Need immediate help in surviving the pink fog

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Ok , I need some expert advise... and quickly. My friend Connie Marie has astutely diagnosed that I am living dangerously in the pink fog. I can only underdress in this stage of my femininity. I can underdress away from the home since my wife does not know about Melissa. For reasons that I cannot discuss at this time, suffice to say, my wife cannot know about Melissa. I am constantly thinking about dressing. It has effected my work product & all of my private time. I need to restore balance in my life because the pink fog is swallowing me.
I know that everyone on this forum has experienced the same. Outside of seeking a therapist, how did you deal with the fog & what other action plan can you recommend? I truly value everyone's advise. Peace to you, melissa

[Kate Simmons]

You need to focus and concentrate on the necessary things you need to accomplish. Dressing won't accomplish them for you, so you need to take control. There are no short cuts.

[Jenniferathome]

Melissa, what are the other things you like to do? Sports? Music? Whatever? Set time to do those. Normalize your life.

Then, after the holidays, prepare yourself to talk to your wife. Until you come clean, this fog will keep coming.

[CarlaWestin]

Well, you are normal. Crossdressing is some powerful mojo. I can't think of anything else that fills the idle time in the brain like crossdressing. Oh, except sex. You need to place everything in it's proper perspective. Crossdressing, like any other passion, can overtake your brain like kudzu (http://www.jjanthony.com/kudzu/)if you let it. Yea, the wife talk is overdue. Tread lightly and good luck.

[Beverley Sims]

Melissa,
Find another interest or hobby.
Try restoring a car.
If you were single I would say find a soulmate quickly.
Do not purge your clothing.
You just store it away.
These are serious suggestions as it does dilute your cross dressing tendencies .

So, find some other interest that will occupy your mind.
When the interest wanes in what you are doing, dressing will return.
At some time you should resolve the issues with your wife, whatever they may be.

[Stephanie Sometimes]

Hi Melissa,

Sorry you are struggling with the pink fog. In my experience, the fog can be a wonderful thing or it can be gain too much control and have exactly the effect you describe. I try to deal with it as a time management issue: if I can get some quality time en-femme, even for a half-hour or so, without other distractions, then I am OK for a while without it and can go about my other activities without the frustration that can develop.

When really stressed with life’s challenges or pressed for time I find that even a brief period of sitting down engaging in meditation and visualization techniques en-femme can do wonders for me. With this process you don’t need to be fully dressed, you really only need one thing that gives you the “CD vibe” be it lipstick or painted nails or underdressing with the right item, whatever works for you. Let the mind do the rest.

I hope you are able to make the changes in your life needed to reach a better balance of peace and happiness.

Hugs,
Stephanie

[linda allen]

This "pink fog" is only in your mind. You are responsible for controlling your thoughts and actions. Take that control. When you find yourself thinking about crossdressing, think of something else. And quit underdressing. Your wife will find out.

[CONSUELO]

Melissa, I think that the most useful thing that you can do right now is seek out a good therapist or counsellor. He/she has to be good and skilled in dealing with cross dressing and related issues. No amount of diversions etc. will help you at this stage. You need to talk it through with someone and get a thorough understanding of where you are right now. If is affecting your work then I suspect that your entire equilibrium is at risk. Only a professional can help with this.
Best wishes and take care

[Alice Torn]

Been there, but without a SO or wife. Try writing down a list of other things and priorities, with dressing at the bottom , or not on the list. I need to do this a lot more!! Maybe tell your wife you ran into a CD in town, and ask her what she thinks about them. Maybe tell her, you had some interaction with one at work, or at a coffee shop, or somewhere, and see what she comments. Slow and easy does it with her. If she seems utterly intolerant, you may have to keep hiding it, or eventually just tell her you must not decieve her, and must be honest and truthful with her with your cding. It could cuse hell, but, it could be a big relief for you, and she may be understanding and willing to compromise, DADT, or really like it. Be prepared for whatever the fallout is. It sure won't be easy at first.

[Katey888]

I think everyone's offering some good advice here - I can empathise with the obsessive nature of CD fantasies. For me, if I know I can put aside the 'props' physically, I can focus more on real life - it may not work for everyone (and it depends on the size of your wardrobe and other materials) but I'd box everything up, packing neatly (of course!) and find the most distant part of your attic/ basement/ garage/ barn - whatever - to safely and discreetly store 'the fog'. It's a symbolic thing, I suppose.
Oh - and then get drunk and do some karaoke (responsibly, of course) :drink:
If you have someone you can talk to but not be specific about the problem, try sharing. And finally, reassure yourself that balance will likely return over time - just try to find the space for that time.
Kx

[NicoleScott]

I don't underdress - it wouldn't satisfy. Maybe yours is quick-fix or a half-fix that doesn't satisfy. I have had times when I needed some good alone time and a good private place where I could satisfy my desire. Sometimes you have to be creative to find that time and place.

[laciewhite]

that pink fog is one of the most powerful forces i've ever experienced and when i'm in it's grip i just do it to death, then eventually its like i blow a fuse and reset to normal for a while. but i am able to indulge myself because my unsuspecting wife works long hours away from home and the kids are all school age, whilst i'm self-employed working from home so i have the house to myself a lot. even so, i can't believe i've managed to go this long without being discovered. underdressing would never satisfy me, i need to go the whole way.
so basically i deeply sympathise with your situation, and if you are unable to find the privacy to really go for it and get it out of your system, or confront the issue with your partner, i can't think of any quick fix practical solutions. this urge is just too powerful and could devour you..
English people like me aren't so eager to jump in the therapist's chair to work out our problems but maybe professional help might be the only option for you.
hope you can work it out somehow..

[AndreaSC]

The pink fog has been hitting me pretty good that when I go to "powder my nose" I sit...even in male mode.

[Lori Kurtz]

I have to second the suggestion of seeing a therapist. You're in a terrible conflict between the pink fog and your drab life. For some of us, the pink fog is a distraction from important things we need to do. So much so that sometimes we need help getting our life back into balance, by diminishing the power of the pink fog. But for some of us, the pink fog is telling us something important about ourselves, and the imbalance might be that our genuine femininity is being stifled. And in those cases, what we might want to consider the "normal" male life is just not right. Which category do you fall into? I don't know, and it sounds like maybe you don't either. And that's where a therapist might be able to help you. Best of luck to you.

[Alice Torn]

Thge trouble with seeing therapists, is, that most give it to you in the shorts with their costs! If you are struggling, like more and more are, therapists may be too blasted costly financially. Unless you are a veteran, and can go to a VA hospital, or find a sliding scale one.

[Tracii G]

Find other things to occupy your time.Hobbies or reading maybe.
The fog can be strong at times but will wane as time goes by.
Have that talk with your wife and tell her how you feel.Maybe even ask her for help in the matter.
I know you are going to say "but I can't" well then you are on your own.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Your problem, and some similar posts I have seen, indicate to me the possibility of Adult ADHD.

I was diagnosed last year, and since taking slow release Dexedrine, I have found working and resisting impulses easier. Maybe see about taking a test? Before, I would find it very easy to "binge" on things or activities, be it food, drinking, taking hot showers, some dressing etc.

[mary something]

how long have you been married? What specifically are you wanting to do that you can't right now?

[Karren H]

Personally I think you need to get it out of your system.... Like go away for a few days and live 24/7 enfemme..... I typically get so burnt out having to live as a woman that I just could care less about dressing..... Binge crossdressing! lol

[Sallee]

I have to agree wth Karen I have dressed fro days in end and usually after 3 or 4 I am burned out and realize no one real cares and dressing is just clothes. It does take a few days of makeup and primping and trying to be fem to realize it and I know it wont work for everyone. But iy does for me

[Alice Torn]

Karren, and Sallee, Great ideas. Like aversion therapy! I know what would make me want to stop dressing for a while. If i go out and walk around town, and the neighborhood, in just lingerie, and heels, out in the frigid weather. In the police car, and jail, i would have no pink fog. either.

[lesli]

i understand your situation, i have hit that many times. the way i cope with it is the same as how i work my job: i'm a computer programmer and consultant, when i work from home i ran into an identity problem trying to tell if i was working and how to bill my clients. what i came up with there was shoes and tie and i'm at work. Now the same applies to my dressing desires: i keep things separate from daily life. when i am going to dress--full or partial--i make time to do so. if i wear anything hidden like a panty or stockings, then i only do that when i'm not working as it's a distraction for my professional life. i make time to dress and plan on the level of dressing that i am going to do that day and how to pamper myself, in other words, i plan my time and know there is a time to indulge my dressing needs and times not to do so.

if i don't make the plan, then i find the pink fog settles in and i am a mess.