Sexuality and Crossdressing?

[Katie83]

Hi Everyone.
I have been wondering what people's thoughts are on whether it would be seen as more acceptable for a gay guy to crossdress than for a straight guy to?
Katie x

[Kate Simmons]

I've known gay guys who's partners don't want them to CD as they want a man. Most gay guys who CD are actually drag performers and that is pretty much the extent of it in my experience. Of course there are exceptions.:)

[Zylia]

Society as a whole obviously has some misconceptions about sexuality and cross-dressing, but I do not believe that's your point. I'm going for the glass half-empty variety: people have a harder time accepting cross-dressing behaviour from a heterosexual man. Perhaps it's because of the aforementioned misconceptions, perhaps they confuse the garden-variety cross-dressers with drag queens, perhaps they think gay people are 'sexual deviants' anyway, perhaps they confuse autogynephilia with straight-up androphilia like some cross-dressers do as well, perhaps they think porn is reality, etc. etc.

[Jordan-NH]

It took my GF quite some time to become completely accepting of the fact that I'm straight. In her head she fully associated cross dressing with homosexuality. She has obviously grown as a person and doesn't jump to such stereotypes anymore, but I think it's an example of how our society tends to think. So I don't know if people are more accepting of it from homosexuals or just more just expect it. Which I believe is wrong, because I think the amount of homosexuals that cross dress is exceptionally low.

[Candice Mae]

I think what it comes down to is that today's society understands "gay", but is still in the dark about heterosexual CDing. People are usually scared and judgmental towards what we don't fully understand.

Edit - I think Zylia said it better above...

[devida]

It's probably more acceptable, but as Zylia says, that's really because of societal confusion. Dan Savage (Savage Love Podcast) surprised me when he said that in his experience pretty much all mtf cross dressers were heterosexual. He said gay men do drag but that was quite different. Also, surveys indicate that the huge surge in transgender porn is to satisfy a heterosexual male market. This all stands to reason. The majority of cross dressers probably are not transitioning. They are attracted to women, really so much that they want to dress like women. Gay men are attracted to men. They really are not attracted to women even if the woman has a penis. The very funny comic Orientation Police by Bill Roundy points out that that he's still very gay even when he dates transmen. The majority of my close friends have always been gay men and every single one has dressed as a woman at one time or other but I don't think any of them did it for any type of sexual reason. How many cross dressing men can say the same? I would guess...none.

[CarlaWestin]

Having painfully pondered this very question for well over a hundred years I have to conclude that:

There is absolutely NO connection between crossdressing and sexual orientation!

Damn it!



Now, women wearing pants? Of course they're gay!

[kimdl93]

Acceptable to whom?

[Beverley Sims]

No, a gay guy doing it would seem out of the norm.

[CarlaWestin]

It took my GF quite some time to become completely accepting of the fact that I'm straight.

This statement is amazing! And I just can't think of what to write now. "Oh Honey, please accept my straightness!" I'm going to pull that one on my wife because she still makes the occasional left field comments about all CD's are just latent homosexuals. She gets mad when I make the same comment about a certain all male hierarchy group she pays attention to.

[audreyinalbany]

I've never really understood the association in people's minds between cross dressing and homosexuality. You'll hear people wondering (sometimes out loud) when they see a gay couple "Which one's the 'woman'?" Seems as though the very notion of one of the couple behaving as the stereotypical opposite gender is anathema to being gay. If a gay male is attracted to a male presenting as a woman, isn't that kinda like being attracted to women? and isn't that what gays, by definition, are not?

[NicoleScott]

Sexual preference and gender expression - apples and oranges, though some people consider all of us as fruits.

[suchacutie]

I would say that many would not be surprised by a gay crossdresser, but are certainly not at all understanding about a crossdresser who is not gay. When we get over this sterotype a lot will be better!

[Jenniferathome]

No more acceptable but certainly more "expected." Of course, how would one know that the dresser is straight or gay?

[Laura28]

I think CD'ing is more a hetro thing then gay, It woyuld be interesting to know how many gay men crossdress versus hetro men. I think when dressed we may fantisize about being with a man but i think it is only to complete the illusion and doubtfull many follow through with the fantisize? But that is just my opinion.

[reb.femme]

Hi Katie,

My personal slant is, I don't think it is seen as more acceptable for gay guys, it's just that it fits the 'norm' in the eyes of the average muggle. It appears from my own experience that the general populace equates Trans of any sort with Gay.

As Nicole said, ".......some people consider all of us as fruits."

Rebecca

[paulaprimo]

i would agree that it would "seem" to be more acceptable for a gay to crossdress. my opinion is that society "thinks" that all crossdressers are gay or bi anyways,
and with that said,
there are cd admirers, but from my experience i feel the "majority" of gay man are not interested in cd'ers.

[kendra_gurl]

Katie I'm certain your question will receive very different opinions from the members of this Forum than if you were asking it on Yahoo answers or some other more traditional forum.

Here a lot of us if not most of us are married hetro cd's. Most people on the other hand have little or no experience with cd's or drag queens or even gay men unless they know someone is one.

Gay today is not as "in your face I'm gay and proud of it" as it used to be. But crossdressing still is and always will be simply because most of us are so easy to spot in a crowd.

I doubt there will ever be a way of making it more acceptable for the average person until internet searches of the term crossdresser stop bringing up thousands of photos and videos of crossdressed men having sex with other crossdressed men.

Over the years I have learned there are fewer and fewer Straight people in the world as the internet seems to be making more and more people sampling the term bi sexuality.

[melanie206]

Don't know if we answered your question Katie, it seems to have created more. Like this one. It seems to be conventional wisdom that many, if not most CDers are straight. Yet, it is also true that many Cders are bi and prefer other CDers or men. The truth of all of this is illusive. The question posed to crossdressers, "are you gay?" is probably the wrong question. The right question is, "do you like men, ever?"

[LadyInRed]

Hi Everyone.
I have been wondering what people's thoughts are on whether it would be seen as more acceptable for a gay guy to crossdress than for a straight guy to?
Katie x

From my experience the most common train of thought on that tends to be:
Gay - oh he's a drag queen, ok... Sometimes they have other comments, but that's usually it
Straight - why would he want to do that, is it some sexual thing???

[Barbara Dugan]

I am gay and It Would seem to be more acceptable for a gay guy to crossdress but I am not really sure about that, It will depend a lot on the situation...straight acting behavior is more common now within the gay community.

[Trishpdxcd2]

Sexual preference and gender expression - apples and oranges, though some people consider all of us as fruits.

That is funny Nicole. Funny, but I don't see the majority of crossdressers as straight. I know many are. I would think gay crossdressers are an anomaly though I have no statistical proof of this. I think there are many bisexual cd's. Oh...and many "straight" men who are attracted to us.

[Karren H]

It's acceptable as long as my son doesn't want to date one! lol

[Mssusan]

In addition to what everyone has posted, I think some of the confusion is because many gay people adopt mannerisms of the opposite gender. Gay men act effeminate and have more of a tendency than straight men to attend to their looks and home decor. So, for the uninformed, dressing like a girl seems logical.

[Aaron Zwidling]

In my experience there does seem to be a lot of confusion with the general public confusing being gay with crossdressing. I've always felt the subconscious logic behind that belief must be they feel crossdressers are dressing as a woman to attract a man, when for most of us that is just not the case. Whenever I have dealt with SA's enough times for the question of sexual orientation to come up I have almost always found they did believe I was gay, even though I don't exhibit any of the stereotypical mannerisms that would lead to that conclusion.

In terms of more acceptable or not, I would have to say public perception is it is more acceptable for someone who is gay to crossdress than someone who is straight. My feeling is males and females would tend to both think that way but would likely have completely different reasons for it. For many straight men I think they would feel somewhat threatened by the thought that other straight men may be crossdressers.

For women I think it would be more about the discomfort of the crossdressing male ignoring social conventions and concerns about a being in a relationship with a guy who is encroaching on her feminine territory. For many women I think the world makes more sense to them if they don't have to deal with so many crossdressers being straight, and can just classify crossdressers as guys I would never date as they are gay.

That said there are many members of both sexes who seem perfectly fine with the concept. People are complex so I'm sure I've missed a number of other possibilities. The above is just my own gut feelings after many years on thinking about the question.

[AimeeG]

Acceptable to whom?

I'm Pansexual so these terms don't mean much to me...but...

In my experience, if a partner is attracted to a specific "sex", then they may not be too happy to continue a relationship with someone when that person no longer represents the sex they "fell in love with".

English-gay men are attracted to men and can be as close-minded as women can be about there husbands. There are exceptions for every rule! Feel free to interchange men and women.

[donnalee]

This one of those things that has been discussed many times in the 5 years I have been on this site. Near as I can figure out, the percentage of gays here is about the same as the rest of the population, about 10%.

[tiffanynjcd24]

I think ppl has sexuality and crossdressing mixed up ijs. Also, people like most girls would not accept crossdressers because they think most cders are gay until you explain to them about sexually and cding

Btw i am bisexual but i like women and transgenders(mtf tg, cd, etc).

[Terri6082]

I am hetero and married but when i dress I do find myself wanting to flirt with men and I find attention from men exciting. Not sure what that makes me but it is how I feel. Maybe its just validation that I can look remotely feminine if men are interested.

[kendra_gurl]

Maybe its just validation that I can look remotely feminine if men are interested.

This I can agree to with absolutely no sexual attraction or desire to be sexual with men

[Majella St Gerard]

I think most people think that if you cross dress, then you must be gay anyway.

[JessicaKasey]

I am in no way attracted to men. However, I find transsexuals rather intriguing!

[cdintraining25]

For me It's just experiencing a new perspective and satisfying different feelings. I'm bisexual but I'm really only attracted to girls and maybe that plays into my cding I don't know.

[Lisa.Stevenson]

I would guess that the majority would assume that crossdressing automatically makes the crossdresser gay, this is obviously not true, I'm a bi crossdresser but could only see myself in a relationship situation with a female. I guess thats evidence that everybody is different in their own special way :)

Soo in response to the main question: maybe not more "acceptable" per say. but likely easier for the general population to digest at face value.