Presenting female

[Bree24]

Hello Girls.
I am new here and so many questions. First, I want to appologize to the administrators, I tried posting a new thread and put it in the wrong area. So sorry. So one of my questions for all is - How imortant is it for you to present female? I have only been dressing for a short time and for me, I would like to present myself as female as possible. I guess I would like to be passable but have a lot to learn. I am a fast study though LOL. Would love to hear any feedback
Bree

[Zylia]

Yep, that's what it is for me in a nutshell: the art of trying to present myself as a woman. Just wearing women's clothes doesn't cut it for me. As to why I do it is a completely different question :D

[Dawn Gurl]

Hi Bree, for me everything I do, is to present myself as much as a woman as possible.

[Kate Simmons]

Be patient Hon, it doesn't happen overnight unless you happen to know of a spare fairy godmother hanging around somewhere.:battingeyelashes::)

[mikiSJ]

It is very important.

Go to the mall and watch the guys as they walk around - now imagine them in a dress and low heels. Do you want to look like that or do you want to look like the girl(s) that just passed you by.

[Danielle Gee]

Bree: I try and present myself as a mature 60 y.o. woman when dressed. I always try to wear my clothing and makeup to be appropriate for my age. I do experiment with costumes and other things but I usually do this when alone, or sometimes if my Sweetie is feeling frisky.

Danielle

[Fortuneta]

Bree...
I am a 63 old (hate that word) and dress in that fashon only. If you want to be discovered, embarassed and embarass all us, present yourself in that mode. As mentioned before, there is a time and place to play.
Fortuneta

[Chari]

Welcome here Bree, to this very friendly forum! No matter how long you have been "dressing", there is always some aspect of your femininity you can improve upon. It is more than the dress, makeup, heels, and wig. It is practicing your attitude, voice, motion, and being comfortable and confident in your feminine side. Some of us have spent years trying to emulate GG's and are still learning. Go slow, dress for your age & size, then practice, practice, practice, but enjoy the results.

[reb.femme]

.............If you want to be discovered, embarassed and embarass all us, present yourself in that mode. As mentioned before, there is a time and place to play..............

Did I miss something here? How does Bree wishing to present as female and go out and about, embarrass any of us?

Bree, Youtube is a fantastic resource for many of your questions. There are many absolutely brilliant and free lessons that willl help you along your path. I always recommend themakeupchair for makeup but make up your own mind on that one.

Rebecca

[Karren H]

Like the Hokey Pokey.... That's what its all about...

[S. Lisa Smith]

I agree. I want to appear to be the woman I would have been had I been born female.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Hi Bree, I don't try to present as female at all. I am in a minority here I think. Some need to present as female, often as near to perfect as possible. The reasons vary, and can change. I have a theory that for some of us (myself as one example) the need is to be able to express another side to their personality that they have suppressed, but don't feel able to do that as a male. (I've got past that, now I am working on getting more used to displaying what I want, without trying to look female) One thing that I've noticed is how some members attitudes have changed as they get past the idea that crossdressing is wrong. Once you get to that point, it becomes more important, (and sometimes easier) to tell friends and loved ones about it. Not saying you should do that, you know the risks involved, though I know being able to be open with my GF and talk about it has helped me a lot.

EDIT: Forgot, Welcome, good luck on this journey, and have fun!

[Adriana Moretti]

to me its important to be passable and present as a woman, its part of the fun, and part of the art..I treat my body like it is a work of art...feeding it the right foods, sculpting it, painting it, styling it, taking care of it..I have never been healthier ! Enjoy the journey, its fun !

[Bree24]

Some really great views and tips already. Thanks girls. I am soaking this all in. This journey is going to be a bit easier now with some friends to talk to.

[Candice Mae]

Even though I started young and have come along way, I still have a lot to improve on and life continues to throw me new challenges. Seriously at 26 now my beard finally wants to come in more fuller? I never used to have to worry about beard cover, but I will very soon if this continues, and have to shave prior to going out to avoid looking like the bearded lady if I'm out for too long.

[kimdl93]

Common question. My answer...it's very important for me. I don't expect to pass, but I strive to present as well as I can within my limitations.

[Rachel Morley]

"How important is it for you to present female?" A lot! ... at least it is for me.

I guess there is some "room for maneuver" depending on what you want. By that I mean it can slightly change depending on what you're doing and where you are. For example, if I am out on a busy Saturday night in a downtown mainstream restaurant, and I am standing in line in the ladies room with all the other GGs waiting for a cubical, then you can bet I am trying my very best to look sound and act as female as possible. On the other hand if I am at a TG support group meeting at a private room in a hotel then my desire to present as female is still there but the pressure is less as everyone there already knows about me and so it's not quite so important when I don't pass.

My advice is study your art. Clothes choices, makeup skills, feminine deportment, try to make your voice sound less masculine, etc etc. All these sorts of things help because IMHO I think you're likely to be accepted more if you "try". So say you're doing everything you can to pass yet you still get read in the local supermarket. I think that there's more of a likelihood that people are going to treat you as the gender you are trying to present as, rather than you just looking and acting like a dude in a dress and heels. Give them enough clues and they'll "play along". That's my goal anyway.

[sweetshauna]

I try to present as female all the time. GEEEZ! Wat a ways to go. lol

[AmyGaleRT]

Bree, I don't always present as female, but, when I am out and about as Amy, I am trying, not only to look like a woman, but to be a woman, in all ways that matter.

Judging from your picture, I'd say you have a pretty good starting point! Just keep working on it, improving your overall presentation, and develop confidence, and one day you will step out, too, if you so desire!

- Amy

[Beverley Sims]

Bree,
Start off with the right attitude and you will make it for sure. :)

When I present as female I like to know that I have all the i's dotted and the t's have been crossed.

I would never go out without the appropriate hair do.
Sometimes a bit skimpy on the makeup, but then I have a smooth face and fair complexion.

Work at it and take photos or videos of yourself so as you can get rid of that man walk.
When out keep your back straight and your boobs will poke out.
That is the way women walk, not hunched over trying to hide them.

Last thing, when standing, keep your legs together.

An air of confidence helps too. :)

[Jeanna]

Bree...
I am a 63 old (hate that word) and dress in that fashon only. If you want to be discovered, embarassed and embarass all us, present yourself in that mode. As mentioned before, there is a time and place to play.
Fortuneta

Really? Re-read her post.

[Zylia]

when I am out and about as Amy, I am trying, not only to look like a woman, but to be a woman, in all ways that matter.

I think you owe us an explanation. What's the difference between trying to present as a woman and trying to be a woman to you? What can we mere mortals who only try to present as a woman do to actually be a woman? :D

[Bree24]

Thanks Beverley,
I am seeing that there are so many little things that can make a big difference. Since you brought up the walk, I had also heard that while keeping your back straight you should drop your shoulders to soften them. I have been working on dropping them without looking hunched over. Do you think that helps as well

[Vickie_CDTV]

Even though I started young and have come along way, I still have a lot to improve on and life continues to throw me new challenges. Seriously at 26 now my beard finally wants to come in more fuller? I never used to have to worry about beard cover, but I will very soon if this continues, and have to shave prior to going out to avoid looking like the bearded lady if I'm out for too long.

This happens sometimes, unfortunately. Facial hair can continue to turn terminal well into your 20s.

[CarlaWestin]

I know that I'm probably never going to be a woman so, I've become comfortable with being a man that strays into female territory in different degrees. Whether it's under dressing from just panties to full forms, corset and stockings. Complete passable jeans and sweater, light makeup and flats. Or, full buxom Jessica Rabbit over the top. I just love it all. And, as I mentioned before, there's always that lure of pushing the envelope a little. Grocery shopping in a maid's dress maybe? Reality and fantasy. Gotta have both.

[Bree24]

Boy, It sure would be nice to have a fairy godmother to help me transform when going out en femme. I might even ask her to change me into a woman instead of just en femme LOL. Thanks Hon. I know I should be patient, but that is hard sometimes when you want something so bad and to be/do the best one can. I will be Thanks again

[Bree24]

Hi Carla,
I hear exactly what you are saying. As, I had stated, kind of new to actively exploring my inner femme and dressing. I am working on getting my fully dressed and made up look first. I think if I can get that look decent, I will be able to dress down to jeans and a top and still get that womanly look I still want to present. What do you think

[Majella St Gerard]

Presenting as a female is not important to me, expressing and being myself is. There are times when I wish I could pass as a female, that is usually when I am wearing a costume or for picture time. If I'm playing a role then I want to do it right. But normal me is I dress in women's clothes as a man, I present as a man, I act like a man (a man with feminine mannerisms but a man none-the-less) I have gotten lots of compliments on my look from both male and female. It's not for everyone I understand, everyone has their own reasons for dressing and for wanting to "pass", I just don't feel I have to.

[Lynn Marie]

For me it's the clothes, especially the lingerie! It's really a turn on. I also like to get out, and the thought of not fully presenting as a woman never occurred to me. I may not pass, but I present very well indeed!

[linda allen]

For me, "presenting female" is everything. I might not have it all together around the house, but if I go out in public, the last thing I want to be seen as is a "dude in a dress".

At my age, I can't be "girly", I try to look, dress and act like a woman my age. As someone else put it, the woman I would be if I had been born a woman.

[Cheryl T]

It's very important to me. I may not succeed in everyone's eyes when I go out, but I try my best and present the best image I can.
I feel very female and hope that that is how I am perceived by all.

[Laura28]

I want to present as a female when i dress just wearing the cloths isnt enough i want to the whole look and mannirsms. When i dress i consider my female and i want to present my self as one as well.

[Lexi Moralas]

Cding can be different for every one. For me it is about creating the most authentic female presentation as possible.
If you are looking to advance your skills and learn from some more experienced girl. This an awesome forum to do that. As well as you Can share your trials and tribulations as well. There will be the occasional busy body that like to tell every one how you should cd. But my advice to you is just cd in what ever way makes you happy, other wise what's the point.

[KaceyR]

Welcome to the board Bree.
I like several of the thoughts here.
The thought of at least trying to present well when going out to cd/tg events,etc is good.
Similar to going to another country.. E.g Japan. If you've tried to learn some of the language then people there understand you're taking them (country and people) seriously and they accept you better than as just an 'ignorant tourist'.

I'm glad for YouTube with all of their suggestions. In RL, I have a bit of a shyness aspect going on to really stare/watch everything ladies do. So I really haven't done much mall monitoring. (Feel like I might be seen as a creepy dude just hanging around in a way..). But I've tried to watch some as I've moved about the mall-And there's been some GGs I can tell that have worse mannerisms than me in guy mode even :)
But I'm new to this myself and want to get into a good presentation state before I get out there en femme.
It's kind of a pride + respect for the CD 'craft', and as well a bit of the perfectionist in me that wants to show well.

[carhill2mn]

In answer to your question, it is very important to me to present as a female. My intent is to look like a woman and act like a lady whenever I am en femme.

[suchacutie]

Hi Bree. I'm bigendered, so I want to present successfully in both genders, as separate genderes. The parts of my mind that connect to form Tina see me as a feminine being. The more I present that way successfully the better the feedback to my feminine self, and it just amplifies!

[Bree24]

Seems that i asked a decent question. Love hearing back from everyone. It seems that the majority like to present themselves well. As I go day by day I am seeing myself a bit different. Not in a bad way, but I am realizing that, for myself, dressing and being en femme is more that just outward appearance. It is also an inner self awarness. That said, as for dressing, I am like some of you in which I when en femme I wish to be seen as a woman, my inner woman. So much great feedback Thanks girlfriends

[Marcelle]

Hi Bree,

For me it is not so much presenting as a woman but presenting in the best possible light. I am not sure why but wearing women's clothing, make-up and mannerisms feels right to me as much as when I present "en boy" feels right. I tend to dress to blend and have spent a lot of time people watching to learn about walk, mannerisms and interactions. I find that while I will never pass, these things are important to allow me to blend and just be me.

Hugs

Isha

[Launa]

I find that while I will never pass, these things are important to allow me to blend and just be me. Isha

I will never pass even from outer space but I will still try my very best to blend and dress the best I can.

[Hell on Heels]

I try to succeed at not only passing as a female, I try to succeed at everything I do that is of interest to me.
I'm sure there is a bit of OCD in me, and a fear of failure. I get the clothing and makeup parts of CD'ing, but
the hardest part for me would be voice. I've watched plenty of videos on u-tube but just can't pull it off just yet. Anyone have advice in this area?

[Courtney Ramona]

K so I've never been out as courtney accept halloween!but I don't count that,but if I do ever go out as a female. I plan to go as the girl next store baby doll tee, hippy skirt and chucks women's naturally. but I try to remember that most girls now day wear jeans and wear little bit of make up. so i don't worry about that to much but I do worry about my voice!
For me just wearing dressing makes me feel and act feminine.

[valerieg]

I tend to be a perfectionist. I don't even like to undertake something unless I plan to do it really well. I love the idea of femininity and strive to present myself as much as possible as just another perfectly coiffed woman when dressed.

That sounded good. Now the reality. While I might strive, I know I will never succeed. To a certain degree that's okay. Two months ago, in October 2013, I attended Pinkfest in Chicago. It was the first time I was really out and about in the mainstream while dressed. It was thrilling and freeing. Prior to that experience I had only done the proverbial late night drive or attended one or two "safe" venues: the local TG support group or a well known (but now defunct) regular gathering across town.

Pinkfest was the figurative dive off the pier into the deep water for me. Because it is just a series of lunches, dinners, entertainment, and sightseeing, it is very much out in the mainstream. We don't even all stay at the same place. It was six days during which my only nod to my masculine self was that I had to shave each day before doing my makeup. What I learned was what it is like to be out with the rest of the world while dressed. I learned that, unless it was a dangerous situation, I wouldn't care one whit if someone realized I was not really a woman. I think I almost *had* to learn that. When your first act is to walk the busy streets of downtown Chicago at 10 am, go into Walgreens to buy your metro pass, and then hop a train and buses to get to your first gathering, you really learn what it's like to be out and about. Through it all I did the best I could to be seen as just another woman. At the same time, I realized that I simply wasn't going to die if someone didn't accept me as such.

So, I'm all about appearing to be as female as possible when dressed, but I've learned it's because I think it's wonderful in and of itself and not so much because I'm concerned that I will be spotted as a man in a dress.

I may have strayed a little from the topic of the original post... but OMG(!) it was a great week!

[Launa]

I try to succeed at not only passing as a female, I try to succeed at everything I do that is of interest to me.
I'm sure there is a bit of OCD in me, and a fear of failure. I get the clothing and makeup parts of CD'ing, but
the hardest part for me would be voice. I've watched plenty of videos on u-tube but just can't pull it off just yet. Anyone have advice in this area?

I have been trying to master everything I can about my presentation and I'm almost there....I don't think I can do anything more unless I start going for FFS or something. LOL

I was thinking about the next step which I guess would be my voice and I was thinking maybe I could talk to a singing coach to help me out. I would have to be open about what I wanted to achieve and see if he or she could help

[Hell on Heels]

I find singing to be a lot easier to pull of a fem voice, than just having a normal conversation type voice.
Being the perfectionist type myself, I'm just afraid of sounding like a gay man.

[PaulaQ]

@Launa - what you really want is a voice coach who has experience with MtF transgender clients. Usually the local transgender organization / support group / LGBT center / etc. will have some kind of a pointer to someone like that in your area, if they exist at all. Although "nice to have" for a CD, a feminine voice is pretty much a "must-have" for a trans woman. I've been trying for 6 months to master it on my own, and - I've managed to learn a nearly identical voice to my male voice that is MUCH harder to do. :angry:

So I found a voice coach in Dallas, and I'm going to them. Not all singing coaches will know this stuff, but both of the TG voice coaches I've spoken with over the past year were also singing / acting voice coaches.

edit: I didn't answer the OP's question, oops!

I try to present as female as possible. I'm on HRT, I'm doing electrolysis, I wear women's clothes and shoes 24/7. I generally wear full makeup, but - and here's kind of a dirty secret of mine - if I'm just going to run one quick errand that day, like go to the hardware store, I don't do much or sometimes any, makeup. This definitely reduces my passability, but to some degree, I don't give a crap what other people think - I really don't - and it's the hardware store, for gosh sakes. Who cares?

[Bree24]

How wonderful for you to make it out into main stream. I have not made that jump. I have been to a ts/cd friendly club. I was not completely en femme, but welcomed all the same and that was very nice. Can't wait to go back as Bree and see how that goes. I have also only been searching for cd friendly places to go out en femme to. I guess I am trying to build my confidence before Bree ventures out into main stream. I am still working on all those little manorisms that women have which I think are really key to pesenting myself as womanly as possible. Maybe/ maybe not passible, but am working on them. The voice for me is another teir, which I think I will have to devote much attention to and for that work on that by itself. Having so much fun since I have accepted my inner femme and decided to bring her out into the world. Still a lot to deal with, but it is kind of a new awakening.
Thanks girls

[NicoleScott]

Let me be the minority voice, or maybe the only one with this view.
It's not important for me to "present as a woman", at least in the way that others have expressed it (the total package, physical presence, posture, walk, mannerisms, voice, etc.). I dress to achieve a certain look in the mirror for my own satisfaction and pleasure. There was a period when I had strong desires to go out in public. My transformation style and a lifetime of never having a need to master the walk, voice, etc. made "presenting as a woman" unrealistic. I can and have dressed and made up conservatively in order to pass. - that is, not draw attention to myself and attempt to appear female. It was unsatisfying. So I retreated to the closet and only went to places, like tg-friendly clubs, where I didn't mind being seen as a CDer and was welcomed.
When I am alone with a good private time and place to transform, there are no rules or expectations to conform to any standard but my own. My only goal is to please the guy in the mirror.

[Bree24]

Nicole,
My grandmother gave me a poem a long time ago, it was called "the man in the mirror". Exaclty what you are saying. It really was not a gender specific poem, just the title. Ultimately we only answer to the person in the mirror. If we can be happy with who we see, we are doing well. As I am finding myself, It is becoming clearer to me that my dressing is not only an exterior expression, but also and inner expression of myself. Still want to present myself as womanly as possible, just me, but am beginning to understand there is so much more to underlying.

Thanks and appreciate your input