Struggle

[Carlene]

After almost 100 posts and 2 years, I continue to struggle with being whatever it is that I am. I don't know really, who or what I am, or where I am headed, but I do know that I am happier than I was 2 years ago. Herein, lies the problem.

I can't walk away from those closest to me, whether it be my wife, my children, people I spend time with, and so on.............but I need to be able to move forward with this until I reach a point where I know it is right for me.

There is a part of me that wishes I could leave this all behind me and be the man I am known to be, but there is another aspect within me that is joyful for whatever it is that is happening to me. I have such a long way to go, but with each passing day I am more content with life.

Thank you all for being here. I don't speak about this much but it brings me great comfort to know that you are here with me. ............That is when I'm not hating myself for being here at all....(:-)


Carlene

[kimdl93]

I hope you are able to find a comfortable balance in the coming year.

[StephanieC]

I think it is immensely helpful to know that others have similar journeys.

I figure there is a reason for everything. There is something that caused me to start on this road and something that continues to give me momentum. I try not to think too far ahead, to what might happen, to possible breaks or pain. I will try to deal as it occurs.

[Jorja]

I am sorry that this is causing you so much pain. I know it can be very difficult. I do hope you can find a balance you can live with.

Never, Never, feel ashamed or hate toward yourself because of something you have no control over. If you don't love yourself first and formost, who will? Chin up girl, there is a solution to your problem. You just have to find it.

[Carlene]

Thank you Jorja, for your kindness.

[JamieQ]

I too have struggled on and off through out my life. During the last few years I have struggled the most and finally made a decision that I know is right for me. I have been extremely happy since then. I will be leaving almost all/everything behind me, but I can not go on the rest of my life miserable.

[Billiejosehine]

Just like you, I'm caught in a dilemma where I can't walk away from my SO, children, and those that I love. Even if my marriage is doomed For divorce, I'm still madly in love with her. And yet I'm tired of waiting and I'm ready to more forward in my journey. I too hope you find that balance you are looking for in life.

[TeresaL]

At first, it seems impossible to transition without losing your family, but there are a few who do make it. Will it be you who makes it? I wish you all good success in being your true self without losing everything. But be true to yourself, and live authentically.

[Barbara Ella]

Carlene, it is such a struggle to find out where one really fits, and where one can find that balance point of being true to yourself and finding the peace of family surroundings. That is also my struggle right now. So hard when you know not to hate yourself for this, but that is a must. Our lot in life, in order to really find a life.

Barbara