what do you enjoy about being trans in your life?

[mary something]

Please list one or two things that you find rewarding and valuable about being TS or TG in your life. This question is open to anyone who wishes to answer it and considers themselves at least transgender although my specific interest is in the day to day transsexual experience.

[Kimberly Kael]

I am extremely grateful for how aware being trans has made me on any number of fronts. I appreciate the subtleties of gender roles and the influence they have over people's lives in a way I doubt most people give much thought to, and I have a great deal of empathy for anyone who struggles for acceptance by virtue of being non-mainstream in some fashion. I think this particular life experience has made me a better person as a result.

[Lilo]

It has made every other challenge in life seem ridiculously easy.

[Annaliese]

It has taken me 60 year to come to this point, I am thankful that I am starting to be my self, letting other see my for who I am, some have accepted me other have not. I am me now, I am thankful for that.

[ArleneRaquel]

To me my life has never been better and I have more joy in all aspects of my life.

[Frances]

People do not think I act or express myself weirdly anymore. Also, men look at me with interest.

I guess I am answering the question "what is positive about having transitioned." There is nothing particularly positive about TS or TG as far as I can see it.

[I Am Paula]

I have a sense of identity more than just what it says on my passport.

[Jorja]

It has been over 20 years since I considered myself Trans anything. For me, the best part was moving on past that time when I was considered Trans. I am just me, Jorja. Like me or don't, it is your choice. However, if you chose to not like me, you will never know what it is like to have a true friend in your life.

[Marleena]

Curling up in my bed with a smile on my face at the end of the day =priceless. I've never known that before.

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I have a sense of peace and purpose.

[PaulaAnn]

For the first time in my life I am truly content within myself.Although it has taken over 50 years to reach that condition,the struggle and turmoil to be my true and honest self was worth it.At long last I love ME;I'm accepted and loved....but now I can emphasize and honestly understand others who are on the same path as myself.I bless every day of my transition,despite the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" that sometimes bar my way.
I am such a lucky girl....Woo Hoo.
PaulaAnn

[Anne Elizabeth]

Even though I am just starting the process of change. I an thankful the inner turmoil is disappearing and myself is coming out. It is great finally being able to accept myself for me and to just be me. Unfortunately, there will be a small path of destruction in the background. That is what really hurts!

[arbon]

There were a lot of positives from transitioning - the biggest ones were finally getting to a place where I am okay with myself and becoming less concerned with what people thought of me. Also I found I was a lot stronger person then I knew I could be.

Enjoyment from being TS though, I don't know. Sometimes it can be a little amusing to see peoples reactions once they realize your trans. Its like the wheels in their head spin out of control lol sorry,

[thechic]

The best thing about being TS ,Is You find out who your real good friends are.

[Suzanne F]

Finally letting someone see me! It has been so liberating to finally go out in the world as the woman I am inside. It has been the toughest and best year if my life!
Suzanne

[ArleneRaquel]

SuzanneI can feel the glow from your post. Best Wishes Darlin !

[Angela Campbell]

What do I enjoy about "being" trans......about the same thing I would enjoy about a root canal.

[Rianna Humble]

I find it impossible to think of anything that is rewarding or valuable about having been born transsexual.

For me the value and the reward come not from being transsexual but from doing something about it.

[Marleena]

I have found that dealing with who I am with HRT has helped and that is in my first reply.

As far actually being TS well "bah Humbug".

[Carlene]

Like so many others have said, I value the feeling of self acceptance that seems to be growing with each passing day.

Can someone please explain to me, why I am experiencing an inner peace in the face of behaving in a fashion so misunderstood and poorly accepted by society? I can't explain it, but I do know the pull is very strong and so welcomed within my core.

Carlene..:daydreaming:

[Jorja]

Carlene, just don't worry about it. If you are happy and enjoy it, do it. Life is too short for all the rest of the BS

[kimdl93]

When I accepted myself fully as transgendered I found a confidence and self assurance that was often lacking. I tackle problems and challenges with fewer reservations. After all, if I can face the world as a woman, I can handle most anything.

[Kathryn Martin]

Mary, from my perspective once again wrong question. There is nothing enjoyable about being transsexual. It's a bloody goat rope if you ask me. Now being whole is great, but what does have to do with trans anything?

[LaurenB]

I think the dissonance that is part of being this way has and always will feed a creative energy that wouldn't exist otherwise. It's been there since I first realized that I was different from other boys. Not that it doesn't have it's downsides, of course, but that energy has helped me form some great creations. I feel too, that because of it I am so much more aware of what is going on with people, situations and a strong sense of which way to go. Does that make any sense? It's hard to describe. Talking to cis-folks I never have heard anything similar.

[Cindy J Angel]

being ts/tg is so hard and I still do not know who I am. but the good I feel that it makes me be a better person. I can not stand racism and it makes me try so much more to be open of others. I have always tried to be that person

[GabbiSophia]

Mary, from my perspective once again wrong question. There is nothing enjoyable about being transsexual. It's a bloody goat rope if you ask me. Now being whole is great, but what does have to do with trans anything?

I am really surprised I didn't see this more. I agree so far everything I can see of it stinks.

[mary something]

Mary, from my perspective once again wrong question. There is nothing enjoyable about being transsexual. It's a bloody goat rope if you ask me. Now being whole is great, but what does have to do with trans anything?

because I think it is important to build value in being who you are.


I feel too, that because of it I am so much more aware of what is going on with people, situations and a strong sense of which way to go. Does that make any sense? It's hard to describe.

I agree, once I accepted myself and took the time to really understand myself it has been a great advantage in my life when dealing with people, I am able to see gender where other people can't, and I am able to express myself in different ways to different people to the benefit of both of us.

Personally it has given me the gift of feeling that I have nothing to lose. My entire life what held me back in many situations was myself, I don't do that anymore and it is reflected in how I make choices now, and that I'm living my life to make myself happy and it's actually working.

[Aprilrain]

Being trans hasn't taught me anything, Transition has taught me much. Going from Privileged white male to obvious transsexual to female has really opened my eyes on a lot of socio-economic/political/religious issues that I could easily disregard before, So basically losing male, hetero and cis privilege (I'm still white however). I've regained hetero and cis privilege but with a new understanding of what it's like to lose them. I'm in a lesbian relationship but unless one saw us making out one would assume we were hetero because we do not look like stereotypical "lesbians," therefore we enjoy hetero privilege in spite of being gay. Most people just assume we're sisters.

Mary, assuming you continue moving forward with transition (social and phisical) you will eventually move past being trans. Yeah I get it, I will always be trans, my experiences in life will always be different from a GGs. I will always have issues to deal with that GGs just don't. But Building value in "being trans" is just not important to me now.

I stopped denying the fact that i was in pain, faced my fears, ripped the bandaid off the festering wound that was my life and slowly it has healed. Transition is like using soap and water and regularly changing the dressings. The wound heals it's self. The only thing worth celebrating here is that I survived. No one celebrates having cancer they celebrate surviving it!

[Angela Campbell]

I agree, once I accepted myself and took the time to really understand myself it has been a great advantage in my life when dealing with people, I am able to see gender where other people can't, and I am able to express myself in different ways to different people to the benefit of both of us.

Personally it has given me the gift of feeling that I have nothing to lose. My entire life what held me back in many situations was myself, I don't do that anymore and it is reflected in how I make choices now, and that I'm living my life to make myself happy and it's actually working.

But would you have even needed to do this if you had been born Cis?

Not knocking this as I see it as a good thing to look on the bright side of things and look for that silver lining, it's just that arguing a little is kind of fun.

[Chloe Renee]

Aprilrain pretty much summed up my thoughts.
Truth in seeing society and its biases. Also, the well being that comes from becoming comfortable with being yourself.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

accepting and understanding yourself is valuable to all people. it has nothing to do with understanding yourself to be transsexual..
feeling good about yourself is valuable to all people...almost every person on earth deals with self awareness and self confidence issues that hold us back...cisgendered or not..

there is nothing trans about these concepts...

please tell me mary how being able to see gender where other people can't is a benefit to you and some examples of how expressing yourself in different ways to different people benefits both of you...

other than casual discussions where I am telling my daughters about what "boys really want".... I don't see it...

what I enjoy about my trans life is the same thing I've always enjoyed...movies, music, a good laugh especially with family ...

[mary something]

But would you have even needed to do this if you had been born Cis?

Needed to? probably Been pushed to by the force of my own identity? Definitely not! :)

How many middle-aged cis people are having the time of their lives?

How many cis people have experienced as much personal growth as you have in the last two years in their last 5 years?

I didn't think you were arguing! I appreciate you taking the time to ask!

Angela- I think that is what the Chinese proverb means when they say "may you NOT live in interesting times" haha

[Angela Campbell]

Since I believe the reason I am here is to experience things, I have to relent and confess that because I am transsexual, I have experienced things no one but a transsexual ever will, both good and bad.

[Allison_Leslie]

I enjoy the feel of starting naked and sliding the tights up my legs, jumping back on the bed and pulling them up over my ass.. I love long satin opera gloves on my limbs... I LOVE bras and breast forms SO much especially after they warm up to my body temp.. I really enjoy the feel of a skirt and my legs not restrained to pantlegs!! I love the feel of applying makeup and learning and learning... love eyeshadow.. NOT FOND of mascara at all.. wish I could learn how to put lashes on.

I LOVE DRESSES.. SKIRTS.. I love the slit-side skirts with one leg showing more nice thigh-level stockings.. mmmmmmmmmmm hot!

I love the feel of velvet against my skin .. the smell of perfume on my body.. ooooooooooooooh .yes.

[Memzy]

The best thing about being trans in my life?

Being my self, in all my glory. It's like living life all over again.

Yup that sums it up.

[mary something]

accepting and understanding yourself is valuable to all people. it has nothing to do with understanding yourself to be transsexual..
yes, everyone in their life has a need to accept and understand themselves as the man or woman that they are. Trans people have twice the work, but also twice the potential wisdom to learn from it, that is why in my opinion in other societies and times in histories they typically worked in the religious aspects of the society they lived in.

I had to understand myself well enough living in the male role to know that I needed to transition FOR my health, then we are tasked with understanding how to fit into the world as a woman socially and understanding ourselves in that way well enough to fit in and connect to other people. I don't think these lessons have to happen in chronological order either.


feeling good about yourself is valuable to all people...almost every person on earth deals with self awareness and self confidence issues that hold us back...cisgendered or not..

there is nothing trans about these concepts...
I agree that there is nothing trans about this, but being trans means we try to do this twice. It is an additional burden in that way but it also gives us the ability to see the world from either perspective (male or female) at some point. That is a wonderful thing about being trans but the price is high and can be almost insurmountable depending on how well someone learns from their mistakes or chooses to blame others (including themselves)


please tell me mary how being able to see gender where other people can't is a benefit to you and some examples of how expressing yourself in different ways to different people benefits both of you...
It allows me to be close to people and understand their motivations sometimes better than they do (in real life). I made a very good living in sales because of this, after a while I was given the responsibility to be a closer. That is the person that comes into a negotiation when it is about to fall apart, bonds quickly and establishes trust, and then helps everyone get what they want out of the transaction in the way that they are capable of doing it. It was a rewarding job and I made a lot of friends with the clients that I worked with, got an amazing amount of gifts and job offers too.

It gives me the tools I need to be the parent I need to be in a very challenging situation. If I were cis then I simply wouldn't have the complete emotional toolkit to work with that I have because of my trans nature.

It has given me the tools to create a relationship of consummate love with my partner that even after years of living together in a very stressful situation has incredible intimacy, friendship, and support even while living in an environment that is difficult for someone to imagine how stressful it is until you've done it.

When I'm not in lecturing mom mode people usually seem to enjoy communicating with me, and I enjoy communicating with them because it allows me to connect with others. I'm guessing but how could it not be because of who and what I am?


other than casual discussions where I am telling my daughters about what "boys really want".... I don't see it...

what I enjoy about my trans life is the same thing I've always enjoyed...movies, music, a good laugh especially with family ...

good luck with that, they probably already know exactly what boys want LOL :) I try to explain to my daughters that they might not want what they have been told by society that they want so much lol. I think the fact that so many women get divorced in their early 30's and that 75% of divorces are initiated by women are a testament to this. I don't want my daughters to fall in to this trap that a LOT of women deal with and causes them a lot of pain.

I like all of those same things too.

Kaitlyn have you ever watched Geena Davis give an interview? You ought to sometime, girl is a genius, really. Yet society has conditioned her to express herself completely differently than a man with the same IQ level. Compare that to a Larry Ellison interview for effect. A transsexual is tasked with learning BOTH of their roles not as an actor but by understanding WHY they do what they do. It's a difficult task.

When you are able to see the social pressures of role and how it affects someone and influences their behavior it makes it much easier to see their personality and their character, strengths and weaknesses. It also changes how you view the world around you in such subtle ways that you realize that there is no such thing as a strength or weakness, only qualities that at different times could be considered either.

[Angela Campbell]

Well there is one thing......I get to pick out my own name.

[Marleena]

At this point I feel like apologizing to all the visitors reading this.lol.

[PaulaQ]

In guess I "enjoy" the fact that it has made other terrible things in my life that I've survived seem not so bad in comparison, and made me grateful for coping and survival skills I learned during those times.

I guess that's about it.

[Allison_Leslie]

I was just telling my boss today that I plan to take my tablet and put it in the kid basket on the shopping cart in Walmart and innocently video my shopping spree.. Have to wait for that my scooter is broken down right now but I totally plan to document some of my initial experiences out and about :) And grocery shopping sounds like fun !! Great idea! :)

No I'm not being mocking either I really am excited to get out...!

Please be patient with me :) I am still in the fetish phase of enjoyment over crossdressing AS I have also came out to everyone in my world as a TG. I've changed after work into Alvina and made sure they saw me, in fact my boss is going to go shopping with me for lots of things and help me
get my walk down and all. I have a lot to learn but I am sitting here as Alvina, as I always do as a post.. and I have gone to a store once as of the other night and am going to go back out soon to get some food and come back and clean my rooom.

I truly feel as though I am a woman and that is my honest truth to you all. I'm also dealing with the guy-thing of loving this clothing A LOT... I am just trying to bare all here and be as honest as I can be with you because I believe in putting my cards out on the table. So please.. understand that I got excited about sharing that with you all and while it does fit more into the fetish realm, what I said.. it's what I enjoy most RIGHT NOW. But truly, underneath it all I am balanced and I feel GREAT just having decided to live as a woman as full-time as I CAN be. I have great friends and they are very accepting.

Thank you all and I am not upset with anyone over any comments made here. this is all a learning experience for me.

[LeaP]

It seems a long time ago now, but I posted a similar OP once soliciting the advantages of being TG. I was more or less gored by the responses. I posted it quite a while before I decided to step off the cliff. And I have say that the half-full glass of "positives" has been thoroughly smashed on the rocks along the way. It isn't so much that there aren't any as they are quickly swept into irrelevance by transition. At least in my case.

I also agree with Kathryn in that (in essence) being trans is literally a transitory state for a TS. Gender variant perhaps not.

[robindee36]

With all the definitional restrictions of claiming Trans status I will say simply...I love being a girl and love being in the company of others who also do. Pretty simple but then I am a pretty simple girl ;)

Hugs, Robin

[arbon]

There are interesting experiences being ts, a lot around how people react. Its not all bad.

Like having someone go from sort of accepting, to down right hating you, and then to having an even greater acceptance and appreciation for you. Seeing how your transition makes them go through their own sort of transition, makes them question what they thought they believed, how they see people that are different. It changes people.

There are a lot of people I admire in the TS world and getting to know many of them has been a real gift to me, and thats only because I am ts to.

Sometimes there are brief moments that really hit you in a meaningful way. Like one day this old weathered grumpy cowboy came up to me and told me how much he admired my courage. In a way I was not sure what to make of him approaching me like that, but he was very sincere and I realized it was probably a major step outside regular normal life and thinking to do that.
Or one day I overheard one of my coworkers defending me - a guy that most would have never thought could accept a transsexual.
and thousands of other little moments.

[Kimberly Kael]

I also agree with Kathryn in that (in essence) being trans is literally a transitory state for a TS. Gender variant perhaps not.

That's a really odd semantic dodge. I utterly agree that once we get on with life, being transsexual is more or less irrelevant to any day-to-day interactions we have with others. That's it's not virtually never an important aspect of how we interact with others doesn't make it any less a part of who we are. After all, if you combine the usual assertions of the been-there-done-that crowd that you aren't a transsexual until you've fully medically transitioned and once you've transitioned then you're no longer transsexual – you reach the inescapable conclusion that nobody is transsexual.

... and yet for some reason the same folks are among the first to wade into any "transsexual responses only" threads. Color me entertained.

[LeaP]

Kimberly, I was not taking a definitional stand with my comment. I was responding from the day-to-day practicalities you described yourself.

My thinking has always been that "being transsexual" both depends on point of view and begs clarification. There are several senses, for example, in which a post-OP who has resolved dysphoria and has become well-integrated into normal life as a woman is transsexual - she is still physically male in many ways, for example. Yet I don't see a conflict between that and the statement by a post-OP that she is no longer transsexual. You have to look for the sense in which it's being used, like anything else, in this case that the identity was tied to a transitory physical and psychological state and period. Were that an unusual point of view, I'd be inclined to challenge it. As it is common, I do not. Moreover, that post-ops DO integrate and move on from seeing themselves as trans is something that gives me hope. Why anyone would want to forever identify as trans escapes me.

[Angela Campbell]

There is nothing vile about being a transsexual, I am sorry you have these feelings you do not understand or know how to deal with yet, But I am a transsexual and I am not vile.

[marshalynn]

What I like about being transsexual, I love the normal and free way my mind lets me live, I don't have to change life style to be happy, like in the past.....

[gonegirl]

Please list one or two things that you find rewarding and valuable about being TS or TG in your life.

I rarely consider the what ifs, even as my life gets ripped apart, because despite experiencing almost a lifetime of chronic anxiety and sadness caused by dysphoria, being a TS woman with a male history has allowed me one gift - my children. Perhaps I would have been lucky enough to become a mother if I had been born with my body as it should have been, but that didn't happen, and instead I became a father. There are two beautiful individuals whom would simply not exist without me being what I am, and that is the most rewarding and valuable reality in my life.

[mary something]

that is wonderful Simone! That is so true, and it is true that it causes you an extra amount of pain in it's own way too. The title of father is what you choose it to be in terms of the relationship with your children. It is a lie that fathers cannot be nurturing, loving, motherly, or even trans and not be a wonderful parent.

[LeaP]

Okay I probably mispoke again and I'm new to all of this. Please be patient with me :) I am still in the fetish phase of enjoyment over crossdressing AS I have also came out to everyone in my world as a TG.

... just having decided to live as a woman as full-time as I CAN be. I have great friends and they are very accepting.



It's true that it's possible to be diagnosed with both transvestic fetishism and gender dysphoria. But it's unusual. Some people's radar goes off. Mine did.

It isn't THE fetish phase of CDing, it's YOUR fetish, phase or not. Most CDs are not fetishists.

My objection to your first response was its exhibitionistic nature. It was written as if it were soft porn. As far as I'm concerned, if your fetishism doesn't adversely affect anyone else, I couldn't care less. In the forum, a reference to your fetish, perhaps to support a point, is just fine (IMHO). But I have no wish to read a blow-by-blow description of the fantasy scenes in your head. That has every appearance of trying to drag us in. Not interested.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

alvina you have already admitted on other threads that you are crazy, that you like stunning people...that you fantasize and fetishize about "changing"...that you don't care what anybody thinks...
your posts here don't really stun me...they are typical ts fetish porn...or you are just trying to get a rise out of people have your right to it...but call it what it is ...

if you are truly trying to live your best life and to live it as a woman you are not off to a good start
.. you do not know what you are saying or what you are getting into ..every person you tell of your decision to live as a woman will be something you risk regretting in the future..

I'm saying this as somebody that doesn't want you to make a huge mistake any more than you already have..

find a good therapist or support group for yourself...

[Zylia]

Mary, Sorry for not returning the favor of dissecting a reply, I'll try to respond to what I think is the overall gist of yours.

Perhaps my comment was a bit preemptive, but I was a bit concerned about the direction it could have gone.

When I say supportive, I don't mean comments that to me feel like "Look at what the funny cross-dresser posted" or "Your personal experience is wrong and here's why", but comments like Lea's and Kaitlyn's. I guess if you had put as much effort in your reply to Alvina as you did in your reply to me, she would have been helped even more and we probably wouldn't have had this conversation.

This is how I feel about it and how experienced it, I don't think it's a matter of right and wrong and I'm not particularly interested in turning this into a pissing contest even more. I'm also not really interested in moaning about my intimates, but I guess you already knew that ;)

All the best,

[Tamara Croft]

Can we stop focusing on ONE post in this thread because you're derailing it and get back to the topic in hand? if not, I'll lock it.

Anymore posts arguing or discussing that ONE post and the thread is done!

[mary something]

One thing I enjoy about being trans is having a forum to discuss life with others

Otherwise I wouldn't have read this



Being my self, in all my glory. It's like living life all over again.

Yup that sums it up.

Love it Memzy!

[Allison_Leslie]

I just want to apologize to EVERYONE here for starting such a ruckus. :( I just literally walked 3.21 miles from my home to work to get my scooter and crank it. I walked in full dress so that I could "walk a mile" and i went down a very populated path and through a school zone. Point is.. I practiced walking, practice holding myself and posture.. I was wearing a black skirt, fleece tights and 1 inch heels with a turquiose top with sequins. I did this to force myself out into the real world and see what kind of comments I get from passers by.

I was surprised that of all the people I passed by, only a scant handful even looked back as they passed me, but most were smiling and very kind and I made the whole 3.21 mile journey safely and with only minimal wear on the feet. I feel that I can weather the storm and felt very wonderful out in the open in a skirt.. walking the whole way and chilling with my music.

I am sorry that I went overboard with the "soft porn" as one had called it. I enjoy being FREE and I enjoy being able to express myself now more than ever before. I look forward to every outting. I am new in this and yeah, I'm going to be immature at first in how i am viewing this journey but I am learning and I am reading all of your posts and trying to understand. I do not wish to make people upset with one another, not in the least. PLEASE keep posting on topic now and let it be know, I am sorry for this disruption of this thread.

All the love in the world, Alvina.

[arbon]

Worse then other medical conditions? Why do you think that?

[GirlieAmanda]

I enjoy being a happier person. I enjoy the vastly increased attention and friends I have made. I enjoy the feel of being feminine. I love being able to rewire a house and be able to dress up to the nines in a pretty dress. But mostly, I just love not having to be forced to live in the gender I was not comfortable in. I don't have to fight it any longer.

[Carlene]

After reading and considering so many interesting answers, I believe that I need another turn........(:-). Perhaps, what I enjoy or treasure about being transgender is the act of accepting it, thus allowing myself to take the necessary actions to become more content and perhaps a better person.

Carlene

[KellyJameson]

Feeling different and like an outsider and later like I was damaged left me sensitive to those who were also treated as different and outsiders so I avoided being seduced by the darkside of group think such as racism, sexism,xenophobia,religious fanaticism or anything else that was a "us against them attitude".

The meat grinder of a female identity and all that this implies ground me up into an extreme individualist because there was no group like me to resonate with so I lived as the consummate outsider but not wanting to be.

It is a type of solitary confinement no matter how many people you surround yourself with. Very difficult to find like minded people.

I do like the psychological freedom this gives me but only now after the fact but the risk to ones survival to get here is very high because it is not a choice but one forced on you.

[mary something]

It has made me a very good observer of people. I've spent my entire life watching and observing to understand first how to keep myself safe as a male and then to understand how to perceive the world in the natural manner of my gender without a natural childhood.

[Rogina B]

It has made me a very good observer of people. I've spent my entire life watching and observing to understand first how to keep myself safe as a male and then to understand how to perceive the world in the natural manner of my gender without a natural childhood.
I think that is a real thing that gets often missed. People are coming into "this" from a male life,having had so many formative things in their birth gender.So,a lot of what makes a woman's thought train got passed over. The people here are coming at this whole deal from having a sense of power,already[male power]and that is far different than a GG that starts developing at birth,and continuing on through her life. MtoF's are "forcing their way into line",having skipped most of what GG's have gone through to get to that point. So many of the "power posts" where people here tell us of their powerful life[often work life] are pretty male based. I doubt that a GG forum would contain posts with that wording. You can live out the rest of your life as a woman,but you skipped a lot of stuff when you cut the line.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Mary I agree that I learned to observe people...almost like its a skill set..i have often felt like a mind reader...its hard to get something by me .. i feel like i notice everything and it surprises me that people miss things that seem obvious to me..

However I find it very cold comfort.. I don't see how missing growing up as yourself for good observation skills is a trade I'd make if i had the choice.....


For non transsexuals I can see how its a positive to live as a male first because there is no doubt a real male privilege that they can take advantage of in their normal male life but also when they dress as women.

[mary something]

However I find it very cold comfort.. I don't see how missing growing up as yourself for good observation skills is a trade I'd make if i had the choice.....


first you must realize it wasn't a choice ;) (you knew that was coming didn't you?) :hugs:

Kaitlyn it's the difference between catching a fish and knowing how to fish. Except in this case it is a skill set that will help in every aspect of one's life once we apply that skill to ourselves. The only difference in this situation is that shedding all of the emotional baggage from a male life is HARD. It is like emotional boot camp for the soul because you have to completely restructure the ego and determine what you find valuable about yourself and what is not in the new role. Having a big IQ is an attractive quality for a man and displaying it is a way to capture attention and affection, not so much for a woman. Lot's of things like this that makes it feel like life has been turned completely upside down. Being a good observer of others is critical to understanding what the norms and mores are for the female social and emotional role. It's inside of anyone who has a need to completely feminize their bodies, they just gotta get out of their own way to do so.

Does that vibe with your experiences also?

Does it help the feeling of loss (I think that is universal to all people usually) to perceive yourself as having grown up as a girl trying her darnedest to be the best boy she could possibly be, and then failing at it eventually (because in this unique case the only way to fail at being a boy was to be a girl) and allowing that to harm her sense of self-worth? What would you tell her to comfort her? In a manner of speaking wouldn't those perceived failures then become actually a crowning achievement? Her final proof that she was what she had suspected all along? That seems like a very difficult puzzle to solve to me and yet she did.

Maybe you weren't a different person, you were simply only allowed to give a small part of yourself to each group because your role was to be the "glue" and not the girl. Just a guess here but that is a very feminine personality quality that is safely expressed in masculine circles. The person who is the unifier. Sure you were forced to do so in stereotypically masculine ways. That isn't uncommon though for people to try out different roles during their development as they try to find the social role that best fits their temperament, continually discarding incorrect ones until they find the correct socially acceptable role they can fill comfortably. In my opinion that is one of the things that makes parenting a teenager as difficult as it is, they keep changing.

What makes it hard for transwomen is that the comfortable role is the LAST one they will ever try . The challenge at that point (at least for me) is/was (I don't think it ever ends because the roles that people are expected to play continually change as we age) to put aside all of the perceived failures that dampened my ability to fully commit myself emotionally and socially in terms of my behavior. I realized later that the reason why it was so important for me to LOOK female first was because I had experienced so much failure in finding a suitable male social role that I had lost a lot of confidence.

That is why seeing is believing in my opinion.

and perceiving of myself as a woman is something that I enjoy daily in my life as a trans person even though my past makes it difficult

[Rianna Humble]

Please try to stay on the topic of this thred - i.e. what you enjoy about being transsexual or transgender.

Posts lecturing other members on how they ought to have answered or how they should interpret the question are not on topic and will be deleted.

Argumentative posts are not on topic and will be deleted.

Any other attempts to derail the thread are not on topic and will be deleted.

[TeresaL]

What I like is RLE, interacting, and socializing. Although retired, I'm trying to find ways to keep involved in a mixed environment. I just finished a 12 week class in a conference room environment with a dozen non trans folks at the table. No one questioned me on being TG, and I didn't tell. LOL. A form of DADT. My gender was a non-issue.

It's only lately that I have found peace with being my true self, and now can live my inner gender. Yeah, I like that too.

Added. Our life is a hard, cruel life though, and our paths are littered with losses.

[Nicole Erin]

Once you get through the struggles, there are many enjoyable things -

The clothing selection is awesome so shopping is FUN, feeling good about the way I look,
getting compliments on my blouse, nails, hair, makeup, legs, shoes, whatever.
Having more understanding of what GGs go through, being able to express myself without fear, not worrying about ridicule, being able to give a lover (man or woman) the best of both worlds, being able to look in the mirror and say "Damn, now THAT is a pretty lady!" Getting a fresh hairstyle, fresh nails done,
How many genetic males get to experience all that?

And as vain as it sounds - sometimes being my own "dream girl" in the bedroom. It is sad that I will probably never date a woman with legs as hot as mine.

I love it.

[Rachel Smith]

The peace I have now.

[PaulaQ]

I forgot to mention - I love some of the wonderful and amazing and inspiring trans people who I know now. Were I not trans, I'd have never met any of them. And I'd be worse off for that.

[hannahbear]

What I find rewarding is that I can just finally be ME!
I can be transparent, and open and honest and not have to hide or worry anymore.

[chrissyjessicadewet]

It has made every other challenge in life seem ridiculously easy.

This is so true.

What I love about being Transgender. Educating others on what being trans means. I get pleasure in other of the GM and GG understanding. Mostly I think we are transgender up till the moment we are SRS'ed. Then we are just girls. Cause the only transitioning you are doing afterward between genders is how much others remind you of where you coming from.
I love expressing my emotions, i love crying in public and having friends and colueges knowing that I am a girl. Even though i dont look like it right now.

[dreamer_2.0]

Being so early in my gender journey I have yet to experience much of the positives others above have posted about. However, I do appreciate the opportunity I've had over the last year to learn so much about gender, transsexuals, and myself. It's been a big eye opener and there's still so much to learn. Finding myself, peace and happiness are a ways off but I like finally beginning to understand why I am the way I am.

It's a slow journey, especially when you're stubborn, but I hope to one day experience the good that many of you have.

I like threads like this as I see and feel so much negative, particularly about being trans, it's great reading that there is some good that comes from all this, even if that good comes from walking through a version of hell. I appear to need constant reminding of this fact.