Great Outcome - (Mom now Knows)

[KaceyR]

Soo..
I ended up coming out about my CDing to my mom today.
Note: me-48 mom-74 yrs old.

Now, I halfway didn't think it would be much of a problem. For her times, she's kind of always been pragmatic and logical about a lot of things. I had thought about doing this sometime ago... But waited till my trip down here to Indiana to talk in person. (I just really didn't like to keep this in the dark, hiding anything from her). But I've seen the occasional bad 'coming out' reports and it was kind of building up some dread. Now my family is pretty much just her. Aside from a cousin or 2 that's it. (Good line of single parents/kids). And in a way that made it worse (in considering this). I had discussed with her over the phone what I tried to do with my Halloween outfit.. But never stretched it out that I'd continued CDing beyond.

I got here late Sun evening, spent a good time catching up on other stuff.. But didn't feel like springing it on her then (late and tired). Today (Mon) was busier till afternoon. And so I then brought it up as something I needed to tell her about..and did so.

Like I thought, she didn't really have much of an issue with it. (I love my mom:) )

Her only peeve was that my 38Cs were bigger than hers :D

So it ended up great, and I'm typing this in my moms house, now in my lady PJs with my feet up showing my red painted toenails all out w/o hiding :)
Tomorrow will be doing a bit of modeling...
Maybe by the time she comes up to Mich next, I'll have some out-and-about experience with Kacey and we'll get out together a bit then if she wants to. (Not going to girl it up visibly outside down here in Ind... Too small community in Plymouth and it would be a hassle).

I know this technically is an easier situation than others (coming out to a SO, or you're younger and still living w/parents). Plus since it's only Mom that's left and no Dad to deal with it's added ease. But I'm still glad I did it. I may be doing the same with a couple friends down the line who I think already suspect. But this was a main thing I wanted to get thru to feel a bit freer about it all.

[Katey888]

Kacey - congratulations and well done - you must feel like a massive weight has lifted. I'm not sure I could ever have told either of my parents (lost them both in the past 2 years) and then there's my wife... :bonk: But now you may find you have many more things to share with her...
Super story and outcome - may your progress continue :clap:
Kateyx

[Danielle Gee]

Kacey: What a nice story, I so glad you came out to your Mother. I always thought my mothers would love another Daughter, but alas I waited too long

Danielle

[Maria in heels]

Kacey...sounds like you had a great day, and have a wonderful mom

[MissTee]

Wonderful story. Thanks for sharing.

[Beverley Sims]

Kacey,
I think it is harder for you, it has been about fourty years for you, the younger ones only about twenty and they now have a better life than you probably endured.

[stephNE]

What a great story, I'm very happy for you!

[kimdl93]

I hope this adds another positive dimension to an already great relationship!

[Rhonda Darling]

Congratulations on it going so well.

I wish I had been able to tell my mom while she was still alive.

Rhonda

[Briana90802]

It must be nice to have parents that care about you.

[alexis61]

Good for you! I remember feeling like the weight of the world was lifted off my back when I told my mom. I was 35

[nervedisc]

I can't imagine how tough that might have been. Good for you!

[Miriam-J]

It's great to have an ally! Enjoy.

Miriam

[bridget thronton]

Glad things worked so well

[LaraPeterson]

I'm pretty sure my mom and dad would have disowned me, but I'm certainly glad you were able to do this. Having only recently shown my femme self to my wife, I can identify with getting it off your chest. Now maybe it will be easier for you to share yourself with others.

[Stephanie Julianna]

Your Mom is perfect. They are supposed to be the bearers of unconditional love and so rarely come through. In your case she is doing what all MOMs should do. You are very lucky to have her and she is equally lucky to have you. Somehow I think she already knows that. Lots Of Love, Steph.

[Marcelle]

Hi Kacey,

What a great story . . . congrats.

Hugs

Isha

[Sabrina133]

Kacey,

Congratulations. Telling parents can be the hardest to do. My experience with my Mom was somewhat similar. Dad wasn't so easy or accepting. When i did tell them, Mom told me she knew it. How i asked? A mothers instinct i guess.

Hugs
Bree

[KaceyR]

Well, thanks for the wishes all. Been busy to do a lot of forum-ing and just got back home (and actually am now at work again already...bleh). Yeah she's a pretty cool Mom I have to say :)

Was talking a bit... The grandparents (her parents) would probably not have been as 'kindly' with it, being pretty rigid in thought. Not strongly bigoted, just pretty this way or no way thought. Gets you thinking of an Archie Bunker but w/o the heavy racial side. Very classic no variations black-white thought.

Mom though was more independent wanting to get away for that. Lived in South Bend and dealt with their '60s times of the racial unrest but got along with everyone. Really smart in recognizing the 'people' behind everything instead of focusing on race or any 'oddities'.
Even later when back at her hometown, she had exposure to I guess 'gay' version of people when she worked in a plant's office with a gay coworker guy. No problems there either. (Didn't know about that till this talk).

So I'd have to say yes she is the perfect mom to be able to talk about more 'alternative' lifestyles :)
And she used to be a SA for JCPenneys... In the shoe dept. and women's clothing areas too.
yeah got into good talks on that :)

Makes me kind of wish I'd not waited to explore my CD side as late as I did..
... If anything I could have got some cool deals :D
But better late than never I guess :)

Now off topic, but just wishing that all had a good Christmas and a good New Years coming up!

[Bree Wagner]

Kacey,

I'll just add another note of thanks for sharing your story. The good news items are always fun to read. Congrats on everything going so well!

-Bree

[Donna Jean GA]

What a wonderful story. I'd like to be able to do that one day also. My mom is 76 and I would hate to cause cardiac arrest.....:). I have no idea how she would react though. Congrats to you.

Donna Jean

[KaceyR]

Yeah I guess it's kind of a personal judgement call on the person's shock and tolerance factor
(whether it's parent or friend). My mom is 74, and no health issues besides arthritis and a breast cancer survivor so she's a tough bird :). But I just kind of thought she wouldn't have
as much of an issue and she hasn't had any so far. In later calls to her since the Christmastime,
we've done a little bit chatting on fem stuff without issue. She's not doing a "going crazy over
the daughter she never had" thing, but just is understanding and helpful with it all.
That's been a great relief.

It's nice to be able to expand Kacey's world outside this apartment :)

I didn't put it into a new thread, but did mention it in another thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?207054-How-to-tell-a-lifelong-friend&p=3396167&viewfull=1#post3396167) that I've also
since came out to 2 best friends as well now. (2 more left to go :) )
Like I thought, more recently they figured something was up. At some time (unsure when exactly) while they were chatting with mom (and I wasn't around) they'd apparently even wondered if I apparently was gay and turned to look/ask to Mom if I was.. heh. Would have had to have been before I really started CDing fully though. Mom never told me this till after I mentioned to her that I'd told them about CDing. Well, when they never see me going out on dates, or socializing much I can see them wondering. Always had issues with shyness,communicating,etc (except for forums I guess :) ) so I've just stayed solo. I was Best Man to the one friend, and his wife had a cousin as MoH (cute one too) and they all thought we looked great together (reception dancing). But I'm socially inept so nothing further developed. The gay Q might have developed from that. She's now in AZ..missed opportunity I guess.

But it's funny how things happen all around :)

I think there still is that side thought about CDing and equating to sexual orientation. Dunno. I pretty much state things outright on what it is, and don't press or lecture too much unless they really want to pursue further information.

My other friend is already a very tolerant parent of a gay son that's just a few years younger than me. I would've told both of them the same time talking to the first 2.. but they weren't around. But that's why I'm not thinking he'll be any issue either.

Those are the main ones I actively friend with. So figured I wanted to make them aware. Others would stem from work..and didn't really think I'd involve them. These 4 would probably be the main ones that would chance to come by the apartment, or I'd see more in different times. So if I'm Kacey'ing it up here, and they stop by it's no big panic.

[Billiejosehine]

Kacey I enjoyed your post it's an amazing thing when a parent is accepting of who you are.

[Claire Cook]

Wow, yes, what a wonderful story. It sounds like you and your mom have a lot of catching up and sharing to do! I just wish i could have talked to my mother about it (she passed away 12 year ago). I'm sure that she knew that I got into her closet, but we could never bring ourselves to talk about it. She always wanted a daughter, but I never thought she'd understand. It's so great that your mom is understanding.

[steeve]

Im glad it all worked out for you , hugs x