Simple Q for the Single/Unattached folks here.

[Wildaboutheels]

Single as in NOT "dating"/living with and/or married to anyone currently. Doesn't matter what your preference is in a partner either.

Would you LIKE to share your CDing "secret" with someone else?

How about with even "just" a friend?

Or maybe you are perfectly satisfied with doing your CDing at home in private and have ZERO need to share it with anyone else?

[Zylia]

I'm happily unattached at the moment. Sharing my CD secret is one of the reasons I'm here on this board in the first place, but I certainly would love to share my secret with a few "real-life" friends as well.

[Joanj]

Yes, yes, yes - my god - Yes!
I have come out to a few understanding acquaintances over the years, but never to a partner. It's one of the conditions I now hold myself to. I won't get involved with anyone who doesn't know and approve. It's simply too stressful.

[AllieSF]

Happy in life with one big hole, no mate. I would like to share what I am doing with someone who I know will accept, not just tolerate, my dressing. I have others, primarily family and a few close acquaintances, with whom I would also like to share this side of me. However, there is no need to tell and the potential negative affects far outweigh any minor benefits that I might gain by telling them now. Maybe one day.

Regarding your last sentence. I do not stay at home and would not be content to do that. More people know me as Allie than my male self.

[KaceyR]

Pretty much single all 48 years. Yes and yes..pretty much like Zylia.
Although a CD newbie.. I'll probably still end up telling someone.
Think one friend already suspects anyways. My mom (only direct family member)
Also knows about my Halloween attempt.. She'll probably get told eventually as well.
Don't really think it'll matter to her either, as long as I'm not really doing
It going to local places. (Smaller IN town..think there's groups just north
In South Bend + Mishiwaka but there's much more recognition even of me down
In Plymouth :).
As far as singleness, I may be more desperate ( hey, 48 years :) ) and CDing may
Be more of a limiter factor.. But if I found someone, it'd have to be with them knowing
all about my gaming,anime watching,CDing self from the beginning :) I'm not limiting
Myself just for that.

[Dana M]

to answer the questions yes. Actually the only family that knows is my brother and his wife. Everyone else who I have told have been friends. I'm hoping to dress in front of others.

[Allisa]

Happily single,living alone,not dating,wait do my dogs count? Anyway to the point,I have shared my CDing with a few people and somehow even though I don"t know why but I think my sister and her husband know but it is not a subject to see the light of day.Does going out dressed count as sharing my "secret"?And I am perfectly satisfied with my CDing in private at home and have ZERO need to share with anyone else.On a darker side my CDing has been a deal breaker in some relationships thusly I am blissfully single.
Well bye-bye
Lisa

[Desirae]

I'm 48, single, never married. Been close to marriage, but too many arguments about wanting different things brought that to an end. No, I didn't get around to telling tell her I was TG/CD. Yes, I would like to meet someone and be able to confide this side of me to them and have them accept this part of me fully. Once, in high school, I told a GF that I was CD. She broke up with me. That was the one time I was upfront about my Cding with anyone. I'm sure that because I told her, she told other friends and people we both knew, so I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who know, but I never run into anyone that I went to school with. I've never told any family, however I've been nearly busted more than a few times when I was younger, so, I assume, they know, also. It's not something my family would bring up or talk about. Hopefully, some time in the future, I'll be able to make a friend or two on here. Obviously, I wouldn't have to share my secret with anyone on here, but it would be nice to have a good friend who understands what I feel.

[Lucy_Bella]

Or maybe you are perfectly satisfied with doing your CDing at home in private and have ZERO need to share it with anyone else?

That's me..

[Nikki A.]

Divorced once, widowed once now single. I have two GG married friends who know, have been out with me and accept. Would I like to find an accepting lady to have a relationship with ? Yes, but it is not an all consuming passion as CDing is not all consuming either (at least not yet).

[Kate Simmons]

Totally depends on the other person really.:)

[Brooklyn]

No secrets here... I haven't dated in years but have met 4-5 women who are attracted to MtF CDers. I think they are more in the closet than we are! :rose:

[PaulaQ]

I know this isn't precisely the question you asked - because technically I'm not cross dressed, but I intend to be 100% open about being trans. I didn't come out of the closet to go right back into another one! Screw that noise!

Before I date anybody, I'll make sure there are no doubts about that. If that makes it harder to date, even post-op, well, their loss.

How's that for an answer, Wild? :)

[Connief]

I would love to have someone special in my life, knowing and accepting would be even better. I have told a few "friends", but they are no longer around, hmmm I wonder why.

[Tracii G]

Most of the women i know already know about me and my CDing.
A few guys know and some others don't

[Ineke Vashon]

Long time divorced, living alone. Sometimes it's just the simple things. Today I was sitting next to a woman I'm casually friendly with. I use Sally Hansen nail hardener on my nails, with an extra coat to make them shinier. Looked like her nails were the same way. I would have liked to talk and compare and share knowledge (hers, from life long experience, me, new at it, from wanting to learn) in a comfortable way. And she wore a dress that I wish I could, wish, wish........ Unfortunately, I'm in the closet.

Ineke

[Adriana Moretti]

I have shared that information with a few girl/ friends...they love it...one even took me makeup shopping. Girls would be more understanding than guys.

[Diane Smith]

I'm a lifelong single, not by choice exactly, but as the result of a few early relationships not working out and my intense focus on my education and career in my teens and 20s. A couple of girlfriends have known about my CD proclivities; one was semi-accepting, and the other rejected me outright when she found out. About 15 years ago I decided that any woman I dated was going to know about that side of me from the beginning, and I wouldn't go out of my way to hide it anymore. I'll admit I haven't had a lot of dates, and no lasting relationships at all, since then, but that change in attitude was still liberating in a number of ways. I am more relaxed about going out and being seen, and I'm able to make some visible or even permanent changes to my physical presentation (shaving, long nails, piercings and tattoos, etc.) without worrying whether anyone will take offense. I still think there's a woman out there somewhere who will find me interesting as is, I just need to get out enough to find her.

- Diane

[MisterEgurl]

I am, at the moment, happily single and have been single all 39 years of my life in various states ranging from abject misery to joy. Admittedly, my solitary state hasn't always been happy and has never really been the result of my planning, but as time goes on, the down times have become less frequent and minimal in intensity. I would have loved to have found someone who not only tolerates, but supports my dressing as it is a part of who I am. I would love to find that someone who would love me FOR it and not in spite of it. Unfortunately, I know this is highly improbable and adding this unlikely response to my wishes for love is not making my life, or the pursuit of love, any easier.

I am, admittedly, a bad partner. I've never paid much attention to dating and the process of meeting women. I've been focused on my education, career, business, volunteer activities and various personal goals, all of which have taken precedence over dating and relationships. Now, I realize I am too far gone. I have been single far too long to adapt to opening up, being vulnerable, and allowing myself to depend on another person for anything. I have none of the experiential mass that normal people who have had success in dating and relationships have. So, really, I am a relationship imbecile, I know it and I really have lost interest in correcting this defect. I acknowledge that I have nothing to offer a women (or man) in the way of a fulfilling romantic relationship. I'm fine with that, finally, after many years of wasted grief, pain, and anguish. The death of hope is the only release from the weight of wanting, so to speak. I am free.

At this point in my life, I am ready and determined go it alone to the end. I am happy and fulfilled in every other respect, outside of this perpetual lack of love. Seeing as I have made it this far alone, unaided, I see no reason to change. I see no reason to cast aside the behaviors and methods that have brought me success and happiness in so many other ways.

Admittedly, I allow my crossdressing to act as a shield to intimacy, both emotional and physical; I feel that it is a facet of who I am that is so fundamental that I must share it with anyone I would hope to truly love. By not having anyone in my life that is so close and important to me, I don't have to share that. So, I can remain, neatly ensconced, in my protective armor without the worry of being found out or ostracized from my professional associates and my acquaintances who enhance my life. I would have, at some point, loved to have openly shared myself, including my bizzare tastes in fashion with someone who loved me. But I don't think it's really worth the risk or effort.

Why do I insist on regaling you all with these walls of text? Sorry.

[Sharon B.]

Divorced because of my desire to cross-dress, told a few new friends after meeting some new female friends. Lets just say it didn't go over too well.

[suzy1]

I have zero need to share Suzy with anyone else.

[CarlaWestin]

After reading all the posts I got to Suzy's. And you know what? I really couldn't care less about sharing Carla. I dearly love my wife and she doesn't want any part of the cd thing, at least not yet. And, I'm OK with that. When I go out, I share Carla with strangers. There is a desire to associate with other cd's or accepting women but there's certainly no burning desire. Of course, that could change.

[Ressie]

Single for about 8 years now at the age of 60. Yes, I would like a gf to share my CDing with, but I don't want to out myself to everyone. With a closet that's overflowing with female clothes and wigs it would be hard to keep this secret with anyone that comes into my life. I also have trust issues at this point, so I remain single.

[Paula DAngelo]

You would think this is a simple question but for me it's not quite that simple. Since I consider myself more trans than a cross dresser no mater how I'm dressed I'm "cross dressed". I'm either dressed wrong for my sex, or I'm dressed wrong for my gender. At this point other than when I'm at work I am almost always dressed/presenting as female, and the only reason that I don't dress/present as a female at work, is that where I currently work if I did I wouldn't be working and I can't afford that right now. With that being said the secret that I'm keeping isn't really about my dressing but about my gender identity, and it's only where I work that it's a secret. So to sum things up, my secret of cross dressing/gender identity (dressing as male but identifying as female) is a secret that I don't have much choice in keeping even though I'd prefer not to. Hopefully soon this won't be a secret that I have to continue to keep, but that all depends on how quickly I can find an accepting environment for employment. Hopefully I didn't make my answer to confusing.

[grace7777]

I am 49 and single and have never been married. When I became an adult i never intended to take this path and assumed that someday I would get married. In the last 10 years I have decided that I do not want to get married. I am very happy being single. One reason that I am happy being single is that CDing is becoming an important part of my life.

I started to explore CDing in late 2007. At first I was content to just dress up in private and keep it that way. Over the last 3 years I started going out in public and started out in CD friendly places, but I have been expanding where I go, getting bolder and bolder. Recently I have spent whole day(s) dressed enfemme in public. CDing for me is limited by the fact I have a full time job requiring 40+ hours per week. CDing has become a major part of who I am. I am not willing to give up CDing for a spouse or SO.

I am still in the closet to people I know. I have told one person who I know that is a life coach, who I see about once a year. Some people in my apartment building know I CD since they have seen me come out of my apartment dressed en femme, but we do not know each other personally.

I have considered joining a CD meetup group but have not done that yet.

I am open to the idea of sharing my CDing more if I were to meet the right people.

[oliviall]

Divorced two years now. Being single is something I find highly overrated.

[RADER]

My Wife passed away about 9 months ago. She was OK with my dressing, we where married for 19+ Years.
I would love to hook up with a new special someone.
Rader

[k lynn]

Been divorced 11 years now dont like it but I cant find a girlfriend that is ok with my form of cd always up front and truthful about it dont want no secrets or lies

[brassieres]

Been single all my life, I had one "almost" girlfriend that was ok with it, but we never dressed together at all. I have told my therapist and a few others with the idea of giving it up. I do not presently have any in person friends who are accepting of it at all.

[Alice Torn]

I am very careful about sharing it with anyone, unless i percieve they would not be harsh and condemning. I did make the mistake a few times, but also have shared it with some women, who were less judgmental, or somewhat accepting. None of them were hugging and kissing me about it, though. One lesbian lady hugged and kissed me, but she is in a relationship already. I have nothing to offer a GG , but friendship, as I am out of work, on disability, and cannopt make ends meet. Shame on me for buying so many dresses!LOL. I do need to cut spending on everything. I am getting my phone and internet disconnected this next week, to try and survive financially, and not be homeless again! No way can i have a GF, or wife.

[Audreyanne]

No need to share it. I would prefer it, however, if it weren't deemed such a negative by society, thus requiring having to hide it.

Also, when I have been attached, the need to dress has always disappeared for the duration.

[Alice Torn]

Audryanne, You are the first person i have seen aon here, that has said that, it disappeared, when attached! I hope that happens for me, if ever again i have a GF. I know that is not the case for most, though.

[Cindy CA]

There are times where I wish some one else knew, but then there are times where I'm glad no one else knows.

[Barbara Dugan]

Always being single, it would be nice sharing my crosdressing with someone..I usually get my best looks when I dress to impress a guy something that hasn't happen lately

[weekend woman]

Single, never married, haven't been out on a date in about 100 years. No one knows about Joan except the staff at the nail salon, the wax center, the spa where I go for facials and massages and the GG's I exchange gifts with and one neighbor. Otherwise my dressing is a big secret.

[kelly10]

[Why do I insist on regaling you all with these walls of text? Sorry.]

When you do, you show us how CDing fits into your life and how you have adapted. I for one found this post to be fascinating. We all adapt in, it seems, an infinite number of ways and adjust ourselves to the world and the world to ourselves, in ways that we can find the most happiness. I hope you continue to post. Although you may think it's pointless or a waste of your time or ours, it is still helpful to many others who may identify with your struggles and it can give them a sense of someone somewhere who feels as they do. Please continue to regale!!!

[KaceyR]

My own story's kind of messed up. I'm 48.. Single never married.
Thing is, really, I've never even tried to date or have a relationship except for the time when I was 18 (post
high school). So technically, I somewhat had a GF then.. But I was socially "dumb" thruought school. Add to
that, even at 18 I also was...er technically dumb in the intimacy dept as well. (Probably the only thing I really
hated about my upbringing with no good education from either school or parents about the birds + bees).
Anyways.. Due to all this, in the end, this one was basically playing me for a fool and it ended.

So.. 30 years later and I've still never even tried to get a GF.
It's not that I wouldn't like to have a relationship though. Lord knows I'd love to find someone.
And after so many holidays being around my friends (all who are married) it's been pretty depressing.
But I've just been socially inept to do anything about it to do real well communication-wise
or to take any initiative.
(Psychiatrists would probably have a field day with me...I can see that aside from being a persona for
the fun of dressing, Kacey's probably a bigger 'escape' for me too.)

So with that info out there, my answers are:

At this point, yes I've wanted to share. Although it's limiting in options, I've thought that if I did find
someone, it'd have to be with them knowing the whole me + Kacey. Just plain too much hiding of things
all around, and I'm not going to suppress a part of me just for having a partner.

On my limited family and friends...I have told my family (only mom is pretty much left) who handled it very well.
On friends, I really have 6-7 moderately close ones. I think 2 suspect already. They knew about my Halloween
foray into CDing with the maid outfit and made some great comments about it then. One (gal), Something
came up when we were out shopping and I picked up a wine Gift package for myself (stand was a leopard
printed high heel :) and she brought up a 'you aren't hiding a secret life are you?' question.
Didn't answer then really.. But I haven't brought it up yet since.
I'd thought about telling her at least officially. I'm moderately certain she'd deal with it OK.

I know this response was extra wordy. But my feeling is more on the side that
1: I yam what I yam and I'm not going to drastically change (or cut off CDing) just to have companionship.
2: I am not one to lead anyone on to waste another's time by holding off till later to tell her.
So I'd be letting any potential partners know right away what they're in for. (Caring person, but a psych mess
and a CDer :) ). Just don't want to deal with more weird letdowns and stresses maintaining what shouldn't be.

[AnnieMac]

Ashley Smith I like your comment, "have met 4-5 women who are attracted to MtF CDers. I think they are more in the closet than we are!" Gee, I'll bet you are absolutely right about women that are attracted to cross dressers. Would love to hear both the ones you did meet some day. If you ever fell like sharing - shoot me a PM

[cdintraining25]

Single with roommates here. I'm not sure how it'd go over with them but I've had the desire to go to the local gay hotspot during drag night all dressed up.

[Erica Marie]

I am about as single and unattached as they get. I am dying to have a friend to share my cding with. Preferable a gg but a cd friend close to home would be nice also. I attempted to tell my last gf but she used it against me in the end. I guess it kind of makes me a bit gunshy to try again.:sad:

[Sonya]

I am quite happy being single after a long relationship, I really need to sort myself first before even considering another relationship and they would be informed about by gender variance very early on.


No secrets here... I haven't dated in years but have met 4-5 women who are attracted to MtF CDers. I think they are more in the closet than we are! :rose:

Just wondering where and how did you meet these woman. I am sure they do exist, in fact I remember once I was watching a TV show and a reporter was asking random people on a busy street about what turns them on on a partner, one cute and pretty good lookin woman's answer was man cross dressing.

[Viconia]

I am normally a very private person on even everyday topics. I seriously do not think I would ever share my crossdressing with anyone.

[NathalieX66]

I'm transgender...and I'm attracted to women. Funny how that equation is.

[IHaveNoClueButWantTo]

I don't think that is odd. I am in a similar boat. I am a gay woman, female at birth. I generally feel like a woman inside, except when I feel like a man. When I have sex with women, my more masculine energy comes out and I feel, like a phantom limb, male equipment. It is visceral. I have always been attracted to women and to CDs. When I feel attracted to women I feel like a lesbian or like a straight man. When I feel attracted to CDs I feel like a gay man, like a butch gay male top. I have always watched gay male porn along with other porn. Usually, I like the gay male porn more. This has been an issue for most of my adult life and I decided to join this site to try and figure out what the heck all of this means, if anything, because I am currently single and have been for a long time. I wouldn't want to explore this area if I had a partner. It's super confusing. I literally feel like two different people inside sometimes and it's maddening.


No secrets here... I haven't dated in years but have met 4-5 women who are attracted to MtF CDers. I think they are more in the closet than we are! :rose:

I think you are right. I find that the lesbian community is very accepting of trans folk. There are lesbian butch-femme dating sites and bulletin boards where lots of MtF trans folk meet butch and femme women to date or make friends with and find relationships.