No --- Go---

[STACY B]

Ya ever watch those Youtube videos an always see the pretty young chix that transition ? They all look SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD & PRETTY !

You never hear about no one on there that didn't make the transition so smoothly . or even here ,, At least I havent ever heard it here ,, I always seen them going full bore an if they made it most of the time they leave ,, Or if they went full bore an DIDN'T make it they really left never to return .

Well lady's your talking to one of the ones that went the distance an ran as hard as I could an jumped as far as I could an guess what ?? I MISSED !! Yep missed ,, Got the gender letter ,, Went to all the doctors ,, Did everything that I was supposed to do as far as the endo ,, Got the meds ,, Took them for a few months an BAM !!

Shut it all down ,,,, Yep down ,, Wife was behind me all the way ,, Did all the going out and all the stuff that everyone is so scared of ,, Shopping ,, Nail salon ,, Makeup counters ,, Girl clothes ,, Went in drab ,, Laser hair removal ,, Grew my hair out ,, Wax eye brows ,, Nails done ,, Makeup match ,, Shoe shopping ,, Family knew went where ever when ever I wanted ,, But the meds just didn't like ME ,, I guess ?

Just took the wind outta me ,, Lazy ,,Tired all the time ,,Gaining weight ,, No energy at all ,, Lost the will to do any thing ,, One day I just said that's enough an stopped .
But I just wanted all of you to know that I gave it my best an it wasn't enough ,, So don't be afraid to go for it an don't let know one stop you on your journey .

I just wanted you to know that if it don't work out you can just stop ,, The meds an just go back to what you were before ,, I am not ashamed at all for following my dream . It just wasn't in the cards for me I guess ? But I am still here an will be .

I have made wayyyyyyyyy to many friends to leave here ,, Anyway I love to look at all the new outfits an progress of the other girls . Some of you might need my support ,,Because I think I have earned the right to comment on alot of things that happen to us . Justt wanted everyone to know there is one that jumped an missed ,,,lol,,, :doh: :doh: :D

[Robinkay]

Thank's for your post……..

[Badtranny]

That's what courage looks like kids.

Not the typical half assed schmaltz that tries to pass for courage around here. Stacy gave it hell and was honest all the way to the end and she's STILL being honest.

No excuses, no half truths, no BS. Just the honest facts about her experience.

[STACY B]

Thanks Melisa ,, Maybe I can stay an be a Cheerleader ? OHHHHHHHH,, La,,,La ,, I sure love the sound of that ,,That's what I will do ,, Just cheer for all the rest ,, Like an old cheerleader that is now the cheerleader coach !! lol,,,, Hey I kept my HAIR ,,, Might need it when I go out from time to time ,, I am not going to say I am out of the game all the way ,,, NEVER will that happen ,, But I got the teen age years behind me an am smarter an wiser about how to present an what not to wear an how not to act . Believe it or not all girls have to go back through puberty in girl mode ,, We never went through it ,, Only as a boy ,, So I have learned alot through my journey here an there ,, I won't look like a hoochy if I am out ,,lol,,, Still got my skills ,,lol,,,

[Rianna Humble]

Stacy, thank you for your honesty. It's true we don't often hear from those for whom it didn't work out. I'm really sorry that this happened for you, but at least you have the support of your family, and you have your friends here.

I would be disappointed if you didn't visit us from time to time at least.

[mbmeen12]

Hello my dear friend it was wise to stop. Health is important xoxo Kara

[Marleena]

Well Stacy you gave it your best shot and it wasn't for you. I'm not sure whether to say sorry or congratulate you though. You seem fine with your situation and if you can control the GD without transition you are one of the lucky ones. I find it more scary when I see people rushing to get SRS when it's obvious they have other issues they need taking care of first.

I hear you about the young chicks, I think of my missed opportunity *sigh*. You're right, we only see the successes and I won't be one of them either. I've probably gone as far as I can take it based on my own circumstances. It could end up being a blessing in disguise at my age. I am envious of those ladies that manage to make new lives for themselves but we tend to forget that everybody has different situations to deal with.

If I ever leave it's because I'm stuck kind of in nowhereland and have nothing much to offer anymore. I'm feeling kind of burntout anyways...still on the outside looking in.

[Rachel Smith]

Stacy thanks for your honesty. Thank you also for sticking around as this forum could use more people like you. You have an experience that can lend valuable information and support to others here and that is what this forum is about. Sharing our experiences good or bad.

Hugs
Rachel

[TeresaL]

Stacy, I've had a good chuckle with a lot of your posts, and have really enjoyed your sense of humor. This post though is a different side of you, the serious side, more or less. And yes, I get it. You are doing what you need to do, and not putting on a facade. That's dang refreshing compared to the "your not trans enough" banter.

If you can turn away from this crap, then do it. If getting off of this link helps you, then run Stacy, RUN.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

The thing about the "you are not trans enough" banter is that taking HRT is a pretty big deal...
and I agree that saying you are not trans enough for it is silly...no one can say what another person is or isn't..it's not a competition..

but it must be said if you are not transsexual, you are not gonna like HRT because its real...it exposes the fantasy part and replaces it with the real part..

[mary something]

fantasy and real are two words that are completely dependent upon other people's perceptions to even have meaning. I find value when acting in a manner that gives the best life at this moment and my best prediction of future needs in the circumstances that I'm living. There is no competition and there are no other rewards than a life of less regret irregardless of your choices. Being mentally flexible enough to manage your life well is the goal, at least for me.

[TeresaL]

Stacy, that you seem to have found comfort without HT is good news indeed. Now you have more free time to do other things. Let me know if you want to plow driveways. LOL

[Starling]

...if you are not transsexual, you are not gonna like HRT because its real...it exposes the fantasy part and replaces it with the real part..

Unlike Stacy, I took to HRT like a fish to water, feeling calmer and more centered than I could remember ever being; but then in pre-surgical tests I discovered I had cardiovascular problems that could, unhappily, make HRT quite dangerous for me. I'm working on improving that now, but there may never be a time when HRT is safe enough--i.e., will allow me a few more strong years to work to provide for the one who depends on me, and believed my promises, even if she can't accept me.

So I'm biding my time, but not giving up. Who knows what the future may bring? In a way I envy Stacy, for despite her disappointment she has a clarity she can live with. But truth be told, I don't really envy anyone of us who have been "gifted" with GID.

God bless the heroes who have transitioned successfully, but bless even harder the winners who don't judge the also-rans.

:) Lallie

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I see where you are coming from lallie

... I commented because I always think about the idea that many of us (me and Stacy included) have fantasies about what it will be like and what we want our transition to be...and they are pretty darn unattainable....and they are not helpful, especially if you have health or money issues that don't let you transition...those issues are real...

I agree that anybody who has to deal with this and improves their quality of life BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY is a winner..
Stacy is clearly a winner in my book...and so are you.

[JAS]

"if you can control the GD without transition you are one of the lucky ones. I find it more scary when I see people rushing to get SRS when it's obvious they have other issues they need taking care of first"

Truer words were never spoken. In this case, the SOC's worked. As noted above, if the individual is not a high intensity TS , the hormones serve as a reality check, providing a glimpse into what happens when a man tries to become a woman. In the end I have nothing but te highest admiration and praise for Stacy for managing to stay focused on the very serious reality that is our life.

[Barbara Ella]

Stacy girl, so good to read something again. Yes, for certain, what anyone can or can't do in no way defines what they are or are not. The whole purpose of going through all of this is to make sure one has found out where they are going to fit most comfortably, and find peace within themselves.

Find your spot and go camping there.

Hugs, Barbara