perfume. As soon as I arrive at my getaway I am 100% en femme. The next few 24 hours periods are en femme. Satisfying as it is, it would be far more of a pleasure if I could bring my wife along.

[Helen Grandeis]

Having an apartment is the ultimate in double life affluence. I have thought about a heated storage room with LED battery powered lighting for dressing and makeup.

[Marcelle]

Hi Jannis,

I truly believe while your wife may not know she does suspect. You said you have been pushing the boundary a bit but she drew the line at ear piercing (I am assuming you wanted to get both ears done) and since you live in a conservative area, I can only assume she guessed why you wanted both ears pierced. The nails she can probably deal with because of the issues you noted regarding the ingrown. The hair cut . . . I guess we'll have to wait and see as she has not seen it yet?

I believe you are running down a pathway where you need to speak to someone and I am glad you are looking into counselling. Should you tell your wife? Well there are those on this site who will imply you are lying and hurting your wife by not telling her. IMHO nobody has the right to tell you when and if you should tell your wife as only you truly know when and if it is time.

There is no magic way to tell your SO to lessen the impact. It will only go one of two ways: (1) acceptance on some level; or (2) complete rejection. You need to determine if you can live with either before you make that call.

Hugs and good luck

Isha

[allison_mx]

i think u should talk to ur wife and explain what are ur feeling and and what u want to experience and ask her to give it a chance, i remember when my mom read my diary and found out had been cross dressing since i was really young and she freaked out and wanted to make me str8 and normal for her but she took a while to realize this was who i am and who i have always een. Now my mom is helping me get into hormones and she helps me go out and buy clothes like if i was her daughter which i really think i am

[Adriana Moretti]

that pink fog can get heavy.....i had a ten day spree myself about a week ago....before you do or say anything...let it sink in a few days. absorb your wonderfull 10 days....let life get back into its regular flow...then see how you feel, and I am sure the answers will come to you and you will find peace and balance