Acceptance and Inclusion..one is a step up from the other..

[Rogina B]

Last night I was unexpectedly honored in front of a group at a post performance gathering after our "favorite" band had done their last gig of the year. I was talking away with a group when some one suddenly spoke up and said "ROGINA We've discussed this and I am speaking for all of us here..We want to thank you for bringing diversity to our small town nightlife.We would never see,and certainly get to know,a person like yourself,in a million years here on Amelia Island,if you hadn't bravely put yourself out there to us.We sure are glad that you have over the last year here at O'kanes. Any one that shunned you[very few considering the religious makeup of the community] is no friend of ours,and I am speaking for all that are here tonight" WTF is this all about? An ego booster? No, I am writing to say that "acceptance" means no angry mob with torches and pitch forks but it takes "inclusion" to form friendships. Everyone's lifestyle is different,for sure. However,a common theme that I read here on this entire forum,as well as the postings from my FB friends,is that they are having a lonely life,if single..I have,like some others here,put myself out there to the mainstream world.Not only is it the best way to make friends,it educates people about the "T world" in a subtle but very effective way while breaking down people's imaginary boundaries.Perhaps your personal results may vary,but you have to give,in order to get.Nothing ventured nothing gained...Go make some new friends in the mainstream world. Inclusion will follow acceptance!

[Beverley Sims]

Rogina,
Inclusion follows very close behind acceptance.

[Sara Jessica]

Indeed, you are so right Rogina.

Friendships are to be cherished. They go beyond simply being out in the real world and more often than not, they transcend the trans.

Inclusion as you describe is yet another step. It can be subtle and at the same time, it can be hard to achieve because you cannot ask for it. Inclusion must be given freely and is something that is done among friends despite the trans. It could be as simple as trust in others, especially given the inherent secretive nature (to a certain extent) that many of us are forced to maintain.

My own little story of inclusion has to do with one of my best friends, Diana. She included me in a birthday celebration at a restaurant with her boyfriend and nearly a dozen members of her extended family including mother and sisters. It was a perfect example of friendship going beyond the trans and was something that I will always remember as simply being another woman in the room.

[Marcelle]

Hi Rogina,

What a great story. I hope someday inclusion and acceptance awaits me.

Hugs

Isha

[Rogina B]

Not always,Beverly! Acceptance can mean that people are "cool with you". Inclusion means they actually want to be your friend!

[Launa]

Hi Rogina,

What a great story. I hope someday inclusion and acceptance awaits me.

Hugs

Isha

Me too!

I am going to try and keep putting myself out there, hopefully I can make good friendships too!

[CarlaWestin]

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Rogina, your experience brings hope that there really is light at the end of the tunnel. Acceptance and inclusion in a soial group are often the result of familiarity. Have you always been Rogina in this social setting? Or, did you come out to this group? Your story is wonderful but, I'm always suspicious of the celebrity of diversity. Although it is pleasurable to be recognised and aplauded for contribution and support, I just find the lable mongering to be a little too patronizing.

[trish lee]

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone could feel the love.

[Rogina B]

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Rogina, your experience brings hope that there really is light at the end of the tunnel. Acceptance and inclusion in a soial group are often the result of familiarity. Have you always been Rogina in this social setting? I have always been Rogina to them and was around the same places when we lived there 5 years ago,but I stayed in the backround in the small island town nightlife.At the time I had some positive reactions as well as a few negatives of sort. In the last 14 months since returning,I have "put it out there" as I do everywhere else. Bringing gender diversity to the local nightlife is just how "my group" sees it. To me,and lots of us,it is just being me.

[Beverley Sims]

Rogina,
I can accept that sometimes I do not think too deeply about things.
Thank you for the heads up. :)

[Rogina B]

Beverly,TG girls at church[non UU churches that is]is an easy example of acceptance by doctrine ,with usually no inclusion..I have girlfriends that mention that often...

[LaraPeterson]

Hi Ro, I am so glad that experience came your way; now, if you could only get all the unaccepting, sometimes well-meaning people around here to open their eyes to the truth that we really are pretty normal people! That is absolutely fantastic news. I hope when I get down to FL in a few months, you can take me to that place. I'd love to rub shoulders with some folks who let us mainstream without a second look.

Here around Memphis there IS some acceptance, but it is a "fer piece" from inclusion. I'm still considered an oddity by most. I'm still saying WOW!

[mary something]

Other people's inclusion towards you is more dependent upon your acceptance of yourself than anyone else's. Good job!

[Marleena]

Acceptance leading to inclusion, great concept! Changing attitudes through interaction one person at a time.:)

[Rogina B]

And last night I was "included" by being both invited and expected at the private Christmas party held by the waterfront redneck restaurant across the street from me. I always have a great time with the girls and even the guys are starting to tolerate me quite well,considering their culture! But all the hugs come from the girls! lol