CD'r or TS????

[Cindy J Angel]

Hi Girls, I have been off the site for some time. I did this to c if being on here and talking to all u girls has in some ways reinforce what I wanted . Am I a CD'R or am I TS. Just like everybody I can think back to my child hood and find times that I did something that would be considered transgender. I had what most people would say a very good childhood. and I would not change it if I could. But sometimes I would read a story and wish I would wake up a girl. All through life I would dress when I could. as soon as I got a comp. that was the first thing I looked up.

There was a lady that put her story online. and I read it from her cding to when she trans and after for a little until she took it down. said she had to move on as herself (MISS HER) . then I found this site and have been here over 5 years on and off. do not post that often.

I dress as often as I can and go anywhere that I need to go. I Read both forums MtoF and transsexual. and I gravitate more to the transsexual site it seam to answer more of what or how I think. even as a man going out with the wife like today I got dress as girly as I could. had my hair done and was going out the door (wife said I am not going with u looking like a woman,,, all Hair) I get that all the time when we are out. I know don't take more than I can get and I get that she feels like a freak with me. But I do pass a lot have not been made for a long time. now she was not mad I just said ok and off we went. So I know that I can not go back to being just a man / some time woman. I need a support group and friends that are there for me which I don't have right now. Nobody wants to be a lone. So for now I guess I will just have to keep cd,ing and working toward becoming the woman I went to be. I have more thing I went help with but it getting late. Love
cindy

[Rianna Humble]

I'm sure you will get plenty of opinions, but in the end, only you can tell if you are really a woman or a man who likes dressing and looking girly. Have you considered that you might actually be bigender with a need to express the man and the woman at different times?

[Aprilrain]

Wether or not you are TS is really up to you to figure out, a therapist versed in gender issues can help but really it's up to you. Once you figure out wether or not you are TS then you have to decide if transition is right for you. If you're like me the dysphoria will decide for you! One thing to consider is your marriage. There is like a 99% chance it will end in divorce, can you live with that?

[mikiSJ]

April's post is spot on.

When I was 'retired' last year I started to dress more often and finally told my wife that I wanted to be out. This became a major issue and I sought out council. After 12 months of weekly therapy I came to the conclusion I was transgender and wanted to begin transition - I had my first injection of estradiol valerate yesterday.

I want to beat the odds for staying together and my wife wants to work towards that goal.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

It's probably not 99% , but there is an excellent chance the marriage would end if you go forward with transition and if not, you are fundamentally changing your wife's life in a way that she may not be comfortable with
you may be escaping your trap by putting her in a trap...as you say, nobody wants to be alone.

who knows if you are transsexual.. dressing girly as often as you can does not mean you are transsexual though.. and be careful about pink fogging your marriage away by getting yourself focused on transsexuality so you can dress more..

in my experience realizing they are transsexual for most people is something they fight and not something they embrace, especially as they get older...I hope that you take your time and think deeply and honestly so that you make the right decision for yourself and your wife.

[mary something]

In my opinion the quickest and best way to scuttle a marriage is to tell your wife that she doesn't know you. Telling her that you are a woman, even if she doesn't agree and that you must now wear female clothes because it is so will also do some damage. Creating a situation where she must agree to you completely changing your body on the premise that it makes you more "you" will probably finish it off.

That is how most women view the typical narrative found in these forums (in my opinion). I'm not saying I have all the answers, but I think it's possible to see the problems and not necessarily know the solutions.

I tried the typical forum narrative in my marriage and it got me divorced. I tried in my next relationship in a completely different manner and everything's going pretty well right now. You have to consider the listener in any communication and I'm not sure we are always doing the best job of that.

[Cindy J Angel]

thanks girls. I try as hard as I can to not lose it. Yes I know if I told my wife that would be it. she knows I dress but doesn't know how far I have come. I do most of my day to day things as cindy. the first thing I do in the morning is put my face on dress and hair. tue is going to be a very fun day going out shopping been putting it off. bigender is a good one for me right now. thinks Rianna I will use that. I don't know the future and how far I can go. but I can hope love cindy

[Eryn]

Cindy, I agree with what others have said. We live in a spectrum and some of us find a "happy medium" between the male and female ends. Others find the need to transition to find resolution. Where you are on this spectrum will eventually become evident to you. Give it time and pay attention to your feelings. Other people's solutions aren't necessarily yours.