Alone

[Carlene]

I don't mean this as a complaint, but rather, just speaking out loud. I am working with my transgenderism alone. That is to say, we don't discuss this at home very often (almost not at all), I do not see a therapist, nor have I reached out among the community for support. There are reasons for all of this, of course, but maybe none strong enough to continue going it alone...........

Hmmmm, I guess there is a bit of self-pity happening here.........sorry.

I suppose it can't be said often enough; many of us would be desperate without the support found in this site..........thank you all.

arlene....:daydreaming:

[Chaz]

I've found much support and advice from this site for different reasons. Glad to be apart of it.

[Justine Dawn]

Hi Carlene,
I completely understand what you are saying and feeling.
I also had been going it alone for most of my life. This place is wonderful and will be a safe, comfortable place for you.
If you can find a counselor/therapist that you can share with, I would recommend it.
I have found it helpful.
:hugs: Justine

[Rachelakld]

:(
Respect for doing it tough, but would be nice if you could talk to others.
You'll probably find a city of people out their, just waiting for someone to help

[DebbieL]

I remember those feelings of being alone. I didn't even know there were people like me until I was 18, and even then I saw a drag queen and incorrectly assumed that she was like me. There were no books, doctors and therapists refused to even permit discussion of the issue. At the time treatment was barbaric, electric shock, shocking genitals, aversion therapy, and Lobotomy. There were a few times when I came home crying, saying how I hated being a boy and how much I wanted to be a girl. My mom's response was "do you want to be a vegetable?". She'd been through that kind of torment - 30 days of daily shock, 6 times over 4 years, with no anesthesia, no paralytic, and terror at the memory of the treatments - which she DID remember, even though they had erased 3 years of memory.

In a usenet newsgroup, I met Victoria Prince, founder of Tri-ESS, who gave me hope that there were some who were a little more like me. I found some support groups, but one was more like a boy's club and they referred to the dressing as "an expensive hobby". I found a transsexual support group but it was almost too depressing to confront.

This site, as others like it were amazing. I was able to get the support I needed to begin transition and start working through the many blockers and barriers, but actually addressing them and overcoming them. Living 24/7 now, with the exception of a few hours when I sing bass in the Church choir. Even there I'm so androgynous that many women in the congregation have figured it out and can't wait to see me in a dress. Some women from church have already met or seen Debbie and we have become good friends. My wife had requested that I not bring Debbie to church in full dress, especially since I sit in the back row center of the choir loft facing the entire congregation. They can see my long hair, my make-up, and my 38B breasts under the robe, but I still go with slacks, sweaters, and studs to make it a bit less obvious, for my wife's sake. Even that facade is crumbling though, and I'll probably start going as Debbie in January.

So grateful for others who have been through this experience. At least I don't feel like I'm the only one of my kind today.

[mikiSJ]

I started visiting this site two years ago and it gave me a place to come out to, even if only in a post. It also gave the courage to come out socially.

There is nothing like talking to a real person about anything - including being transgender.

[Rachael Leigh]

Carlene, it is difficult not having support in person. I feel that way very much my wife just doesn't want to talk with me about this unless it's why don't I just let go.
So many times I thought ok that's what I will do and it just never went away no matter how hard I tried to let it go.
I'm glad I found this group because I can come here and talk about my clothes my shopping and whatever else and very little condemnation.
It is my support group

[mary something]

Glad you're here too, It's nice to talk to people who understand what it's like

[Sephina]

My situation is very similar I dont have anyone personally to connect with local so it is hard to go about somedays but I find it very comforting that this forum exists otherwise I wouldn't have anything at all, I'm thankful for this

[Angela Campbell]

No girl is an island

[Rachel Smith]

I had no trans friends before during or after my transition. This forum was my sanctuary. My dear friend Michelle is a great support person even though she is not trans as well as two out of 3 of my therapists. The ladies here were/are great for people like you and me.

Thank you all
Rachel