Living as a Female

[Elizabeth]

Hi girls,

I was just wondering what percentage of the time that our membership lives as a female. I find this particularly interesting in this particular group, who identify as transsexual.

I was thinking answers could be something like:

25% or less
26%-35%
36%-50%
51%-60%
61%-70%
71%-80%
81%-90%
91%-95%
96%-99%
100%

Now I just want to make it clear I am not looking for what you would like to do. I am interested in what you are doing right now. The actual percentage of the time you are living your life as a female.

The following section was part of this original post. I am leaving it just for reference, however, after further consideration from other posters in thread I have decided to revise this clarification which shall follow the original.

Just for clarification, underdressing does not count. Wearing a night gown to bed does count. Any time you are actually living your life as a female counts. If your are out dressed, but have a mustache or beard, that does not count. Get the idea?

Just for clarification, underdressing does not count. Wearing a night gown to bed does count. Any time you are actually living your life as your target gender, as defined by yourself, counts.

Thanks in advance, and there is no right answer, and I personally don't consider a lower percentage to mean one is not a "true transsexual". I am more concerned in learning about how many have transitioned thier life to live more they way they would like to, and how they did it.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Kim E]

Very interesting thread, Elizabeth.
I started living as a female in October 2004. The percentage of the time varied, but I would guess in the 81-90 % range. The reason for this was I needed to resolve a couple important personal issues. Shortly after joining this forum in Oct of 2005, I got rid of the last of my male clothing and have been living as a female 100 % of the time. This had been a goal of mine for many years and an accomplishment I'm very proud of.

Kim

[lydia7]

Congratulations Kim!!! ;) I have been 100% for nearly 9 years now...I am post-op of course, but still 2.5 years before that. Thinking back...even 10% is brave in my book.

One life to live, so live it the way you want...

[Kim E]

Thank you, Lydia. :) I'm very proud and happy for you and for what you have accomplished. You are truly blessed to have transitioned at a young age. You are a very beautiful young woman.

Unfortunately, I waited too long and wasted my life waiting to transition. Now that I'm older and have a health problem, I'll always be pre-op. I've been on HRT for a year and I have some transition goals that are reasonable, so I guess I'll be satisfied and comfortable at that point.

Kim

[MarieTS]

I'd say 85% is a fair estimate at the moment. Ofcourse, if frame of mind counts for anything then I'm a solid 100 ;)
I expect to begin full time RLT by this summer, I just needed a few more months to clean up some administrative details.

[Deborah]

Sadly i have to admit below 25%. Not by choice though and my reason is personal. (Not married either)

[Caitlyn]

Phew...thankgoodness you included nightwear. I am a 36%-50% then. I decided that I could no longer live like I was last october (2004). since then ive had therapy(lots) psychiatrist and phychologist visits, laser hair removal, minor facial surgery(vanity), not had a haircut and ive started buying clothes more suitable for someone my age. I am going down the NHS route (at the moment) so I dont think the hormones will be forthcoming anytime soon. sniff sniff.

[Julie]

Geez! That is really thought provoking Elizabeth. I actually never asked myself that question. The only time I leave the house dressed is to go to TG friendly places. Other than that I've been grocery shopping once, took the dog for a walk around the neighborhood once, been to maybe 15 therapy sessions dressed and that's about all I can think of.

Around the house I'd have to say about half the time I'm en femme but usually sans wig, forms or makeup.

I know I would rarely pass and once I speak passing goes out the door. Even my therapist said my voice was deep enough to present problems for me. I was going to have laser but well over half the hairs I want removed are white. And I can't afford electrolysis. They would have to knock me out anyway. I hate being shocked!

Really the only step I've made is HRT and at my age that doesn't have much physical effect.

So the answer to your question is less than 5% (of what I'd consider living as a woman). And zero would probably be more accurate. Outside of financial restraints and work I have to admit 'I don't have the guts' is a big obstacle for me.

Now I've got some deep thinking to do.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Elizabeth

I agree with Julie, What a question
I have to say its probably less than 10 % but it always seems more somehow
As I have no desire to live full time as a woman this seems about right for me.
Only thing is things can change so who know what the future holds.
Good Luck to all those ladies who are changing over although its not for me I can appreciate how difficult your struggle can be

[kay]

Well, I have been full time (100%) for the last 4 1/2 years, but had been dressing in varying degrees since 1986. My friend took me out to a nightclub for the first time dressed, and I was the only T girl there at that time. I was very nervous, but once I had been out, I never looked back.

Like so many on here, it eventually caused my marriage to fail after 25years, but thats another story for another forum.

Take care all and have a good 2006. K xx

[Sierra]

Hi Elizabeth,If you are interested in TS's particularly they dont all dress as women.Yet I'am percieved to be TG'D .Work.neighbors.family all see a intersexed looking peson via years of hrt.And I do allways wear a nighty and fill my bra with real tits. This is a transition most dont do but it isn't any less or more than another TG'D person .I really respect the views of some that CD and dont plan on any big transitions.Anyway TS's come in many forms all have something in common.I try to appreciate we have a comon bond, of understanding,love and acceptance[well if their nice to me].So if wearing a shirt full of breast isnt full time then what is?

[Elizabeth]

Hi girls,

Thanks for all the wonderful replies so far. It is so great to hear about other TS's lives and what is happening with them. I think you all are just great and I hope that all of you who are not living the lives you want to be, will be afforded the opportunity to do at some time in the future.

I have been dressing full time since August 2004, after giving my unaccepting ex-wife the boot. I did dress in men's clothes three more times, for court appearances related to the divorce, but got a laugh from the gallery in the court room on my final appearance when I raised my right hand to be sworn in, which had brightly painted pink fingernails. My own personal statement to the court, since the deal was already done and approved.

I am now married to a loving accepting woman who not only totally accepts that I am a transsexual, but is proactive in helping me to become the person i have always dreamed of being.

I am however lucky and unlucky. In 2002 after growing so weak and being in such pain, I had to stop doing the job I loved, being an electrician forman. I am lucky because I do not have to consider the problems of coming out at work, but I am unlucky because I have the uncurable, painful and strength robbing illness called Fibromyalgia.

I now live on SSDI which is only about $30k a year(tax free), but it is much less than the $80-90K a year I had been making in the past. However, all in all, I am happier than I have ever been. I start college on Monday and I am building a new future for myself and my children, two of who still live with me and totally accept me as both thier dad, and a transsexual. All of thier friends know about me, and it has really had no impact on thier social lives whatsoever. Basically, none of my fears about coming out and living as a woman, have been realized.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Natasha Anne]

100% of the time since RLT started on 2 December 2005, before that about 15%

[Maria D]

Interesting question. Your classification system raises questions to me though.
For instance, out 'dressed' with a beard doesn't count, so presumably what counts is attempting to be identified as female? If so, where do I stand? I'm very androgenous at the moment, wear women's clothing, like jeans & t-shirts, all the time, am very feminine in deportment and have a feminine hair cut. When I go out to work on the train, I could easily be taken as a woman (well, I hope so...), but then I walk into work and they know me as 'male', though nothing has changed except perception. Does the time 'outside' work count as 'female' time? If so, all of it. If not, I rarely 'make the effort' of full make-up, heels or skirt etc (like most girls I know tbh. In fact, I'm already far more feminine than my sister has ever been.)

BTW Elizabeth, Fibromyalgia? That can be a horrible illness, and I don't know about America, but over here a lot of doctors have trouble believing it exists. My fiancee was thought to have M.E. but it's now suspected that her fatigue is caused by her endometriosis. Either way she hasn't worked in 2 years and we struggle on my wage of about £18k.

I sincerely hope that a treatment for you becomes available soon, or that your symptoms improve.

Take care
Maria
xxx

[CaptLex]

I am however lucky and unlucky. In 2002 after growing so weak and being in such pain, I had to stop doing the job I loved, being an electrician forman. I am lucky because I do not have to consider the problems of coming out at work, but I am unlucky because I have the uncurable, painful and strength robbing illness called Fibromyalgia.

Hey, Elizabeth:

I'm glad things are working out for you generally, and I sympathize about the fibro. I was diagnosed with it last year. Well, actually, I figured out that's what I had after speaking to relatives who have it, and then I went on-line and learned more about it. I told my doctors that I had fibro and then they did some tests and confirmed it. I'm curious as to what, if any, medications or treatments you may be on.

I also put it together that my pain and exhaustion began almost immediately from the time I stopped ingesting female hormones, so I think it's more than a coincidence and there's a connection there - for me, anyway (I certainly can't speak for anyone else). I know different things trigger fibro in different people. In fact, I recently started taking DHEA to test and see whether these hormones would make me feel more like me and then I found out that some people are given DHEA as a treatment for fibro. Then it hit me that the pain has pretty much disappeared since I started taking it (except for a tiny twinge in one elbow). :doh:

So I've discontinued the Elavil that my doctor had me on and am just keeping to the DHEA to see if that's all I need. So far I've been off the Elavil for almost two weeks and no pain. I'd really rather not take the Elavil since it makes me dopey, and the DHEA seems to have improved me in many ways (no mood swings, no hot flashes, etc.).

Anyway, I'm not recommending DHEA for anyone since it is hormonal, but I think it's working for me. I've heard so many different people say all the different things they've tried and what works for them, so I'm curious as to what treatments you've tried for the fibromyalgia and what has or hasn't worked for you. :bs:

Hope it gets better,

Capt. Lex

[Elizabeth]

Hi everyone,

Capt. Lex,

My fibromyalgia started in 1986. For years no doctors could explain my leg pain. Later I started developing problems in my ankles and had to stop working out. That was around 1988. By the early 90's I started having huge trouble with my shoulders hurting. All the while, I had been sleeping only 2-4 hours a night, waking hourly.

Through the 90's I took mass quanities of Tylonol and Ibuprophen because I seemed to have built a tolerance for them. I did not know at the time that those medicines only work on pain caused because of inflamation. If there is no actual injury to tissue, those medications are of little use.

It was not until 1992 that my primary physician referred me to a rheumetologist because of this unexplained pain. It was the rheumetologist that put the sleep disorder together with the pain and depression and figured out.

I have tried all kinds of meds since then, but what works best for me is: I take vicodinES for pain. I take prozac for deepression, I take flexeril for both pain and to help me sleep. And the wonder drug(IMHO) klonopin, which has allowed me to sleep almost normally. Instead of waking up hourly or less, I can now sleep in 4-5 hour stretches and sleep 7-8 hours a day if I want to, which is way above the 2-4 I had been getting the last 12-15 years.

I must include this disclaimer that you probably already know. All people experience Fibromyalgia differently and the same treatments do not always work for people with similar symptoms.

I have never taken female hormones, although I am hoping this is the year, so that can not be the cause of my fibro.





Interesting question. Your classification system raises questions to me though.
For instance, out 'dressed' with a beard doesn't count, so presumably what counts is attempting to be identified as female? If so, where do I stand? I'm very androgenous at the moment, wear women's clothing, like jeans & t-shirts, all the time, am very feminine in deportment and have a feminine hair cut. When I go out to work on the train, I could easily be taken as a woman (well, I hope so...), but then I walk into work and they know me as 'male', though nothing has changed except perception. Does the time 'outside' work count as 'female' time?

Maria D,

I was attempting to find out how often our membership goes out or is at home, living as their target sex. I specifically excluded going out with a beard or mustache because that would not include being out as ones target sex, unless one were a FtM transsexual. However, after reading your post, that is probably an error.

It is no judgement on ones feelings about ones true self, or identity. Just a means of trying to get an idea of how often we are living as our target gender. I guess each person would have to define for themselves, depending on the level of transition they desire to attain, how often they present as thier target gender.

It is a matter of symantics here, because some would not consider a person out as their target gender if they were not 100% passable. I certainly could not pass that scrutiny, and in fact don't even own any breastforms. I go out all the time with a completely flat chest. This could be construed in a similar way as wearing a beard or mustache, that I am not in fact serious about presenting as a female. I however consider myself to have been presenting myself as such since August 2004, when I stopped wearing men's clothing.

So? I will withdraw that requirement from my question, and change it to reflect I am interested about the amount of time one considers themselves to be presenting as their target gender.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Maria D]

Hi Elizabeth,

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause you hassle! As you explain the question just above I see what you mean.
In that case, all of it except work.

Take care
Maria
xxx

[Elizabeth]

Maria,

I was not offended and I do not feel hassled. I just realized after reading your post that it is impossible for any person to define for any other person, what presenting thier gender means. I feel enlightened, not offended. That is why i come here.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Julie]

Elizabeth, I've thought about this a lot since I posted my reply. My personal assessment of how much I live female is pretty strict. I see living as female requiring you interact as female in everyday situations.

Someone comes to your door and you're dressed, do you just answer the door or do you run and hide?
Your lawn needs mowing, do you mow it dressed femininely or do you change into guy clothes?
You have to go to the bank to withdraw some money which requires a picture ID, do you go en femme and deal with explaining who you are or go as a guy?
Food is getting low, do you go to the grocery store dressed or no?
Someone calls on the phone, do you answer in a manner that might be construed as feminine (if this is how you feel inside) or do you put on the male personna you were taught growing up?These are the the types of things I use to gauge how much of my life I live as female. Based on just the ones I mentioned above I'd have to say 0-5%.

But what if how much time I spend en femme were the barometer? Then I'd have to say 80-90%.

I guess it all depends on how one defines 'living as a woman'.

[erica12b]

i can only dress 10% of the time ,that includes sleep time .

[Elizabeth]

Julie,

I am at a point where I do not have different personalities. I am "en femme" all the time. That means that just like any GG, if I have to run to the store at 11:00 pm because I did not know we were out of milk, I am going "as is". I am not putting on makeup, or repairing it if I have had it on all day. If my hair has become somewhat messy, it gets combed or tied back, but nothing major. I have even gone in my housecoat and let my son run into the store for me, I trick I learned from doing it for my mother.

I have had some strange looks from door to door salesman, or religeous people looking for new recruits. I once told this person who wanted my children to go to his church that I did not think his church would allow me to go there, so it would not be appropriate for my children to go someplace I was unwelcome. He was dumbfounded. He just paused for a long time, then said, "yeah, I understand" and walked away all dejected.

I really had to think about it after reading MariaD's post. It made me realize that only each of us, in our own way, do we know where we are, as far as presenting our target gender. There really is no test you can put on it, because only each person knows how they feel at any given moment. Your example of yourself shows why. Thanks for the additional post.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[_Sheli_]

TOTALY awsome responces here! after reading all of what ya'll had to say about this, I did a lot of self examination! As i have said in some other post , my wife is not real suportive of me but, she is not home alot due to work! I get dressed when I get up every day, even the days she is home, I get my female under clothes on as I would if I were wearing a dress. When we , as a couple, go out on her days off , I am dressed male. Just like now, if someone were to come to the door, or I needed to go get gas, or the store, I would be going as Sheli! I cant hide my hair as it is to my butt and very wavie! I cant hide my formed and plucked eye brows, other than wearing sun glasses!
so Im gonna say I fit in some where between 80/95%

Sheli

[PennyAnne]

The question set me back for a moment. Then I realized just how fortunate ( or unfortunate depending on your point of view) that I am and was.
"Gifted" by Mother Nature with an all too feminine body for a man, once I decided that life would be easier as a woman rather than an effeminate man there was no question that I would not live partly as a man and partly as a woman.
The mere prospect of that sort of life style seemed to pose far too many complications. Now I have to admit that if my law partner and my life partner hadn't both concurred with my decision, it would have been a very different matter.
As a result, Phillip left and Penelope took his place. The thing is, I don't at all feel like a man trying to live as a woman. I'm Penelope now and it feels right. Admitedly, in the last few months, I've been curious to see if anyone else has had a simmilar life changing experience, hence my recent appearance here.
And, to save an additional reply...Yes, I do take medication, and yes, I have had cosmetic surgery, both on my face and between my legs. Not exactly a major event for me.(Actually the facial reconstruction was far more traumatic) Just made life a bit less complicated. And, yes, My wife is quite happy with me as I am today.(And I will not go into why that is)
Just as a side comment, I've often wondered why two women living in a commited relationship causes far fewer raised eyebrows than two men in the same situation.
PennyAnne (Penelope Saunders)

[lonontop]

I've just started living full time so a 100% as of Jan this year. Before I moved out of our family home it would of been around 10-15%. Live is so much better now I can be my real self and my work mats,family [most] and children are all accepting:) :)

[orchard]

thats so wonderful sweetie!

[David R]

.0001 percent for me still working things out with my better half.dannielle

[Stacy Reso]

i live less than 25% just because i live at home with mom and 3 brothers otherswise it would be 50-50

[miyako]

I'd day 40% of the time. But varies a lot. I'm also married and have a child and another on the way. =P =)

Miyako Myoung

[Tina Dixon]

Way less than 5%, but it's a fun 5%.

[Nikki700]

I live about 25% as female, but not enough.But when away on holdiay for 2 weeks I am 100% dressed as a female even to thong bikinis at the beach and pool. I never wear male clothing in that time at all only short skirts and dresses and thong undies + breast forms, of course.

I may go for breast implants in the next year .

Nikki700

[sue1970]

Hi all
Going by the definitions set in the first post I would be roughly 35 % may be as much as 40 %. Two years ago it was 10 % and say 2 years before that it would have been 5%. The reason that it has changed is that I have changed, changed mentally/attitude wise. I started out dressing in women’s clothes or more to the point girls (I was 5) and I have kept dressing. I quickly enough found out about transvestites and assumed I was one but one that was not anywhere at peace with themselves as one .That in turn passed I accepted what I was (side note that acceptance triggered a major reduction in alcohol intake) that would bring us to six years ago. Then I realized or perhaps could not hide from myself (?) that I was transsexual. There is nothing sexual about my wearing of women’s clothes for me these days because I know that I am a woman but with out (at this stage) the body to match. The percentage of time that I am dressed to match my mind is growing and I have no question that by this time next year I will be answering 45-50%.

BTW As I have accepted that I am female, dressing and acting accordingly both my alcohol and general level of aggression has fallen to nearly nil. When I state dressing as woman I should state that I am more likely to wear cotton panties, bras and jeans rather than the more sexy attire that a transvestite may wear.

Sue

[deeasheville]

Hi all
Going by the definitions set in the first post I would be roughly 35 % may be as much as 40 %. Two years ago it was 10 % and say 2 years before that it would have been 5%. The reason that it has changed is that I have changed, changed mentally/attitude wise. I started out dressing in women’s clothes or more to the point girls (I was 5) and I have kept dressing. I quickly enough found out about transvestites and assumed I was one but one that was not anywhere at peace with themselves as one .That in turn passed I accepted what I was (side note that acceptance triggered a major reduction in alcohol intake) that would bring us to six years ago. Then I realized or perhaps could not hide from myself (?) that I was transsexual. There is nothing sexual about my wearing of women’s clothes for me these days because I know that I am a woman but with out (at this stage) the body to match. The percentage of time that I am dressed to match my mind is growing and I have no question that by this time next year I will be answering 45-50%.
:clap:
Sue

You and I seem to have a lot in common, I too started dressing early (too young me to remember it). One of my earlest memeries is of being dressedup and playing with one of my brothers and my 3 year older sister.

I was unable to continue to dressup openly, I still dressed as much as 10%.
I knew that I was not a normal boy, but I could not be or play (Dress) as a girl because of religious parents.

As time past I increased to 25% and still in the closet. :angry:
That number jumped to 45% as soon as I came-out, at 37 years old.

I moved to a Gay friendly town over 75 miles from my hometown to recover from the drugs and alcohol, that I started using in the NAM and continued to use off and on (More on than off) for over 30 years. :eek: :eek:

Part of my recovery program included finding the underlying cause for my exstream use of drugs.

That was over 3 years ago and now I live over 75% of the time as a woman and have started (ever so slowly) takeing hormons to start the year right. :bs:

I too will be living closer to 95% of the as a woman by the end of the year.
Almost all of the town I now live in knows me as to be more she than he, some I hope to look more the part.

[sue1970]

Oh My Dee, you and I would seem to have a lot in common. I have spent a great deal of time trying to answer some basis questions about myself, gender and sexuality. I am keenly aware that this came be a very destructive exercise and with that in mind I try to stop the questioning when I think I am either getting maudlin or over excited. The first think that I have spent time wondering about is this; we, that is transsexuals feel/know that we are in the wrong body and that this mismatch is having some very negative effects mentally which in turn can make us do things (drugs/booze) which in turn hurts our bodies and in the worse case can push some one to suicide. So the question I ask myself is this `What is it that is wrong? Just what is a woman?' I hope I don’t offend but I sincerely don’t believe that being submissive, wearing lots of extensive sexy lingerie defines a person as a woman, nor will using cosmetics Yes external sex organs may be part of the equation (if a natal female has her womb removed she is surely still a woman) but there is also how you relate to the world and each other. I could and would like to discuss this a bit more but I wont at this stage for the simple reason that I know this is a topic where I can so easily serious hurt peoples feelings and mental well being which I just will not do. If however I get feed back that we should discuss then I am more than happy to either open a new thread or we can converse via e-mail

Sue

[Rachel_740]

I only live 100% of the time as female, but I want it to be more as soon as possible (which will be the end of June, when I have my op:clap: ).

Rachel

[Lauren415]

i wouls say 25% for my :(

[Rikkicn]

I'm in the 95% range. All my clothes are womens now. I do butch it up some if I'm doing work on the building. I manage a small apt buliding and work with contractors on occasion.
I decided against any surgeries or hormones but would like to do electrolysis soon. I have very long hair, use make up sparingly but seem to pass most all the time. I never would have thought it possible.
Oh, I usually am butch if I go for doctors visits but I'm looking to change that.
I've done chores before and not shaven that day and still called ma'm. That still surprises me.

Great thread, thanks. It's interesting to see how many different ways we approach the world.
Rikki