Libido (girls on HRT only)

[I Am Paula]

Before starting HRT I knew well that the drastic drop in Testosterone would effect my libido, and erections (to those...good riddance). I am also in a sex free marriage (both of our choices).
My concern is not a drop in libido, but now, a complete lack thereof. Things that used to titillate...nada. I'm talking about the mental aspect, I don't care about the physical. Just NOTHING sets my heart aglow.
I'm in no hurry to enter into a sexual relationship, so at this point it's not THAT important, but I sometimes wonder if anybody is ever going to get my motor running again, or has HRT meant an end to that?
I used to be attracted to women physically, and men, sexually. Right now I don't think the offer of a threesome with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would make me stop watching television.
Am I alone in this? My T is in normal female range, and my endo just sorta shrugs, and says it may normalize. This is by no means critical to me, but sometimes I think that I may someday meet someone, and I hope the spark sparks.
Thoughts, experiences girls?

[Janice Ashton]

Hi Paula

You are not alone, I also have no action downstairs and little thought on the subject either, all I have so far from HRT is tender breasts that appear to be growing? However, it is early days so I will be interested to see what develops in the future sexually and bodily?

[BOBBI G.]

Me as well. I did have a little help from the radiation used during my prostate treatments, but I have absolutely nothing. Would like a companion in my life to talk with and be good friends, but that is about all.

Bobbi

[tori-e]

Gross to say, but "it" was still operational one week before surgery and after almost three years of HRT. But greatly reduced in size.

Moving away from a testosterone fueled libido (men really do think about sex every 5 minutes) to female levels is typical for transwomen HRT. In my experience, most women find it easy to forget about sex for long periods of time. If you want to boost your libido, talk to your doctor about progesterone. It may help.

Victoria

[Kimberly Kael]

My experience is similar to Victoria's in that the overwhelming need is gone, but the ability to desire and act on that desire is intact. I can go without, or indulge, which is a nice place to be.

[TeresaL]

Same here. Physical desire for me, was accepted more so than loss of mental desire. Both mental and physical arousal is gone. I'm 66, retired, home alone, and have been on HT for a year, without libido. I was Hetero, and women excited me before hormones. Men did not. Neither gender now excites me. Clothing doesn't excite me. If I'm not going out, I'm ok with T's sweats, or jammys and no makeup. Only when I'm sickened by the male looking back, do I change when home alone.

Yet, that being said, my internal gender is female. I want to be my true self, and therefore display it with female attire. But both physical and mental sexual desire is gone. Age may be an added factor.

[Angela Campbell]

For me there is no desire for sex in any form. With the right person I would be interested in some quality cuddling maybe, but a relationship is out of the question.

Does "it" still work? I don't know and I don't care. Not going to find out. Hasn't done anything on its own in a long time.

[mary something]

The urgency is gone but the fun remains, much better this way

[hannahbear]

i'm attracted to women, not men, but I do not get aroused anymore when I see a beautiful woman. It's no longer a sight issue.

But if I get involved into a deep intellectual discussion with an attractive woman, that's an entirely different story. so intellect, attraction and emotional connection are what gets me aroused. rare and infrequent too. It did happen Christmas eve, but she has a girlfriend already. :( sigh....my life, my luck.

[PaulaQ]

My libido is, unfortunately, alive and well. I have absolutely nothing to DO with my libido, so it's just sort of there, annoying me. For what it's worth, I take both estrogen and progesterone. It's driving me friggin crazy, because until I have SRS, stuff down there is just not right.

[Shapeshiffter]

Hi all. 3 years on HRT and an Orchi last May. Everything still works!!! Not real happy about it. Would rather be celibate than function as male. Hopefully GRS next year. 2014

[JamieLeigh]

I get so confused about whether we are talking Pre-Op or Post-OP. libido or erection. Spironolactone is a generic drug it is also prescribed for heart patients with CHF in heart patient( side effects causes erectile dysfunction, loss of libido, general feminization. Spironolactone which is indeed called Spiro in slang is used by endocrinologists as an anti-androgen and prescribed to transsexual MtF patients.

I had a Bilateral orchiectomy in 2009 a removal of the both testicles. SRS was done in November 2010. My sexual desire is just as good as it ever was (I love men.) Love having intercourse as a woman. When I was still stuck with male genitals I dated masculine tops. I can honestly say neither my surgeries nor my HRT regimen has changed my libido or desire.

[Leah Lynn]

Libido is alive and well, still in hetero mode. Erections are a thing of the past, however it will still fire. I can observe a good looking woman and have a desire to have sex, but it's as two women. And I think about sex much more often than every five minutes.

There really is nothing normal about me.

Leah

[Janelle_C]

Hi Paula
I've been on HRT for seven months now and I thought I lost the desire all together. So I ask my therapist, I said I know I was told that my sex drive would go way down and it has. But it does seems not to mater to me any more. So I asked don't women get horny, she said you've heard men are more visual and women are more romantic..... She said if you get into it you should be able to finish. I had also been putting the thought of intimacy with my wife because one, I didn't know if it still worked and number two now that I have small b cups I was afraid she would be put off by me. So I went home and talked about it with my wife, and once we got started, the fire was very much still there and everything still works. It was still very different I wasn't horny before hand like I would have been in the past but once I started I got hornier than I was ever before.

[CharleneT]

Sex drive .... it doesn't necessarily go away. When a MTF goes on HRT that person needs to understand a LOT is going to change. Most concentrate on boobies... everyone wants to grow a pair, right ? The most important changes are those mental ones. This will become more obvious as time passes. In many ways, the first changes are mental and the sex drive can be part of that. HRT does not always kill off erectal function. But your brain might do that. At first, after a couple of months of HRT, an erection can actually be painful.

Here's the important trick though: you want to try and maintain the ability to have an orgasm. The nature of that orgasm will change as the HRT effects take hold - but "keep trying". Why ? Because, and most of the SRS surgeons will agree here, the ability to have an orgasm after SRS is related to the ability to have one prior. In simpler terms, use it or lose it. This is one of the things few want to talk about, and there is a LOT of variation in how it works out, but the fact is that you should not ignore sexual responses during transition if you want to have them after surgeries. It is VERY likely that you will want this after surgery -- trust me here please.....

CAT

[Rachel Smith]

Paula you are about the same as me. I actually had a discussion with my therapist and my endo about this. I have been on HRT and Spiro since starting my transition in May of 2013. Like you I also have no mental desire for sex. My therapist and endo both ask if this bothers me. To which I replied it doesn't REALLY bother me but it is a different life. My endo said we could cut back on the Spiro if I wanted, I declined. Everything is still functional but "O's" are dry and not nearly as intense.

I made a post here a while back that I went from being bi-sexual to being non-sexual.

As Angela said cuddling is great but as far as sex I could care less, then again I have always enjoyed snuggling and cuddling.

[I Am Paula]

Rachel- Sounds just like me. At this point having no desire is not a handicap. My endo also offered to cut back, and that was not the point. I'm just thinking about down the road. WILL I ever have a desire?

JamieLiegh- I've even thought of just going out and meeting a guy, (a top), just to check for physical passion, but a booty call as an experiment just doesn't seem right either.

To those who asked/commented about it. Thank you. I am so happy with the loss of spontanious erections. What a way to ruin a perfectly good morning. I did try, as more of a curiousity, to see if 'it' still worked. It did, but I felt very bad about it. Won't try that again.

It sounds to me like libido bottoming out seems to be a common thread. To some it seems worrisome, and to others welcome. At least I know I'm not alone in this, so thanks for the responses. For right now I will let sleeping dogs lie, and if in the future I miss it, then I will take steps to fix it. Sex is already a distant memory, so there's no hurry.

[hannahbear]

Paula,

I find my arousal now comes from intense intellectual conversations and intellectual attraction as well as deep emotional connections. whereas before, if I saw a beautiful woman, I was instantly turned on.

estrogen and lack of testosterone change your mentality and views towards sex. I used to have erections at least 5-6 times a day and think about sex 24/7/365. Now I hardly think about it all, and rarely get aroused, unless the intellectual and emotional aspect are intense. then my motor runs. :)

[StephanieC]

Well, I kinda consider myself fairly neuter as it comes to sex. But that situation happened in my relationship before I even started on HRT. And after I started on this journey, I kinda got embarrassed if that plumbing suddenly engaged. Now, the spigot is dry and I have no worry of embarrassment.

Someone mentioned a mental attitude. I think that is a good comment. I don't want those parts to react and so they dont. I don't know what would happen if I was in a situation where I was open to something. At the moment, I have enough with the mental aspects...I don't need the additional complication of the sexual. I do seek to show affection in other ways.

There are SOOOO many things that come up in transition....from little to big. At the moment, this is not high on my priority list.

-stephani

[silverfurret]

I seem to have the uncommon response to hrt. I remember my endo telling me my drive would go down, which I said I was totally fine with; mostly because my drive felt too high and compulsory to begin with. Well, I started to feel my drive go down… till I felt my first orgasm, then my drive shot all the way through the roof. I feel that my drive has gotten higher and that sexual pleasure has become a legitimate desire rather than something I feel compelled to do. I'm very happy about the way that my drive has changed

[DebbieL]

It's different! I don't worry so much about the erection (nearly non-existent) and am happy that there is no ejaculation (no semen being produced). I've never been very big even in my early twenties, and even before HRT my T levels were low and erections were small. I need to use different stimulation now, and it takes much longer, which I really like (it always ended too fast as Rex). There are many things I enjoy today that I wouldn't have considered before.

I've been attracted to women because men were very brutal to me when I was growing up. Only now that I'm living 24/7 as female that I have been able to experience the nicer side of men, like having them hold the doors for me, or help me with a bag. I've always been attracted to aggressive women, who told me I was going out with them and told me I was going to bed with them. As one former girl-friend put it "I had to put down the baseball bat and use a tire iron".

I really enjoy giving pleasure to my partner, and she knows nice ways to please me, by seducing me like I was a woman. The forum moderators get a bit touchy if I get to explicit, but it's sufficient to say that there are plenty of ways to enjoy a really enjoyable and exciting sex life after HRT. It just doesn't include intercourse/vaginal sex.

I knew I was small all along. The boys used to make fun of it, and I even had a cute little song about it to the tune of "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polkadot Bikini" which I would sometimes sing to a girl to warn her.

The flip side is that desire is much more under my control now. Most of arousal is between the ears. It used to be that I would see a woman in a beautiful outfit and I would want to be seduced by the woman in the outfit, wear the outfit, and be the woman wearing the outfit - all at the same time. Sometimes it led to awkward moments, especially in my teens and early twenties.

Today, I still want to wear the outfit, and look as good as she does in it, but I would need her to be much more aggressive than before. Actually, since I'm married to a wonderful lady, who loves Debbie, I wouldn't be interested in any offers other than from her.

I can still enjoy a great fantasy and enjoy a good story. However, I find stories more interesting and even pictures need an element of "drama" - two people naked on the bed doesn't do much for me, but a picture of someone wearing something really sexy, that I'd like to be wearing, and a hint of possible me getting tied up or other kinky games to come can get things started for me if I really want to get started.

[DeeDee1974]

Libido is definitely down. I think about sex about once a day instead of once an hour. Also, I prefer to read erotica instead of visually seeing what turns me on. Also, I had thought that I could no longer get an erection for a while. I met my hetero boyfriend and he was a bit concerned about my plumbing, but became more comfortable when I said it doesn't work. Low and behold the first time we were naked together I was so turned on it popped right up and always does when we are intimate. But that us the only time it does. No more spontaneous erections.

[JohnH]

I still have the desires and the ability of a heterosexual male. I do not ever see myself getting intimate with a man. I do not see myself as ever getting M2F SRS.

I wish my wife was up for sexual intercourse. She has health issues so she is not interested in sex.

I am still able to get erections with "Rosie palm and her five sisters" but the real thing would be much better. The semen levels are much less with the M2F HRT than before.

However, I do not think about sex every five minutes, which is a relief for me and my wife. I started HRT with Estrogel Sept. 2011, and then I went to injectable in Sept. 2012. I went legit when I got prescriptions with my endocrinologist in July 2013.

Johanna