Man in a dress - humiliation!

[Katie Russell]

I've been listening to the radio and a female presenter thinks it's hilarious that a male presenter is being made to wear a dress. The implication is that he will find it humiliating.

If society still considers it humiliating for a man to wear a dress are we ever going to be accepted?

Katie

[Kate Simmons]

I fail to understand how wearing a dress is humiliating. If that's the case, it's no wonder most women opt to wear pants. :battingeyelashes::)

[Jennifer Kelly]

It takes a real man to wear a dress. :)

[Katey888]

I guess really it depends on the dress, doesn't it? :heehee:

[linda allen]

Being forced to wear a dress would be humiliating if you're not a crossdresser. Wearing a dress without presenting as female would be humiliating as well unless you just want to call attention to yourself.

[autogirl]

eventually . Society is just lame think of people like robots being told what to do. go get some of the most macho celebs to wear a dress something not to girly or it wont work and get all the female celebs and other females to go crazy over them nd broadcast that to the world and watch how fast the new trend catches on.

it once was too gay for a man to wear pink but now its fashion.
once men didnt care much about hairstyles etc but now its different

[NicoleScott]

it once was too gay for a man to wear pink but now its fashion.
once men didnt care much about hairstyles etc but now its different

Yes. Acceptance changes over time. Imagine the best player in the NBA in the 1950's showing up for a game with a gigantic diamond earring.

[Lynn Marie]

I have a pink shirt. When I wear it, I invariably get compliments from girls. When I wear a dress, I get similar compliments from girls!

[Sarasometimes]

The Holy Grail, if you will for CD's... is when doing things feminine is viewed in high regard by both men and women. A girl going out for boy's baseball in school is highly supported, a boy trying out for cheer is frowned upon.

Also how boring would that radio program be if she complimented him and was nice? There is a chance he wasn't even in a dress.

[I Am Paula]

A high school near me annually has a cross dress day. I see the students walk by. The girls just wear their regular jeans, and a hockey jersey. The guys all opt for an ill- fitting dress. They walk by my house laughing and carrying on as usual, with their hairy legs, and sock boobs. I don't sense any humiliation, just good clean fun.

[revlonjennifer]

One persons opinion doesn't reflect everyone

[Jorja]

For the Alpha male type wearing a dress might be very well humiliating to him. Quit worrying about what someone else thinks. If you enjoying wearing dresses, then wear dresses. If you are only comfortable wearing bib overalls, a hard hat, and dirt from the oil fields, then wear that. The main thing is just be yourself, everything else will take care of itself.

[stephNE]

I am afraid there is a large part of society that will never accept CDers.

[LauraOTN]

Being forced to wear a dress would be humiliating if you're not a crossdresser. Wearing a dress without presenting as female would be humiliating as well unless you just want to call attention to yourself.

Or just want to wear a dress and don't give a Flying F what other people think.

[Jenniferathome]

I think you are taking this out of context. If a non-cross dresser was made to wear a dress as a result of some bet, it would be humiliating to that man. This person is not presenting as female and has no desire to. It's no different than if a woman was made to wear men's tight-whities in public. It covers like a bikini but it is unnatural to her.

[Karren H]

Growing up the neighborhood girls played a game "catch the boy and put a dress on him" for some strange reason I got caught way way more often than anyone else.... that was 5 decades ago.... and nothings changed.....

[5150 Girl]

I've been listening to the radio and a female presenter thinks it's hilarious that a male presenter is being made to wear a dress. The implication is that he will find it humiliating.

If society still considers it humiliating for a man to wear a dress are we ever going to be accepted?

Katie

I know, right? I've been saying this kind of thing for a long time! I once covered a story, a couple men were arrested for harassing a female, and to PUNISH them, the judge made them walk around the court house for an hour in dresses. I told my reporter, wee nee to ask the judge where he gets off making wearing dresses a punishment when there are millions of TG people fighting for acceptance.

[Dianne S]

Apropos this topic, I liked this story: http://news.msn.com/world/iranian-cross-dress-sentence-inspires-copycat-support

[CaseyMarie]

We definitely have a long way to go. We don't even have total acceptance within the "safe boundaries" of this forum: i.e.: "Wearing a dress without presenting as female would be humiliating as well unless you just want to call attention to yourself."

[Confucius]

When I was in college (years ago) I wanted to know the scientific facts about transvestism (as it was referred). The only place you would find it was in an Abnormal Psychology course. There was one chapter on Sexual Aberrations and we learned that cross-dressers were delusional, rejecting reality, often as a defense mechanism to childhood trauma. It was assumed they all needed therapy because they were using cross-dressing as a substitute for their need for human intimacy.

Today most psychologists consider it a common fetish. And, many wives of cross-dressers still consider it grounds for divorce.

Regarding a male presenter being humiliated by wearing a dress; Well, for approximately 95% of the male population all they are capable of feeling is humiliation and embarrassed from the experience. Many men would rather die than wear a dress in public. Or course it's different for people like us. However that is only because we have super-human powers. Our brain have extra neural connections that provide us with wonderful sensory experiences. Our only problem is how do we manage our super powers in a society which cannot share our sensory experience.

[Fiona Scott]

Where I live men wear skirts all the time. Indeed at some functions its considered obligatory, and men hire them so they do not feel out of place ....... its called a Kilt and no one takes notice and no ridicule, no sniggering, no laughing, just acceptance its the norm. However if I went down the street in a dress I dread to think what may happen !!!! Funny old world isn't it ?

[Leyna]

Isn't this a pretty basic comedy schtick? From Milton Berle to Tyler Perry.

[Beverley Sims]

Katie,
It is progress, at least they make fun of the man in a dress these days.
Once it was not worth a mention, so no air time.
Think of the segment as a positive step in "some" direction. :)

[Wildaboutheels]

Okee dokey, well that settles it then. If one just happens to be one of those silly people who can't read the minds of JD public, it's best to NOT go out in public "dressed". Does that pretty much sum it up? Can't be having strangers out in the RW that don't approve of other people's presentation?

"We have met the enemy and they is us". < POGO

[Michala]

I'm with Karen, 5 decades ago a bunch or boys in my class, myself included, got in trouble for something. We were all made to wear a dress for the afternoon. Wasn't humiliating when all your classmates were also wearing dresses. I might add that none of us went home and complained as that would have then resulted in further punishment from our parents for getting it trouble in the first place.

[Tallulah Rose]

I don't think we will see mass acceptance anytime soon. Having said that, I sure won't live my life for other people and wait for their acceptance - I will live it for me. So this means putting my sexiest dress on, kicking my heels up and dancing the charleston. Humiliation doesn't come into it. :eek: :D

[kimdl93]

I'm not living for universal acceptance. Some people find dressing like a cowboy funny too.

[AllieSF]

Merriam-Webster

Definition of HUMILIATING


: extremely destructive to one's self-respect or dignity : humbling

Wikipedia

Humiliation is the abasement of pride, which creates mortification or leads to a state of being humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission. It is an emotion felt by a person whose social status has just decreased. It can be brought about through intimidation, physical or mental mistreatment or trickery, or by embarrassment if a person is revealed to have committed a socially or legally unacceptable act. Whereas humility can be sought alone as a means to de-emphasise the ego, humiliation must involve other person(s), though not necessarily directly or willingly. Acting to humiliate oneself may be linked to a personal belief (as with mortification of the flesh, with some religions), or it can be part of erotic humiliation where the belittling activity provides emotional and/or sexual arousal or heightened sensation



Here are two definitions. To me one has to let themselves feel that they are being or were humiliated. So, by my reasoning, if some man willingly accepts to be required to wear a dress, he may or may not feel humiliated. He may feel embarrassed, or consider it to be great fun, maybe even for a good cause, like losing a bet for charity. He may also feel humiliated.

[Marcelle]

When I was going through basic training I got in trouble for an inspection one day and had to wear the golden "dumbass" bucket helmet which was just that a bucket with a helmet band to fit your head, painted gold with eyeholes so you could see. I had to mark time everywhere I went and stand at attention when not moving . . . oh and everyone got to call me "Private Dumbass" for the day. Now that was humiliating . . . a dress . . . that's nothing. :)

Hugs

Isha

[JennyLynn]

It's stupid radio. You know, the shock jock garbage. The thing that drives me nuts is when the so-called open-minded hip crowd make fun of anyone for their own stupid ratings. Not sure who they are looking to impress, but it doesn't impress me. Don't sweat it. Bigots, racists, sexists, homophobes (by the way, I hate that word... it isn't that people are "afraid" of homosexuals, it's that they disapprove... their right) are all around us, but in different forms. We've been conditioned to think they are "there" and "there", but they are everywhere. I think some of the biggest offenders are sometimes in our own midst.

[emilamb]

What's humiliating is being forced to dress in a way you don't want. Consider a TS who has gone full time being forced by her job to dress as a man. Would she be wrong to feel humiliated? Would we be wrong to feel humiliation for her?

[LaraPeterson]

It's hard to be humiliated if you aren't easily intimidated by other people. I'd imagine that those trying to exercise humiliation at the expense of someone else is a person easily intimidated themselves.

[RenneB]

I would find it more humiliating being forced to wear pajamas to the mall.... oh, my bad, that happens to be the style out here... yea right. I must say that when I do observe purposely bad style, I tend to stare then turn and shake my head.... Those with great style, really making an effort in how they look and act, I'll give them a look and a nod with a gentle 'nice' as I walk by...

A guy in a dress trying to look like a guy in a dress, well that depends on where I am. At a goth punk rock concert, I think nothing of it... at walmart, well that's another issue. There's a time an place to dress and dress well. It's all about the location and the event...

Renne.....

[RADER]

Growing up the neighborhood girls played a game "catch the boy and put a dress on him" for some strange reason I got caught way way more often than anyone else.... that was 5 decades ago.... and nothings changed.....

Karren;
You look way to young for you to be around 5 decades ago;
Going to an all boys Christen Brother High School, Girls where a Ta-boo subject;
Except your mother, then it we OK.
Rader

[docrobbysherry]

Humiliation doesn't come from others, it comes from ourselves!

I'm more embarrassed to go out in "blending" granny gear than as Sherry in something HOT!

[alwayshave]

I have a pink shirt. When I wear it, I invariably get compliments from girls. When I wear a dress, I get similar compliments from girls!

Lynn Marie, I always wear pink shirts and today my secretary commented on how much she loves the fact that I wear pink shirt. I have pink oxfords and pink polos, and could not foresee wearing anything else other than my blue oxfords.

[LauraOTN]

Growing up the neighborhood girls played a game "catch the boy and put a dress on him" for some strange reason I got caught way way more often than anyone else.... that was 5 decades ago.... and nothings changed.....

That... sounds... like a lot of fun.

[AllieSF]

Humiliation doesn't come from others, it comes from ourselves!

I'm more embarrassed to go out in "blending" granny gear than as Sherry in something HOT!

I like that first sentence. It is basically saying what I was trying to say, but you stated it much more simply. Thanks.

[Adriana Moretti]

im with Revlon Jenn !..its one opinion....

[rocketscientist]

Ok, I've read all the replies here. Here are my thoughts on the subjects of humiliation or embarrassment. Remember this. YOU are the only one who can make yourself a fool. When you go out dressed in the RW you must OWN any situation that comes your way. If someone tries to belittle you in any way, stand up for yourself and show them that they don't have that power over you. I.E.= Be the master of YOUR domain!

[Eryn]

Yes. Acceptance changes over time. Imagine the best player in the NBA in the 1950's showing up for a game with a gigantic diamond earring.

The reverse happened in 2007 where the Lakers owner had the team wear "retro" uniforms from the '70s, including the short-shorts worn back then. It lasted one game, with one player commenting "I feel naked and violated." After that, they kept the retro jerseys but went back to wearing gangsta shorts. I guess Kobe doesn't like showing off his legs.


I am afraid there is a large part of society that will never accept CDers.

No, it's a small part of society, just as there is a small part of society that will not accept minorities, women in traditionally male jobs, or people who do not subscribe to their own belief structures. We have to accept the presence of these people if we are to live in a free society but that does not mean that we have to give them any attention.

[vallerie lacy]

Growing up the neighborhood girls played a game "catch the boy and put a dress on him" for some strange reason I got caught way way more often than anyone else.... that was 5 decades ago.... and nothings changed.....
How lucky can you get

[sarahcrossed]

A high school near me annually has a cross dress day. I see the students walk by. The girls just wear their regular jeans, and a hockey jersey. The guys all opt for an ill- fitting dress. They walk by my house laughing and carrying on as usual, with their hairy legs, and sock boobs. I don't sense any humiliation, just good clean fun.

My high school had a crossdressers day. It was brought on by one teacher I wonder if he was(or is) a crossdresser. I was to scared to dress up then. But he was the only mail teacher that dressed up that day.

[AmyGaleRT]

There's a good quote that's famously misattributed to Iggy Pop: "I'm not ashamed to dress like a woman because I don't think it's shameful to be a woman."

(The quote usually accompanies a picture of him in a dark green dress, that was originally taken by Swedish photographer Mikael Jansson. And he totally rocks it...with matching handbag, even!)

- Amy

[susan jackson]

There's a good quote that's famously misattributed to Iggy Pop: "I'm not ashamed to dress like a woman because I don't think it's shameful to be a woman."

(The quote usually accompanies a picture of him in a dark green dress, that was originally taken by Swedish photographer Mikael Jansson. And he totally rocks it...with matching handbag, even!)

- Amy

Here it is

[Teresa]

The female presenter may have her own hidden agenda, she may have experienced a family member being humiliated or she may have a male friend or partner who dresses and they enjoy it, so her intention may not been to humiliate the guy but if that's all she wanted to do she could get him to wear just boxer shorts or nothing at all.

[gailprice]

yeap i also heard this on the radio. I was cringing listing to it. I was also so annoyed.

[susan jackson]

If this happened on the radio, it seems pretty pointless!

In England, back in the 1950's, we had a man named Peter Brough on the radio. He was a ventriloquist (!) who used a puppet called Archie Andrews. Don't forget, this was on the wireless!!!!!

[Desirae]

I agree that humiliation is an inward reflection upon ourselves. If a CDer is out in the RW because they want to be out in the RW, then there is no humiliation. They're living their life for themselves and themselves alone. I disagree with some of the other comments that there is only a small segment of society that is not accepting of CDers. I think it's much larger than only a small segment. How large it is, I don't know. But, it's not that small. I think the last "group" to gain any meaningful acceptance by society at large will be the transgender community. It will be long after gays, lesbians, and bisexuals are accepted, and not just tolerated. There is a difference. There is still a lot of prejudice against gays and lesbians. Just because laws are made to protect some "groups" doesn't mean society accepts it. I think you're going to continue to hear about many incidents against transgenders for a long time to come. How many mainstream TV shows do you see transgender people in? Not many. And the few shows that there are, who watches them? For the most part it's other transgenders. Fifty years after the Civil Rights Movement and blacks still don't have full societal acceptance. There's a long way to go. How many "regular" (non-CD) guys do you think would want to watch the Victoria Secret Fashion Show knowing that there was a transsexual woman model in the show and not knowing who she was? Not many. It would threaten their manhood if they were attracted to her. That's still where society is.