If you could go back and change one thing in regards to your crossdressing life...?

[polkadotfarrah]

What would you change?

For me, it would probably be breaking in my other side to my SO much more slowly. I felt like I had pushed too much and forced her into liking my CDing side, whereas I should've given her more time and remained patent. Hopefully then, she might find it in herself to enjoy and not always seem so forced (As she feels now).

I know it isn't healthy to dwell on the past, but perhaps there is a lot to be learned from what could've/should've/would've.

[GaleWarning]

I wouldn't ever have purged! All that lovely stuff, gone for good.

[polkadotfarrah]

Couldn't have agreed more!! So many cute clothes gone to waste :/

[MaryAnn40c]

I would have started my transition years ago!

[Michelle789]

I should've fired the psychic a year earlier, since she obviously didn't give a damn about my gender issues and thinks that "gender confusion comes from the devil"

[AmyGaleRT]

I would have told my fiancee sooner than I did. I missed out on years of dressing that way!

- Amy

[Beverley Sims]

Years before I got married I would have transitioned with two others I helped .
I do wonder what life would have been like if I did not have this interest at heart. :)

[PatriciaC]

I vote for
-
started seriously sooner.

Patricia

[Raychel]

What would I have changed, Well for one, I would have told my wife before we were married.
I had lied to her in the past about some things, to cover up my crossdressing, That was not right. I would never do that again.
That is one of the biggest things I would have changed, but it is water over the damn now. :thinking:

[Kim_Bitzflick]

We are the sum of all our experiences good and bad. If I change anything I change who I am now. I like myself as I am. Therefore I would not change anything.

[Kate Simmons]

If I changed anything I wouldn't be who I am today.:)

[natcrys]

I think I would have come out to my parents at a relatively young age. Somehow, at this age, it seems to much harder.

[Marcelle]

We are the sum of all our experiences good and bad. If I change anything I change who I am now. I like myself as I am. Therefore I would not change anything.


If I changed anything I wouldn't be who I am today.:)

I am going to agree with Kim and Kate on this one. While it would have been nice to continue exploring my femme side when I first encountered her at the age of 18 (made a much prettier girl then), rather than locking her away until now, I would have missed out on my daughter, my wife and my life as I know it now. All of these events define me and to have not experienced them, I am not sure who I would be today . . . perhaps a better happier person, perhaps not.

Hugs

Isha

[Erica Marie]

Just one thing? Omg impossible, every year, every day I see all the things I would have done differently. The biggest one would have been 30 yrs ago I would have found help and figured out who/what I really am and I would have lived life to the fullest instead of living the life that everyone expected to see out of me. Hind sight is 20/20 and I suggest to all the younger memebers to be yourself, find support and dont be afraid. Maybe one day the world will accept us and things will be better.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I would have not have purged, closet, purged cycled. I would have tried to make it a moderate steady thing. My poor wife does not know what end is up because of that. It's always the elephant in the room. By being more consistent she may have come to the realization that it's just a part of me. When I come out of the closet it looks like it more consumes me and that scares her and me.

[MsRenee]

I would have told my wife instead of hiding it from her.

Renee

[Sabrina133]

i would have embraced who i am at a much earlier age. Easy to say but had i done so, i hope i would have arrived at where i am now sooner.

[Cheryl T]

I would have sought out a support group much earlier and come out much sooner. I could have enjoyed my youth as a woman and who knows where I would be today.
That would have eliminated years of guilt and shame from my life and let me be free so much sooner.

[LadyInRed]

I wouldn't have purged, but stored the stuff and gotten back into it a lot sooner....

[sinderella]

I wish I'd have gone through HRT at 15 or 16, I've dressed since childhood and it's a major part of my life today. But now I'm afraid there is too much history from my past as "Jim" too ever be "Sindee" full time. My social life now is as a crossdresser and my "friends" of the past 8 yrs know Sindee (she's quite popular in those circles) and I get lots of encouragement from my peers. But (there's always one of those huh?) the "Jim" side is so separate from that world and I travel many miles to keep it that way. If I'd gone through with my wishes, life would be much different today. We all know that strides have been made that make gurls of our nature more acceptable than 40 yrs ago when HRT would have been more beneficial to a 15 year old rather than a 55 year old. I admire the brave gurls that had the courage to be who they were and took those strides.

[~Joanne~]

I would have embraced this part of me at a much younger age. hind sight is 20/20 they say ;) Plus I wouldn't have done all the purges that I have but how much of it would fit me now? lol

[janeycdbbw]

Wished I hadn't purged so much too. Lost so many nice things. BTW a stocking and PH lover too.
Janey , Puyallup

[JamieTG]

I would have told my mom during adolescence. Growing up in the 50's and 60's, society views really affected my self esteem. I thought I was bad, perverted, sick, ect. My mom sensed that something was bothering me but I was afraid to open up. Just telling someone would have helped greatly and maybe she could have got me to a therapist. When you can't accept and like yourself, its hard to live a truly happy life.

[lingerieLiz]

Just remember it could always be worse too. Yes there are some things that I would have done different, but I made choices then that I'm happy with now. We all learn as we go along in life. While I've purged some things the truth is we often hold on to things that needed to go.

[reb.femme]

I would have my wife know all about me, as you say over the water, from the get go. However, in the mid 70s, our art form was not the kind of thing that people shared and vilification would have been the least of my worries. Plus, I don't think my wife would have accepted at all then. Life experience makes us more liberal or at least less prone to knee jerk reactions. Not a golden rule, but being older makes for a more mature thought process, IMHO.

I was slim as a teen and in my twenties, all those lost years of gorgeous slim-line dresses, and I loved some of the 80s styles too.....aaaaah! :eek:

Agree, don't dwell on the past, but to have it in consideration. It is of course, what has shaped us all, and I'm hoping to have a lot more past to refer to in the future.


Rebecca

[Christine Andrews]

When I told my Mother about 7-8 years ago, I only told her a fraction of the truth and promised to quit (futile really). I am utterly convinced she knows much more than I would be comfortable to think about and acknowledge. Her attitude at that time was don't ask, don't tell and very understandable shock.

If I could change one thing, I would go back and be honest with both her and myself whilst I had the opportunity and nerve. This is one my biggest regrets and the consequences either way haunt me at times if I allow myself to brood.

Whether it would change anything for the better or worse I could not say but I have never dared to bring up the topic since.

As I have said though, she is very intelligent and probably knows - as Mothers always seem to do - and is thankfully overlooking it.

[irene9999]

Would've probably started sooner, I think I was totally in denial about my cd'ing in my teen/early twenties

[AmandaJosefine]

Saying yes to my mom when she asked me if I wanted my sisters old dresses/clothes when I was 6...

[sweetshauna]

I would've embraced my fem side at a MUCH younger age, and indulged more back then.

[Steph_CD_62]

Other than the couple of purges that I did, I can't say I would change anything.

[5150 Girl]

Well, I was in a play in HS for witch I got to dress... I heard this girl, (butch lesbian, but still cute) said she thought I was hot. I was a nerd, and she was actually one of "the cool kids" (it was unusual in the 80's for someone "different" to be in the "cool crowd") so when I heard about it, I blew it off as just more hazing on me.
I wish now I had the guts to investigate if she said it or not. I would have loved to have taken the opportunity to come out, and have been her "girl friend". (I kinda liked her since grade school anyway) And while ordinarily, for a nerd like me, coming out in the 80's in this redneck community would have been a death sentence. (another reason I didn't peruse it) However,,,, If I had been "Mr. K's" girl (as we called her) I wonder if I would have been "cool by association" which would have most likely afforded me a certain level of protection? I'll never know, as sadly she was killed in a crash just after graduation. I often wondered, if above mentioned scenario had played out, would Mr.K have been out on the sport-bike that killed her? Maybe we would have been out together that day in either her truck or mine?

[Christy Stevens]

Oh purging... I can definitely say I would go back and change that. I had so much stuff that meant a lot to me and my growth as a crossdresser.

[Luna Nyx]

i would have been true to myself sooner.

[Audreyanne]

I wouldn't have wasted time feeling guilty about it.

[rocval2001]

Would have spent time figuring out who I rally am before starting a life.

[StacyCD]

I wish I figured out I was not 'weird' sooner. It would have saved a lot of heartache!

[Valarie]

I would have learned to love myself more, before I used to dress and feel a burst of happy, but then I would get depressed. I know now that I should have learned to love myself and that there really wasn't anything wrong with me.

[Tina_gm]

I guess it would have been to accept myself from nearly the beginning. I spent, wasted so much time fighting it. In the end I ended up giving in to being who I am anyway. Just lost around 3 decades of this part of me. Another thing would have been to tell my wife before we were married.

[Janet Doe]

Thats a hard one, almost like a Pandora`s box. I some times wish I could have found the strength to go in the direction I really wanted at 18, but then I wouldn't have known my sole mate or had the two children I have now. Maybe I should have told her about my feelings to display my feminine side before we married ( 25 years and still have not ). I feel its hard to dwell on what could have been, what I did or didn't do. Just live my life to the fullest I can at present.

[Dena]

I would have said yes to the woman, who suggested I dress as woman for a halloween party we going to. She said she had a dress I could wear. This happened when I was 23, I kick myself whenever I think about it!

[AlyssaS]

I wouldn't have lied to my parents when they caught me and told them that I was just fooling around and didn't want to keep doing it.

[Andrea Renea]

Knowing what I know now I would have told my wife sooner. Missed having a lot of fun when I
was younger and thinner. Told her 15 years ago and she said " why didn't you tell me sooner?"
She was more open minded then I give her credit for.

She's still scared of me going out. Afraid someone we know will see me.

[Desiree2bababe]

I would exercise and become more feminine instead of more masculine.

[rachael.davis]

IF I could send a note back to myself at about age 18 it would say

Sweetie
You can hate the snot out of yourself all you like, and you can do everything you want to punish your body for being male, but it isn't going to change a darn thing.
Rachael

P.S. - God really doesn't hate you.

[mariehart]

I wouldn't want to change anything that would have stopped my two beautiful boys from coming into this world.

But if you asked me ten years ago I would told my younger self that we are transgender and that the only way to be truly happy is to accept that and do something about it. Plus that my career ambitions were never practical. I am fundamentally unsuited to it and in any case when I finally did get the coveted job at the age of 47 after 30 years of struggle. I would soon hate it. Train for something creative and start living as a woman as soon as I was able.

[PatChick]

I would have found this site earlier.

[Tallulah Rose]

Like many of us, I just wish I'd come to terms with myself much sooner.

[dana digs sweaters]

Invent the Digital Camera.......
ALL the pics us sweeties would have when we started dressing.......

[FemmeElastique]

As I read all of your responses, I feel that I either was born at the right time or I was always comfortable enough with myself to explore this part of my life. I started consistently CDing when I was 25-26 (I'm 31 now, and will be 32 on Sunday). In 2001-2002 when I was 19-20 years old, I remember having CD/TS (They were starting to live their lives as women) friends who told me that I'd look good as a woman, and and my facial and body features would make me look good. In some ways, I kinda wish I would have been more comfortable with it then and I could have started then. But it's ok, because I was living at home with my mom and I didn't want her to know. I transferred to another university in another state when I was 23. THAT would have been a good time to start it consistently. But waiting 2-3 years was also ok.

One thing I'd change in my past regarding my CD life is to know the right place and times to CD. After I had gotten super comfortable with it (2008), I would take advantage of going to Halloween parties dressed up, and occasionally I'd try my luck in a club or a bar dressed up. Sometimes I was a hit, sometimes I was a complete miss! When I look back, I feel kinda embarrassed, like, I would NEVER go to a bar dressed in what is obviously a Halloween costume on a non-Halloween day again! I developed a system to where I go to a place as a guy (bar, club, party) first, and I scope it out, and I say to myself "I could totally CD here and it would be ok" or "Nah, this isn't the right place." During my years, I've learned that there IS a right time and place to CD, and there ARE wrong places and wrong times.

Oh, and by the way, what is "purging"?

[Jaymees22]

I was going to say I should of started sooner, but I did do it the first time when I was 17. So I wish I had stuck with it instead of denying it for 50 years. Hugs Jaymee

[Gigi9]

Couda, woulda, shouda! I'm happy now and comfortable and have a bunch of clothes. As many of you did I threw alot away and restarted several times but have it good now. I don't know if I would be the same person if I had begun really dressing earlier. But! We just got a new house and I told my wife I wanted a vanity and a walk in closet for my stuff and I think I may get at least part of that if I share the space with her. I did say for her to keep out of my things and I would keep out of hers.

[LaraPeterson]

I would have transitioned as a teenager and lived full time as a woman.

[Ashleynn]

Not done everything in my power to ignore how I felt inside pretty much the whole of my adolescence and teenage years, and 3 years ago when I couldn't ignore it any more just giving into it instead of forcing it away.

[Christina8]

I would have gone through with the castration that I almost attempted but stopped due to fear of pain...

[Tina June]

I wish I would have told my wife years earlier. She was very accepting (after a short time of worrying) and she says that we could have had a lot of fun if she had known when we were both younger.

[SuzieLod]

Would have been more forward when men approached me. My one regret is that i shied away from lots of encounters

[CarissaM]

I would have tried to understand myself and be mindful what I was experiencing. Most importantly I would have been upfront with my wife early on; regardless of how very limited my CDing was back then. However with all that being said 20 years ago I didn't know what this CDing thing was or that there were other's in the world that had similar feelings.

[bimini1]

I always managed to tell the women I was seriously involved with from about the mid-1980s onward. Looking back, it was a mistake to tell my mother. So I would not do that again. I have not purged since about '98. But the ones before that were costly. I don't know if that could be avoided given the same societal pressures, socialization. I think that just goes with the territory.
I had some really nice stuff that went down to the landfill though.

[Glenda58]

I would told all my wife's and made sure they knew Glenda was here to stay and not to try and change me before I married them. My wife knows but will not let me let Glenda out.

[Cindy CA]

For me, I would definitely go back to my teen years and been more outgoing and express/explore my feminine self more.

[Stephanie47]

I would have bought a house with more and bigger closets.

[NathalieX66]

I wish I was not the closeted me that I was in the 1990's. So much denial.....not good.

What you see in my avatar photo to the left is who I really am.

[Teresa]

I'm trying to get my head round what scares a woman so much about CDing I'll post it when I do. I told my wife at forty one after thirty years of solitary confinement. I sobbed my heart out but at the end it felt like a ton weight off my shoulders, I tried gently to bring her into my world, I tried to convince her that the clothes and her were very intimately linked. After I told her I fell deeply in love with her all over again but I didn't get the same response back. That began to hurt, I had stopped hiding and lying about cding and I wanted to share my renewed feelings for her. Sadly the solitary confinement cell grew again so here I am talking to people who do understand so we can help each other and I can share the funnier side of it.

[Valerie1973]

YUP YUP YUP! What everyone said especially if we all could go back with what we know now...... we'd all be sitting "pretty". I would have told the wife when I proposed, OR I would have never bothered getting married.

[Sarah V]

Wish I had started dressing fully at a much earlier age. Wish I had started going out and actively meeting others much earlier than I did. Wish I had bought a personnel computer and connected to the Internet thing (BBS's back then) than from when I finally did.

[MascStilettoBoy]

wish I would have started earlier, and looked for a support group earlier on

[heatherdress]

Start dressing sooner. I would not have worried as much about what other people thought. I would have experimented, learned, developed myself better, deeper. I would have fully enjoyed my experiences and been more open to others. I would have dressed frequently, expressed myself more openly and confidently. I would have explored every aspect of crossdressing that intrigued me and develop a self awareness of who I am. I am still learning and growing. I wish I had allowed myself to start earlier.

[DivineMissAmber]

I would have invested in skin care products sooner. I also would have kept my weight down. Things get harder as I get older.

[Wendy G]

A few years ago I fully accepted who I was. Once that occurred, I was able to live with peace of mind. It's allowed for a much more enjoyable experience. All the inner turmoil is gone. I wish I would have realized this acceptance a decade earlier. All the inner strife is emotionally draining and just exhausting. The continual cycle of purging/reemerging/purging is a waste of time and effort. I'm glad that's behind me now.

[Shellycd12]

For Me. I should have started dressing many years sooner. I always had the desire from early on to dress but never had the nerve.
Also wish i could have joined this forum sooner.

Shelly

[dmbrocks]

So many chances..one that sticks out is I wish when I was in high school I would have done one of those dress as the opposite sex days for school. As a closeted CD that would have been a perfect excuse to get my girl on

[Rachel_B]

I would have transitioned as a teenager and lived full time as a woman.

I'm with you, if realized who I really was at a younger age I would have liked to transition before puberty but I started to CD in my early teens while realizing that I was female on the inside. Right now, I am in the process of getting BA but thats probably for another thread.

[EmilyPith]

Start on HRT 20 years ago.

[Julie1123]

I'm also in the wish I would have started earlier boat but I was pretty clueless about it until after I started under dressing regularly and then started experimenting more heavily. Looking back though on things I did when I was younger, it's a wonder I never thought about being a crossdresser...

[CONSUELO]

i would have been true to myself sooner.

I think this captures it for me. The biggest difficulty was not being able to recognise my true self at an early age. I thought it was just a fetish and could be controlled or that being in the right heterosexual relationship would make all of these feelings and desires go away. Perhaps if I had been able to gain access to some good and thoughtful counsellor I might have been able to understand myself sooner.

[Marsha Marsh]

I simply wish that I would have embraced me feminine side a lot earlier. I also wish That I too would never have purged so many time. I lost some really nice stuff over the years.

[Samantha_Smile]

I would have educated myself at a much earlier age.

[Sarah Doepner]

I would have been born about 30 years later. That would have given me the chance to take advantage of all the changes in technology (web, digital photography, cell phones all come to mind) and society that have occured in that time. It would have been easier to accept myself earlier and found support where it wasn't available back then.

[Jordan]

I would nave let the cat out of the bag in my 20 not now trying to dress when I can and hide some of it from the out side cruel world

[stacycoral]

I wish I knew about changing in my teens, I would have wanted to become a woman back in my 20's and enjoyed life as a woman, o well,

[HeatherMmm]

I would definitely have transitioned as early as possible. At least early in my university days. And maybe spent significantly less time in the gym as a teen.

[stephaniepamela]

I think I would have tried to accept myself and move forward at a much younger age. Having said that, I'm pretty happy where I'm at, and how I got here. It's all worked out fine, so far :)


P.S. Oh, and like Heather said, less time in the gym(in my case, lifting weights!)

[CarlaWestin]

Stay single.

[Claire Cook]

So many interesting replies to this question. I know I wanted to look like a girl from way back. Maybe that means "be a girl". Maybe that means that if I knew then what I know now, I would have transitioned. I'm glad I didn't since I wouldn't be married to the wonderful person who has supported me for 45 years.

[Tina_gm]

Good point Claire. From a gender aspect, I can say that I would have accepted myself much earlier, stopped the mental war I had with myself, and enjoyed the feminine aspect of myself. I might have had a different job, different friends, a different circle of life that would have been more accepting, friends that would know etc etc. But then, I wouldn't have found my wife. So perplexing isn't it? I cannot imagine my life without her, so even though I have struggled a lot with my own acceptance, perhaps it was all for a purpose.

[Nancie64]

I only wish I had the nack to get the make up done right. I am comfortable when I have a makeover but would like to dress to the top more often including the make up but just have not mastered that end of it. Like some here, I wish I would have not hid out so long. Over the dam and will enjoy it now.

[Jenn Monk]

If the changes only effected my crossdressing life? Then I wish I had tried very hard to look my best when I was younger, lighter and had really long hair. But if I had, who knows where I would be today, better off or worse off? I'll stick with the devil I know.
As for purging, I had a long talk with an ex GF not too long ago and it turns out we both regret giving up some of the outfits we had (especially shoes!) so maybe it's not just a CD thing.

[Elisa Lace]

I would definitely not present crossdressing as a problem to my girlfriend (or any ex for that matter). Instead of a "problem" it could have just been a fun thing to do...

[Adriana Moretti]

I wouldnt change anything...however the resouces today with the internet make it so much easier than say 10-`15 years ago...i wish it was available when I first started...ohh and the purges

[ossian]

I would have not been born.

[AmandaCDFL]

I would have stared sooner!

[SuzanneS]

I hate to say that I would have changed anything, because I DO actually love my life. I just have this fairly large aspect of it that keeps tugging at me and being a secret that I have to hide.....

I guess that when I was in my teens, back in the late 80's/early 90's that I would have not have worried so much about being so "manly" because that's what everyone expected of me. I would have at least let my Mom know that I felt like I should have been born a girl. I should have at least acted in a way that may have shocked many back then, (20+ yrs ago!) but I would have survived. I would have maybe acted a little more fem(?), I don't know...I guess I didn't know that I could have acted any different back then. I may have wanted to, but I figured that my world would end if I did.
I tried on my Mom's clothes and makeup back then when the parents were gone......I loved it. I really did. The more I remember, the more that I recall that I wished that I could become a girl when I was in 6th grade. I was jealous of the girls in my class....
Now...I just sometimes wish that I wasn't so established in the community that everyone would notice that I was not my male self anymore....If I could just pick up and move to where nobody knows me and start over as Suzanne(or whatever name I really liked).... maybe next time....

[Madilyn A.]

I would have told my wife while we were dating, instead of on our honeymoon.....or I would have invented the internet in the mid 60's, become a billionaire by the age of 21 and then have access to all this wonderful information we lacked back then, and I would be filthy rich....Oh the possibilities !!!

[cdjess]

As above, not starting sooner.

[kelliboots]

I feel like many, that with knowledge back then I would have started sooner. No internet or real way to discover that I wasn't alone hurt my chances at being gorgeous in my 20's! Why couldn't Al Gore invent it sooner...lol

[kymmieLorain]

Stated much, much earlier.

Kymmie

[Heather W]

I would have come out of the closet a lot sooner. I missed all of my teens and 20's I could have been enjoying as Heather

[StacyPump]

I wish I knew then what I know now. I wish I had been braver. I wish I had explored and experimented :battingeyelashes: a little more!

[Michaella]

I would have tried going out in public a lot sooner, and I would have been more open with more people about it.

Michaella

[NikkiBeth]

If I would have explored my female side after my divorce, who knows where I would be now. Now that I am here I would not to go back since my wife and sone would not be in my life.

[JMO2]

When I was 15. After I had put on that skirt and went out to show my mother how I looked. I would have said "I like the way it feels. Can I start wearing girls clothes, if all girls clothes feel this good when I put them on?" (I had already put together an entire outfit that was the color *orange* it consisted of a skirt, Bodysuit and shoes which she never saw me in. Which I wish I would have put on and showed her)

[Sabrina1013]

I would have started my collection and started dressing much earlier since I've always enjoyed it

[VeroS]

I would have started my collection and started dressing much earlier since I've always enjoyed it

I definitely agree with all those who say they would have started much earlier. Whenever I see photos of younger CD's looking gorgeous I am so envious. It would be nice to know what I could have looked like when I was younger and slimmer.

[Alexis.j]

I wish I had discovered and started earlier in life... Things would have been tatally different.

[Terri Semes]

I wish I had not told my SO that I purged when I told her she told me how glad she was that I did ,but maybe it was good to get the truth from her before it became an issue between us.
But now the urges to dress are returning and if I dress , either I hide it from her or try a DADT situation .

[suspender]

For me it would have been to have found this website earlier and to also come out of hiding a lot earlier than I did. Life has been a lot easier since I did both. No regrets for the rest.

[Dawn Gurl]

Definitely would have come out sooner, instead of hiding behind my outer shell all the time and living with the pain of not understanding. Today, with the internet and this fantastic forum and it's fantastic ladies for support, I could have enjoyed the girl in me, sooooooo much more !!!

[NatalieMN]

I wouldn't ever have purged! All that lovely stuff, gone for good.

I agree completely. I have purged twice in my life, both times when I moved in with other people. I still look back and regret some of the things I got rid of as I can't find some of them anymore. I used to have quite a collection of satin panties and now it seems like almost no one sells them anymore. I have found Soma does and I really like theirs, but it would still be nice to have some of the things I had earlier.

[VirtuaGrl]

To change our past changes our present. I have never liked the idea of would was honors a could a because while changing some things may have made some things better, the rule of unintended need consequences suggests that other things, things we enjoyed or benefitted from, may not have occurred because of those changes.

That being said, if I could change one thing without fear or worry of unintended consequences and being assured that all of the positive things in my life would have still occurred, I think I would have blended my two lives at a much earlier age. I would have been much more open about my gender bending so it would be merely another of my hobbies, like playing paintball, camping or bicycling. Something I did when I could without concern about who knew.

[Anacita]

I wish I'd started 20 years earlier!

[Kristy 56]

Definitely, start going out shopping etc,and embrace the life fully.If only we could turn back the hands of time.

[Tina B.]

Wow, what would I do different, can't say I'd have started any earlier, I started at around 6 years old, couldn't have told anyone, in my day that would have meant a shrink with the possibility of shock therapy. I guess the one thing I should have done differently was tell my second wife about it sooner.
It was a big part of the break up of my first marriage, so I was afraid to say anything. I had purged after my divorce, and had promised myself I was never going to dress again, it was ruining my life. Did fine during the days of a new romance, busy with work, dating, life was good with out a dress on. But after we got married, life got hard, times where rough, money tight, and the old desire to dress came back stronger than I had ever known it to be, but I held on to "I'll never do it again" after five years of marriage, I had almost ruined a second marriage, I was depressed, augmentative, and hard to get along with, and she was fed up with it. I figured I was losing it all anyway, and she had a right to know it wasn't her fault, it was all me and then I told her what was wrong with me, I figured it would creep her out and she would put us both out of our misery by walking out, but she surprised me by sitting and listing to me drone on, pouring out years of fear, guilt, anger at what I was, and apologizing for all I had put her through.
The crazy lady didn't run, well she did, just not to where I had thought she would. While I though she would run home to momma, instead she ran down to the mall and bought me two outfits, with a wig, and heels and jewelry, foam forms, and a waist cincher, instead of a night in tears of hurt and loneliness, I spent it in heavenly bliss, and just think, if I had told her 5 years earlier instead of 38 years of a blissful marriage, it might have been the whole 43 years.

[Danielle/Mo]

I definitely agree with all those who say they would have started much earlier. Whenever I see photos of younger CD's looking gorgeous I am so envious. It would be nice to know what I could have looked like when I was younger and slimmer.

I can totally identify with VeroS. When I see photos of how well some younger CD's with a smaller frame and less height than I have been cursed with pull it off I get depressed. Sometimes to the point of locking myself in my bedroom, laying down with my face in a pillow and crying. The fact that there is nothing I could do about it ( go back int time, shrink in size,etc ) probably upsets me the most.

[njcddresser]

I would have given in to feminine desires much earlier. I know I was a feminine cross dresser inside since I was a teen but didn't give in to them until 3 months ago. I'm 51 now.better late than never.

[Ilsa]

Would have liked to have maintained my weight a little bit better so that I could be a little more shapely than I am now. It would have also helped with my budget. Having to go to a larger size when I purchase some articles of clothing dings my pocket book.

[Jaylah414]

I would have started when I was young and pretty! But, that may have changed my entire life and I may have never met my wife. So, I reckon the real answer is I wouldn't change a thing...

[Erica Anne]

If I could go back to myself in the past. I would take several years supply of hormones with me. And tell myself in the past, take the pink pill if you want to fulfill your desires and be happy. Take the blue pill but you will have to wait until you are past 40 to enjoy what you cannot anymore.

In addition, I would convince myself to stay away from too many sweets, ruins a girls figure when she gets older.

[Patty F]

I would have transitioned when in my teens, now I'm just too old so I have to be satisfied with looking like a man in a dress.

[dana 1]

I would have grown my hair long before I lost it

[Amy Hepker]

I wish I would have transitioned when I was young

[Rachel292]

I can't give one answer
1. When my friends (guys and gals) gave me a bra on my 20th birthday as a joke (because even then I had man boobs), I should have worn it with pride - If only they knew - maybe they did.
2. I would have skipped the purges, forget the money I wasted - I really did like some of the heels and dresses and I’ve never been able to replace them ( I could probably fill a number of closets by now, and I guess there wouldn’t be room for me). Otherwise I am where I am and I’ve got to accept it. I could never do without my family (the kids and the grandkids) I love them all.

[Caden Lane]

Id have not purged, kept dressing through teen years, not revealed dressing to two wives, not gotten married... worked on passing sooner...so many what ifs and maybes.

[Zimri]

I wish I'd had the courage to fully embrace and accept this part of myself when I was younger ... (and hotter!)

[Peta-Downunder]

Not keep clearing out my collections and accepted it as who I am earlier and just learnt to enjoy. Had some good stuff I wish I could get back :(

[Glenda58]

I would have made sure my wife knew want CD means to me and that I didn't want to stop before I got married.

[Erica Anne]

All of my life I have always felt I got the wrong body parts. "I want to be a girl" is a daily thought and desire. That goes way back to early childhood. Considering my life experiences, I would not trade any of it, so if it were possible to visit myself at an early age, I probably would not do it. I would however go back every time I purged and collect the things I missed most. Sometimes it is difficult to accept who you are on a personal level. I am happy being me. I am okay being male even if I still want to be female. If I looked more like my sister, I would even be happier. Sometimes I wonder if we are even related...... No I am not attracted to my sister, but she is a really pretty woman (I get told that by many of my friends over and over again.) Unfortunately I look like my Dad, I am not disappointed but would rather have more features from my mother, I would probably still have hair. Hair loss must have been on my grandmothers side, my father's father had a full head of hair. As for the nose, I have no clue where that came from....

[danielletorresani]

If I had to change anything, I probably wouldn't have started dressing to begin with.

Though I absolutely LOVE it, the problems it's caused in my life probably outweighs the benefits.

[traci_k]

If things were different 40 years ago, I would not have gotten married twice trying to live with GD and transitioned then. Kids have it so much better today.

Hugs All,

[lovetobedani]

There's definately more than one thing that I'd change. One would be to have allowed a girlfriend of mine help me dress. That was in the late 80's right after my divorce. To maintain my weight better. But mostly to have found others like me alot earlier.

[lisagurl]

I would have gotten much deeper into the cd life much earlier

[NancyLewis]

My wish: I had talked to my mother about my desire to be raised as a girl so she could have helped me with hormonal therapy before my male traits emerged.

[Christen]

I would have told my wife before we got married. But then it might have been if we got married.

[Anna H]

I ended up lucky and happy, so knowing what I know now, I'd have
to say I wouldn't change anything....it all had to happen as it did for
me to be where I am now.

I have thought of things I would have done if I'd had the chance at the
time. DIY HRT would have been one 30 years ago. I'm now glad I didn't
have that chance, but it could have turned out fine....never will know.

I should have joined in with the online community 5 years ago. But again
things had to work out exactly like they have for me to have ended
up as happy as I am now.

I wish I'd saved some of the clothes I made. Just to make patterns off
of them right now if nothing else. I designed some pretty nice stuff that
fit me perfectly. Lost it all in a move though...:(

[anaissa]

I wish I could go back to every time I purged my feminine items and stopped the madness. If I had these forums available to me, things could have been a lot different. The bottom line is that you should seek support and guidance from your sisters in times of crisis. This site is an invaluable gift.

[Lexi Moralas]

I would be more careful and prevent my SO from finding out. My life is such , that if the SO did not know I would have alot of opportunity to get out fem, and my fem life would actually be awesome right now if I hadn't been so careless. Instead of non existent as it is now .

[Barbie Anne]

I, like what the common theme seems to be here, also feel I wouldn't change anything that made me who I am, because I love me now. Also maybe wouldn't have purged so much over the years........My poor beautiful size 15 women's shoes that I spent so long collectiong..........gone forever and hard to replace now on a fixed income.

[Aeslyn]

I agree with the regrets over purging. I still miss so much stuff I once had, like lamenting friends or family who have passed.
But I would also like to have more fully embraced my fem self earlier and understood it earlier rather than suppress it so much out of needless quilt and shame.

[Karen kc]

Going way back, I wish I would have accepted my cding when I was a lot younger and it wasnt going to change Also, that I was"nt the only cd in the world.

[julie marie1]

Although I have been a crossdresser for 40 years, it is only recently that I have become comfortable with myself. If I could change anything, I would have been bolder when I was younger and would have gone out dressed more regularly. However, it is only relatively recently that the internet has made it possible for someone like myself to connect with others with similar feelings.

[andrea35]

Knowing my wifes' beliefs I should not have married her.

[dressyjessy]

I have a couple that come to mind...

Told my wife prior to getting married.
Not purged my things.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I would have come out of my secret closet in my early twenties and would have lived the rest of my life dressed enfemme. It's my life and I should be able to live it to the fullest, unfortunately my decisions have made it so others have to be considered so no full time enfemme for this girl.

[Taylor Ray]

If I could change anything, it would be the mindset that "THIS ISN'T NATURAL", OR "THIS IS WRONG".

Maybe the younger generations, with internet and more acceptance, will be able to shed those psychological "weights" faster.

But there is something special about the older members of this site too: Pioneers!

Maybe we should just change our............................................... .................................................. .................................................. .outfits!

[TrishaMarie]

I would have come out to my wife about it before we got married. I hope that we would still have gotten married, because I did and still very much love her and would want to lose anything from our life together (kids), but I think it would have been more fair to her.

[JeanVigo1905]

I would have been more open about my dressing when I was younger -- it's been the hiding for so many years that's made things more difficult now.

[katlee]

I would have started in college. I had my own private room and there was a large LGBT presence on my campus so it would be a rather accepting place.

[Tomara]

I would have loved to have accepted myself and my dressing as a positive part of who I am as a person much earlier in life .