The "First Talk"

[susancheerleader]

I'm still hiding in the closet. Sometimes I think to myself how a conversation would go if I was "caught" while dressed, or if someone found my girlie stuff. Or even if I desided to tell someone on my own.

Would anyone tell thier story of the "first talk" and how it came to be? Did you get caught, or tell someone on your own?

[uknowhoo]

Hi Susan, and thanks for the thread.

I expect most all of us who are still in the closet have turned this issue over and over in our heads. "What on earth could I say to my wife if she walked in right now?" Well, I have some ideas, but what would come out of my mouth would depend in part on the situation.

At his point, I have confided in three (other) different GG's. The first time was almost two years ago, to a therapist, after 20+ years of dressing. I spent the first half hour of our first session laying the groundwork, as it were, before working up the nerve to say the words. I was literally shaking like a leaf, and thought I might crumble into little pieces right there in her office. It was a huge relief when I finally was able to do so. This was > a year before finding this wonderful second home here, realizing that I was not alone at all, and coming lightyears towards acceptance of this duality within myself. It was actually the therapist who suggested seeking out community on-line, in addition to reassuring me personally in the three sessions I had with her.

It's amazing, I was quaking a bit as I typed this, just remembering what it was like. While the experience was somewhat terrifying, it was on the balance positive, and I regret it not one iota.

Hugs to all,

Tammi

[Wendy me]

ok some things you might hear.....

1) what the hell are you doing???


2) are you sick or something ??

3) are you gay?????

4) what are you doing in my clouthes????

5) waite till your father gets home......

6) why are you doing this to me???

7) i am leaveing you.......

8) what happens if the nabiors find out?????

9) you shaved your what???

10) yes that makes you look fat and silly too.....

you just might hear one or two or all of theise....

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Susan

I suggest you read this thread honey

It will give you a good insight into what might happen

http://crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15616

[susancheerleader]

Thanks. I was just wondering the stories you all think might happen if you were suddenly "caught" with no time to prepare.
I've come close but so far my "talk" hasn't happened. :confused:

"Phew, knock on wood, cross fingers, etc."

[Imogen_Mann]

I said to my ex, (this was thirteen nearly fourteen years ago) "I have something to tell you, if you decide to get up and walk away I'll think none the less of you for it... and Before I start... I must tell you.. I do love you" Then I told her, outright...

Forthrightedness (Is that actually a word ??) proved to be the best policy.

Had I been caught... I think it would be harder to explain away the deciet than it would the actual crossdressing.

XX

Jayme

[BeckyAnderson]

I'm still hiding in the closet. Sometimes I think to myself how a conversation would go if I was "caught" while dressed, or if someone found my girlie stuff. Or even if I desided to tell someone on my own.

Would anyone tell thier story of the "first talk" and how it came to be? Did you get caught, or tell someone on your own?

Hi Susan,

I got caught dressed by my wife who came home from work unexpectedly early one day. A detailed account of what took place is on my web site in my Diary. If you would like to read it it can be found at:

Becky's Diary (http://home.comcast.net/%7Eiamacd/diary.htm)

Hugs,
Becky

[SherriePall]

Susan --
Just don't do what I did one evening a little over six years ago. I was lying in bed next to my wife and I was filled with anger over some matter I can't remember now. I blurted out to her, "I'm a transvestite."
It didn't go over well. I got the usual are you questions: gay and do you want to be a woman. Through many tears she asked and then got up and left the room.
It was a rough two days and nights, but then she came around and asked more pointed questions. I showed her some internet sites, but all she was (and is) interested in are causes and cures. She still loves me and I her after 32 years of marriage. She tolerates (without ever seeing) Sherrie, but doesn't approve and wishes it weren't so.

[Lilith Moon]

A detailed account of what took place is on my web site in my Diary. If you would like to read it it can be found at:

Becky's Diary (http://home.comcast.net/%7Eiamacd/diary.htm)


Becky, I have just spent nearly an hour reading your diary. Apart from the starting situation (you got busted, I came out) your wife's responses are just like mine. I have been trying to come to some sort of mutual understanding with my wife for more than three years now and have gotten nowhere, she hasn't budged one iota. I don't know what to do next, and I'm not getting any younger...just like you. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences.

[BeckyAnderson]

Becky, I have just spent nearly an hour reading your diary. Apart from the starting situation (you got busted, I came out) your wife's responses are just like mine. I have been trying to come to some sort of mutual understanding with my wife for more than three years now and have gotten nowhere, she hasn't budged one iota. I don't know what to do next, and I'm not getting any younger...just like you. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences.

Hi Lilith,

Thank you for taking time to read my diary. I placed it online in hopes that others can see that there are so many commonalitites between us and also in the hopes that my account may help someone else.

Hugs,
Becky

[Lawren]

I didn't actually get caught. I spontaneously decided to tell two of my sisiters one night. I was "dressed to kill" in a formal gown, silk stockings, wig, the works, when they came to my apartment. I looked thru the peephole, then made my descision and opened the door. Only then, much to my horror, did I discover that there was a third woman who was one of the biggest gossips in their town. (I grew up in the town next to it) My sisters took it well and the other woman said nothing. That was in '97 or '98 and I have not heard any nasty rumors about me so I guess it turned out well. One of my sisters actually went on to help me choose outfits.

[Rikki Elisabeth]

My wife and I were having a really tough time. I was young and had no clue that telling the truth would be a BAD thing. Now that I am older, I now know BAD things from GOOD things. For example, no matter how often wives ask you to tell the truth, stick to your story. Sorry.

The next morning I awakened to find a complete wardrobe that I had just purchased for my wife cut to shreds and in the trash. I asked why. She assaulted me with curses. She, apparently, told my sister who, apparently, told my mother. I got a call from her blaming my father's side of the family for my deformity. [She might have had a point, however. My grandfather used to have a "drawer" of his own.] After that, my mother never said anything.

Then, about 4 years ago, I had to talk with someone. I called my sister indicating that I was going to a Halloween party. Thank Gawd for Halloween!!!
I showed up at her house looking pretty good. I had a fake invitation, a fake scavenger hunt list, etc. BUT...I then told her that I was a cross dresser and hand been since I was old enough to remember. What did she say? "Is that why you always were into "girlie" things and I was into "tomboy" things?" It took her 6 months to come to grips with her big brother being her big sister. Since then, we have been best of sisters. [Although, she tells me way too much about her sex life. Do all genetic women do this?] She told about two years ago that she finds that she likes me better as her sister than her brother.

So...the answer is yes..but...I was never caught.

Hugs