Shot myself in the foot. My goose is cooked!

[Alice Torn]

While going through a mixture of my guy and gal photos , to upload a new guy photo for my Facebook avatat, I accidentally uploaded a face and torso of me in blode wig. Sunglasses on. The bunch who know me are all on tonight, and none know i dress, and all would be disgusted, and horrified if they found i did it. I ate too much ice cream tonight, and am sugar drunk. I seldom do this anymore. I panicked, and tried to get to a guy pic, but was unable to scroll one up. So, then i scrambled trying to de-activate my account, and fumbled and bumbled, for a few minutes, shaking. Finally de-activated it, but maybe too late. I am hoping to try to get on at a wee hour, and try to find a guy pic fast to upload. My reputation is down the toilet , if some put two and two together. New main photos get shown to all Fb friends immediately! nO MORE ICE CREAM BINGES FOR ME. I should have known better.

[Rachael Leigh]

Sure hope it goes ok and doesn't ruin any of your friendships hon.

[JenniferR771]

Here is a sympathetic hug. I am sure your efforts at damage control will work out OK. You can do this.

[Keri L]

Your best shot may be to say something like Christmas? I thought it was Halloween, and play it off as a joke. Good luck, Hon.

[docrobbysherry]

Like Caitlyn, I hope your FB friends enjoy the Halloween costume u tried on at home but decided it was over the top!

[Ciara Brianne]

I fear I will one day make such a mistake. hopefully your damage control methods will prove affective.

Ciara

[GaleWarning]

I'm glad to see that you are still posting here, Alice. Stay with it, senior moments affect a lot of us! Be kind to yourself.

[Marcelle]

Hi Alice,

Sorry to hear about this. I think you will be able to weather the storm if as Caitlyn suggested you just play it off as a joke. Do you know for sure if anyone has seen it? Do you have a close friend who might be able to confirm? If so, damage control may mean a quick FB update (after pic change) to your close friends stating something like . . . go a bit silly last night and posted one my Halloween pics that will teach me not to drink and post (or something like that).

Hugs and good luck sweetie.

Isha

[girlygirly]

I thought this was a Christmas thread. I was all prepared to congratulate you for bagging the goose in spite of shooting yourself in the foot, then wish you a speedy recovery and a Merry Christmas, along with that deliciously prepared goose.


I would blame it on too much eggnog if anyone noticed, and hope for your sake that anyone online was under the influence and unable to see clearly. Good luck!

[Alice Torn]

Thank you all for your support. This is a very tough time of year every years it seems. Merle Haggard did a song, 40 yrs ago, named, "If we make it through December." I did not notice the "remove" font under the main photo. I struggled frantically to finally deactivate. Then went to bed. I got up around 5 am, when less folks are on it, and switched to a cat pic, then, found one of my sister, who is auburn haired, posing with a Laurel and Hardy exhibit. My mistake was a longer blonde close up smiling, with sunglasses on inside my place. Since most of my FB friends are not accepting of Holloween ( i don't either, but use it as a safe time to go out cd'd), i will say it is my sister. Senior momeents are getting me, at age 59, all too often. Alzheimers runs rampant in my deceased mom's side of the family. I believe i am sinking in that early. My very difficult father is 93 next month still going strong, making my life no fun. Thanks for the comments, and I really am sorry i was so blasted angry, the day i "quit" the site. Was already ornery, then got a delete. One delete at a time!

Here is the photo i accidentally uploaded on FB.

[Jill Devine]

But I think you could still be in trouble. When you change your profile pic your friends see it in the news thread. I think it remains in their history thread. When you change the avatar again they see the new one but if they scroll down the history they should still see the previous one. I think. Any Facebook experts here?

[Beverley Sims]

Alice,
Think of a good story to tell your friends, laugh it off they may just swallow your story. :)

Merry Christmas.

[linda allen]

It's a Halloween photo. Somebody hacked your account and posted it.

Really, we have to keep our wits about us when we get on our computers.

[CarlaWestin]

Alice, your picture is nice. Your contributions here have been a valuable inspiration for myself and others to just do what feels right and not worry about others narrow mindedness. I know that at my age I've rehearsed all necessary responses in the event of an unintentional outing of Carla. At this point, it's just a big, "So, I'm a crossdresser. And?" I'm sure your social situation is different but just imagine how boring everyone else's FB page is now. And really, FB and ice cream are creations of the devil. And Daddy is 93? And what are you using for goose stuffing?

[Rhonda Darling]

Move to a new town. Go into witless protection. :-)

Seriously, if anyone noticed, tell them your site was hacked and the photo was photoshopped to embarrass you. Then foll recommendation above.

Rhonda

[Aprilrain]

i will say it is my sister.

I don't know how to say this delicately so I'm just going to say it. I don't think anyone is going to believe that that is a picture of your sister, the person in the photo is clearly male. If I were you I'd come up with a different story. Sorry not trying to be mean just trying to inject a little reality into the situation. There is the chance that no one will notice or say anything!

[Barbra P]

How many of your FB Friends have you actually met face-to-face and you regard them as a friend – not an online friend but a real honest to God friend who will stick by you come hell or high-water? FB Friends are not real friends, they are online buddies who share some common interest but few can be called real friends, few will come to your aid when you need help. You made my point when you wrote “none know i dress, and all would be disgusted, and horrified if they found i did it.” If your so called friends really are disgusted and horrified then they don’t deserve to be called your friends. Sounds to me like what you need more than a good explanation of how that picture became your Avatar is a much better bunch of FB friends – friends with less bigotry.

I agree with April, Sister? Really? I don’t know what your real Avatar looks like but I don’t think I’d believe that was your sister. I spend as little time on FB as I can but I believe Jill is correct and that picture of your “Sister” is going to be on all of your Wall with the caption that reads that you changed your profile picture. I changed mine in March of 2011 and that entry is still on my Wall.

A better lie would be that your Sister (do you have a sister?) discovered your password and she posted the picture as a joke to get even with you – the two of you have been pulling practical jokes on each other since you were kids.

[Alice Torn]

Quite a few of the folks i have known in person, but moved away. They are in the same church org. Jill, You are right, I found two cd pics of Alice on my FB new scroll, and deleted them . This morning, around 5:20am, i accidentally uploaded a second Alice pic, for a few minutes, then replaced it, with one of my cat, then reolaced it, with one of my real sister. I am staying off FB site for several days or more, and hopefully it passes by, and people forget. I better be a lot more careful.

[stefan37]

I am transitioning and when I legally changed my name, I changed my FB name. I did not make up another account. I have not had anybody defriend me yet. I am full time and I have to tell you most people just do not care unless they are very close and even then my experience has been extremely positive.

[nervedisc]

I hope everything works out because doing what you did is a big step and takes a lot of courage. Stay true to yourself and you will be happy in the end.

[Tracii G]

Just pass it off as a joke and it will end up in the abyss of FB and be forgotten.
I run two pages one male one female and just blocked my male side from my female page,use a different browser for each.
When I first put up my female page I used the same browser a few things crossed over and I had a friend ask me if I knew who this girl Tracii was I said yeah but I never added her.
That was the end of his questions.

[Alice Torn]

Carla, What am i using for my "goose stuffing"? My ego.

[Jorja]

Just tell them you were in a play for your grandchildren. You got the part of Mrs. Claus. It's an all male production.

[Alice Torn]

Nice idea Jorja, but i never had children, let alone grandchildren! I could say i lost a football game bet!

[Flirty_Fantasies]

I think passing it off once as a joke in some manner as suggested here will do the trick if you are calm, cool, and collected in its regard.

Best wishes,

Janelle

[Chickhe]

Just deny it...you don't have to accept anything negative even if it happened... otherwise, you let someone borrow your computer and they posted it as a joke or you did it as a joke to see how many people actually would notice.

[Sara Jessica]

Why am I thinking you are trying to get yourself outed? This careless mistake happened not long after you found yourself running about town wearing makeup in guy mode.

You protest about family, about the intolerance of others, but you keep getting closer and closer to facing a full reveal...something which you seem to believe is a very unpleasant prospect.

Since this reveal appears to be inevitable, you might as well dispense with the excuses and made up stores and be prepared to own it. Either that, or find it in yourself to be more careful to protect yourself from accidental (?) discovery.

[kimdl93]

I have to go along with Sara on this. Honestly, Alice, it's time for you to seriously consider what changes you need to make in your life...emphasis on need. If you feel surrounded and confined by abusive and intolerant people, find a way to distance yourself from them. Beware. If you need to come out, find a more supportive circumstance... don't expect these people, whose attitudes you know so well, to change when they know the truth.

[Alice Torn]

Thankfully, damaged control, like on Voyage to the bottom of the Sea, seems to have worked.

Yes, I would like to move away, but can't , unless i win the lottery, or am given a few grand by an kind donor. I have helped many down and outers over the years. Well, a kind man bought me gasoline last week, when i ran out! What gore around comes around. I may quit crossdressing soon, too. There are things to come, which will take all energies and resourcefulness, and cding is a luxury .

[eddiegae]

OMG, I'm close to your age. I hope my senior moments don't slip up as bad as this! lol And trust me i have had a few! :P

[Annaliese]

I left some picture of me on my cell phone in the photo scroll, though I had deleted all of them , my granddaughter ask me if she could see my phone, She ask is this your sister, I do look like my sister when I dress, I handle it badly said no and delete all the pictures. She give me a smile she knew it was me, but nothing was said then or since.

[Sarah Beth]

I'm sorry this happened to you, you sound like you are really worried and upset by all this. To me however its just another reason on the list I reasons I have for not participating in any of these so called social media outlets. Every day I read where some celebrity or politician or someone did something on one of these sites that has gotten them into trouble. On top of that look how many times these sites have been hacked and private information has been taken.

I keep all my regular guy pics seperate from what few Sarah pics I have.

[Alice Torn]

Yes, I think because of loneliness and isolation, there is a part of me, that really wants to be caught, and outed, subconsciously. Thankfully, i have told several people in the church, and they accept me, but say i need to quit cding sometime. My life would be far simpler without it, it would be far easier to have a GF, i would spend less money, and may be happier, though, the urge would never totally leave in this life. In a nursing home, i sure would have quit! I believe humans can do just about anything, if they set goals, and work, and let go, and really believe change is possible. Look at Johnny Cash. Quit narcotics, got help. I am sick of being an isolated loner, with no girlfriend. Kim is right. I do need to make changes now. Being an isolated loner, mainly because of dressing, is not healthy . If it takes quitting, and becaoming a social , balanced human being, i will give it up. I have waited 59 years for a GF. Dressing is hurting me chances, with the little time i have left. I would rather have a real life nice lady, than the fake in the mirror. Just sharing.

[Barbra P]

Narcotics addiction is a chemical dependence while many researchers now believe that cross dressing is due to something in our physical makeup possible due to something that occurred prior to our birth. Regardless of what causes cross dressing, giving up cross dressing is not the same thing as getting clean after being addicted to drugs. Doctors have drugs and treatments to help break drug addiction, but medical science doesn’t have anything to help stop cross dressing. The people in your church that say you should stop cross dressing may mean well but they are totally ignorant about cross dressing.

After more than forty-years of cross dressing I believe you may find that quitting is going to be extremely difficult if not impossible. Over the years there are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of threads here attesting to how difficult it is to quit. People have resolved to quit (purge) and thrown out everything, but the urge to dress returns, sometimes in only a few weeks or months, sometimes years later – for me it was years. When that urge returns it often returns with a vengeance and denying the urge can have some serious consequences such as depression, and depression can become life threatening.

Based on your posts and the pictures you have posted cross dressing has been and is a major part of your life. Reading your recent posts it sounds like you may now be suffering from depression and any attempt to quit might lead to even a deeper state of depression. If you stop cross dressing today what other changes are you going to make so that you are not an isolated loner, what are your plans for getting out and meeting people and making friends? You generally need some common interest to make friends. What other interests do you have that lend themselves to social relationships? Many hobbies and sports are good ways to meet people; golf is played with other people, there are clubs for people interested in photography, model railroading, etc. How often do you dress, every day? If not there is nothing stopping you from going out and meeting people on those days that you don’t dress, or is the urge to dress so strong that you’d rather stay home as Alice rather than break the isolation and get out, meet people, and maybe make some friends?

I don’t have any idea what your financial status is or what your health insurance covers, but you might want to consider some counseling or therapy.

[Desirae]

I really don't understand why your Cding and social life has to be an all or nothing proposition? If you're just a CD, then odds are you're not dressed 24/7 anyway. I am just not of the belief that being a CD HAS to lead to isolation and loneliness. There's nothing stopping you, as far as I know, from joining a group (NON CD group) of some sort in your area and making some friends that way. Likewise you could take some classes in a community college and make friends like that. You could go to a nightclub to hear some music and meet others with your musical tastes. If you fish you could take yourself to some public fishing hole and odds are you will meet others there doing the same thing. Strike up a conversation. There's a host of things you could do. Why does CDing have to permeate all aspects of your life? Why can't it be a separate but still important part? I guess my assessment would be different if you were a transsexual, but it doesn't sound like it is that way.

It just seems to me that there is something else going on here and that blaming the CDing for all of your life's problems is just an easy excuse. I may be wrong. I just can contemplate CDing being the cause of all life's ills. As far as getting a GF, I agree that AFTER SOME TIME you should, indeed, tell her about your CDing. But, if you're meeting women and your opening line to them is that, "I'm a CD. Would you like to go out with me?", I would say that is a very bad approach.

Maybe I'm missing something else in your story. Please correct me if I am.

[bimini1]

December can be an extremely weird time. I don't know if the devil is mad it's Jesus birthday or what but something weird, usually negative will occur to me without fail. I had a chance to go out last weekend but opted not to for this very reason. I have often thought if I'm ever outed it will be inadvertently done by something like this in cyber space. Hit the wrong button, someone hacking into my photos and sending them out, etc.
Hang in there.

[Tina_gm]

By acting so desperate to dissociate yourself from this, you actually make it more obvious. I sometimes wonder if people on a sub conscious level out themselves.... but, in an event where you find yourself in this situation, I would have just rolled with it, put up a funny kind of thing..... ain't I a doll or something. Maybe even leave it up for a day or two.

[PaulaQ]

Being an isolated loner, mainly because of dressing, is not healthy . If it takes quitting, and becaoming a social , balanced human being, i will give it up. I have waited 59 years for a GF. Dressing is hurting me chances, with the little time i have left. I would rather have a real life nice lady, than the fake in the mirror. Just sharing.

Unfortunately, Alice, you are very unlikely to manage to quit CDing. Your main problems are:
1. You don't accept this about yourself, so you flagellate yourself emotionally over something you literally can't change.
2. You live in a narrow-minded hick town full of hateful people who don't understand this stuff.

I apologize for the bluntness of those statements - I say them with love.

There is no "treatment" of this in the same sense that there is treatment for narcotics. The treatment for CDing is acceptance of this part of yourself.