Girlfriend's Family

[Melissa.Lynn88]

Over the last few weeks I've been starting to come out to people about being trans and that I am transitioning. At the moment the people who I've told are my parents and everyone in my department at work. Now I've gotten to the point where I think it's time I need to tell my girlfriend's family. I'm really nervous about this, especially since my girlfriend is not happy about me transitioning. Even though she is not happy about this we both still love each other and want to try and stay together, so telling her family is going to have to happen. For anyone who has come out to their SO's family could you let me know how it went for you and give me any advice you may have on how to approach this?

Thanks!

[lingerieLiz]

Biggest question is how does she feel about you coming out to her family. If she doesn't want you too you need to not do it.

[mbmeen12]

Merry Christmas to you Melissa,
Over the last few weeks I've been starting to come out to people about being trans and that I am transitioning.

One gurl wrote not so long ago, when transitioning except the worst and hope for the best. The sacrifice is amazing with GID and do they need to know right now? Maybe your girl friend can tell them as an ice breaker or not? How did work deal with you i.e. did you start in /with human resources? More important you state your girl friend is not happy with you in transitioning which leads me to think is she as we say at work "all in" i.e. for sickness and health mantra?

Please keep us informed and have a great New Years in your journey...//Kara//

[Ceri Anne]

It's her family, so she should be the guide. I agree with mbmeem, I would work on your relationship with her for a time first. It will be very beneficial for both of you, once she accepts and is all in.

[mary something]

I agree with the previous posters. That is how we (my SO and I) handled it. I felt that if she wasn't "there" yet her family probably wouldn't be either, all families are different though.

[kimdl93]

I'd be careful to include your gf in any discussion of transition with her family.

[Melissa.Lynn88]

I agree with everyone's thoughts that it would be easier to have this conversation with them if she was more accepting of all this. I know it's her family and she should have a say in when I come out to them and that is why I haven't yet. This probably can be put off for a little while still, but having the conversation is inevitable if we are to stay together. I've been on HRT for about 3 months at this point and my concern is getting to the point where I can't hide whats going on anymore. Part of me feels like that would be harder to have happen then just being up front with them.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

its your call..

Its a big risk to tell them. She is not your wife...you are not engaged (I assume).... your body has not changed enough to make it impossible to lay low...

This is especially true if your girlfriend doesn't want you to transition...I don't believe her parents will support your transition when she is not thrilled with it...they may fear for her happiness...that is very common in our families
there is no good reason to tell them other than both you and your girlfriend wanting too...that's a pretty good reason, but you should consider the possibilities

[TeresaL]

Be vey careful, or be willing to give up everything. You are living in a much less restricted society than it was 20 years ago, but there are still plenty of people in this world who do not accept anything but binary gender. Male and female only, and settled in their minds by our at-birth genitals. It's a mind field. ER, I mean minefield. Beware of advancing your relationship too far without knowing where those mines are.

------
Added. "For anyone who has come out to their SO's family could you let me know how it went for you ...
It sucks. Details are not for the weak at heart.

... And, "give me any advice you may have on how to approach this?"
A transitioning MtF and new GG friend? My heart goes out to you, and I'm on verge of tears as I think about the possible heart break. Good luck if you are one of the few. Most marriages can't withstand it.

[Starling]

Good luck with this, Melissa. Love relationships can blow up over much less than transition. My SO has said she will leave me if I transition, and I have spent the last year praying she would relent. She didn't know I was already on HRT and getting electrolysis, or she would have kicked me out on the spot. You may still lose your girlfriend in the end, but don't be in a hurry to create a showdown.

:) Lallie

[Rogina B]

Like others have said..save the drama till later..things often change. Making kids aren't in YOUR plans and not sure if they are in your girlfriends or her parent's definition of "Happy couple" as well. It is unrealistic to think that you will get the support that you seek from bringing her parents into it as well. Just my view of it..

[Marleena]

Melissa I see a recipe for disaster here. If your GF is not happy with this revelation her family certainly won't be since they want her happy. The majority of (TS) women that are compromising with their SO's on this board are struggling (myself included). You need to get acceptance from your SO first, or......

Best of luck with it.

[Michelle.M]

Hmmm, let's see . . .

Your girlfriend is not OK with your transition. You've only been on HRT 3 months, so you probably don't have any body changes noticeable to anyone except you. She's your girlfriend (not fiancee) and, as you say, you want to try and stay together (in other words, as a couple you're dealing with a big relationship challenge), and with all of this now you want to spring this on her family.

I don't see this ending well unless the GF is 100% on board. If the parents don't accept your transition that will be the thing that causes her to end the relationship.