If the male shoe was on the other foot.

[Jaylyn]

Ok I have been skimming back thru some of the posts on here, waiting for the sun to get up and warm the outside some before I go feed and do some chores outside. I read one post by Nadine, I think, That she thought every one should be honest. While a good read and I won't post on it as I totally agree with its first poster in response Nicole Scott.
Here is my question what if the scenario was reversed. Say what if your spouse or SO came and said they wanted to start dressing like the opposite sex they are. Ummmm how many of us would be the loving mate we want our wives to be about us. ( for real we have a couple of lesbians that have been coming to worship at the Church we attend. Behind their backs many would talk but to their faces they were all nice, now here is what has under gone with them one of the gals has decided she wants to be the male, she has started hormone treatments and has a beard now and is planning on having some sort of surgery) wow the brethren at the congregation are just totally confused. I walked up and shook his/her hand last Sunday and said welcome. On the way home from church my wife asked me what I would do if she said she wanted to become a guy? I was speechless. I told her I would have to get back to her on that. Lol she was just making a point because of my cross dressing. She says it is ok if I CD but please do so in the privacy of our own home. I now understand her point we ask a lot of our wives to accept us but what would you do if the table is turned. :eek::daydreaming::eek:

[bridget thronton]

I would be okay with it

[Beverley Sims]

You have said it in your post and I always consider what you have just said when I make any radical dressing decision.


"we ask a lot of our wives to accept us"

We need to take care of our "Significant Others," and our wives.

[mariehart]

I'd be Ok with it. My wife though would never make a convincing man, no amount of hormones, no surgery could make her convincing. In any case she does wear men's clothes all the time. Mostly mine. Many women do, it's not considered crossdressing.

[suchacutie]

So here is the scenario: "normal" husband and wife have a great relationship. In every relationship there are compromises and a lot of them are related to gender and how the genders are socialized.

Now let both partners be crossdressers, very interested in having a life in the other gender. So as women they can do girl things that the wife might not even think of doing with her husband (or that he might not like to do in male mode). Likewise, when both are guys, they get to do all the "guy" things that might have been lost in the compromise! E.g.: chick flicks in girl mode and action/adventure in male mode; art galleries in girl mode and the golf course in male mode....etc.

What's not to like???

[dragdoll]

Women can wear anything they want and not be judged the same way crossdressers do. I see normal women wearing men's stuff all the time.

[Zylia]

Well, we obviously shouldn't confuse cross-dressing with transsexualism.

[Kate Simmons]

It would work for me Hon. I care about the person first and chosen trappings and decorations second. Perhaps that makes me an oddball in today's society but I'd rather be myself than pretend to go along with everyone else.:)

[AllieSF]

This question always comes up once or twice a year. I honestly would have to understand to what extent my non-existent spouse would want to go with the change or changes. Is it for around the house, an occasional day or night out, what style of clothing, any body changes, and so on? For example and thinking quickly right now, if she wanted to dress occasionally as I do now and her style of clothing was more or less "stylish" as a man might dress, I think that I could live and even enjoy that, especially doing the reversed roles of joint outings into the real world. However, if she was into some sloppy style, I probably would have a lot of serious thinking to do. If she wanted body changes, grow a beard, that would complicate it immensely.

[Kristina_nolagirl]

I agree with Zulia. There aren't nearly as many heterosexual married women into just crossdressing. Women are much braver than us and if they want to be a man most of them just do it and most seem to prefer women. Plus I know for me.... I'm only attracted to extremely feminine women who love fashion and getting dressed up. That being said, if my wife came to me with wanting to dress as a guy, I think it would be cool to go on a date as a strait couple and I'd owe her some acceptance and love :) Saw the cutest little story on tv about a M2F and. F2M in love....it was so cute!

But on another note, thanks for reminding me why I don't go to church! If I were into being judged, I'd just go to court.

[Secret Drawer]

I also agree with Zylia, we don't want to confuse a person who wants to transition with someone who wants to explore the opposite gender world. The secondary problem is in the idea that women are sort of on the path to wearing whatever they want now, without question. My wife wears jeans and slacks pretty much full time. To be honest, the only "sexy" lingerie she has is what I have bought her over time. Unfortunately we are comparing apples and oranges here, doesn't go both ways smoothly.
I think it is only fair to allow whatever sort of life changing experiences come up to run their course. I truly believe in unconditional love both for my wife and my children.

[Karren H]

My wife has more jeans than I have dresses already.....

[MatildaJ.]

The point of the exercise is not to say, "I'd be fine, my wife wears jeans every day already."

The point is to consider how you would feel if your wife adopted a very unconventional way of dressing.

Let's say she gets obsessed with Star Trek conventions and starts dressing like a Klingon (http://www.trektrak.com/2000/sa-05-39.jpg). She now spends all her free time improving her costume, learning how to speak Klingon (http://www.kli.org/), and working on her makeup skills.

How would you feel spending evenings at home with her in full (or partial) Klingon garb? How would you feel attending Star Trek conventions with her dressed that way? How would you feel if she wanted to go out to a movie or to church with you, while she was dressed so unconventionally? Would it make you want to leave her? Would it make you want to discuss moving to a more understanding part of the country? Would you feel this was a fun thing you could share with her, or an annoying new hobby you had to cope with?

[Zylia]

I'd be fine Jess, as long as I'm allowed to tag along dressed up as yeoman Janice Rand from the original series :D But yes, that's a valid question.

[Dani0948]

This one really made me think. My initial cut was of course I would be supportive. My second thought was I'm not sure I would like it. Next I thought how hypocritical I was. Finally I realized that no matter what she did , I will always love her.

[Jenniferathome]

You are mixing terms here. Cross dressing is not the same as transsexualism. Dressing as the opposite sex and wanting to BE the opposite sex are quite different.

[mikiSJ]

If the male shoe was on the other foot.
I would be limping!

Jaylyn is talking about her wife wanting to be a guy, not dress like a guy.

I would have the same problem that my wife has with me wanting to be a woman.

[MatildaJ.]

Jaylyn is talking about her wife wanting to be a guy, not dress like a guy.

Are you sure? Jaylyn said: "She says it is ok if I CD but please do so in the privacy of our own home"

Sounds like she's talking just about dressing, in this post.

[PaulaQ]

Actually, it would've solved a lot of problems for me if my wife had become FtM... I'd have dealt with it fine. I've known other guys who dealt with this with their spouses. A couple of them went ahead and came out as gay to their families, to support their husbands. This happened more often than you might have expected. Or at least more often than I expected - like people in this thread, my expectation was it would happen, well, never. But that isn't the case.

Side note - there really are female cross dressers.

I also think I could've dealt if my wife had gone FtK (Female to Klingon). But at the dinner table, I'd have to insist that she just passed me the damn butter because I can never remember how to say that in Klingon...

[mikiSJ]

Sounds like she's talking just about dressing, in this post.

On the way home from church my wife asked me what I would do if she said she wanted to become a guy?
Uh, I don't think so!

[Tina_gm]

Going to echo what a few have said on here about TS and CD. So.... if my wife started to delve into the world of being TG..... I will be honest and say I would not be thrilled by it. Just being a FTM Cder would not be a deal breaker for me. I would probably feel and be about where she is with me being a MTF Cder. What would probably be a deal breaker was if she was to transition or live full time, and make permanent changes with say HRT.