Loneliness and Crossdressing

[brassieres]

Do you feel that you crossdress more when you are feeling lonely? I surely do!

[Alice Torn]

Being a life time59 year old single, there is truth to this. It contributes, for sure. There are other things i can do, like cleaning, walking, listen to music, talk radio, work on car. But, lonliness, and no special someone, does surely contribute a lot to Cding.

[Rachael Leigh]

To be honest even though I'm married I feel alone as well, with a wife who just wants no part of this it makes it very hard, I want her happy and want make her happy, and totally giving my dressing up would I'm sure but I'm just not sure I could do that. I just wish she could understand. So I guess the loneliness isn't just for you single gals

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Very good introspection & one that I will give a lot of thought. It certainly narrows down concerns in a relationship that , for whatever reasons, do not get addressed. Peace, melissa

[Melissa_59]

I live in a small town in West Texas, the friends I have I can count on one hand with fingers left over. I'm pretty introverted though, being by myself is not a problem. There is a difference between "alone" and "lonely" though. I'm alone, but rarely lonely.

[NicoleScott]

Yes, but sometimes the tail wags the dog: we isolate ourselves so that we can crossdress. I know others hate it, but I value time alone.

[LaraPeterson]

And the tail wags hard, Nicole. Some days, I just want to be left alone to dress and enjoy the company of myself. On those days, it seems I can only communicate my inner musings in the mirror; no one else would understand.

[Kate Simmons]

Unless we do a lot of socializing en femme, CDing is pretty much a lone wolf profession.:)

[JenniferR771]

Yes...crossdressing can be isolating. You feel like you have a big secret--and that no one would approve or be your friend--if they knew the truth.
A support group helps--just a bit.

You have to accept yourself first...I think...then go out and meet someone. You are not perfect--she is not perfect--perhaps it will balance out.

[Karren H]

Not even close to being lonely.... I wish I could be and feel more alone.... Just way too much to do and way to many people to do it with and for.....

[ArleneRaquel]

No way that this old gal feels lonely.

[Beverley Sims]

Maybe, when younger and nothing else to occupy your mind.
Fortunately I do not have time to feel alone.
Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a temple of solitude like Superman...... Or woman. :)

[laciewhite]

i never feel lonely...i was an only child and i learned to enjoy my own company and keep myself occupied from an early age.

i relish time on my own - more time for dressing and having fun with myself!

[Barbra P]

How much of the loneliness is a result of cross dressing? I suspect that even those here that are out and about didn’t start out that way. It’s difficult to make friends and develop meaningful relationships while hiding in the closet. When we were in school how many times did we rush home so we could spend some time alone, some CD time, before our parent(s) got home? How many times have we told the guys at work that we didn’t have time to stop for a beer after work because we had something to do? Rather than go over to Bill’s and watch the game with the guys we stay home with our alter ego.

For the vast majority of us, at least in the beginning, cross dressing is something we did, maybe still do, in private because we didn’t and probably still don’t want anybody to know that we are a cross dresser. It is a life of secrecy, a life where we guard what we say for fear we will reveal our true selves. A life where we don’t want friends just dropping over any time they feel like it – because then our secret would be revealed.

It’s true that we cherish our time alone, but in time, for many, that cherished time can gradually evolve into loneliness. We have no one but our alter ego to share our lives with and out alter ego may be a boring conversationalist.

[Alice Torn]

I can see where Leigh is coming from, that one does not need to be isolated to be lonely. Often, I have been most lonely, in a crowd, at church, restaurants, or with people. I have dated women who condemned crossdressing. Being married to a lady who wants nothing to do with it, has to be very lonely at times. Truth is, I am more and more content to be alone, and i am not as lonely as i used to be. Cd does have a lot to do with it.

[Lucy_Bella]

Loneliness and Cding..

I wish I could say my worst day of Cding was better than my best day at work..But no nothing beats fishing there's a whole world out there .. I feel more lonely with a room full of people and Cding has nothing to do with it, for me anyways..

[suchacutie]

Married 40 years with a completely accepting wife, lonliness is never an issue. However, let's not mistake lonliness for missing our feminine selves. When life keeps Tina in the closet on hangers and in boxes, she is missed. No lonly, just longining!

[gautier_nikolai]

Yes including the shopping for new items to make new outfits and such.I have done that alot for months.

However, i have found it definately doesn't work for me anymore.I just crashed lately and wanted to chuck eveything out.

Maybe a big crash after a big foggy period or maybe just that clothing and buying stuff only numbs the loneliness for a while like any drug i guess.

[Devin C]

Well I'd have to say that my first marriage of 18 years was the most loneliest time of my life. Because she made me hide my cding. Yet it was filled with people I hold dear to my heart. Now I have a wife who is very supportive most of the time about my cding. An I've not felt lonely one bit.

[ArleneRaquel]

I have more of a social life now at age 65 than I did at 50.

[Desirae]

I think crossdressing is for the most part inherently a "one player sport". Unless you get lucky enough to find someone to share it with you. Most things in life are generally better when you have someone to share it with. Cding is no different. Without that someone to share it with, yes, it can be lonely.

[Jackie7]

I agree with Arlene Raquel, I have a much richer life now, in my mid-60s, than ever before. Mostly because of my accepting and encouraging wife. As othes have said, it was really lonely in the closet, playing DADT with my first wife.

[AllieSF]

Being lonely is not my reason for crossdressing. I live alone with my best friend, my cat, and do get lonely every once in awhile. I have always enjoyed a good social life being out meeting and talking to people. With this new hobby of mine, I have more fun and can actually say that I am hardly ever lonely anymore. It keeps me very active, which as we all know is better than being idle and converted into the Devil's workshop!

[franlee]

I would be less inclined to CD when lonely. As a matter of fact I enjoy it more when I get to socialize with my wife. But then again I use my Cding for stress relief also that needs time to and for myself but not lonely.

[carhill2mn]

My experience has been that no matter how I am feeling I feel better when I am totally en femme!

[Stephanie Julianna]

I'm lonely at home when it comes to my cross dressing because I cannot share my enthusiasm about female clothing and make-up with my wife. However, I am always meeting and interacting with people while dressed. I usually only get outed when I have to show a driver's license when using a credit card. When I tell them the picture does not match because I'm transitioning (I'm not.) it has been incredible how supportive everyone has been. I used to worry about the occasional bad day when I got read but I think the general public is more accepting then ever and I don't feel lonely even when shopping or dining alone. I love it when store staff compliment my shoes or outfit as they pass without anything but genuine girl talk. It makes me feel like a member of their club.

[JennyLynn]

I certainly do dress more when I'm lonely, but when I dress I want to be with a "fantasy friend". Another crossdresser would be so welcome. I'm not easy, as it's a tough situation where I live...and a girl has her standards!! It would be nice to have a local friend, but I can live with my dressing on my own. We are in such a risky situation, especially when we are not out. I tend to dress sporadically. Mostly in the winter months. I hate having hairy legs in the summer!!!!!!!

[kimdl93]

I'm happiest when I can present myself as a woman in the company of other people. There was a time when was a solitary pursuit. Although my wife had known and accepted my CDing, mostly underdressing, since before we were engaged, I'd never been dressed completely In her presence until a couple of years ago.. After a while I was dissatisfied with being dressed alone and really, that was terribly lonely. So I asked her if it would be ok to do so in her presence. Fortunately, she was agreeable.

[Rogina B]

Get out and make some new friends...what is holding you back?

[GretchenJ]

Yes, but sometimes the tail wags the dog: we isolate ourselves so that we can crossdress. I know others hate it, but I value time alone.

I agree with Nicole, I have always been introverted, and although I am happily married, there are moments where I need to be alone to decompress, and along with it come the ability to become Gretchen..

So it could be a chicken or the egg thing

[MayaMe]

I do want to dress more when I am lonely. It is something to look forward to and puts me at peace for a little while. My loneliness comes mostly from my shyness and not having a social life, but keeping a part of me hidden does play a role.

[Adriana Moretti]

cding can be lonely if you MAKE it lonely...I am just getting back from a purge, but you can bet I am trying to meet other gurls in my area and BEYOND to hang out with, dress with, I have had cd friends before, and will have them again, thats why I joined here, to meet girls from everywhere. Cding is fun...and sitting home alone dressed gets boring ...to me anyway. I am up for a roadtrip, a getaway, a vacation...sleepovers anything... any girls out there interested in something like that get in touch with me. It CAN be isolating...and I dont like that feeling either ! We all do it, I just think after a while it becomes unhealthy..just my thoughts on it..I went through a dark phase where all i did was dress alone...once I made friends...it became alot more of an enjoyable experience and I had people to share with in person. Do we dress more when we are lonely? I do...and I think we do it when we get stressed or have a bad breakup...just a few thoughts...

[Eryn]

My life is so much richer now than before I came to terms with my CDing. I've met wonderful friends and we often do things together. Shopping, theater, concerts, fairs, etc. Yes, I love to express myself by being en femme, but what I do while I am en femme makes it even more fun.

[Kate's at home]

What Nicole and Lara describe I think is so true. I also find that with life being very busy and demanding outside the home, it's nice to come home and fall into that alter ego and just relax.

How many here are so busy and around others constantly during the work week that you relish the alone time on weekends, with or without a spouse or S/O?

Kate

[Laura Collette]

Since I retired earlier this year, I've spent a lot of time dressed while in the house alone. I haven't been able to leave the house as Laura, so crossdressing has become very isolating for me. I wish this would change and that I could go out as Laura but that will require some challenging negotiation with my wife as well as a lot more courage on my part. Meanwhile, this forum has been wonderful.

[JessicaKasey]

I used to do it when feeling lonely but I've been in two relationships where I've crossdressed when that urge became strong enough. Sometimes you just want to!

[reb.femme]

And the tail wags hard, Nicole. Some days, I just want to be left alone to dress and enjoy the company of myself. On those days, it seems I can only communicate my inner musings in the mirror; no one else would understand.


Yes, but sometimes the tail wags the dog: we isolate ourselves so that we can crossdress. I know others hate it, but I value time alone.

Both of these posts effectively sum up my feelings. Whilst having family, friends etc. around is nice, I'm just as happy being in my own company. So alone sometimes yes, but lonely no.
I was brought up in a busy family house (7 in total) so I quite like it this way now. :daydreaming:

Rebecca

[JennyLynn]

I guess I dress because it's a part of me, but it is definitely linked to feeling so alone sometimes. There's no one that is close and understanding and it wears on the soul when you feel you are the "only one". Even though I know we are all around the globe, it's hard to be stuck in the house, much less, in the closet! I dance and prance with the blinds closed, but in the end...I am alone.
Maybe I don't dress because I feel alone, maybe I feel alone because I dress. I don't like the description of "dress"... I feel alone because I'm both man and woman. No friends when being both. At least being honest.
Jenny

[robindee36]

Not sure lonely is the right descriptor. Living in the closet requires being alone to dress, but that is not all bad. However, being dressed with no place to go can contribute to a bit of incomplete fulfillment. Getting the balance right is what life and dressing are all about for me.

Hugs, Robin

[IMkrystal]

Your post struck a nerve because it sounds familiar. During my younger years this behavior was true. Being left alone was what I desire because of the sexual satisfaction crossdressing gave me. It was something I did that I had tried sharing with chosen individuals that always ended in disappointment and a feeling of hurt. Sharing was not an option therefore around people I always had in my head the fear of them knowing about my crossdressing and not being accepted. Having been a member of this website for over six years, I took a change last year with my girlfriend of three months, resulting in her commenting how sorry and disappointed she was and leaving me with a big hole in my heart.
Crossdressing has left me alone, older, and a feeling this will be my life to the very end.

[brassieres]

I am very sorry to hear that IMkrsystal! A lot of women just find crossdressing, well, unmanly and will not go out with someone who cd's. I had a girlfriend way back when who was like that too! It was a very short lasting relationship.