The Semi-Purge

[NicoleScott]

Over the years there have been several threads started by a CDer who is contemplating a purge, for whatever reason. Typical advice given by many including myself is to pack up and store the wardrobe instead of tossing everything. For the record, I purged 3 times, the last was 20 years ago. I wish I had some of that stuff back, but they were real purges - everything gone.
We always come back eventually, don't we? And start rebuilding the wardrobe.
I'm getting to a point, bear with me. I remember when I quit smoking, also 20 years ago. It would not have worked if I just put the pack of cigarettes in a drawer and "quit smoking". No, it was necessary to NOT have them around, so that I wouldn't give in at a weak moment.
So I'm wondering, with your femme items in storage, it would seem easy to give in to the urge to crossdress, unless you stored your things in a place more remote, harder to get to.
My question: has anyone actually purged by placing your things in storage rather than discarding them? Was it always in your mind that they could be easily retrieved? Did you? What's your "I purged by placing my things in storage" story?

[Annaliese]

That is a good question, never thought of it that way, have not purge for 18 years my self, not plans to do so now or ever.

[Laura Collette]

I only purged completely once, 35 years ago. Since then I've put away my clothes and makeup twice and each time spent years without dressing. Although some of the makeup spoiled and the clothes don't fit anymore, I'm glad to have kept what I did. My need to dress isn't related to having or not having. I think it's been a response to stress even when I don't know what I'm stressed about. What I want now is to find a way to keep Laura in my life but not to have her eclipse my male self.

[laciewhite]

i have reduced sometimes but never completely purged. i like to indulge myself whenever i can but at the same time i know when i need to be firm with myself and i have gone for some very long periods (years) without dressing in the full knowledge that there was an emergency stash tucked away somewhere. i would hate to have no emergency back-up.

case in point, i will have to be strict with myself from now until the new year because the kids will be off school from this weekend so i know i won't have any private time for a while and i will need to focus on just trying to be a good dad and normal 'bloke' for a bit. i knew that yesterday morning was the last chance i would have to dress so i had a lovely farewell session as lacie (and when i say 'lovely', i guess i mean 'downright filthy') now i need to put her back in her box, mentally and physically, for a while. its not easy but i know i can do it.

ps. you might have noticed my avatar has disappeared...i guess that's part of the purge for me as well now...when it returns you will know that lacie is having fun with herself again..

[Stephanie Miller]

Unfortunately I can't help here. Mine always seem to be "Reverse Purge's". (Commonly known as Sales, Clearance, 1/2 Off specials etc.) :cute:

[Katey888]

Good question Nicole,
Over the years (past 35...) I've purged and semi-purged many times. Things have been discarded, destroyed (symbolic but failed!) and more recently, donated to charity (most came from that source initially). Fortunately I don't think back to things I should have kept - and who would want to be unfashionable anyway :heehee: - but the only ones I really regret losing were when I'd found some comfortable heels or boots. Bliss! More rarely I have tried to store things: pared down to a minimum set and packed away in the garage. It doesn't work for me. The draw is too much when I know what's there and after a few weeks and a suitable opportunity (or a trigger - might be a movie, a memory, a pretty girl, a row with the wife...) everything comes back again.
Even when everything - and I mean everything - has been disposed of, the return always starts the same way: an irrepressible urge to buy a pristine pair of nylons - sheer, probably barely black.. and off goes the express train again. :bonk:
I think why I'm on the forum now is to find a reason to go one way or the other - purge again or just get comfy for a while. Ah well...
Thanks for asking...
Kateyx

[laciewhite]

katey it sounds like there is a part of you that wants to be rid of the CDing. maybe i felt the same when i was younger and didn't understand what i was doing (although i still don't understand but maybe now i'm just more accepting of it). these days i just enjoy my lacie time too much to ever consider stopping for good. my mini-purges are only ever for practical reasons. when something feels this good why would i ever want to stop completely..?

[NicoleScott]

Katey and Lacie, me too, and I think it was guilt. I grew up alone with my CDing, before the internet, and was punished once when I was caught with lipstick. That drove me deep into the closet and with the thought that other people think this is wrong, so there must be something wrong with me and I need to stop doing this. With time, internet, and 3 purges, I got over it.

[Katey888]

Lacie, Nicole - you're both right, and I can empathise with both those points. I wouldn't be progressing now if a part of me didn't like it (so, for the first time ever I've recently bought earrings... for goodness sake!) and I still feel guilty, about this and other stuff. But because my CD time is still in the wardrobe (I'm adopting that as less gay than closet - political correctness can go hang) it remains a fantastic refuge for me, and I need that right now. I admit to being scared about where it is going to go, but that's for me to wrestle with.
Sorry Nicole - kinda diverging from your purging OP, but to come back to it: purging has worked for me for periods of time and principally it worked because those periods were fulfilled from a relationship and sexual perspective. I have to be honest and say that it's been a refuge when - well - for various reasons I was feeling unfulfilled. It's always in my mind, and generally I think I've been a more tolerant individual because of that.
Very introspective - I have to go fulfil a large glass of Shiraz that beckons... thanks gurls :hugs:
Kateyx

[Pandys]

I have never really done a "purge", but I think if I did It would be because of a decision not to ever dress again. Whether or not that would actually be the case is doubtful.
The only circumstance I could foresee for a partial purge would be if I thought I wanted to quit and said "I will store my things for one year and then if I still don't want to dress then I would toss them".
Right now I am deciding if I want to pursue a more "normal" wardrobe and get rid of my more fetish style clothes or continue as is. I am still working on my true reasons for dressing. sorry if I drifted a bit from the OP.

[~Joanne~]

has anyone actually purged by placing your things in storage rather than discarding them?

I have purged over the years about 5 times. I completely got rid of EVERYTHING. There is a lot I would love to have now to be honest. The 5th purge I tried keeping very select items in a bag (because of the items I had previously wished I hadn't throw out) in a hidden spot that was a tad hard to reach without some effort.

Was it always in your mind that they could be easily retrieved?

Not easily, but doable and yes, always on my mind.

Did you?

Alot. Then I decided to move them back into the house. I figured this wasn't working because no matter how hard I tried to stop, I don't think it's possible. Haven't purged since and never will again.

[sheilagirl]

I've purged 2 times in 40 years. The first time, about 20 years ago, because I thought it would make me stop feeling the way I did and the last, was when I went into the hospital for cancer surgery, 5 years ago not knowing for sure, if I would make it home, ever again and I didn't want my family to find my lace panties and Calvin Klein dresses. I tossed everything. A total shame but I know now that if I am ever in that situation again I will donate all the items and now sometimes, when I'm out shopping and buying a pretty top or sexy skirt I say to myself, "Whoever gets this one is gonna love it!"

[Raychel]

Over the years I have purged many times, sometimes putting away in storage in another location
sometimes tossing it all in the trash. Always that haunting in my mind, not matter what.
Now that I have grown to accept that this is just part of me, not something that can be thrown way,
or boxed up for some other day, Life is a lot better.


this is who I am, I dress how I like, and life is definitely better.

[Katy120]

I've purged completely a couple of times over the years. Big mistake! Expensive error! Beginning anew is sort of fun in that your imagination kicks into high gear, but when the credit card statement arrives it is really a bitter pill to swallow. I've now taken the "No purging allowed" pledge.

[Susan L]

I have completely purged twice, once when I thought this was completely wrong because that is what society tell's us and the last time when I was going through a divorce. The first time of course did not work and the second time I thought I would start a new life and live without CD's. Well as you can guess that didn't work very well. But, I was lucky enough to meet and marry a wonderful women who accepts and understands my feminine side. I'm rebuilding my wardrobe and will not be purging any time soon, I enjoy dressing up to much.

[Beverley Sims]

My wife purged for me once....
She never did it again. :)

[Adriana Moretti]

I have purged 3 times in my 10 or so years dressing...the last purge I threw everything in a dumpster next to the local starbucks...and everytime I see that dumpster I shake my head thinking I made a big mistake that day...Once you do it a few times I think you figure it out, you realize the feeling is not going to go away with a simple chore of throwing out the trash, and it is with you....then just accept it, and enjoy it no matter if you are in the closet or out on the town.

[Kate's at home]

Twice over the years I've done a complete purge and both times deeply regretted later. One very long black lace dress and matching shawl got away that I still miss 30 years later...

More recently, I have been considering doing some pruning of things I've found I either don't like on me, or I never seem to wear. I'd like to free up some space and have a more tidy and orderly space in my closets.

How many here periodically do some careful pruning?

Kate

[linda allen]

I think that most folks who have "purged" and given up crossdressing won't be on crossdressing forums to post their experiences.

Up until a couple years ago I didn't have much to purge. I get rid of stuff I no longer need or want, but I haven't "purged".

[DAVIDA]

Jean will "make" me purge sometimes to get rid of the older things I don't wear anymore.:thumbsup:

[NicoleScott]

Thanks for all the responses.
Linda, I agree with you. If you're really going to give up CDing it would seem best to stay away from CDing websites. I also agree that we probably won't hear from those who successfully "kicked the habit" (uh-oh, an opening for Karren).

There's a difference between culling and purging. Culling is getting rid of things for reasons such as: they don't fit, out of style, worn out, or to make room for new things, limited storage space. Purging is quitting, cold turkey.

Based on my experience and the responses of others, it seems that the best cure for purging is regret from past purges.
Q. How many purges does it take to stop purging?
A. As many as it takes.

[Lynn Marie]

Very good thought Nicole. I too quit smoking many years ago. Took a brand new carton of cigarettes and ceremoniously tossed them in the garbage. Convinced myself that I would die if I smoked again. It worked. I also purged two or three times by throwing out my miserable little collection of female clothing. None of which I regret loosing. My present wardrobe is vastly better. I made no mental commitment when I purged! Just did it out of shame and fear of being gay or a pervert. Obviously I no longer care!

[danielletorresani]

I definitely prefer to semi-purge. If I do a true purge, I know that I will get almost feverish and feel a frantic need to replace that lost wardrobe. If I know it's still an option out there somewhere, then I won't feel the compulsion to start a shopping binge and waste a ton of money.

However, if one ever wants to really quit crossdressing, a semi-purge is just about a guarantee that you'll pick it back up again.

[Gillian Gigs]

I personally know a guy who quit smoking leaving half a carton of smokes in the frig for almost 2 years. His wife finally got fed up and threw them out, boy was he mad, he wanted to do it when he was ready to do it.

My problem with purging was the fact that I couldn't get rid of the all of the clothes. Yes, I got rid of mine, but hers were left there to taunt me until I started to "borrow" again. This would then lead to buying just one pair of panties, because they would fit better. Then more panties, then this lingerie item, then that skirt, until the wardrobe was back. The storage idea may work for some, but not me, I could just see me going and "borrowing" just one item, then two... The last purge was about 12 years ago, then coming to regret doing it, I swore to myself that I would never do it again. It was easier to accept that I am what I am and move on. It helps having an accepting wife also.

[AmyGaleRT]

Nicole, I did that (boxed up my clothes and stored them, rather than purge them) when I was due to bring my fiancee home. Of course, I couldn't stay away from the clothes, and eventually fetched a few things and dressed in secret occasionally. Then came the day when I told her and was met with acceptance...which led to the happy day when I brought every one of those clothing items back home! If I'd purged, all of those would have been lost forever...

- Amy