Finally and it was no big deal

[Robin-in-TX]

I've been married for 16 years and have kept my panty wearing completely hidden. It has been off and on but more on in the last 2 years. We recently went through a rough patch and are coming out the other side.

Amongst others, one of the unspoken issues is that I have is that I'm not being who I am. I've had the desire to wear panties for as far back as my memory goes and it is not going to go away. It is part of who I am.

So, there we were lying in bed talking and something about secrets came up and I told her I had been keeping one our entire marriage and that it could not go on. I am who I am and she has to accept it or reject it but rejecting it would be rejecting me. Then I told her flat out. I reminded her that I have always been this way, this is the guy she fell in love with and married.

She could not have been more supporting and accepting. She said if that is the worst secret that I had then we are in good shape. She was sorry that I felt I had to keep it secret for so long and knew it had to have been a real burden hiding it.

I had purged recently and only had a couple of pairs still. She wanted to see what I wore and in the morning, went to the store and bought me 9 pair. She said if she buys them then she gets to pick the color. She said she is okay with pink but would not buy it as she does not wear it herself. She did ask that I not wear flowery ones around her.

I mentioned a style I would like to try, Warners no-wedgies no worries and she bought me 3 pair of them, along with the Olga and Bali that I normally get. She said no more tossing them out as that gets expensive. Then we stood there chatting as I folded up my new panties and put them away. I then wore them for the first time around her and it was not weird or uncomfortable at all. We even made love while be both were wearing them.

With what we went through, this was not the major thing it could have been. Since we almost lost our marriage, I think it gave us perspective on what is important and what is not. I was at the point that either she wants to be with me or she does not. This is part of me. I'm 51, tried to change it many times but it is not going to. Who needs the stress of hiding it?

Anyway, I thought I would share my news. I read often but don't post often as I haven't had anything new to talk about.

What a relief.

[Katey888]

Well, Brookes, I think that's significant and well worth waiting for. You're courageous and lucky and this must be a super development for you and your wife. I wish I had the courage to do what you've done but then everyone's situation is different.
So, Congratulations! :cheer: You are starting 2014 on a real high... lovely to read about it.
Katey x

[KristyE]

Good for you sweetie, acceptance is all we want and your very lucky.
Love KristyE

[Ellie52]

Well done. Sometimes we have to believe in our loved ones. They are more acceptingthan we know..Best wishes for the future.Ellie

[Maria in heels]

Wonderful news Brookes....I'm sure that a lot of the pressure that you have felt all these years from hiding your secret is relieved and congratulations on your newfound freedom

[Irena]

Hi Bookes,
What a wonderful story and very brave to that you told her. It must feel so nice to finally be able to be yourself. Enjoy your freedom.
With Love, Irena

[Marcelle]

Hi Brookes,

Thanks very much for sharing such a wonderful story. I can only imagine the weight lifted off your shoulders and what a treasure to have such a supportive wife. Now you can get on with being who you are and you and your wife can continue your wonderful journey of life together.

Hugs

Isha

[kimdl93]

That's a wonderful outcome. I commend you for your candor and your wife for her reasonable and accepting attitude.

[Jamie Lynn]

Way to go, Brookes! Glad it turned out so well! We love good news!!

[EllenJo]

Congratulations Brookes. I am sure that it is a heavy weight off of your shoulders. My wife and I have a similar story of starting with underdresssing. She bought me many pairs of panties and always bought herself a matching pair. When we would get dressed for work in the morning she would lay out a pair for me that matched hers. It was kind of our little secret each day. She even jokingly said that she never had to worry about me cheating on her because what man would undress in front of a lover wearing panties. I had never thought of that but she was probably right. 20 years later I dress however I wish and she is fine with it.
You are a lucky man to have a supportive wife as many of us are. Cherish her.
Hugs
Ellen Jo

[UNDERDRESSER]

Yay! Brookes! Wonderful response from your wife, if you talk about this forum with her, tell her from me she's a diamond!

You will find that this is a somewhat subtle thing, and at the same time, a watershed event. Being yourself around her and being able to talk about it is probably going to be a trigger for you to think about, and probably talk about, a LOT of subjects. Your viewpoint may change. You may consider, many possibilities, this is natural, but don't just experiment carelessly.You may want to explain that to your wife, but given she is being so level headed about it, she may already understand this. (women are generally better at this sort of thing)

Beware the pink fog, warn her about that as well, and have her pull you up if she thinks you need it.

[Beverley Sims]

Brooke,
Good to hear, tread carefully and the repair process should kick in.
You seem to be doing well after that little talk.

[Stephanie47]

Happy to hear your wife does not view wearing panties with distain. Sometimes keeping a secret and not being able to express oneself freely makes other issues in a marriage become more significant. What I mean is rather than talking about wearing panties, the couple ends up arguing about finances or the kids. I guess many women would just freak out about their husband wearing panties, but, they are nothing more than undergarments with a different style, especially if all you wear are white, black or solid colors. To me a guy wearing a panty is nothing more than a fetish, and, women should not go nuts about it.

With Valentine's Day coming up maybe she'll get you some pretty panties in pink and/or red.

[vallerie lacy]

So glad to hear your happy story. Your wife is a doll. Nothing better than having your wife buy new panties for you, except maybe, wearing them in front of her. Like the rest of us found out, the Pink Fog won't go away. Guess we'll have to force ourselves to enjoy it.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

That's a beautiful story! After all those years of marriage you revealed a part of yourself which is, in fact harmless, and not something worse like cheating on her or being involved in any kind of criminal activity or squandering the bank account for frivilous pleasures. That's right---It could be worse for a spouse! That's what baffles me. Some times a wife can live with a husband who has extremely bad habits but yet cannot accept that the mere act of dressing or underdressing is so disdainful.

I wish you much happiness now that the burden is lifted, and that you and your wife can have some fun with a mutually shared secret! You never know where this could lead! <wink!)

Cheryl

[Valarie]

What a great uplifting story :) I came out to my wife about the desire to wear panties and she was very supportive as well, and said she wanted me to be happy. Sometimes we build up the worst case scenario in our heads and when it turns out that it was no big deal all that worry was pointless.

[Dana M]

Brookes,

Glad to hear things went well. Just take it one step at a time. Wish you a Happy New Year.

[Gillian Gigs]

She could not have been more supporting and accepting. She said if that is the worst secret that I had then we are in good shape.

That was similar to the experience between my wife and I. There has been more than once that I have heard her say, "it's only clothes". Too bad the world couldn't be that understanding!

[Robin-in-TX]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement and well wishes. She is a doll. I think many of us get to the point where we just have to be ourselves. I would not continue hiding apart of myself from the person with whom I am supposed to have the closest relationship you can ever have with another human being.

If she could not accept it, then she would not be accepting me and there would be no reason to stay together. It is and is not just under ware. Certainly they are no more than undergarments but if I cannot give them up, then they are more than just undergarments as they relate to me. So, I'm fortunate that my wife sees it the same way.

I do love her. Happy New Year everyone. If anything changes, I'll post back here.

[Gretchen_To_Be]

Brookes: Great news, and a great start to the new year. I'm very happy for you and feel the same way--I love my wife and couldn't bear the thought of hiding this part of me with her any longer. As you say, if you can't share something so integral to your being with the person closest to you, then your relationship probable isn't as close as you think. I had all the same fears but in the end it was wonderful.

Best of luck going forward!

[MsVal]

My take away from that story is that a couple of people that once loved each other enough to get married had a problem that nearly ended their marriage. They were able and most of all, willing to find a way to get back to where they once were. That's quite an accomplishment on both parts. Congratulations. Those events reset their understanding of what constitutes a "real" problem. The admission of crossdressing was seen in a new light, one that can truthfully say that is isn't all that bad. I wish you both much happiness in the future.

[Alice B]

Well you got to the bottom of the issue and all is well.good job.