The Hardest part about being a CD

[~Joanne~]

Hey Everyone :D Happy Holidays to you and yours! Hopefully the season will find you all in good health, spirits, and the fat man will bring you a bunch of girly goodies ;)

As I was sitting here, looking over things online to buy my SO, it hit me what a hard life we have sometimes as CD's. I guess it all depends on your personal situations and such but , in general, sometimes all of this can be over bearing.

So being curious and such, I though I would ask......what is your hardest aspect of being a CD?

Is it not being able to tell/share this with anyone? Is it shopping for your needs? Is it your inability to not accept this fully? Not enough time to actually dress? the list could go on and on.....

For myself, I think it's not having enough time in the day to actually dress and relax. Especially this time of year. It seems that I am working so much and constantly on the run and dressing (and shaving) have taken a back seat to everything else I am doing. I would love to have a full day here soon to just be myself.

Just a side note seeing it is the season, I wish my SO liked clothes shopping a bit more. She absolutely loathes it (solo) and refuses to buy anyone clothing for Xmas which leaves the purple sweater dress , on my list, probably out in the cold lol

[karynspanties]

For me, knowing that I am transgendered, with a wife and grown kids is not being able to live as a transgendered male. Most of my family would walk away.

[Kandy Barr]

Geez Joanne, just this year I came out to everyone and all my family and friends have bought for Kandy. Wow, the acceptance has been nothing less than wonderful. Hope you get some time to be your gorgeous self. Merry Christmas to you and yours dear, and hope the New Year is full of blessings!

[Stephanie Julianna]

Definitely not being able to share my love of dresses, heels, makeup and stockings with my wife. She feels that she is not pretty enough to dress like I want to even though she has only seen 1 or 2 Pictures of Steph over the years. And she is definitely pretty enough. She only wears a dress for wakes and weddings just like I only wear a suit for the same reasons. I would drown her in lingerie and pretty clothes if she wanted them.

[Trishpdxcd2]

Well not being able to share this part of myself with my so....

[Beverley Sims]

Probably sharing it with others.
I have a good time when traveling abroad.
Not close to home then. :)

[reb.femme]

Not being out to my sons. Although, I have discussed this with my wife in the last couple of days, I think we will get Christmas out of the way and look to do this in the New Year.

My eldest son, with whom I am very close, didn't take it too well when his brother came out as gay many years back. More than anything, he is my biggest worry. The younger two will be no hassle. I won't bore you with the reasons for this very optimistic prediction. Thereafter, the rest of the world can go screw themselves in regards to my alternative lifestyle. :straightface:

Rebecca

[jaye_cd]

The hardest part for me this time of year is ending up with more stuff in the online shopping cart for myself then my spouse and having to toss stuff out.

[KaceyR]

That's my biggest... Not being able to really be open with it to friends and family.
I really am feeling that most would have no issues with it... And most may already suspect.
I'm luckier than several here (in a few ways) that I don't have to deal with a wife or girlfriend.
And my family is small (just mom) and low amount of friends (thanks to non-sociality from night shifts so much).
So even this is is probably more milder than most.

My 2nd hardest is just not yet having enough supplies/clothes to feel I could try to go out. Working on that part though..:) but that needs more pay checks..:)

[AmandaJosefine]

Keeping it a secret and not being able to do it when I want to :(

[irene9999]

Not being able to openly share this side of me with everyone. I guess society still has a ways to go. Also, leg hair is a problem, love sexy smooth legs but my leg hair grows way too quickly!

[Christina Kay]

Though out to my wife, still see the occasional struggles she has with, How far will this go? Especially since Tg is now involved. Hugs

[tiffanynjcd24]

not be able to be yourself around ppl and worry about spending money

[Christy Stevens]

I would have to say the hardest part for me is the time it takes to "transform". I could make the total transformation take up to four hours. Showering, shaving (ugh...), makeup, picking out an outfit (hardest part) ;). Then, after that, it's almost too late to do anything. Nevertheless, I always enjoy my transformation time. :)

[sweetshauna]

Going to functions like Thanksgiving, or Christmas dinner wishing I could've wore a dress instead of pants.

[Steph_CD_62]

There are 2 things.
First is that I can not dress the way I would like to out in public. I live a very conservative part of the country that does not tolerate crossdressers.
Second thing is that even though my wife supports me, it would be nice if she would accept it more.

[Katy120]

The hardest part of being a CD is being a CD. I would rather not have this tape playing in my mind, "Wouldn't it be lovely to be lovely?" Sheesh...... life is complicated.

[CarolynO]

Hardest part is going to a wedding in a shirt and tie,not the bride in the wedding dress!Torture for me.Also do not like LOUD band playing at wedding receptions(deaf in one ear).

[suchacutie]

Tina has a life of her own, and that was the idea from the beginning. When she has regular time not only does she have a better facility with the details of transformation, but she also has crafts of her own, books she is reading, an instrument she enjoys playing, and that doesn't mention her relationship with he r girlfriend (my wife) being much better. So it's very much the lack of regular time that she finds hard.

[Tina_gm]

I would say the hardest things are the lack of society acceptance. When there is mention of crossdressing, transgender, the overall reaction to it by a vast majority. The lack of knowledge about it by so many. Also hard, harder in some ways is that my wife struggles with it.

[Flirty_Fantasies]

Spending too much time alone at home, feeling warm, affectionate, sensual, and sexy and nobody with whom to share those feelings.

[LadyInRed]

the hardest part is keeping it at home.

[laciewhite]

lots of the comments above resonate with me!

as a strictly closeted dresser, i don't feel the need to share it with my SO, although i don't like the fact that i have this secret i don't share with her..i'm just too scared of what would happen if she knew.
shaving is another big thing for me. if i could i would shave off all body hair religiously..i enjoy the process and the results immensely but can only do it at certain times of the year.

[renee elizabeth]

Wishing I could dress a lot more and being closeted are my two biggest issues.

[Launa]

For me, knowing that I am transgendered, with a wife and grown kids is not being able to live as a transgendered male. Most of my family would walk away. This has got to be the toughest thing I have to deal with too! Although my SO is very supportive......

I have a heck of a time trying to get dressed in the house when the kids are not around and then to go head out somewhere.

[MayaMe]

The hardest parts for me is not having enough time to dress and the feelings of isolation.

[Eryn]

For me, the hardest part is not completely fitting into either world. I realize that I don't really enjoy being part of the male world and the female world is one of sequential challenges. Every time I reach a goal another one reveals itself!

Still, I have had some amazing times with Mimi and our great friends in the TG community and I wouldn't want to go back to the self-denial I lived with for decades.

[AlyssaS]

It's funny, the hardest part for me is how much I like the male world for the most part. I love going to soccer/football/hockey games. I like sex as a guy. I love being a man.

I just want to do that stuff while wearing a cute dress and some dress, and that's just tough.

[PaulaQ]

To me, the worst part was the fear.

[Michelle_Phoenix]

It's definitely trying to find time. In a full house, the only time I get is when everyone is asleep.

[Drusilla]

Keeping the secret for so long is the hardest part for me, such a big part of who I am it seems wrong that not one person in my life really knows me properly. As I am not a big contributer at the moment I would like to take a quick moment to wish you all a Happy Christmas and thank you for your kind words of welcome.

[Adriana Moretti]

Not EATING all the junk I would like to eat ! I have been living on salad stuffed into a pita with no dressing..trying to lose a few more pounds...I miss EVERYTHING from pizza, junk food, fast food, a burger..BEER !!...Before my last purge I was used to having a very small appetite...but not now!! .For the holiday I am going to enjoy eating for 2 days...then its back to veggies and the treadmill again..got to fit into that bikini this summer !!

[~Joanne~]

I would have to say the hardest part for me is the time it takes to "transform". I could make the total transformation take up to four hours. Showering, shaving (ugh...), makeup, picking out an outfit (hardest part) ;). Then, after that, it's almost too late to do anything. Nevertheless, I always enjoy my transformation time. :)

The time to get ready surly is a long process I think a lot of share a mutual dislike for. I know it takes me quite a while and by time I am done, I have lost the light for any really decent pictures I may want to take. I do enjoy it also though ;)


I would say the hardest things are the lack of society acceptance. When there is mention of crossdressing, transgender, the overall reaction to it by a vast majority. The lack of knowledge about it by so many.

I certainly agree with you. I think a lot of the TV shows that poke fun at CDing have done more harm than good and there is a wide misconception that we are all gay which really upsets me on a daily basis.


To me, the worst part was the fear.

I think for a lot of us, it still is. While it's no longer at the fore front for Me personally, it still creeps up on me from time to time and I hate it.

[Jaymees22]

The hardest part of crossdressing for me is explaining it! Jaymee

[Karren H]

The hardest part for me is when my wife accuses me of doing something (crosdressing wise) that I didn't do although I would have loved to do..... guilty by association! My New Years resolution should be to do everything possible so my wife won't falsely accuse me anymore! lol

[Dianne S]

There are many things, but for me one of the hardest is dissatisfaction with my appearance when CD'd. I just can't get the perfect look I'm striving for.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

1. Never having enough time to actually dress and be at peace. If only there were around 32 hours in a day, then I think everything would work out well.

2. Male body and all the challenges it brings with it. Yes it's great because in some areas I'm leaner, and can get a away with wearing smaller items with my weight, than if I would a GG who was the exact same weight and height due to the higher muscle ratio. Exercising and burning off the calories is easier. The problem is the cursed male appetite which goes along with supporting the lean muscle mass, and it's nothing to vacuum up around 2000 calories in one setting usually several times a day, and it's not the good kind of calories being consumed either.

3. A continuation of the male body and it's challenges goes with finding outfits that actually look good. Yes I can try an item on in a store, it could fit well, however when I'm completely done up from head toe, that same outfit can all of a sudden look too small, too big, or for some reason just not look very good on me, as it does on the GG modeling it.

4. As always having big male feet!!!

[stephNE]

As so many have already said is finding the time to be ourselves.
Those "free" days are so wonderful and really cherished when they come around.

[Stephanie47]

As a retiree with a working wife I have ample to time to be Stephanie. The hardest part is not being able to have the acceptance of my wife. It's DADT for moi. I would never impose my cross dressing upon my wife. I can understand why she is not supportive. Some of that has nothing to do with my cross dressing. It will never change. I would love to have a walk-in closet big enough to hang my 100 dresses and a dresser with drawers for bras, panties, hosiery and slips. I would love to greet her at the door in the evening totally en femme and prepare dinner for her in a pretty dress and heels. So, I have to be content with seven hours a day as Stephanie. I have no desire to share this with anyone else since I cross dress for the peace and serenity it brings me. To go out in public as Stephanie would totally defeat the purpose of my cross dressing.

[lovetobedani]

Being non passable and closeted there are many things that are hard for me. The fear of humilation, the thought for a very long time that I was the only one who did this, not being accepted for who and what I am.

I'm very thankful for this forum to be able to connect and share with others who are like me.

[Ally 2112]

For me it is the isolation and being alone in all of this .Even thou i know it is the only way it will work for me .Coming out is not an option

[Christy Stevens]

4. As always having big male feet!!!

I second the big feet!! Finding shoes is so hard!!

[DebbieL]

Keeping it secret. Something so near and dear to my heart an yet I couldn't tell those I loved most about it. My mom knew, but was terrified that I would have to go through electroshock, genital torture, or worse, like she had to do when she was raped by a congressman's son.

Because it was secret, there was also the loneliness. I could never let people know who I really was. I had to try to pretend to be something I didn't even want to be.

Isolation - I did a terrible job of pretending to be a boy, and later pretending to be a man. I was a good person, but people knew something was "off". Many assumed I was gay, which made matters worse. Not only did I not get fixed up with women who might have been attracted to be, but I had to turn down the offers from the gay men who were so hopeful. I would try to break it to them gently, letting them know they were attractive and desirable, but "not my type". Many assumed that I was still in the closet.

[Audreyanne]

For me, it is the lack of acceptance by society. For example, when I get a photo that I think looks good I would like to be able to post it without worrying that I might be recognized and/or evoking the mocking criticism of being deemed a guy in a dress. I also do not like going into a store for some feminine item and getting the knowing (and condescending) look from the shop assistants as they realize "Oh, you are buying it for yourself." (I now do all my shopping on the internet).